:: The Super Smash Brothers ::

:: Monday, August 09, 2004 ::

:: the wease 7:08 PM [+] ::

THE END

I, Weasel, officially declare this blog closed. Thanks for the memories, guys.
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:: David 11:11 PM [+] ::

And now, the list goes to me. For this one, I've come up with a special tribute list to former group blogger Ryan (2002-2004). List the top 3 ways Ryan ACTUALLY wrecked Cynthia. Because, come on, driving through high water? Let's use our imaginations here, people. (For those of you that don't know, Cynthia was Ryan's silver Eclipse for about 5 years or so. It had a lot of history.)

In the words of the dearly departed, it's on like Donkey Kong.
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:: David 5:08 PM [+] ::

I'm going to make this kind of general, with a few simple rules just to keep it getting too involved.

1) Ryan must be the first to die because he's been alot better than the other three of us, so he doesn't deserve to have to watch any of his friends get the axe.
2) Weasel must go second because I don't want him to have the satisfaction of watching people die who he doesn't like. I only say this because that satisfaction would be of greater magnitude than that of the sorrow he would feel from watching his friends have to bite it.
3) DT has to kick it before Jenny because otherwise he'll be crying and screaming like a banchee if he has to watch Jenny get executed, and I'd prefer all of our last moments be as quiet and peaceful as possible.
4) Connie must go at the beginning and Heath at the end because if their temperments cross (as they have in the past), then I don't want anyone to have to live through it for the whole time. Connie's first because I don't think she'd handle watching all of these people die very well, so I'll save her the turmoil. Meanwhile, I think Heath could handle it just fine, and would probably have some sort of running dialogue in his head while it was all going on, so since he could stomach it all he gets to go towards the end.
5) If possible, the Bowden's and Corey must all go at the same time. If not at the same time, then back to back to back.
6) I have to go last, because if I'm the one picking this order, than no one other than me should have to go through watching every single person get it.

Within the guidelines of those six simple rules, the order could really be anything. I like this little system because it's nice and flexible. I'd also just like to say that this is a very very morbid list, and I didn't particularly enjoy writing it. No one likes to be reminded of their own mortality, as well as the mortality of the people they care about.
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:: Heath 9:29 AM [+] ::

Okay okay Jenny...

I'm altering my list and putting her last because anyone that beats DT in bowling deserves to die last out of all of us....including me.

Happy now Jenny?
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:: Heath 11:36 PM [+] ::

The order is quite easy to think of...i added a few people just to spice it up.

The real order we would die...
1. Weas-For blaming me for clogging his toilet when Tim said it happens all the time. Who would have thought a toilet would clog alot when its owner makes it a habit of flushing all his Q-tips down there.
2. DT-Anyone that loses to Jenny in bowling deserves to die next
3. Jenny-Anyone who doesn't realize how important it is for a man to beat his girlfriend in bowling deserves to die as well.
4. Corey- For just watching everyone bowl and not actually partaking in the fun.
5. Ryan- Like Weas said, for all of this quitting the blog talk. I'm appalled. But to his credit he did buy me dinner the other night, which is why he's not higher on the list. Plus i think he shares my love of XBox Tennis more than anyone else.
6. Chewy-He's not coming in last, just a middle-of-the-roader. If i were him i'd at least take pride in usually being the best loser.
7. Connie-After Chewy's gone, she wouldn't want to go on in life anyway. Kidding Connie...scroll to the bottom of the list.
8. Marjie-because she didn't hang out with us over spring break...given she didn't have the same break. But, it's the principle of the thing.
9. Kristen-Because she shares my dream of writing an award winning screenplay one day.
10. Myself-Did you really think i would put myself any higher? Plus i have the stomach to watch all my friends die.

*I wasn't really kidding in #7
.....

:: the wease 5:04 PM [+] ::

Well if I got to choose who would be in the room with me, I certainly wouldn't choose my friends. I'd pick some of my enemies to die with me. But I have a feeling that isn't in the spirit of the list, so I'll use you guys.

The order we would die

1. Heath - Heath would die first for clogging my toilet, and I would pull the trigger.
2. Me - Once I get my revenge I'll have no reason to stick around. This may change if anyone does something that makes me want to see them die.
3. Ryan - You'll go next for this blog quitting talk, and primarily for the reason stated below.
4. Chewy - You're last place in everything else. I can't rock the boat.
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:: Heath 1:21 AM [+] ::

Ryan quitting the blog would be heresy...we can't let that happen because most of the time the only reason i remember to post is because he gripes at me. So i'm gonna try to better about the posting thing. In the meantime, we need a list that's new and fresh...something that Ryan would feel he'd be missing out on if he didn't post in response to.

