:: The Super Smash Brothers ::

:: Monday, August 09, 2004 ::

:: the wease 7:08 PM [+] ::

THE END

I, Weasel, officially declare this blog closed. Thanks for the memories, guys.
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:: David 11:11 PM [+] ::

And now, the list goes to me. For this one, I've come up with a special tribute list to former group blogger Ryan (2002-2004). List the top 3 ways Ryan ACTUALLY wrecked Cynthia. Because, come on, driving through high water? Let's use our imaginations here, people. (For those of you that don't know, Cynthia was Ryan's silver Eclipse for about 5 years or so. It had a lot of history.)

In the words of the dearly departed, it's on like Donkey Kong.
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:: David 5:08 PM [+] ::

I'm going to make this kind of general, with a few simple rules just to keep it getting too involved.

1) Ryan must be the first to die because he's been alot better than the other three of us, so he doesn't deserve to have to watch any of his friends get the axe.
2) Weasel must go second because I don't want him to have the satisfaction of watching people die who he doesn't like. I only say this because that satisfaction would be of greater magnitude than that of the sorrow he would feel from watching his friends have to bite it.
3) DT has to kick it before Jenny because otherwise he'll be crying and screaming like a banchee if he has to watch Jenny get executed, and I'd prefer all of our last moments be as quiet and peaceful as possible.
4) Connie must go at the beginning and Heath at the end because if their temperments cross (as they have in the past), then I don't want anyone to have to live through it for the whole time. Connie's first because I don't think she'd handle watching all of these people die very well, so I'll save her the turmoil. Meanwhile, I think Heath could handle it just fine, and would probably have some sort of running dialogue in his head while it was all going on, so since he could stomach it all he gets to go towards the end.
5) If possible, the Bowden's and Corey must all go at the same time. If not at the same time, then back to back to back.
6) I have to go last, because if I'm the one picking this order, than no one other than me should have to go through watching every single person get it.

Within the guidelines of those six simple rules, the order could really be anything. I like this little system because it's nice and flexible. I'd also just like to say that this is a very very morbid list, and I didn't particularly enjoy writing it. No one likes to be reminded of their own mortality, as well as the mortality of the people they care about.
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:: Heath 9:29 AM [+] ::

Okay okay Jenny...

I'm altering my list and putting her last because anyone that beats DT in bowling deserves to die last out of all of us....including me.

Happy now Jenny?
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:: Heath 11:36 PM [+] ::

The order is quite easy to think of...i added a few people just to spice it up.

The real order we would die...
1. Weas-For blaming me for clogging his toilet when Tim said it happens all the time. Who would have thought a toilet would clog alot when its owner makes it a habit of flushing all his Q-tips down there.
2. DT-Anyone that loses to Jenny in bowling deserves to die next
3. Jenny-Anyone who doesn't realize how important it is for a man to beat his girlfriend in bowling deserves to die as well.
4. Corey- For just watching everyone bowl and not actually partaking in the fun.
5. Ryan- Like Weas said, for all of this quitting the blog talk. I'm appalled. But to his credit he did buy me dinner the other night, which is why he's not higher on the list. Plus i think he shares my love of XBox Tennis more than anyone else.
6. Chewy-He's not coming in last, just a middle-of-the-roader. If i were him i'd at least take pride in usually being the best loser.
7. Connie-After Chewy's gone, she wouldn't want to go on in life anyway. Kidding Connie...scroll to the bottom of the list.
8. Marjie-because she didn't hang out with us over spring break...given she didn't have the same break. But, it's the principle of the thing.
9. Kristen-Because she shares my dream of writing an award winning screenplay one day.
10. Myself-Did you really think i would put myself any higher? Plus i have the stomach to watch all my friends die.

*I wasn't really kidding in #7
.....

:: the wease 5:04 PM [+] ::

Well if I got to choose who would be in the room with me, I certainly wouldn't choose my friends. I'd pick some of my enemies to die with me. But I have a feeling that isn't in the spirit of the list, so I'll use you guys.

The order we would die

1. Heath - Heath would die first for clogging my toilet, and I would pull the trigger.
2. Me - Once I get my revenge I'll have no reason to stick around. This may change if anyone does something that makes me want to see them die.
3. Ryan - You'll go next for this blog quitting talk, and primarily for the reason stated below.
4. Chewy - You're last place in everything else. I can't rock the boat.
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:: Heath 1:21 AM [+] ::

Ryan quitting the blog would be heresy...we can't let that happen because most of the time the only reason i remember to post is because he gripes at me. So i'm gonna try to better about the posting thing. In the meantime, we need a list that's new and fresh...something that Ryan would feel he'd be missing out on if he didn't post in response to.

SOOOO....

Suppose you were held hostage in a room with five of your closest friends of your choosing. The man with a gun to your heads said you would all be killed, but in whatever order you decided. So you must come up with a list in order of which friends would be killed first to last, and why. Is there something about this person that they give to the world where they should stay alive longer than the others? Is there something you dislike about this person, jokingly or not, that would make you want them to be taken out first?

Give me the dang list...u too Ryan.
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:: David 9:27 PM [+] ::

Whoa there, Cowboy. Sorry if I happened to miss a sentence in reading things. People do that sometimes.
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:: Ryan 7:35 PM [+] ::

I am seeing the end of the blog for the up-teenth time...which brings me to this point

I QUIT THIS BLOG

Thanks
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:: David 7:07 PM [+] ::

The NCAA Tournament...sucks. The two teams I chose to go all the way were both eliminated in the second round, along with a myriad of other teams I selected to win games later on. As of right now, I'm pretty sure I can't even make it to 40 points. Sucks. Sucks bad.

On the bright side, I watched some of Joe Dirt today. Thank you, Brittany Daniel (aka Eric Foreman's cousin Penny (What is it about the name Penny, Heath?)). This brings me to my next point. There's all this talk about Julias changing out and being banished and whatnot, so, at the risk of sounding like a sex-monger, let's just kick it old school and post "the list." You know what I'm talking about. It's been a long time, so who knows what's changed and what hasn't. "The list," top 5. Go.
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:: the wease 10:23 PM [+] ::

Julia 2...gone? Get out! She left quicker than she got there. What happened, Ryan? As for my list, I'll have to take some time with it. I don't even remember everyone on my old list. But I do know that Tina Fey will stay, and Jessica Simpson is guaranteed a spot.....in my bed.....for always.

Go Duke!
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:: Ryan 8:58 PM [+] ::

What was i thinking. Julia 2 is off the list. She had a short lived stay. taking her place is.....

i dont know....i suppose i dont really need to know until the lists resurface. since its my turn, and i have no clue for a list, lets just revisit our lists from way back when, and update.

go


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:: Heath 4:11 AM [+] ::

Okay David...you see the time that i'm posting this and you'll realize why i was late getting up for lunch/bowling in a few hours. Anyways, i guess i can come up with a few characters for you all

Me-i agree with Chewy's assessment of Matthew Perry...i can deal with that
Ryan-Harland Williams from Rocketman, Half-baked, and There's Something about Mary...the similarities are eerie.
Weasel-The little kid that came up with the "annexation of Puerto Rico" play in Little Giants. Sorry Weasel. It's either him or Billy Bob Thornton for some reason....but i can't live in a world where you'd have the memory of doing it with Angelina Jolie and not me.
Chewy- Topher Grace minus the slicing ongoing sarcasm
Jenny-Jennifer Love Hewitt...ok no Mowry sisters. Now pleeeeeeeeease change yours.
Kristen-I will agree with Jenny about Kate Winslet. It was eerie seeing Kristen up there next to Jim Carrey.
Corey-Kirsten Dunst...i'm givin Corey the best out of all of us.
Connie- like Chewy said it's obviously Mila Kunis...good Lord it's obvious.
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:: David 9:08 PM [+] ::

Alright, this list was my idea and I refuse to be the last to post on it after more than a week. I'm only going to include my friends as characters and leave family out of it, unlike Weasel. I've been having a hard time coming up with a Heath and a Ryan, so we'll see what comes out when I get to them.

Myself - Tobey Maguire or Ethan Embry
Ryan - Harry Connick, Jr. (goin' with the Louisiana roots, plus he's tall and polite)
Weasel - Animated Tarzan (with the voice of Tony Goldwyn)
Heath - Matthew Perry (post drug problem)
The Bowden Sisters - Themselves, respectively (Jenny and Kristen only)
Corey - Julia Stiles
DT - Robert Downy, Jr. (during drug problem)
Connie - Mila Kunis (the obvious choice)

I'm going to stop there, that's about as far as I could go without pulling in people that 1) you guys don't know and/or 2) don't read this thing, anyway. I think that's a solid list. Solid. Heath, we're waiting, and I know that the only thing you're doing with your week is playing X-Box, so get to it.
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:: the wease 10:55 AM [+] ::

Weasel's Song

Starring

Brad Pitt - Weasel
Red Foreman (That 70's Show) - Weasel's dad
Kitty Foreman - Weasel's mom
Michael Richards - Ryan
Ben Savage (circa '96) - Chewy
Heah Ceren - Heath Ceren


That's all I can think of for now. Here is my reasoning:
- Heath would play Heath because I got lazy. I can't come up with a famous person that is like Heath. God wouldn't unleash two of them on this world.
- I stole the Michael Richards thing from Ryan's post. It fits well enough.
- Chewy will be played by Ben Savage from back in the day. I needed some 'nice guy' the little girls liked.
- Have you met my parents? 'nuff said.
- As for me, it is my movie. I should try to embellish (does that have two L's?) my life as much as possible. But here is a list of celebrities I have been compared to, if I must strive for realism: Eugene Levy, Bob Newhart, Steve Buscemi, Dilbert, Hyde (That 70's Show, again). Now do you see why I picked Brad Pitt? Actually, Hyde and Eugene Levy are pretty cool.

Let's get things moving again.
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:: Ryan 12:05 AM [+] ::

I cannot keep this blog running single handedly. post. anyone

on another note, i must amend my "list" for the time being. I will be swapping julia for julia.
Roberts is off, and as a surprise to weasel, good ol julia loius dreifus is on, for her witty charm and perfect fit into my dark hair dark eye mold. Lisa Wilson (former American Idol contestant is making a plea for the list as well, i might bump alison for her. We'll see.
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:: Ryan 12:34 AM [+] ::

That is the first I have seen of that site. 4 people on a blog.....made up phrases and words.....sounds like someone(s) needs to stop riding on the coat-tails of others.

In Drama 4 my senior year, we did something similar to this list. Fen asked the other members of the class who would play each of us, and then we had to do a monolouge from that person. The class picked Rupert Everett to play me. Kramer (michael Richards) came in a close second. Either or would be fine for me. as far as everyone else, beats me. I cant help but think of american pie's four guys when i think of us. Its not to a T, but similarities are there.