SOOOO....

Suppose you were held hostage in a room with five of your closest friends of your choosing. The man with a gun to your heads said you would all be killed, but in whatever order you decided. So you must come up with a list in order of which friends would be killed first to last, and why. Is there something about this person that they give to the world where they should stay alive longer than the others? Is there something you dislike about this person, jokingly or not, that would make you want them to be taken out first?

Give me the dang list...u too Ryan.
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:: David 9:27 PM [+] ::

Whoa there, Cowboy. Sorry if I happened to miss a sentence in reading things. People do that sometimes.
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:: Ryan 7:35 PM [+] ::

I am seeing the end of the blog for the up-teenth time...which brings me to this point

I QUIT THIS BLOG

Thanks
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:: David 7:07 PM [+] ::

The NCAA Tournament...sucks. The two teams I chose to go all the way were both eliminated in the second round, along with a myriad of other teams I selected to win games later on. As of right now, I'm pretty sure I can't even make it to 40 points. Sucks. Sucks bad.

On the bright side, I watched some of Joe Dirt today. Thank you, Brittany Daniel (aka Eric Foreman's cousin Penny (What is it about the name Penny, Heath?)). This brings me to my next point. There's all this talk about Julias changing out and being banished and whatnot, so, at the risk of sounding like a sex-monger, let's just kick it old school and post "the list." You know what I'm talking about. It's been a long time, so who knows what's changed and what hasn't. "The list," top 5. Go.
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:: the wease 10:23 PM [+] ::

Julia 2...gone? Get out! She left quicker than she got there. What happened, Ryan? As for my list, I'll have to take some time with it. I don't even remember everyone on my old list. But I do know that Tina Fey will stay, and Jessica Simpson is guaranteed a spot.....in my bed.....for always.

Go Duke!
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:: Ryan 8:58 PM [+] ::

What was i thinking. Julia 2 is off the list. She had a short lived stay. taking her place is.....

i dont know....i suppose i dont really need to know until the lists resurface. since its my turn, and i have no clue for a list, lets just revisit our lists from way back when, and update.

go


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:: Heath 4:11 AM [+] ::

Okay David...you see the time that i'm posting this and you'll realize why i was late getting up for lunch/bowling in a few hours. Anyways, i guess i can come up with a few characters for you all

Me-i agree with Chewy's assessment of Matthew Perry...i can deal with that
Ryan-Harland Williams from Rocketman, Half-baked, and There's Something about Mary...the similarities are eerie.
Weasel-The little kid that came up with the "annexation of Puerto Rico" play in Little Giants. Sorry Weasel. It's either him or Billy Bob Thornton for some reason....but i can't live in a world where you'd have the memory of doing it with Angelina Jolie and not me.
Chewy- Topher Grace minus the slicing ongoing sarcasm
Jenny-Jennifer Love Hewitt...ok no Mowry sisters. Now pleeeeeeeeease change yours.
Kristen-I will agree with Jenny about Kate Winslet. It was eerie seeing Kristen up there next to Jim Carrey.
Corey-Kirsten Dunst...i'm givin Corey the best out of all of us.
Connie- like Chewy said it's obviously Mila Kunis...good Lord it's obvious.
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:: David 9:08 PM [+] ::

Alright, this list was my idea and I refuse to be the last to post on it after more than a week. I'm only going to include my friends as characters and leave family out of it, unlike Weasel. I've been having a hard time coming up with a Heath and a Ryan, so we'll see what comes out when I get to them.

Myself - Tobey Maguire or Ethan Embry
Ryan - Harry Connick, Jr. (goin' with the Louisiana roots, plus he's tall and polite)
Weasel - Animated Tarzan (with the voice of Tony Goldwyn)
Heath - Matthew Perry (post drug problem)
The Bowden Sisters - Themselves, respectively (Jenny and Kristen only)
Corey - Julia Stiles
DT - Robert Downy, Jr. (during drug problem)
Connie - Mila Kunis (the obvious choice)

I'm going to stop there, that's about as far as I could go without pulling in people that 1) you guys don't know and/or 2) don't read this thing, anyway. I think that's a solid list. Solid. Heath, we're waiting, and I know that the only thing you're doing with your week is playing X-Box, so get to it.
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:: the wease 10:55 AM [+] ::