I think I should prepare a list of my sayings/words/made up stuff, along with the definitions. There are so dang many, and everyone always ends up saying them.
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:: David 8:46 PM [+] ::

There are some young men we know (somewhat) who have a blog that defines the special words that they use. As I was purusing this list of words, one term in particular caught my eye. It was the word "Plunking," and refered to little Plunk and his girlfriend, DT's step-sister, have underage intercourse. Now, normally I might just have a good laugh about this and read on, but it bothered me. It bothered me because these fine, young gentlemen don't know the REAL roots of the word Plunking. If it weren't for one big Plunk, then little Plunk wouldn't be who he is today, and those four crazy kids wouldn't even have the word Plunking. Obviously, the word "Plunking" originated with the senior Plunk and his exorbanant number of promiscuous encounters, not the junior Plunk and his sexual relationship with one little lady. I emplore the guys in the E.L.I. to correct this oversight in order to better understand and appreciate the word "Plunking."

The blog is here, and the guys some of us might know are Ben Palmer, Adam Roberts, and Stephen Brown (that's right, Dirty David Brown's brother).

Question of the week: If you made a movie about your life, who would be the cast and who would they play? You can also describe a plot if you want to, but that might be a little too detailed.
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:: Heath 11:23 PM [+] ::

As usual, i shall be the last to post.

1) Dumb and Dumber- Harry has a bulletproof vest on at the end to save his life. When asked what would have happened had he got shot in the head, he doesn't know what to say. In real life, he would have been shot in the head...people that stupid in real life don't exist, and when they do, they get shot in the head.
2) Moulin Rouge-The fact that Nicole Kidman's character died at the end is actually realistic...she was a whore, and whores get diseases like that. The unrealistic thing about this movie is the fact that she and Ewan McGregor (sp?) hooked up in the first place. Whores are businesspeople. They do whatever gets them the green. Falling in love with a penniless writer is no way to break the bank. In real life, she would have given him whatever STD's she had, pretended she was in love with him for just as long as it took to empty his bank account, and left him handcuffed to a bed a la Seinfeld.
3) Van Wilder- In the movie, Van barely passes all his finals in the end to graduate from Cooledge College. He hooks up with Tara Reid, as they both kiss while the camera fades out. In real life, Van's dad would have cut him off after four years of college, not paying the next five. Tara would have ended up with that "pre-med Dick" she dated up until Van. And Taj would have died in that freak body oil fire accident he started while trying to pleasure some third rate skank. Oh did i forget to mention the fact that kids as cool as Van Wilder don't actually exist? And even if one did, he'd end up as the assistant manager at a McDonalds somewhere.
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:: David 11:04 PM [+] ::

I don't think I even know two movies well, let alone three.

1) With Honors - When was the last time you made friends with a bum in the basement of your library? Bottom line, in real life, Brendan Fraser's character turns in the bum, gets his thesis back, changes nothing, and goes through life without thinking twice about it.

2) Little Giants - Two words: No. Way.

3) Shawshank Redemption - First of all, great movie. Second of all, Andy doesn't tunnel out with the rock hammer, and if he does, he passes out in the sewage line from a lack of oxygen and dies there, drowning in a pool of human waste that isn't his own. That's if the Sisters didn't kill him years ago. As a little side note, Andy also gets addicted to crack while he's in lock-up.
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:: Ryan 10:06 PM [+] ::

tought topic

1. office space - rather than the building burning down, Lumburg should have found the money, and rather than fire the three, he would have them all at his whim for the rest of their lives.

2. any action movie - whenever its one guy against 20+ men, odds are the one will not survive. I find it funny how people shooting machine guns tend to miss so often.

3. west side story - what really happens is Chino's immigrant anger doesnt stop with tony, he shoots Maria for not realizing what he did for her, among other reasons. He then runs off with certain members of the cast, who can do nothing. I mean, he shot his sister, you cant stop him.
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:: the wease 5:41 PM [+] ::

Movies with Unrealistic Outcomes:

1) Return of the King - come on, SOMEONE from the fellowship should have died. You can't expect me to believe none of those dumb-ass hobbits fell on a pointy stick.
2) James Bond Movies - In real life he'd be dead from syphillus, about 30 times over. Lord knows where someone named Pussy Galore has been.
3) Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - I'm convinced the director's cut has the true, original ending - the so called "Gang Bang ending."
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:: Heath 9:58 PM [+] ::

Our band...That Thing You Do style...

CD: Supersmash My Heart to Pieces
Band: The Oneders

On lead vocals: Chewy, aka "Jimmy"....the "talent" of the group. Writer of that hit song "Alone in My Principles". His talent is only preceded by his ability to get frustrated with those around him who don't share the same dedication to perfection. Not even Liv Tyler (yeah right) throwing herself at him would stop Chewy from writing his music. It was only when he was forced to record "That Thing You Do" in Spanish that Chewy came up with his next, and last, hit song "I Quit".
On bass: Weasel, known throughout the movie only by "The Bass Player". He looks innocent and does his job. Leave it to Weas to be the one to stab the rest of his bandmates in the back....and join the armed forces. During the movie, he tells the soldiers he can do 200 push-ups in a row...and we all know the only one of us with freakish strength, at least enough to do that, would be Weas.
On drums: Guy Patterson, known to his close friends as Ryan and known to the rest of the world as "Shades". He's the nice guy that you think will finish last but pulls a rabbit out of the hat in the end, hooking up with Liv Tyler. We all should realize this is the way it's gonna probably be. Ryan will have the hottest wife out of all of us, after probably stealing her away from Chewy, like in the movie. This unfortunately leaves Chewy to write one last song, "Shotgun to the Mouth".
On lead guitar: Heath, known as Lenny in the movie. He's the constant joker, never taking a thing seriously. We all love him for lines such as, "A guy in a really nice camper wants to put our song on the radio. Give me a pen...I'm signing, you're signing, we're all signing." In the end, he hooks up with a hot blonde secretary who used to be a Playboy Bunny, and they get married in Vegas. The sarcastic one of the group, he busted Jimmy's chops the most...easily.

Look for The Oneder's album sometime this summer!!!

Alright...next list.

I got this idea from the Dave Chapelle show. Give me a list of at least 3 movies you know pretty well...but that don't have realistic outcomes. For each of them, give a more "realistic" outcome.
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:: the wease 4:21 PM [+] ::

We'd be the Monkees, because the only way we would ever form a band is if some executive threw a bunch of (or any) money at us. I guess that describes N sync, too.
Me - Michael Nesmith - he was the tall guy with the hat. ("That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat!") No, I'm not tall nor do I have a hat. But he was the one who got frustrated with the label and the campy, formulaic songs that the Monkees had to perform. I figure I would get frustrated not having control of a band I was in, as well.
Heath - Davy Jones - Yes, because he was the one that all the girls wanted. He was also the most "pop," and what is Heath if he isn't a tool of the record producers?
Chewy - Mickey Dolenz - He sang all the popular songs. And of course David "The Voice" Burkholder would be singing any of our popular songs.
Ryan - Peter Tork - Ok, so I looked this fact up. Pete was a folk musician, and if Ryan had musical talent it would be very laid back and folksy, at least most of the time. I can see him wailing, too, but it didn't fit my analogy so I chose to ignore it. I'm not going to change my band now.

Heath, it's all you. Come up w/ a better list than mine.
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:: Ryan 1:39 PM [+] ::

The way i see it, we are very similar to ....i hate to say it...but N'Sync.
Heath would be Justin, having the ability to sing, but more notably, having the ability to move from girl to girl to girl.
David would be JC, also being able to sing (and very well at that). He keeps a low cover, not as high profile as Justin, and is still able to be famous without the crutch of the group.
Wease would be (HA) Lance, because he, just as I, cannot sing, and has to rely on other stunts to receive publicity, such as smart people stuff, like the space program.
Ryan would be Joey. He's old. He's really old. He's goofey lookin. the only reason he's in the group is because he is old and goofey lookin.

there ya go.
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:: David 11:09 PM [+] ::

Making the Band: Blog Syle

I've thought almost semi-halfway seriously about this topic. I decided that above all else, Heath would have to be drums. I've got a couple of reasons for this. First, chicks dig the drummer for some reason, and since chicks already dig Heath, it's only natural he goes drummin'. Second, I don't see Heath having the stage personality to play one of the guitars, nor the fingers to do it effectively. He's more of the laid back type, and his fingers are way to stubby to play a rippin' guiater solo.
Weasel would play the bass guitar. I've never heard of a bass player with a roaring persona, so Weasel got this one because I didn't know where else to put him. Except keyboards. But I figured he wouldn't like that one too much, so I stuck an axe in his hands instead.
Ryan would be the lead guitar. He's got the flare, and the big hands, to get the job done. He's got a fire in his hands, and a flame in his eyes, so I can see him going crazy on a mad solo and making for some nifty stage presence. He's the "wild man." I thought about putting him on the drums because he can go crazy with the sticks, but decided the band would be better off if Heath were drums and Ryan was lead guitar.
I guess that makes me vocals. I realized that, and it kind of depressed me because that's all I know how to do, so I'm here by default. I guess I could play the keyboard, but I don't like that very much. Vocals it is. I can't even see myself having very good band vocals. This pick is obviously the weakest of all the band, I should just hire a guy to do lead vocals and I'll manage the band. Hey, that's it, I'm the manager.

My face hurts. Merry March First to all, and to all a good night.
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:: the wease 3:07 AM [+] ::

First off, good news. All 4 Seinfeld actors have finally agreed to do the bonus material for the DVD's. 180 episodes of pure comedic bliss are headed your way.

My Backup in a fight

1. Ryan - It took me a while to pick the top spot here. Initially I thought Heath is stronger than Ryan, if I get in a fight at 4pm Ryan would still in bed, and Heath wasn't the one who picked Chewy over me. But instead of playing passive aggressive games and "revenge listing," I decided Ryan would be my first choice for this reason: He has some hidden store of energy that we usually see him tap around 4 or 5am, a few hours after Chewy has gone to bed. I don't know where it comes from, but Ryan has the uncanny ability to run on pure adrenaline for days. He would be "on" in a flash, getting in those crucial first strikes. Plus, he's crazy.


2. Heath - Now it's easy. I can either take a lawnchair or Heath. And even though being on Heath's "team" is dangerous in most games, I know he'd back me up in real life at least until a girl walked by.


3. Chewy - We both knew how this would end up. Let's not make it any harder, baby. Shhh, don't talk.

New list: It's another group-focused list. If we had to form a band, who would do what? It can be any style of band you like, but we all have to be on stage. No cop-out jobs like manager, security, or Jermaine Jackson.
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:: Ryan 8:09 PM [+] ::

wow, two quick responses, i guess i will go ahead and give mine, so that when wease posts his, he can post another list as well.

if we were just wrestling, corpus-style, i would have to go Heath, Wease, then David, simply from the performances given there, who gave, and who my partner was, but since this would be an all out fist fight...my picks would be...

1. David - for a couple of reasons, i would have David be my #1, most noteworthy, and what sticks out in my mind, is in Florida when my brother was being a botch, trying to fight him, and he just snapped and got ahold of Logan with a fire in his eyes I had never seen before. Because of past events, i think David wouldn't second-guess wailin on some folks.