Weasel's Song

Starring

Brad Pitt - Weasel
Red Foreman (That 70's Show) - Weasel's dad
Kitty Foreman - Weasel's mom
Michael Richards - Ryan
Ben Savage (circa '96) - Chewy
Heah Ceren - Heath Ceren


That's all I can think of for now. Here is my reasoning:
- Heath would play Heath because I got lazy. I can't come up with a famous person that is like Heath. God wouldn't unleash two of them on this world.
- I stole the Michael Richards thing from Ryan's post. It fits well enough.
- Chewy will be played by Ben Savage from back in the day. I needed some 'nice guy' the little girls liked.
- Have you met my parents? 'nuff said.
- As for me, it is my movie. I should try to embellish (does that have two L's?) my life as much as possible. But here is a list of celebrities I have been compared to, if I must strive for realism: Eugene Levy, Bob Newhart, Steve Buscemi, Dilbert, Hyde (That 70's Show, again). Now do you see why I picked Brad Pitt? Actually, Hyde and Eugene Levy are pretty cool.

Let's get things moving again.
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:: Ryan 12:05 AM [+] ::

I cannot keep this blog running single handedly. post. anyone

on another note, i must amend my "list" for the time being. I will be swapping julia for julia.
Roberts is off, and as a surprise to weasel, good ol julia loius dreifus is on, for her witty charm and perfect fit into my dark hair dark eye mold. Lisa Wilson (former American Idol contestant is making a plea for the list as well, i might bump alison for her. We'll see.
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:: Ryan 12:34 AM [+] ::

That is the first I have seen of that site. 4 people on a blog.....made up phrases and words.....sounds like someone(s) needs to stop riding on the coat-tails of others.

In Drama 4 my senior year, we did something similar to this list. Fen asked the other members of the class who would play each of us, and then we had to do a monolouge from that person. The class picked Rupert Everett to play me. Kramer (michael Richards) came in a close second. Either or would be fine for me. as far as everyone else, beats me. I cant help but think of american pie's four guys when i think of us. Its not to a T, but similarities are there.

I think I should prepare a list of my sayings/words/made up stuff, along with the definitions. There are so dang many, and everyone always ends up saying them.
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:: David 8:46 PM [+] ::

There are some young men we know (somewhat) who have a blog that defines the special words that they use. As I was purusing this list of words, one term in particular caught my eye. It was the word "Plunking," and refered to little Plunk and his girlfriend, DT's step-sister, have underage intercourse. Now, normally I might just have a good laugh about this and read on, but it bothered me. It bothered me because these fine, young gentlemen don't know the REAL roots of the word Plunking. If it weren't for one big Plunk, then little Plunk wouldn't be who he is today, and those four crazy kids wouldn't even have the word Plunking. Obviously, the word "Plunking" originated with the senior Plunk and his exorbanant number of promiscuous encounters, not the junior Plunk and his sexual relationship with one little lady. I emplore the guys in the E.L.I. to correct this oversight in order to better understand and appreciate the word "Plunking."

The blog is here, and the guys some of us might know are Ben Palmer, Adam Roberts, and Stephen Brown (that's right, Dirty David Brown's brother).

Question of the week: If you made a movie about your life, who would be the cast and who would they play? You can also describe a plot if you want to, but that might be a little too detailed.
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:: Heath 11:23 PM [+] ::

As usual, i shall be the last to post.

1) Dumb and Dumber- Harry has a bulletproof vest on at the end to save his life. When asked what would have happened had he got shot in the head, he doesn't know what to say. In real life, he would have been shot in the head...people that stupid in real life don't exist, and when they do, they get shot in the head.
2) Moulin Rouge-The fact that Nicole Kidman's character died at the end is actually realistic...she was a whore, and whores get diseases like that. The unrealistic thing about this movie is the fact that she and Ewan McGregor (sp?) hooked up in the first place. Whores are businesspeople. They do whatever gets them the green. Falling in love with a penniless writer is no way to break the bank. In real life, she would have given him whatever STD's she had, pretended she was in love with him for just as long as it took to empty his bank account, and left him handcuffed to a bed a la Seinfeld.
3) Van Wilder- In the movie, Van barely passes all his finals in the end to graduate from Cooledge College. He hooks up with Tara Reid, as they both kiss while the camera fades out. In real life, Van's dad would have cut him off after four years of college, not paying the next five. Tara would have ended up with that "pre-med Dick" she dated up until Van. And Taj would have died in that freak body oil fire accident he started while trying to pleasure some third rate skank. Oh did i forget to mention the fact that kids as cool as Van Wilder don't actually exist? And even if one did, he'd end up as the assistant manager at a McDonalds somewhere.
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:: David 11:04 PM [+] ::

I don't think I even know two movies well, let alone three.