2. Heath - because he is a natural aggressor, and is probably the reason this fight would occur in the first place. Also, much like me, i think that no matter what happens, he wouldn't give up. I mean, there were times where I couldn't breathe in corpus, but i didn't give. I put a mark in the win column over my own well being, and i think he would do the same.


3. Weasel - I think between the three of you, there is no way I could go wrong with any of you by my side, but, in custom list fashion, there has to be closer to the list, and dispite his ferocious actions and unpredictability, Wease lost his top spot in my book sometime over spring break '02.

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:: David 5:58 PM [+] ::

WANNA BOX?!?!

1) Heath - I was totally going to put Ryan numero uno, and then I remembered something. Heath, as my teammate, made Weasel call uncle in Corpus. Let me say that again: Heath made the mentally unflappable Weasel...flap! Once I remembered that, there was no question about who needed to be number one.

2) Ryan - At 6'3" and about 170-180, he's certainly bigger than the rest of us. And in a fight, I 'd rather have the taller, heavier Ryan than the shorter, lighter Weasel. To put it in another way, if Ryan and Weasel went mano y mano, I think Ryan would win. That's why he's number two.

3) Weasel - Sorry you're so low on the list. I realize that you're potentially a dirty fighter, frightening aggressive (both in a fight and on a date), and I'd certainly much rather have you as a friend than an enemy. Even so, Heath made you call mercy, and I think Ryan would beat you in a fight. That simply makes you number three. No offense.

Ding, ding.
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:: Heath 5:43 PM [+] ::

Good list Ryan...

Now, please no one take offense to the order to which i'm about to give...

1. Ryan-Flat out...he's got the size advantage over the other two. What he lacks in shear tenacity he makes up for the fact that compared to the rest of us, he's an ogre (in a good way Ryan, in a good way). Plus i think it's a fair assumption that Ryan's just as strong if not stronger than the other two, even taking into consideration Weas's freakish unbridled strength and Chewy's recent "surge" in the size department. Ryan, you'd have my back first if it were up to me.
2. Weasel-this was a hard one to decide between him and Chewy. The thing that gives Weasel the edge is not his freakish strength already mentioned, but rather his mental capacity for hairy situations. If the situation was really bad, Weasel would be able to calculate the odds in the blink of an eye and determine the only way for us to win would be for him to pull out the shank he was carrying in his back pocket. Since we know Weasel doesn't care what others think, he wouldn't mind fighting dirty either.
3. Chewy-Sorry man, i wish i could have put you higher. But all i kept hearing to myself (a bit thanks to talking with you as well) was "not the human lawnchair".

K....I posted first for the first time in awhle...now all of u get to goin.
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:: Ryan 5:30 PM [+] ::

We are all known to crack a joke and keep it running with the best of them. Lets say we do this amongst the company of strangers, and they do not take kindly to said joke, and want to start a "rumble". Sure, i think each of you would have my back, but lets make it interesting, and say at the time, only one of the 4 of us was with you. who would that one be, and why? you can then put the remaining two in order, followed by a reason as well.
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:: David 12:29 AM [+] ::

Spring Breakin'...OLD SCHOOL STYLE!

What I wish I would be doing:
1) Sleeping
2) Going out of the country, preferably to some island paradise.
3) Four words: Cabin on a lake.

What I'll be doing fo' real:
1) Physics homework
2) MCAT homework
3) Sleeping

Time for a new list.
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:: Heath 9:35 PM [+] ::

Wish i was:
Goin to south padre maybe...i think some guys here are going.
Goin skiing...again, some guys here going.
Goin to Hawaii with my parents who don't like their kids enough to invite them along with them.

I am going to:
Hang out with lil' Kacey
Hang out with Pablosuki
Probably watchin a good amount of movies.

I'm not interesting anymore...on a good note, i have a date on sunday.
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:: Ryan 12:51 AM [+] ::

wish i was :
going to LA
going to (Insert body of water here)
planning ahead

going to:
sit
work
not realize that there is supposed to be some difference between that week and every other week before it
.....

:: the wease 4:46 AM [+] ::

I spent 4 hours talking philosophy (of religion and god, of course) with Cabe. Now it's 4:45, and I have to wake up at 5:30....or continue the conversation with Ryan.
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:: the wease 4:37 AM [+] ::

Wanna Do:

1) Take a trip with friends on the overlapping weekend between my spring break and theirs. (possibly New Braunfels)
2) Take a trip with friends on the overlapping weekend between my spring break and theirs.
3) Take a trip with friends on the overlapping weekend between my spring break and theirs.

Will Do:

1) Whatever anyone suggests
2) Dentist appt.
3) Taxes
.....

:: David 11:06 PM [+] ::

Double the pleasure, double the fun. This is a compound list concerning Spring Break. List the top 3 things that you'd want to do over Spring Break, then list the top 3 things that you'll most likely be doing over Spring Break. I guess it's an exercise in depressing yourself by comparing the dream with the reality. Hit it.
.....

:: the wease 8:08 PM [+] ::

Chewy. List. Go.

In the meantime I'll ramble about myself, since I don't maintain a personal blog anymore. Went to bed at 1:30 last night. Why? I was composing punk songs on a website where you can do just that until 12:30. Then I wasn't tired. I had all this rage. I wanted to punch The Man in the face and scare conformist drones out of their routine with a mohawk!!...but instead I played some NCAA. Fell asleep around 1:30....and woke up 4 hours later. Now I work on SMU's student newscast. Call for writers is at 6am. It's rough. I hope I can stick with it.
.....

:: Heath 12:00 AM [+] ::

The dang blog ate my first post so this one won't be as detailed. I'm really pissed off right now.

1. Heath- That's right...me. I wouldn't last as long as the others because, like one said, i would lack the entertainment. The only thing that might make me last longer would be believing i was in competition with my other friends to see who could survive longest. But i doubt even that could save me. A Heath without entertainment is no Heath at all.
2. Weas- It was close between me and him. The thing with Weasel is he would have a hard time surviving without people around him to keep secrets from. He'd sit on the beach, rocking back and forth, playing a game of 20 questions with friends that aren't there. He'd pass away, taking all the secrets with him that were buried inside....except one.
3. Chewy- He'd last awhile because he'd find a nice dark corner somewhere, take a huge pile of food to last awhile, and spend the time drawing some medical or mathematical calculation on a rock wall with a piece of charcoal he found. Even if his friends were to find the island, discover Chewy there and try to take him away from his work, he'd replay, "I'm busy can't you see....I'm a doctor damnit." This would be a pretty good feat for the man once known as the Vanilla Thrilla (only referred to by himself)
4. Ryan- Ryan would last the longest because of his ability to hibernate. One week awake to Ryan is equal to 6 months to the normal person. In that week he'd get enough food to last him his slumber, and spend the rest of the time either amusing himself with 2 sugar packets he had in his pocket or with building his personal monopoly board out of bark and stone.
.....

:: the wease 6:41 PM [+] ::

Island Survivability Chart
Dr. Weasel


Nothingua Sleepula - Comman name: Ryan. After years of studying the Ryan, I have yet to see it move more than 5 miles from its place of birth. If conditions threatened its nest, it is doubtful a Ryan would bother to move. A Ryan is the most sedentary creature listed, often sleeping for between 18 and 22 hours a day. A specific number is impossible to calculate, because an awake Ryan is as active as a sleeping one. Ryans appear to do nothing, not even what is required for basic survival. They squander resources on shiny metal discs in an elaborate trade system, even though these disks provide no shelter or transportation. Survivability: Lowest

Weasellum Americanus - The American Weasel has no particular skills to adapt to island life. It is also a highly sedentary species, much like a ryan. However, when its life is threatened, a weasel will display surprising strength and agility. The weasel neglects to plan ahead, often forgetting to forage for the winter. Instead the weasel raids the stash of other organisms to survive. On a desert island, the weasel is bereft of most of his survival resources - other species. Survivability: Low

Hornieum Heathios - Although his survival skills aren't as advanced as other species, the Heathios is a resilient species. It has tremendous stores of fat that allow it to survive in harsh conditions, lasting months without food. The Heathios reproduce often in captivity, but in their natural state the male Heathios loses interest before the female finishes her courtship dance. Their social structure appears to support some sort of confining, exclusive bond between a male and a female which facilitates reproduction even beyond desirable levels. Survivability: Moderate

Chewicus Pussicus - This scrawny creature, commonly known as the Chewy, is best suited for island living. Although its small size and slow reflexes make it an easy target for most predators, its highly developed brain gives him a distinct advantage. The Chewicusses demonstrate excellent medical knowledge and a knack for tool use. It seems to understand simple rules of survival, such as "don't drink seawater," which are invaluable on a deserted island. If Chewies live far away from predators, they will flourish. Survivability: High
.....

:: Ryan 12:20 AM [+] ::

I thought this post would be difficult, then i decided to base my decision on who would be able to pass the time without going stir crazy, and it came pretty easily.

1. Ryan (that being me) - I would survive longest simply from my track record of splitting my time between doing nothing and sleeping 12 hours out of the day for the past 4+ years.


2. Weasel - the only other one out of the four who sleeps and procrastinates almost as much as i do. sleep will be the winner it seems.


3. Heath and David - thats right, a tie, a cop out. My plea for heath involved him always watching movies, which he wouldnt have on an island, and i dont know if he would be as laid back as david. My plea for david involved him being smart, and able to figure out how to survive in his head, but not being able to hold off going stir crazy from not having anything to fill his time, as he is a busy body.

There we go.
Next.
.....

:: the wease 11:40 PM [+] ::

That's Thurston Howell the Third, to you.
.....

:: David 11:36 PM [+] ::

Island survival are a tough call, especially with each on our own island because they'll obviously have to be a little different. One thing is sure, though, and that is that Heath would survive the longest because with his luck, he would land on an island that wasn't actually deserted, but instead had nothing but young maiden's between the ages of 17 and 25. That's just Heath's way. After that, it gets a little sketchy. Since Weasel's views are a bit more relaxed than Ryan's and mine, I think he might have an easier time killing himself. Then again, Weasel's also been one to scof in the face of nature and never admit its supremacy over him, so he'd probably tough it out even if he wanted to kill himself just so he could stick it to Mother Nature. Tough call. I'll average it out and say he goes out second. And what about me and Ryan with spots 1 and 3 still open? I've always considered myself a strong willed person, but on a deserted island with tall coconut trees, being tall and having long arms is probably a little more practical. Since I have neither, I guess that puts Ryan in the 3 spot. It sucks that I'd have to starve to death, though. It's just as well, I never liked coconut anyway. So to recap, the order from shortest to longest duration of stay on Isle de Desert (along with the corresponding characters from Isle de Gilligan) is:

1) Me (Gilligan)
2) Weasel (Mr. Howell)
3) Ryan (The Skipper)
4) Heath, with the aid of his lady friends (The Professor*, you lucky bastard)

*This has nothing to do with intelligence, because then Heath wouldn't be the professor. The title was given merely to show desert island-living ability compared to the souls lost on the Minnow during a three hour tour...a three hour tour.
.....