1) With Honors - When was the last time you made friends with a bum in the basement of your library? Bottom line, in real life, Brendan Fraser's character turns in the bum, gets his thesis back, changes nothing, and goes through life without thinking twice about it.

2) Little Giants - Two words: No. Way.

3) Shawshank Redemption - First of all, great movie. Second of all, Andy doesn't tunnel out with the rock hammer, and if he does, he passes out in the sewage line from a lack of oxygen and dies there, drowning in a pool of human waste that isn't his own. That's if the Sisters didn't kill him years ago. As a little side note, Andy also gets addicted to crack while he's in lock-up.
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:: Ryan 10:06 PM [+] ::

tought topic

1. office space - rather than the building burning down, Lumburg should have found the money, and rather than fire the three, he would have them all at his whim for the rest of their lives.

2. any action movie - whenever its one guy against 20+ men, odds are the one will not survive. I find it funny how people shooting machine guns tend to miss so often.

3. west side story - what really happens is Chino's immigrant anger doesnt stop with tony, he shoots Maria for not realizing what he did for her, among other reasons. He then runs off with certain members of the cast, who can do nothing. I mean, he shot his sister, you cant stop him.
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:: the wease 5:41 PM [+] ::

Movies with Unrealistic Outcomes:

1) Return of the King - come on, SOMEONE from the fellowship should have died. You can't expect me to believe none of those dumb-ass hobbits fell on a pointy stick.
2) James Bond Movies - In real life he'd be dead from syphillus, about 30 times over. Lord knows where someone named Pussy Galore has been.
3) Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - I'm convinced the director's cut has the true, original ending - the so called "Gang Bang ending."
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:: Heath 9:58 PM [+] ::

Our band...That Thing You Do style...

CD: Supersmash My Heart to Pieces
Band: The Oneders

On lead vocals: Chewy, aka "Jimmy"....the "talent" of the group. Writer of that hit song "Alone in My Principles". His talent is only preceded by his ability to get frustrated with those around him who don't share the same dedication to perfection. Not even Liv Tyler (yeah right) throwing herself at him would stop Chewy from writing his music. It was only when he was forced to record "That Thing You Do" in Spanish that Chewy came up with his next, and last, hit song "I Quit".
On bass: Weasel, known throughout the movie only by "The Bass Player". He looks innocent and does his job. Leave it to Weas to be the one to stab the rest of his bandmates in the back....and join the armed forces. During the movie, he tells the soldiers he can do 200 push-ups in a row...and we all know the only one of us with freakish strength, at least enough to do that, would be Weas.
On drums: Guy Patterson, known to his close friends as Ryan and known to the rest of the world as "Shades". He's the nice guy that you think will finish last but pulls a rabbit out of the hat in the end, hooking up with Liv Tyler. We all should realize this is the way it's gonna probably be. Ryan will have the hottest wife out of all of us, after probably stealing her away from Chewy, like in the movie. This unfortunately leaves Chewy to write one last song, "Shotgun to the Mouth".
On lead guitar: Heath, known as Lenny in the movie. He's the constant joker, never taking a thing seriously. We all love him for lines such as, "A guy in a really nice camper wants to put our song on the radio. Give me a pen...I'm signing, you're signing, we're all signing." In the end, he hooks up with a hot blonde secretary who used to be a Playboy Bunny, and they get married in Vegas. The sarcastic one of the group, he busted Jimmy's chops the most...easily.

Look for The Oneder's album sometime this summer!!!

Alright...next list.

I got this idea from the Dave Chapelle show. Give me a list of at least 3 movies you know pretty well...but that don't have realistic outcomes. For each of them, give a more "realistic" outcome.
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:: the wease 4:21 PM [+] ::

We'd be the Monkees, because the only way we would ever form a band is if some executive threw a bunch of (or any) money at us. I guess that describes N sync, too.
Me - Michael Nesmith - he was the tall guy with the hat. ("That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat!") No, I'm not tall nor do I have a hat. But he was the one who got frustrated with the label and the campy, formulaic songs that the Monkees had to perform. I figure I would get frustrated not having control of a band I was in, as well.
Heath - Davy Jones - Yes, because he was the one that all the girls wanted. He was also the most "pop," and what is Heath if he isn't a tool of the record producers?
Chewy - Mickey Dolenz - He sang all the popular songs. And of course David "The Voice" Burkholder would be singing any of our popular songs.
Ryan - Peter Tork - Ok, so I looked this fact up. Pete was a folk musician, and if Ryan had musical talent it would be very laid back and folksy, at least most of the time. I can see him wailing, too, but it didn't fit my analogy so I chose to ignore it. I'm not going to change my band now.