:: the wease 11:06 PM [+] ::

Cast Away ws on TV tonight, so it got me thinking about what it would be like to be stranded on a desert island. And I wondered if I could survive and for how long. And then I wondered which one of us would last longest. If we each crashed on our own island, which one of us would last longest, and how long would each of us survive?
.....

:: Heath 3:48 PM [+] ::

K here's my list...

1.) American Idol...the only reason i feel guilty about it is my grotesque dedication to it...i have to tape it no matter what the circumstances.
2.) I'm currently using Crest White Strips...my mom got them for Christmas for me cuz i told her one time they'd be fun to try out. And now i'm using them. And i like them. Don't laugh.
3.) The Real World on MTV...i hate myself for it.
4.) Clay Aiken...i have his CD and like listening to it. I'm not gay i swear.
5.) I went bowling like 3 times last week. Higgs is starting to play here and so i think i might be getting back into it. I only feel guilty about it because i take it somewhat seriously.

.....

:: the wease 2:40 PM [+] ::

Alright, here's my list of guilty pleasures:

1) Chocolate. I eat candy like a 10-year old kid...or a pregnant lady. I try not to eat too much because it seems so womanly.
2) The OC. Susannah comes over to watch it, and now I have been watching it. Lots of hot girls, and shitty acting/writing.
3) Singing to my favorite songs. People know I sing, but I'm so bad I try not to do it when people are around.
4) I still think playing with Legos is fun. I'm not ashamed of that one at all, but it seems like something other people would make fun of me for.


I only have four right now.

Time to up the hit count-

Successful youth. successful youth. successful youth. successful youth. eligible bachelors. hot single guys. young hot single guys. young hot smart rich single guys. young hot rich smart attractive successful clean fun single guys.


.....

:: Ryan 12:31 PM [+] ::

and i was looking at the counter.
A few interesting facts to note.

- we currently have around 9,300 hits. holla
- many people have hit us from a search engine, with searches such as supersmashbros, heath weasel ryan david, and my favorite

successful youth.

thats right, beats me how that search pointed here. there are certainly none of those to be found here.
.....

:: Ryan 12:26 PM [+] ::

1) Stupid TV shows like DC, OC, i dont feel guilty about watching seinfeld. Outside of those, i really dont watch much TV
2) Sweet n low packets
3) When i am in my car, I sing, play air guitar, and just generally flail around like a rock star when i am alone.
4) Italian Ice
5) Eating out all the time, and blowing money like i have tons of it, when really, i have none.
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:: David 12:26 PM [+] ::

If I have a top 5 guilty pleasures that i've never really admitted to anyone, how would it make sense to post them in front of everyone? And now, the list.

1) Baking. Shut up.
2) Yeah, I'll admit it, sometimes I sing along to songs sung by girls...in their register. It's just not the same down an octave. Shut up.
3) Little Giants was on tv earlier in the week, and I really wanted to watch it. That's the movie I watched when I was 12 and they were keeping me awake because they weren't sure if I had a concussion or not. Did I mention I'm 20 and I wanted to watch it? I also watched Fools Rush In twice in the past week. I love that movie. Shut up.
4) I dance stupid when I'm alone in my room listening to music and getting ready for something or just messing around. I said shut up.
5) When you go to bed, do you sometimes talk like the dialogue of a play and talk in the voices of the characters? Yeah, me neither. Shut up.
.....

:: Ryan 11:52 PM [+] ::

Leave it to Heath to do exactly what i said he would do.
and if you looked at my site so closely, you would have seen that I already posted the list there.
My New Blog
if you really want to read it that bad, go there.
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:: Heath 3:07 PM [+] ::

LOL at Ryan watchin Dawson's Creek and admitting it online. Wow. Which brings me to the next list, even though Ryan still hasn't posted his last one yet....lazy.

Top five guilty pleasures that you really haven't admitted to anyone.
.....

:: David 11:04 PM [+] ::

So my AOL stopped working. Not my AIM, my AOL. I can't get to my email. It's really retarded. I think I'm going to have to get a new address, but until I do, if someone needs to email me, they should do it at dburkh3@mail.utexas.edu. It'll probably take me awhile to remember to check it. But that's ok because I don't get any conversational emails anyway.
.....

:: Heath 9:30 AM [+] ::

Spring me vs. Shawnee me...

1. I get more done here. When i'm at home i have a tendency to be lazy and just sit around. Here it seems like i get alot of stuff done mainly because i have to if i wanna stay here.
2. It's weird...first year or so here i was more sociable back in Spring and less of a people person here. Now it seems it's the opposite. I go out of my way to talk to people now here at school and at home I kind of hold back.
3. When i'm here i don't make fun of Chewy
4. When i'm at school I talk to "free and liberated Weasel" as opposed to the Spring version "locked up for life Weasel".
5. By the way...Ryan's the same no matter where i go. Works and sleeps.
6. You appreciate family more when you're away from them.
7. I play more games in Spring.
8. Like Ryan, i probably spend more money doing stuff at home.
9. I'm around the alcohol alot more here...that's probably because i live with a borderline alcoholic.
10. I gotta go take a shower before class.
.....

:: David 11:18 PM [+] ::

Quick and dirty.

1) I'm way more social in Spring. Here I'm always working on something. M-Th this semester, I spend more than 45 hours on campus, and those are during weeks that I don't have extra work to do. Plus I'm really shy anyway.

2) Unlike Weasel, I keep more regular hours in Austin. I like sleep. A lot.

3) I'm not much of a city kind of guy. I like the suburbs because it feels more home-y and more outdoors-y, less confined. Austin isn't even a big city, UT is so crowded and there's so much concrete everywhere. I'm just not all about the gray.

4) I eat better when I'm not here. That's just the truth.

5) I'm a lot lazier at home and in Spring than I am here. I can't afford to be lazy at school.

6) A lot of people say they're glad to be "free" from their family, but mine never rode me like Weasel's rides him. I had a ton of freedom back at home, and for the most part it was all at my own discretion. I do miss being closer to my family. That'd probably be the hardest part is I ever go out-of-state since nowhere I'm looking at outside of Texas is within 1000 miles of family.

That's it. Yee haw!
.....

:: the wease 6:31 PM [+] ::

Ok, lets talk about what I'm like in Spring and what I'm like in Dallas.

1. I keep slightly more regular hours when I'm in Spring because it's forced upon me by my parents. I can't stay out or up as late because there is nothing to do and I have to be home. Also, my Dad gets really mad if I sleep in on Saturdays. And on Sundays I have church or the occasional Texans game. All this makes me wake up before noon.

2. I swear more when I'm in Dallas. Do you guys remember Susannah? (I know Heath does) Her foul mouth is contagious. BALLS!

3. Things in Dallas are open later. I can get Jack in the Box 24 hours a day. Not like that crappy JITB on Steubner. Same with Cafe Brazil. In Spring all we have is IHOP with creepy waitresses. It has a certain charm, but I have options in Dallas.

4. I am much more competitive in Spring because there is an outlet for it. No one here plays SSB, RISK, A&A, Spades or Monopoly well. All people do here is drink and dance.

5. I'm lazier in Dallas. Again, it's parents that make me do stuff at home.

6. I'm socially awkward and shy in Dallas. Maybe I was in Spring, also. But it's more apparent here because I don't know very many people. In Spring I knew a lot of folks and always hung out in places where those people were. (Church, drama or debate rooms, honors classes, the backseat of a 1989 Plymouth Voyager)

Fatty and Nerdy, you guys are up.
.....

:: Ryan 12:36 AM [+] ::

A post from everyone in two days?? holy wow. dont drop the ball now fellas. usually i would just let someone else post next, but lets be honest, that wouldnt happen. So....

Since we all went off to college in 4 different spots, what is different between "spring" you, and "insert college town here" you. you could even go as far as saying whats different with the towns n such. i dont care. just post. anything. please.
.....

:: David 5:52 PM [+] ::

Brace yourselves gentlemen, I've come out of my cave to lay down on the blog...

Things that have changed since high school? Come on, we're almost halfway into the "Aughts" here. Let's see what I've got up my sleeve.

1) My weight fluctuated. I started at 125, got to about 147, and now I'm hovering somewhere between 138-140. I think.
2) Weasel's right, I have to shave. Not because it grows thick, but because I don't want to look like I've got dirt on my face.
3) I study now. I never studied back in the day.
4) I watch a lot less TV. I don't have time for it.
5) America is at war in Iraq instead of hunting down Milosivic, which is a name I can't spell. That's us, the champion of our own interests while we disguise it in "the wellfare of the world."
6) This will be hard to believe, but I'm a bigger nerd now than I ever was in my last three years of high school. I won't talk about my freshman year.
7) Cher is younger now than she was 4 years ago. Wait, let me rephrase. Cher's components are younger now than they were 4 years ago.
8) Weasel makes it sound like he got play during the majority of high school when we all know that it was only the last 6 months or something like that.
9) Now, Weasel will come back with a vicous attack on me via this blog public forum. In the olden days, he just would've said it when we were around a group of people.
10) The 15 year old me could probably beat the 20 year old me at basketball.
11) The 20 year old me could probably whomp the living crap out of the 15 year old me right afterwards, though. I'd steal my wallet while I'm at it.
12) I wear glasses.

Oddly enough, I've still got a ton of the same clothes. I guess my clothing turnaround is fairly slow. My body is in 2004, but my fashion is still in 1999-2001.
.....

:: Heath 5:30 PM [+] ::

Hmmm what has changed since high school?...this is the best i could come up with:

1.) Nowadays, i can't feed a small African country with my excess body fat.
2.) I don't make fun of Chewy...crap nevermind.
3.) I value money alot more than i used to
4.) I don't kidnap people anymore.
5.) Supersmash brothers is not the first thing that comes to mind when i wake up in the morning or go to bed at night.
6.) I don't work in hell (pappasitos for those that don't know me well)
7.) I don't make a daily habit out of listening to Nsync....just wait till a new record comes out though.
8.) I'm closer to my family
9.) I'm not as into the long hair thing as i used to be
10) Krista Allen is #1 on my celebrity list...over and over

K i'm sure there's more but chew on that for awhile.
.....

:: Ryan 12:05 AM [+] ::

i must agree with the "not much has changed" idea...in general.
but...

1) i dont sleep, or at least i usually dont go to sleep until 2 or 3
2) I don't always have to go out to do things, staying in is fine by me
3) I can see myself getting married (dont take this too far, please)
4) I went through my facial hair stage right after college, and now shave daily.
5) heres a kicker....i am not a huge fan of sarah or ani much anymore, their latest releases were not up to par. still a fan, not a huge one.
6) I can't hang onto money to save my life.

thats good for now.

when i think david will post: about a week
when i think heath will post: about a month, if ever
.....