Heath, it's all you. Come up w/ a better list than mine.
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:: Ryan 1:39 PM [+] ::

The way i see it, we are very similar to ....i hate to say it...but N'Sync.
Heath would be Justin, having the ability to sing, but more notably, having the ability to move from girl to girl to girl.
David would be JC, also being able to sing (and very well at that). He keeps a low cover, not as high profile as Justin, and is still able to be famous without the crutch of the group.
Wease would be (HA) Lance, because he, just as I, cannot sing, and has to rely on other stunts to receive publicity, such as smart people stuff, like the space program.
Ryan would be Joey. He's old. He's really old. He's goofey lookin. the only reason he's in the group is because he is old and goofey lookin.

there ya go.
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:: David 11:09 PM [+] ::

Making the Band: Blog Syle

I've thought almost semi-halfway seriously about this topic. I decided that above all else, Heath would have to be drums. I've got a couple of reasons for this. First, chicks dig the drummer for some reason, and since chicks already dig Heath, it's only natural he goes drummin'. Second, I don't see Heath having the stage personality to play one of the guitars, nor the fingers to do it effectively. He's more of the laid back type, and his fingers are way to stubby to play a rippin' guiater solo.
Weasel would play the bass guitar. I've never heard of a bass player with a roaring persona, so Weasel got this one because I didn't know where else to put him. Except keyboards. But I figured he wouldn't like that one too much, so I stuck an axe in his hands instead.
Ryan would be the lead guitar. He's got the flare, and the big hands, to get the job done. He's got a fire in his hands, and a flame in his eyes, so I can see him going crazy on a mad solo and making for some nifty stage presence. He's the "wild man." I thought about putting him on the drums because he can go crazy with the sticks, but decided the band would be better off if Heath were drums and Ryan was lead guitar.
I guess that makes me vocals. I realized that, and it kind of depressed me because that's all I know how to do, so I'm here by default. I guess I could play the keyboard, but I don't like that very much. Vocals it is. I can't even see myself having very good band vocals. This pick is obviously the weakest of all the band, I should just hire a guy to do lead vocals and I'll manage the band. Hey, that's it, I'm the manager.

My face hurts. Merry March First to all, and to all a good night.
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:: the wease 3:07 AM [+] ::

First off, good news. All 4 Seinfeld actors have finally agreed to do the bonus material for the DVD's. 180 episodes of pure comedic bliss are headed your way.

My Backup in a fight

1. Ryan - It took me a while to pick the top spot here. Initially I thought Heath is stronger than Ryan, if I get in a fight at 4pm Ryan would still in bed, and Heath wasn't the one who picked Chewy over me. But instead of playing passive aggressive games and "revenge listing," I decided Ryan would be my first choice for this reason: He has some hidden store of energy that we usually see him tap around 4 or 5am, a few hours after Chewy has gone to bed. I don't know where it comes from, but Ryan has the uncanny ability to run on pure adrenaline for days. He would be "on" in a flash, getting in those crucial first strikes. Plus, he's crazy.


2. Heath - Now it's easy. I can either take a lawnchair or Heath. And even though being on Heath's "team" is dangerous in most games, I know he'd back me up in real life at least until a girl walked by.


3. Chewy - We both knew how this would end up. Let's not make it any harder, baby. Shhh, don't talk.

New list: It's another group-focused list. If we had to form a band, who would do what? It can be any style of band you like, but we all have to be on stage. No cop-out jobs like manager, security, or Jermaine Jackson.
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:: Ryan 8:09 PM [+] ::

wow, two quick responses, i guess i will go ahead and give mine, so that when wease posts his, he can post another list as well.

if we were just wrestling, corpus-style, i would have to go Heath, Wease, then David, simply from the performances given there, who gave, and who my partner was, but since this would be an all out fist fight...my picks would be...

1. David - for a couple of reasons, i would have David be my #1, most noteworthy, and what sticks out in my mind, is in Florida when my brother was being a botch, trying to fight him, and he just snapped and got ahold of Logan with a fire in his eyes I had never seen before. Because of past events, i think David wouldn't second-guess wailin on some folks.


2. Heath - because he is a natural aggressor, and is probably the reason this fight would occur in the first place. Also, much like me, i think that no matter what happens, he wouldn't give up. I mean, there were times where I couldn't breathe in corpus, but i didn't give. I put a mark in the win column over my own well being, and i think he would do the same.


3. Weasel - I think between the three of you, there is no way I could go wrong with any of you by my side, but, in custom list fashion, there has to be closer to the list, and dispite his ferocious actions and unpredictability, Wease lost his top spot in my book sometime over spring break '02.

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:: David 5:58 PM [+] ::

WANNA BOX?!?!

1) Heath - I was totally going to put Ryan numero uno, and then I remembered something. Heath, as my teammate, made Weasel call uncle in Corpus. Let me say that again: Heath made the mentally unflappable Weasel...flap! Once I remembered that, there was no question about who needed to be number one.

2) Ryan - At 6'3" and about 170-180, he's certainly bigger than the rest of us. And in a fight, I 'd rather have the taller, heavier Ryan than the shorter, lighter Weasel. To put it in another way, if Ryan and Weasel went mano y mano, I think Ryan would win. That's why he's number two.

3) Weasel - Sorry you're so low on the list. I realize that you're potentially a dirty fighter, frightening aggressive (both in a fight and on a date), and I'd certainly much rather have you as a friend than an enemy. Even so, Heath made you call mercy, and I think Ryan would beat you in a fight. That simply makes you number three. No offense.

Ding, ding.
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:: Heath 5:43 PM [+] ::

Good list Ryan...

Now, please no one take offense to the order to which i'm about to give...

1. Ryan-Flat out...he's got the size advantage over the other two. What he lacks in shear tenacity he makes up for the fact that compared to the rest of us, he's an ogre (in a good way Ryan, in a good way). Plus i think it's a fair assumption that Ryan's just as strong if not stronger than the other two, even taking into consideration Weas's freakish unbridled strength and Chewy's recent "surge" in the size department. Ryan, you'd have my back first if it were up to me.
2. Weasel-this was a hard one to decide between him and Chewy. The thing that gives Weasel the edge is not his freakish strength already mentioned, but rather his mental capacity for hairy situations. If the situation was really bad, Weasel would be able to calculate the odds in the blink of an eye and determine the only way for us to win would be for him to pull out the shank he was carrying in his back pocket. Since we know Weasel doesn't care what others think, he wouldn't mind fighting dirty either.
3. Chewy-Sorry man, i wish i could have put you higher. But all i kept hearing to myself (a bit thanks to talking with you as well) was "not the human lawnchair".

K....I posted first for the first time in awhle...now all of u get to goin.
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:: Ryan 5:30 PM [+] ::

We are all known to crack a joke and keep it running with the best of them. Lets say we do this amongst the company of strangers, and they do not take kindly to said joke, and want to start a "rumble". Sure, i think each of you would have my back, but lets make it interesting, and say at the time, only one of the 4 of us was with you. who would that one be, and why? you can then put the remaining two in order, followed by a reason as well.
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:: David 12:29 AM [+] ::

Spring Breakin'...OLD SCHOOL STYLE!

What I wish I would be doing:
1) Sleeping
2) Going out of the country, preferably to some island paradise.
3) Four words: Cabin on a lake.

What I'll be doing fo' real:
1) Physics homework
2) MCAT homework
3) Sleeping

Time for a new list.
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:: Heath 9:35 PM [+] ::

Wish i was:
Goin to south padre maybe...i think some guys here are going.
Goin skiing...again, some guys here going.
Goin to Hawaii with my parents who don't like their kids enough to invite them along with them.

I am going to:
Hang out with lil' Kacey
Hang out with Pablosuki
Probably watchin a good amount of movies.

I'm not interesting anymore...on a good note, i have a date on sunday.
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:: Ryan 12:51 AM [+] ::

wish i was :
going to LA
going to (Insert body of water here)
planning ahead

going to:
sit
work
not realize that there is supposed to be some difference between that week and every other week before it
.....

:: the wease 4:46 AM [+] ::

I spent 4 hours talking philosophy (of religion and god, of course) with Cabe. Now it's 4:45, and I have to wake up at 5:30....or continue the conversation with Ryan.
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:: the wease 4:37 AM [+] ::

Wanna Do:

1) Take a trip with friends on the overlapping weekend between my spring break and theirs. (possibly New Braunfels)
2) Take a trip with friends on the overlapping weekend between my spring break and theirs.
3) Take a trip with friends on the overlapping weekend between my spring break and theirs.

Will Do:

1) Whatever anyone suggests
2) Dentist appt.
3) Taxes
.....