:: the wease 11:53 PM [+] ::

Weird. It double posted. First of all, I would like to say that not much has changed since I graduated. I think that should tell me there is a problem. It does tell me that, in fact. But I'm sure I can come up with three things....

THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL

1. I don't get any play
2. I can stay out past 11:30. (Why not just say midnight?? Why was it always 30 min before everyone else?)
3. I play far less SSB
4. I have to shave more often
5. Chewy has to shave
6. Now I'm bitter and mean
.....

:: the wease 11:46 PM [+] ::

Hey, guys. What's up?
.....

:: Ryan 11:45 PM [+] ::

i refuse to let that post be it.

give me (at least) 3 things that have changed since you graduated high school.

there is an appropriate post
.....

:: the wease 11:43 PM [+] ::

Hey, guys. What's up?
.....

:: Ryan 10:09 PM [+] ::

http://www.vh1.com/artists/az/jones_norah/362774/album.jhtml

Yes, she is my #1. No doubt in my mind.
.....

:: the wease 12:49 PM [+] ::

Get off my saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaac
.....

:: the wease 12:41 PM [+] ::

That is an even bigger load of crap. Your post is completely innacurate, Chewy. For me to tell a girl I can't go out with her would mean SHE would actually have to ASK me out. And we all know that isn't happening.
.....

:: David 12:27 PM [+] ::

I figured it was time I got into the action. The biggest let down that by Wednesday afternoon, the time I would've left, Weasel hadn't even started his work. So I was in Austin...for nothing. And he was alone...for nothing. Now I see why girls don't oft come his way. "Yeah, I'd love to go out with you sometime, but I've got sitting around to do, so I don't think I'll be able to fit it into my schedule."
.....

:: Ryan 3:42 PM [+] ::

Thats the biggest load of crap i have ever heard
.....

:: the wease 12:16 PM [+] ::

I have papers to write. I can't be distracted with friends coming over. School is important.
.....

:: Heath 8:17 PM [+] ::

I think a better topic to write about is the fact i don't even know Weasel anymore. I heard from Chewy himself that it was WEAS who cancelled Chewy's trip to Dallas. Either he's started to hate Chewy or we're seeing a whole new side of our friend.

Kinda sad actually.
.....

:: the wease 6:43 PM [+] ::

Reading Connie's blog one wouldn't exactly come away with the idea that she won the spelling or grammar bees in school. At least she types a lot...
.....

:: Ryan 6:25 PM [+] ::

Spelling by Connie

found on Connie's Blog
'Pronociation by my math teacher:
He likes saying the word determine....
de-ter-mine # '

post
anyone
please
- posted by Ryan @ 4:23 PM "
.....

:: the wease 11:39 AM [+] ::

Saturday Oct. 25th 2003 David B

"Next week: Why unicorns and mafia don't mix."

Several weeks later....nothing. Damn you and your empty promises.
.....

:: Ryan 3:47 PM [+] ::

"You do it to yourself, you do. And thats what really hurts.
You do it to yourself, just you. You and no one else.
You do it to yourself."
.....

:: the wease 10:53 PM [+] ::

ok, so i saved a post, but i think it disappeared. anyway, i was just making excuses for why i can't keep up. Excuse # only - my internet hasnt been working. It's killin me smalls.
.....

:: Ryan 1:17 AM [+] ::

i wasnt mad, i actually did it as a joke to see if i could get a rise out of the blog members (to no avail), but i do like how you didn't refer to me by name on your blog. Your link is back. I guess blogger messed up for a while on our site at the same time it was messing up on yours.

On another note, i have a new car. a new old car. ask me about it. it comes with a story.
.....

:: David 5:32 PM [+] ::

I know I read the blog between the 15th and the 20th because I saw the Alisa quote but not the link post. If you're paying attention to this post, you can see it's on the 25th. I guess that would mean I read it ever five days. Just enough to keep up, and just enough to be ineffective in posting.

Next week: Why unicorns and mafia don't mix.
.....

:: Ryan 8:22 PM [+] ::

It seems Connie removed our link from her site. Who knows if it was done purposefully, but I took the appropriate actions. I think its funny that not only does no one read this blog anymore, but you three dont either.
.....

:: Ryan 3:09 PM [+] ::

Alisa: "The blogs don't write themselves".
.....

:: the wease 3:27 AM [+] ::

That's true. And if anybody actually found out about 2 hours of dead air, we could say some bullshit like it's a protest against the war. I don't know what war, but there's bound to be people killing people somewhere.
.....

:: David 5:53 PM [+] ::

I'd be willing to bet that if you just took up a two hour block of airtime and left it blank, no one would notice.
.....

:: Ryan 12:00 AM [+] ::

nothing.

Its a show

about nothing.
.....

:: the wease 4:37 PM [+] ::

EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE

I come to you good people now in my hour of need. Actually, I'm simply too lazy to think of ideas on my own, so I want to steal yours. It's like this - I can get a radio show on KPNI, SMU's ghetto no programming, no range, 5 watt radio station that plays in the student center and on the tv station. However, I don't have an idea for a show. Hence, I ask this question:

What should my radio show (feat. roommate Tim) be about?

And now I need to vent about a few things:
1. My apartment is really hot
2. In my 8AM required class we are learning html. I already know it, and HOW WILL MAKING A HYPERLINK PREPARE ME TO BE A JOURNALIST??
3. Everytime I go into the create-a-post screen it's slightly different. When will the blogger gods make up their minds on an interface? That's all i ask.
.....

:: Heath 10:53 AM [+] ::

Hey...SORRY for the loooong delay. My room doesn't have internet yet because the incompetent bastards at this school don't know how to allocate the extra 200 dollars they charged in tuition this semester. They didn't figure that with more students this year there wouldn't be enough bandwith. So i'm stuck with no internet unless i go to the lab. I'll be back in no time i'm sure. Go ahead and post someone and i'll do a better job of keeping tabs on this thing till my internet begins to come alive.
.....

:: the wease 11:39 AM [+] ::

Any of you seen a fellow by the name of Heath? About yay high, no hair, teeth, probably giggling like a girl.
.....

:: Ryan 3:38 AM [+] ::

i will be gone for the next four days, but im sure all i will miss will be silence. have fun.


.....

:: the wease 12:53 AM [+] ::

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?
.....

:: David 10:11 PM [+] ::

My internet has been on the fritz the last couple of days, but luckily it looks like I'm not the last one to post.

1) Parking. In probably what is the most densly packed campus in the nation, they have very little parking, and certainly none of it is free. In a time when we need more parking on campus, they recently closed off a big parking lot to build a museum. Did I mention that this new museum is across the street from, you guessed it, a museum?

2) Housing is at a premium. I paid more to live in Jester East, the ghetto of UT housing, than they pay at A&M to live in the plush modular dorms.

3) Chris Simms, but he's gone now.

4) Flat rate tuition. This university knows how their students work, and that is that they take as few hours as possible as soon as possible. So what does the university do in the largest colleges on campus? Flat rate tuition. It costs as much to take 12 hours as it does to take 15. Nobody takes 15 for the most part if they don't have to. All of the upperclassmen are lazy and take 12 or 13 if at all possible. And with deregulation about to take effect, the tuition certainly won't be going down. Luckily, we're not getting screwed like Weasel.

5) In a national survey, UT was found to have the worst food among college campuses. This must be true because I can't imagine it getting any worse.
.....

:: Ryan 8:54 PM [+] ::

1. not letting me off campus because.....who knows why.
2. everything is about money
3. nazi-lecture-only prof's
4. prof's that take attendance
5. hiring the most inconsiderate, cold hearted, elderly men and women to teach classes they know nothing about and dont mind failing 3/4 of the class as long as they still get the paycheck.
.....

:: the wease 12:12 AM [+] ::

1. Tuition
2. Fees
3. Tuition & Fees
4. Fees & Tuition
5. Mustang Football
.....

:: Heath 5:58 PM [+] ::

Well i posted earlier but it didn't take...

So here's my list again: Top five ways your school takes advantage of you financially, academically, etc.

go
.....

:: David 1:25 AM [+] ::

I'm way past late on this. It's been a long week with too much to do. I'm glad to see you all had fun in Ruston, and that my name was there to sling around as a petty insult. It's like I was really there. I'm just going to do this quick and dirty because I'm tired.

Batman - Weasel said it all.
Doug - Because I always identified with him back in the day.
Duffman - What other "superhero" can thrust in the direction of the problem?
Homer - He's kind of like Jesus, but not in a sacreligious way.
Papa Smurf - I've got to give props to him because you know that all the smurfs called him Big Poppa and we just never got to see it (especially, but especially, that botch smurfette).

My apartment has the chance to be B-A-double L-er, but right now it just looks kind of bland. I need to get more stuff up on the walls or some more furniture-esque type things, but since school is about to start I don't see it happening in the near future. It'll have to remain par for the course for the time being.

Heath's up.
.....

:: Ryan 12:50 AM [+] ::

tony montana

or

tan'e manta'ya

you can refer to me as either from now on, and once i remember how to change my posting name to the aforementioned name, consider it done.
.....

:: Heath 6:08 PM [+] ::

Haha...

Yeah that was basically the day in Ruston in a nutshell. And just trust us on this one...everything was hilarious in person.
.....

:: the wease 2:27 PM [+] ::

"Say hello to my little friend"
"Neither do I..."
"The Barren Wasteland of Relationships"

W: I'm leaving after this hand.
H: Alright, David.
W: Shutup. I've been here twice as long as you, hypocritical bastard.
H: You're just going to play video games.
R: There's time for a game of spades....
W: I told you I'm leaving.
R:...or Risk.
W: Let's do this.

(2 1/2 hours later)
W: Bye guys.

.....

:: the wease 2:22 PM [+] ::

Until I get internet at the apt., you guys can keep going with the lists. I won't be able to keep up, and I don't want you to wait for me.

Batman is better than Superman. Sure, Superman would win in a fight, but that's because he has the power to do anything. Come on. Batman has done way more with way less. Superman is a total jackass for ever losing a fight. If Batman had even 1/2 the super powers of Superman, he would destroy him. And let's not forget that Superman gave Batman a Kryptonite ring, in case Superman ever turned evil and had to be taken down. So actually, Batman would kick Superman's ass in a fight without any superpowers. Plus, Batman is a womanizer.

yeah barf so yeah
.....

:: Heath 9:53 AM [+] ::

"So yeah David is gone but yeah seeing him again reminds me why a long distance relationship is worth it. Yeah the time when you are apart blows but when you DO finally get to see each other, you are just so happy and all you want to do is just hold each other and look at each other."

(barf)
.....