:: David 11:06 PM [+] ::

Double the pleasure, double the fun. This is a compound list concerning Spring Break. List the top 3 things that you'd want to do over Spring Break, then list the top 3 things that you'll most likely be doing over Spring Break. I guess it's an exercise in depressing yourself by comparing the dream with the reality. Hit it.
.....

:: the wease 8:08 PM [+] ::

Chewy. List. Go.

In the meantime I'll ramble about myself, since I don't maintain a personal blog anymore. Went to bed at 1:30 last night. Why? I was composing punk songs on a website where you can do just that until 12:30. Then I wasn't tired. I had all this rage. I wanted to punch The Man in the face and scare conformist drones out of their routine with a mohawk!!...but instead I played some NCAA. Fell asleep around 1:30....and woke up 4 hours later. Now I work on SMU's student newscast. Call for writers is at 6am. It's rough. I hope I can stick with it.
.....

:: Heath 12:00 AM [+] ::

The dang blog ate my first post so this one won't be as detailed. I'm really pissed off right now.

1. Heath- That's right...me. I wouldn't last as long as the others because, like one said, i would lack the entertainment. The only thing that might make me last longer would be believing i was in competition with my other friends to see who could survive longest. But i doubt even that could save me. A Heath without entertainment is no Heath at all.
2. Weas- It was close between me and him. The thing with Weasel is he would have a hard time surviving without people around him to keep secrets from. He'd sit on the beach, rocking back and forth, playing a game of 20 questions with friends that aren't there. He'd pass away, taking all the secrets with him that were buried inside....except one.
3. Chewy- He'd last awhile because he'd find a nice dark corner somewhere, take a huge pile of food to last awhile, and spend the time drawing some medical or mathematical calculation on a rock wall with a piece of charcoal he found. Even if his friends were to find the island, discover Chewy there and try to take him away from his work, he'd replay, "I'm busy can't you see....I'm a doctor damnit." This would be a pretty good feat for the man once known as the Vanilla Thrilla (only referred to by himself)
4. Ryan- Ryan would last the longest because of his ability to hibernate. One week awake to Ryan is equal to 6 months to the normal person. In that week he'd get enough food to last him his slumber, and spend the rest of the time either amusing himself with 2 sugar packets he had in his pocket or with building his personal monopoly board out of bark and stone.
.....

:: the wease 6:41 PM [+] ::

Island Survivability Chart
Dr. Weasel


Nothingua Sleepula - Comman name: Ryan. After years of studying the Ryan, I have yet to see it move more than 5 miles from its place of birth. If conditions threatened its nest, it is doubtful a Ryan would bother to move. A Ryan is the most sedentary creature listed, often sleeping for between 18 and 22 hours a day. A specific number is impossible to calculate, because an awake Ryan is as active as a sleeping one. Ryans appear to do nothing, not even what is required for basic survival. They squander resources on shiny metal discs in an elaborate trade system, even though these disks provide no shelter or transportation. Survivability: Lowest

Weasellum Americanus - The American Weasel has no particular skills to adapt to island life. It is also a highly sedentary species, much like a ryan. However, when its life is threatened, a weasel will display surprising strength and agility. The weasel neglects to plan ahead, often forgetting to forage for the winter. Instead the weasel raids the stash of other organisms to survive. On a desert island, the weasel is bereft of most of his survival resources - other species. Survivability: Low

Hornieum Heathios - Although his survival skills aren't as advanced as other species, the Heathios is a resilient species. It has tremendous stores of fat that allow it to survive in harsh conditions, lasting months without food. The Heathios reproduce often in captivity, but in their natural state the male Heathios loses interest before the female finishes her courtship dance. Their social structure appears to support some sort of confining, exclusive bond between a male and a female which facilitates reproduction even beyond desirable levels. Survivability: Moderate

Chewicus Pussicus - This scrawny creature, commonly known as the Chewy, is best suited for island living. Although its small size and slow reflexes make it an easy target for most predators, its highly developed brain gives him a distinct advantage. The Chewicusses demonstrate excellent medical knowledge and a knack for tool use. It seems to understand simple rules of survival, such as "don't drink seawater," which are invaluable on a deserted island. If Chewies live far away from predators, they will flourish. Survivability: High
.....

:: Ryan 12:20 AM [+] ::

I thought this post would be difficult, then i decided to base my decision on who would be able to pass the time without going stir crazy, and it came pretty easily.

1. Ryan (that being me) - I would survive longest simply from my track record of splitting my time between doing nothing and sleeping 12 hours out of the day for the past 4+ years.