:: Heath 9:44 AM [+] ::

1. Superman-He's the man of steel and can only be harmed with kryptonite or when ya catch him in the shade. Batman sucks. In reality, one punch from Superman would take Batman out. Yes he has cool gadgets, but the intangibles lie with Superman.
2. Roger Rabbit-To be able to save ToonTown while still maintaining a sense of humor AND holding onto Jessica Rabbit....that's amazing.
3. Thundercats-All of them...Lionel was the best but all of them together formed an unbeatable arrangement.
4. Aladdin-He saved all of Agraba from Jaffar not once, but twice if u could the sequel "Return of Jaffar". He had his trusty sidekicks in Abu, Genie, and the carpet. And he had his fine galpal in Jasmine. Sounds like a hero to me.
5. Spiderman-He's just cool.
.....

:: Ryan 4:45 PM [+] ::

1. cartman
2. calvin n hobbes - they are super heros, have you read any of them? thats all they do.
3. garfield - am i less of a man because i felt compassion for odie with all of the bad things garfield did.
4. ive never been big into animated things. never a big superman/batman fan at all
5. so, i am less equiped to answer this list, sorry fellas.
.....

:: the wease 2:30 PM [+] ::

Chewy, I can still sit around and do nothing without coincidence. You could too, but you're too afraid to try. While Heath and Ryan play NCAA, I'm going to post my list.

Cartoon Heroes-

1. Batman - Even though I've probably watched and read more Superman stuff, Batman is a lot cooler than Superman. He's a rich, womanizing industrialist with all sorts of kick ass gadgets. And he fights crime without superpowers, and actually has weaknesses beyond a green rock. If he'd only ditch Robin and find a real partner.
2. Hobbes - From the Calvin and Hobbes comics. I can't think of why he is heroic, but I like him.
3. Gizmoduck - Someone at the BCM here in Ruston forgot my name and called me Gizmo, so that's why its on here. Gimme a break, we were up til 6.
4. Homer - He's always fighting the man, struggling to preserve the ideals of laziness and senseless rage, and he's funny. So there ya go.
5. Stewie - He's the baby from Family Guy bent on world domination, a child after my own heart.

not up to standards. I'll get back with it some time.

-The Barren Wasteland of Relationships
.....

:: David 7:59 PM [+] ::

Since Weasel has effectively detered any of us from really posting on the blog for this list, much like he deters women of all shapes and sizes (thereby supporting my 3rd item from the previous list), I'll post something. It's my turn, anyway. A life lesson we've learned from this last list is that lists centered around one specific person = death. I went back and read a bunch of the entries from the beginning of the blog, and now it's just got me thinking about cartoons. I like cartoons. I miss cartoons. I wish I were 5 again so I could really mindlessly sit down and watch cartoons. With that in mind, I'm going to revert back 1 and a half decades and say the new this is the top 5 cartoon/comic heroes. This can range from animated Disney movies (heroes such as Aladdin, Simba, Peter Pan, etc.), comic books and comic-based cartoons with your favorite superheroes (I had Weasel specifically in mind for this one), or even the average Joes from the animated or comic genre that might not be considered the "classic" hero, but could be seen as one (Doug, Dick Tracy, various characters from The Simpsons, Mickey Mouse, Popeye, etc.).

Good ol' cartoons. They remind us all of a better time when we could sit around and do nothing without consequence.
.....

:: Ryan 12:58 PM [+] ::

top 1 way to kill a blog where its standing:

1. see below
.....

:: the wease 1:41 AM [+] ::

Excuse the pun...

1) That's
2) Her
3) Job
.....

:: David 1:39 AM [+] ::

1) Blow
2) Me
3) Weasel

And let's not forget that one of us has a girl, and the other has Milton Bradley.
.....

:: the wease 1:36 AM [+] ::

"That's because I'm quite fond my balls being attatched to the rest of my body, as they currently have been for some time."

Bullshit. When you said "Besides, there aren't things I hate about Connie, " you proved that your balls have in fact been removed once again. Oh, you kid with her. LOOK OUT CONNIE! You don't want to be kidded.

She has to annoy you somehow, someway. If you're too scared to post it, that's fine. But don't try to pretend your balls are anywhere other than College Station.
.....

:: David 1:27 AM [+] ::

Alright, here we go, top 5 things I hate about Connie:

1) Weasel's a prick.
2) He's always trying to get me in trouble.
3) He always talks about how much he can't wait to make out with Connie by either: a) Having her cheat on me or b) Getting her to dump me. In reality, girls find Weasel highly avoidable in the romantic sense, perhaps because of apptitude for doing prickish things.
4) His fondest hobby and, in all likelihood, most serious romantic relationship to date is with Axis and Allies.
5) He doesn't like it when I call him "Birthday Buddy".

I hope everyone caught my subtle hints that my list does not, in fact, mention Connie. That's because I'm quite fond my balls being attatched to the rest of my body, as they currently have been for some time. Besides, there aren't things I hate about Connie. There are things that I kid with her about...like her sink (come on, Connie, you know what I'm talking about)...but I don't hate anything. Just like I don't really hate anything about Weasel.
.....

:: the wease 1:00 AM [+] ::

Ok, here's a list some of you have been expecting. I just hope you back me up on it. Top 5 things you hate about Connie. Go. (I'm posting last, but I call "whore")
.....

:: Ryan 1:59 AM [+] ::

wow, thanks for the superb posting times, fellas. I will continue the speedy posts....

1. make contact - most say eye contact, but i think if a girl you are getting to know does things like touch your arm while talking, or start hugging you at the end of nights, etc etc., its a good sign.


2. being a waiter, i walk past other waiters all the time, and some just walk past, and others will smile as we pass, and i will smile back. when you see someone, and just smile, no words or anything, just smile, i like that. So much is said without saying a word.


3. hanging out together - so often things begin with hangin out in groups, but it is much different when you break out and just hang out the two of you, and that is a huge step. If she didnt want anything to do with you, she would "wash her hair" 5 times a day, but if she makes the effort to hang out with you on a one on one basis more than just every once in a while, its a good sign.


4. get (as my roommate says) G'd out whenever yall hang out - G'd out means get real dressed up, like if you are about to go out on your first date with a girl, you would wear some nice clothes, smell good, etc. If she goes all out whenever she knows she will see you, and you notice this, another big plus.


5. something i really like is if a girl will grab your arm and let you escort her while walking a short distance. Its not as far as holding hands, but almost the same thing. I dont know. all these ideas are sounding as corney as can be, prolly cause i am writing them, and not saying them, but its ok, its 2 am, and i could really care less.


6. joke about being together - could be good or bad, or sometimes misleading, but its always fun when alisa IM's me and we discuss how we should get married. by the way, i would bear Alisa's children.

i think wease is up next, lets see if we can keep up this pace, i like it.
.....

:: Heath 9:02 PM [+] ::

Top Five Ways a Girl can Flirt...

1.) Say something along the lines of, "Yeah i used to have a huge crush on you." This is fairly obvious because why would she be bring this up if she didn't still have a bit of a crush on you? Think about it...if she didn't have current feelings for you, that statement would more than likely create awkwardness. So by saying that line, a girl leaves things wide open for the guy to chime in and say, "Really? I had a major crush on you too. Let's go out."

2.) She can walk back into your place of work...we'll say blockbuster in this instance...after she just finished walking out of the building after her purchase. When she approaches you, she gives you her number on a slip of paper and says, "Hey, just wanna let you know i'd really like to hang out with you sometime." Chewy, if you couldn't pick up on that...you're hopeless.

3.) After talking with you for a while, she says something along the lines of, "My parents are out of town and have this great collection of movies in their bedroom, if you wanna go take a look with me." Something like this never happens in the real world...but a guy can dream, can't he?

4.) If you're both at a party or get-together, she can stare at you the entire night and make it obvious she's interested. When you finally get the courage to talk to her, she says, "I've had a little too much to drink...would u mind driving me home?" You, without a doubt, say yes...knowing full well the only thing she was drinking all night was coke. PS..only give her a ride home if u find her attractive. If you don't, when she asks for a ride due to her over-consumption, point out how all she's been drinking is coke and that she needs to get a better pick-up line.

5.) She pinches your butt and says, "I wanna make out with you." Again, if she's hot...u accept. If she isn't, then tell her to never talk to you again, unless she becomes more attractive.
.....

:: David 5:05 PM [+] ::

As several people out there in Blogville are aware, I'm not one who picks up hints easily. Or at all. So if you're going to flirt with me, I'm usually not very receptive because I just don't know you're flirting. Coincidentally, I'm also not good at flirting in general, so it takes patience, which is why I'm surprised that Connie stayed with it and finished. Anyway, here are 5 sure-fire ways that a girl can let you, or even me, know that she digs you.

1) Lay down an obvious, obvious, pick up line. I'm not talking like "So what did you think of that quiz?" or "What did you do this weekend?" I'm talking about "Are those moon pants?" or the oh so subtle "I think you're great. I've got feelings for you. Let's go do something." I'd say that makes things fairly out in the open. It'd be hard to miss those.*

2) There's flirting, and then there's shameless flirting. When she is "so scared" during movie previews...yes, previews...that she liberally grabs your shoulder/arm/hand, then chances are she's moving in. This happened to me. It took me 15 minutes to catch on, and another 15 to do anything about it. Don't worry, ladies, other guys move faster than I do.

3) If you wake up and there's a bra on your face with a name and telephone number written on it, but you didn't go to bed with a girl nor did you wake up with one, I think that'd be a fairly strong indication that you've got an admirer (and a stalker).

4) If a girl asks you to help her out with some school work, and you meet up with her and she knows the material better than the person who wrote your textbook, then chances are that she doesn't care about the studying too much.

5) She tattoos your name to her forehead. Backwards. With a heart around it.

5a) Hit you over the head with a hammer and chain you up in her basement.

* If a girl were using the moon pants line, it'd be best to change it so that the punchline had something to do with a rocket.
.....

:: the wease 1:28 AM [+] ::

I know nothing about women. I don't get women. I don't "get" women, either. And they aren't to be trusted. I never know what's going on.

Ways a Girl Can Flirt

1. DO ANYTHING - Yes, that's right. Anything. Whatever a girl does, I probably think she's somehow flirting with me. Don't believe me? When the girl in the drive-thru makes smalltalk with me at 1am, I think that I should date her. When the bank teller uses my name during the transaction, I think, "I've still got it." When I make eye contact with a girl, I call that our first date.

Welcome to Delusionville. Population - Me.
.....

:: Ryan 1:13 AM [+] ::

now that we have 4 entries....

top 5 things a girl can do to effectively flirt, or get across to you that she has feelings for you.

123go
.....

:: the wease 12:59 AM [+] ::

I've been busy, but really I could have made time to post. I need to priorotize, and make room for the things that matter. Like posting deep dark secrets on the internet for all to read.

Ways to Make People Talk

1. Fried Gangrene Tomatoes - Use wire to cut off circulation to certain appendages, starting with a few fingers. After a few days, do things like crush them with a hammer or place cinder blocks on them. Keep tying off more appendages, let the infection spread etc etc. Promise them medical treatment if they talk.
2. The Fiery Gaze - Unless you can dig up some relatives or friends, you've only got 2 chances at this one. Gouge out one of their eyes - leave the other in so they can watch. Maybe smash their eye, or feed it to them or something. Then, get a metal ball and heat it til its red-hot. Put it in their eye socket. Repeat.
3. Tank You Very Much - Leave them in a tank full of salt water. They'll be cold, hungry, thirsty, and stewing in their own feces after a few days. And make it so they have to hold onto a bar to stay above the water line.
4. The Sound of Silence - This one's simple. Leave them in a sensory deprivation tank until they talk. If it's taking too long, just use a torture from above.
5. Queen of the Harpies - Chewy, here's the torture you told me to put on here, and since I'm out of ideas it might as well be my #5: Make them talk to Connie for 10 minutes.

So this is what it's like to post. Fascinating.
.....

:: David 7:14 PM [+] ::

I'm doing my best to come up with good stuff. Let's see what I can churn out.

1) I like this one. It's more horrible than you might think simply because it would be mentally and physically exhausting. Assuming our informant-to-be is a normal sized adult, get a metal box. The dimensions are in question just because I've never done this before, but let's say it's 4.5 feet tall and 2 feet wide. The real point is that the box isn't big enough to stand in or sit in, only big enough to allow for crouching. Now the real kicker of this personal hot box is that by touching a second side (remember, they're already touching one with their feet on the bottom), they "bridge the circuit" so to speak. A shock runs through them. I don't really know how much, that would take some tweaking, but it would be...uncomfortable. The longer they go without telling me what I want to know, the longer they get to crouch in the box. I hope you've got strong legs.

2) You'll need a miniature wood chipper for this one. This classically involves digit removal, but patiently. If at first Mr. Informant doesn't want to talk, run his finger through the mini-chipper, but only down to highest joint on the finger. So, now he's missing one-third of a finger. Take off a third at a time until you get to know what you want to know. That gives them 28 chances (the thumbs only have 2 segments a piece) to spill their conscience out to you. I wouldn't expect them to lose all of their fingers because after you remove each segment, you cauterize the wound. After all, we wouldn't want them to pass out from blood loss. If you don't know what cauterizing is, it's where you burn the opening with something extraordinarily hot in order to close the wound. Two words: Yip. Eee.

3) For those Informants with longer hair (or at least hair that's long enough), there's a fun little thing that can be tried. Human hair is actually very strong, and a full head of good hair can actually hold a very good amount of weight. Easily as much weight as a human body. String 'em up by their hair with their wrists tied behind their body for hours at a time. If the hair didn't pull out eventually, and painfully, I guess I would expect the skin on the scalp to stretch out to it's capacity and lose most of it's elasticity, leaving one loose headed person. If they have an iron will, you can add 5-10 pounds every few hours.

4) Have you ever had a live mouse in your stomach, struggling and clawing and biting as it dies in your pH-unfriendly gastric juices? Neither have I, but I'd be willing to be it isn't much fun. Of course, to get it down there it would have to be physically shoved all the way down your throat with a long rod, kind of like packing an olden day black-powder gun. I'd bet that's not much fun, either. One things for sure, though. That mouse would tear up all the tissue between your tonsils and your pyloric sphincter. But don't worry, by the time it gets into the small intestine, it's probably already dead. The only problem with this one is that there's the possibility that you'll render them mute because the animal might shred their vocal cords, so make sure you've got a pad of paper and a pen handy just in case. Repeat as necessary with animals getting larger in size each time. Rats, baby possums, squirrels...

5) If you freeze someone's foot/hand/arm/leg/special no-no zone/any other appendage with lots of liquid nitrogen, and then immediately pour hot water on it, I'm pretty sure that one of two things could happen: 1) The appendage thaws with great pain (if the nerves aren't dead). Imagine running around outside naked in sub-zero weather for 5-10 minutes, then running inside and jumping in a really hot shower...times 100. 2) The appendage explodes. Ok, maybe explodes is an exaggeration. Maybe. But I'm not so sure. A piece of ice will crack when you put it in room-tempreture water. If you're pouring 80 degree celsius (about 170 degrees fahrenheit) on an appendage that's colder than simple ice, the energy produced would be much more staggering. The water actually might need to be hotter than that, but you could just guess and check on your informant until you got the equation right. And you've got to admit, it'd be pretty cool to see a foot explode.

6) For the lightweights that would just give it up without a lot of coercion: A shave...from a blind man...with tremors.

7) For the heavyweights who won't give it up: Do all of the above things to various family members all at the same time with your champion informant watching. The 5 or 6 separate cries of anguish should be enough to mentally scar and break even the toughest person.
.....

:: Heath 5:57 PM [+] ::

Hmmm torture you say?...i think i can do this

1.) If the guy you're torturing doesn't wanna give up the information, put him in a dress and take him to the nearest prison. Tell him if he doesn't talk you throw him in the cell block with the biggest, roughest black guys. And also, tell him they haven't seen a woman for three years.
2.) Paper cuts...all over the body. In the creases of their lips, the webbing of their fingers, nipples, and any other cracks/crevices/creases that would be painful with a tiny cut.
3.) I think this would be painful...if they don't talk, tell them to life their arms up as if doing the wave at a baseball game. As they continue their silence, begin to slowly pull their arms farther and farther back, all the while keeping them straight. The sounds of their shoulders popping out of socket should ease them into conversation.
4.) I saw this in 2fast2furious recently...and don't laugh. It was better than the first one. Anyways, lay your victim down on a flat surface. Next get a metal bucket and a rat. Put the rat on your informants stomach and place the bucket over it. Then, grab the blowtorch you had lying conveniantly beside you. Begin to heat the metal bucket with the blowtorch, while firmly holding the bucket down. The rat, discovering there is no escape from the heat through the bucket, will begin to dig for another way out. Yes that's right...the rat begins to dig through the soft flesh of your human informant. It's sick...but it works.
5.) Take an aluminum bat to their kneecaps. You could add a railroad spike and use the bat as a hammer...if you wanted to.
6.) Cover the guy's body with raw meat. Then, hang him upside down with a crane over a den of lions. Lower him slowly until he decides to talk.
7.) Get a really rusty hand-saw from your garage. Tie the guy's body to a chair and just go to town on his appendages until he talks. Because the saw is old and rusty, it'll make the process even more painful for him.


I could go on..but i think i'll leave it at that.
.....

:: Ryan 12:44 PM [+] ::

today is my day off
here is your list

- i know this great way to make a bomb, heath knows this as well. i would make one, and then duct tape to whoever is going to be talking. It makes this ticking noise right before its about to blow, and if that didnt get them...Its loud as can be, and it shatters into many many pieces. it wouldnt kill them, but they wouldnt be able to hear, and they would have unbelievable pain im sure, and then we would repeat the process.

- have you ever been run over by a car? well, i ran over my mom once when i was like 5, and she said it hurt like heck, and it broke her arm. that being said, i would have someone tied between two trees, or other large objects, to where they could about 3 feet in either direction, and just start slowly approaching them with the car. im sure their strong will would get them far into the ordeal, where the car would be pressed against their body, and the three feet of slack would be taken out, and now it is just a human streching machine. I guess it would have to be an SUV, or van, so they dont just go over the hood. If all else fails, just floor it from 20 feet away and smash the crap out of them.

- cut off their fingers, one by one, asking them to talk in between....and feeding them their own fingers as you cut them. I know after I had about 4 fingers in my mouth, i would spill.

- lets say a group of people did something to a certatin someone. have a mutual friend go and get one of them, and just start driving. he will soon realize that he is being driven to the house of the individual he just harmed. He will either spill prior to getting to the house, or get the crap kicked out of him once he gets there. sound familiar? sorry crackers, im still bitter. Next time pick folks that dont spill, namely me, because a prank isnt good unless the ones who commit it arent found out.

- novacane to many different parts of the body, such as the no-no-special-place, arms, legs, stomach. if after the no no spot shot, they dont talk (they would be more of a man than i would), beat them with a hammer/baseball bat/other large object. they wouldnt feel it, but they would see their body turning black and blue, and soon, the stuff would wear off, and the sudden pain would be unbearable. plus, you get to beat someone for a good hour while watching their body turn colors bodies arent supposed to turn.

thank you, someone else post, slackers
.....

:: David 11:38 PM [+] ::

Mormors ran along the valleys like the banchee's lonely croon, and a thousand pikes were flashing BY the RISing of the moon. BY the RISing of the moon, BY the RISing of the moon. And a thousand pikes were flashing BY the RISing of the moon.

At least some of you get that. At least one, I'm sure of it.
.....

:: David 3:13 PM [+] ::

Ok, I guess I've thought of something. Weasel's twisted mind should enjoy it well enough, he'll have to do something thinking, but I'm sure we'll see some wonderful things come out of his list. Top 5 ways to get information out of someone. I'm talking torture, gentlemen. Be creative, though. Remember: torture doesn't always have to be physically painful. Try to be original, that is to say, don't fall back on the classics. Sure, we all think bamboo chutes through the fingernails, Chinese water torture, and testicular zapping work really well, but those have been done. Feel free to incorporate them somehow if you feel like it, though.

Like I said, I expect Weasel to shine on this list. He's been thinking about doing this kind of stuff to his enemies since he was 7. Heath, you should do well, too. You're pretty sick.
.....

:: Heath 2:55 PM [+] ::

Who's up next?
.....

:: Heath 2:54 PM [+] ::

-Chewy: His head is too big...literally. But he is goin out with mrs. surething, so he can't be all that bad. :)
-Weas: Same thing Chewy said about him. I'd hate to have a curfew and Nazi parents like he has. My I were in his place, the parents would have probably been found in the backyard by now.
-Ryan: Because i'd hate to have to make up excuses as to why i lose to Heath in NCAA football.
-Monte from up at school: He tore his ACL. I never want something like that to happen to me.
-Connie: because she gets upset too easily...like she did when i referred to her as mrs. surething. Ya know i'm kidding connie
.....

:: Ryan 1:33 PM [+] ::

• David - when heath gets in the mood to rant on him


• Me - when it comes to going to class, or getting out of school in under 15 years


• Heath - when he realizes he can't beat me with anyone but K State in NCAA


• Connie - who works to go at olive garden, and is slightly.....big bodied....and is slow as get out. not just slow like most large people are, i mean takes her sweet damn time to do everything, including walking. If she has to go from one side of the kitchen to the other thru the alley that isnt that big, not only does she take up the whole damn isle, but she takes about one step every three seconds. She even talks slow. Whenever she is not around, EVERYONE talks of her, and its sad, but extreamly funny at the same time.


• beats me - another gimp list from me.

.....

:: the wease 7:16 PM [+] ::

I'm having trouble with this list, but I'll give it the old college try:

People I Don't Want to Be

1) Tim (my roommate) - Even though he's got a woman and I don't, I wouldn't want to be him. He's struggling through school, and if he doesn't make some good grades he won't get into his major and will fail out. Too much pressure, and he's going to have to study.
2) Chewy, for obvious reasons.
3) Bob Hope - he's like dead and stuff
4) Tanner Boyd - this is based on one very important assumption. Chewy, can you verify this? I believe Tanner only has one ball.
5) A stupid person - there are too many of them to single any one out, but I couldn't stand being stupid. I'm already lazy. I can't afford stupidity.
.....

:: David 4:22 PM [+] ::

When making a list such as this, one must consider many factors and how much they mean to you. Weight, intelligence, position in life, and likeability are all very important things to consider. That having been said, I just picked 5 people off the top of my head.

1) Tanner Boyd - Welcome to a world of pain. Tanner likes to punish himself by being not only an electrical engineering major (notoriously the most difficult engineering discipline at UT), but is also a pre-med and works as an EMT. To top it off, he's a Hellraiser (for those of you who don't know who the Hellraisers are, they're the guys at UT football games who paint their faces and chests and scream obscenities for the duration of the game, especially when the other school's band is on the field. They're extremely obnoxious, and I haven't met anyone who really likes them as a group all that much...but to keep from getting beat up, I'll say that I'm sure they're a great bunch of guys...or something). Did I mention he's taking the MCAT this August? I'm glad I'm not him.

2) You. Yes, you. Don't play dumb.

3) At this very moment, I wouldn't want to be Ryan. He's working a double today. Plus, I'm not exactly a big fan of Louisiana. No offense. Oh, and when he goes home, he's got to put up with Logan pissing his dad off all the time. I've been around that a couple of times, and let me just say that it isn't pretty.

4) Weasel. For a couple of reasons. First, his parents hate him. I mean, they must what with all the rules and stipulations they put on him...as if you were a 5 year old girl. Maybe they just wish he was a 5 year old girl. Either way, when someone is 20, they shouldn't have an 11:30 curfew. Second, he goes to a school where all of the girls are a) dancers or b) rich spoiled daddy's girls. On the level of incredibly stupid things that get uttered around that campus, I'm surprised Weasel hasn't either shot someone else or himself. However, there is a redeeming side to this otherwise horrible fate. That is that dancers are flexible and the girls are RICH (notice the key word). As an added bonus, the varitable living atm machine that is SMU apparently also houses some of the loosest crackwhores this side of Mississippi. I'm sure that that at least makes things almost tolerable for Weas.

5) If you'll notice, I've listed two of the other 3 bloggers for this page. I'm not going to list Heath because he has the luck of a teenage girl and, for some strange reason, women seem to flock to him like sand to a butt crack. So really, there's no viable reason why I could list him. So instead, I'll have to say my genetics prof, Dr. Pierson. He is in his early 50's, has lost a good amount of his hair, looks somewhat grizzled most of the time, took something just shy of two decades to complete his doctorate in biology, raised a couple of small chickens in his apartment, and (go figure) isn't married. He's a real nice guy, though. I say that as if it mattered.

I forgot. Weasel's also in Lubbock right now. Just one more reason why I wouldn't want to be him.

I thought I was going to be disappointed with my list, but after having made it, I'm fairly content with it. It'll do.
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:: David 3:55 PM [+] ::

I'm not sure, but I think she means applesauce. I guess she's been hungry or something.
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:: Heath 5:07 PM [+] ::

Side note...

Chewy, according to Connie's blog, ya'lls relationship deserves a round of "applase". Not sure if she meant applesauce or applause or some word i've never heard of. But congrats.
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:: David 12:58 AM [+] ::

Geez, Weasel, you need to pay some attention here. Heath and I switched spots last time because he had a list ready and he didn't want to forget it. Now you just jumped the gun and forced him to go early. Shame on you, and your injust lack of patience.
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:: Heath 12:29 AM [+] ::

Well i thought Chewy was gonna post one...BUT, if you insist on me i'm gonna make it hurt...

So, the new list is...

Top 5 people you know personally that you would hate to be...for any reason
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:: the wease 2:56 PM [+] ::

Heath, list, now
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:: the wease 3:54 PM [+] ::

Now we can move this board along, get this ugly list behind us. I'm a very angry person, but it's hard to remember specifics. Let's try it anyway....

1) Ben Palatiere and Cody Robinson always picked on my in 6th grade English. I wanted to kick their asses, but I weighed about 42 lbs back then.
2) Freshman year I was on a religious message board kick...I even suckered Ryan and Heath into a few posts before it died. But there were some people, and some things that were said that were so illogical, incoherent, and hate-filled that I literally would jump up from the computer in a fit of rage and pace around the room until it subsided.
3) My brother and I used to fight all the time. So...all those times we were beating each other up I wanted to beat him up.
4) Let's go ahead and put losing on here, even though the only person I'm mad at then is myself.
5) I got into a fight with my neighbor, Matt Taylor, years ago. I don't remember why, but I do remember his older brother coming over to back him up. That's when I suddenly heard my mother calling.

I was an angry little bastard. Ryan, I'm addicted to NCAA football 04. I've played through almost 3 seasons in 2 weeks. I know and care nothing about football, but my fake dynasty team is very important to me. (The Suburbans from Spring)

Who's got next?
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:: Ryan 1:49 AM [+] ::

explain "NCAA addict", wease ?
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:: Heath 1:16 AM [+] ::

Hmm David seems upset...here's my list, dedicated to the three of you....minus Chewy.

1.) People at blockbuster: In general. Especially the ones where i'll scan their movies, hit the total button, ask for their money, and they'll see that they don't have enough...making my life more difficult and the others waiting in line. I must then void the movies they don't want, give them a dirty look, and say, "Have a nice day," in my most unsincere voice.
2.) People that cut me off on the road: I just hope they like the finger.
3.) People that use characters such as $%*& instead of real curse words.
4.) When people call up to work to ask for another store's number...and right as i start giving it they say, "Wait let me get a pen." Why can't you *#$%@^ just be ready when u call me.
5.) Stupid hoes
6.) Confused hoes.
7.) Parents that bring their kids to the store, knowing full well the child wreaks of fecal matter.
8.) Losing...at anything.
9.) People who say they're retired from certain video games because they're too lazy to improve.
10.) People who lie.
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:: David 9:52 PM [+] ::

Is anyone other than Ryan and me going to post here? Let's get some &*#^ing posts up so we can move this $#&*ing thing the @^&* along before I have a *@#$^#$%*@ aneurism. *&@%$^ *&#@ &^$%@&!* **@#^$*&# ^%@ *&#$^@.
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:: Ryan 8:09 PM [+] ::

I dont get mad often, so this was difficult, thus my delay, but lets not look backwards, lets look forward.


1. stupid drivers - more specificly, those who use the left lane for slowing me down, rather than passing.


2. The people last night at olive garden who ordered an appitizer, ate it. ordered wine, and drank it, ordered food, then picked up and walked out before they got it....and before paying...and before leaving a tip.


3. Chris Welch, after what he did over Christmas break my senior year. I dont even know if any of you know about this one. I would have broke his gay @#$ in half.

Im gonna post this for now, just to get a post out there, but its all i can think of for now. more to come, maybe.
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:: the wease 2:20 PM [+] ::

"-People who pick on people maliciously with no other intent than to make the kid's life hell and entertain themselves. "

Ouch, Chewy. That hurts.
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:: David 12:46 AM [+] ::

This is going to be short, sweet, and crappy (and, since I accidentally closed the window while I was typing this the first time, revised):

-People who like to talk loudly and say stupid things (BJ Schaffer immediately comes to mind).
-People who say "dude" or "like" 30 times in a sentence. See above. It's as if they're trying to create an extended simile. Like, dude, you know what I mean?
-Stupid drivers who do dangerous things because they're stupid.
-Old people who drive 20 mph slower than the limit.
-People who pick on people maliciously with no other intent than to make the kid's life hell and entertain themselves.

Fin.
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:: the wease 4:27 PM [+] ::

Ok, here's a violent, malicious list to relieve the insatiable rage that boils up inside all of us....growing stronger and stronger with each passing day.....having no outlet....eating you away from the inside until the inevitable day you snap and rip out the still-beating heart of the person standing next to you.

Top 5 times you've wanted to beat up or kill or hurt someone physically. (or for the women out there, emotionally) GO!
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:: Ryan 9:26 PM [+] ::

First off, it has been custom for whoever posts the list to post theirs last, so i have been checking up each day, and geuss who was keeping me from posting. He posted yesterday, and i worked a lock in from 6 pm til 7 am this morning, and now you will get my list, so clam up.

worst on the job moments

1. We'll start with the lube, and say although the pay was great, i wasted many a year there. I went through 7 managers in 5 years. Some of my favorite memories include every 5th customer who said "30 dollars!?!?!? last time i came in here it was $15!?!?!?!?", at which point i informed them that they were an idiot, and i had been working here for five years, and it had been the same price for all 5 of them. Even better was the guy who someone forgot to put a sticker in his car, so he decided to pull back around, into the bay going about 30 miles an hour as i was walking across it. My manager jumped in front of the car screaming at him to stop, and once he did, with a surprised look on his face, as if he didnt know he was flying through, my manager went up to the door, opened it, said "dont you ever do that *&$% again, now keep on drivin and get the @$!% outta here." i was still standing in the same spot that i was whenever the whole thing began. Maybe my most favorite lube story was when i was an AGM under Steve, and a Midget couple brought in their mini-van. Everything was fine until I went to cash them out, with Steve working at the desk behind me, and Mrs. Midget paid with a check, and I asked for her drivers license number. She refused, saying we didnt have it posted anywhere that we needed it, at which point i showed her where it was posted. Then she said that she wouldnt give it out, because I would try to steal her identity, and I just laughed, trying to think how I could pull off being a 4 foot tall woman. after a few more minutes of similar banter, Steve just jumped up and started yelling, as he is prone to do with his short temper, saying in various ways that she just give her DL number and leave and never come back, and then ended a comment by calling her husband "little man". THe whole time I am wanting to crack up and instead I am trying to calm steve down, and end up ushering him out of the room, and eventually getting little-bit's DL#.


2. His Word - i could list things about certain customers who come in, or people that worked there, but instead, I will surpass everything I could ever put by telling this story. Back in the gap, every girl had the hots for JB, including JB's current significant other, Amber, and Nicole, a daughter of one of one of the employees, as well as being a part time employee herself. One night, they were all working, and Nicole and Amber were both taking their turns throwing game at him, when nicole went back into the back room at one point, and Amber saw her time to shine, and shine she did. So much so, that when Nicole came back out of the back room, she was so furious, that she yelled out "WHY DON'T YOU GET OFF HIS NUTS AND LEAVE". Thats right, on a busy weekend night, in the Christian Coffeeshop, and she yelled very loudly why dont you just get off his nuts and leave. That, ladies and gents, is the best.


3. Olive garden - there are several things that have happened, such as people leaving me no tip for their food taking to long to cook, as if i was back there taking so long to cook it, or people asking me what dressing we have, me naming off "ranch, italian, and honey dijon", then the customer asking for blue cheese, but none can compare to that last story, so I'll just end here.

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