2. Weasel - the only other one out of the four who sleeps and procrastinates almost as much as i do. sleep will be the winner it seems.


3. Heath and David - thats right, a tie, a cop out. My plea for heath involved him always watching movies, which he wouldnt have on an island, and i dont know if he would be as laid back as david. My plea for david involved him being smart, and able to figure out how to survive in his head, but not being able to hold off going stir crazy from not having anything to fill his time, as he is a busy body.

There we go.
Next.
.....

:: the wease 11:40 PM [+] ::

That's Thurston Howell the Third, to you.
.....

:: David 11:36 PM [+] ::

Island survival are a tough call, especially with each on our own island because they'll obviously have to be a little different. One thing is sure, though, and that is that Heath would survive the longest because with his luck, he would land on an island that wasn't actually deserted, but instead had nothing but young maiden's between the ages of 17 and 25. That's just Heath's way. After that, it gets a little sketchy. Since Weasel's views are a bit more relaxed than Ryan's and mine, I think he might have an easier time killing himself. Then again, Weasel's also been one to scof in the face of nature and never admit its supremacy over him, so he'd probably tough it out even if he wanted to kill himself just so he could stick it to Mother Nature. Tough call. I'll average it out and say he goes out second. And what about me and Ryan with spots 1 and 3 still open? I've always considered myself a strong willed person, but on a deserted island with tall coconut trees, being tall and having long arms is probably a little more practical. Since I have neither, I guess that puts Ryan in the 3 spot. It sucks that I'd have to starve to death, though. It's just as well, I never liked coconut anyway. So to recap, the order from shortest to longest duration of stay on Isle de Desert (along with the corresponding characters from Isle de Gilligan) is:

1) Me (Gilligan)
2) Weasel (Mr. Howell)
3) Ryan (The Skipper)
4) Heath, with the aid of his lady friends (The Professor*, you lucky bastard)

*This has nothing to do with intelligence, because then Heath wouldn't be the professor. The title was given merely to show desert island-living ability compared to the souls lost on the Minnow during a three hour tour...a three hour tour.
.....

:: the wease 11:06 PM [+] ::

Cast Away ws on TV tonight, so it got me thinking about what it would be like to be stranded on a desert island. And I wondered if I could survive and for how long. And then I wondered which one of us would last longest. If we each crashed on our own island, which one of us would last longest, and how long would each of us survive?
.....

:: Heath 3:48 PM [+] ::

K here's my list...

1.) American Idol...the only reason i feel guilty about it is my grotesque dedication to it...i have to tape it no matter what the circumstances.
2.) I'm currently using Crest White Strips...my mom got them for Christmas for me cuz i told her one time they'd be fun to try out. And now i'm using them. And i like them. Don't laugh.
3.) The Real World on MTV...i hate myself for it.
4.) Clay Aiken...i have his CD and like listening to it. I'm not gay i swear.
5.) I went bowling like 3 times last week. Higgs is starting to play here and so i think i might be getting back into it. I only feel guilty about it because i take it somewhat seriously.

.....

:: the wease 2:40 PM [+] ::

Alright, here's my list of guilty pleasures:

1) Chocolate. I eat candy like a 10-year old kid...or a pregnant lady. I try not to eat too much because it seems so womanly.
2) The OC. Susannah comes over to watch it, and now I have been watching it. Lots of hot girls, and shitty acting/writing.
3) Singing to my favorite songs. People know I sing, but I'm so bad I try not to do it when people are around.
4) I still think playing with Legos is fun. I'm not ashamed of that one at all, but it seems like something other people would make fun of me for.


I only have four right now.

Time to up the hit count-

Successful youth. successful youth. successful youth. successful youth. eligible bachelors. hot single guys. young hot single guys. young hot smart rich single guys. young hot rich smart attractive successful clean fun single guys.


.....

:: Ryan 12:31 PM [+] ::

and i was looking at the counter.
A few interesting facts to note.

- we currently have around 9,300 hits. holla
- many people have hit us from a search engine, with searches such as supersmashbros, heath weasel ryan david, and my favorite

successful youth.

thats right, beats me how that search pointed here. there are certainly none of those to be found here.
.....

:: Ryan 12:26 PM [+] ::

1) Stupid TV shows like DC, OC, i dont feel guilty about watching seinfeld. Outside of those, i really dont watch much TV
2) Sweet n low packets
3) When i am in my car, I sing, play air guitar, and just generally flail around like a rock star when i am alone.
4) Italian Ice
5) Eating out all the time, and blowing money like i have tons of it, when really, i have none.
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:: David 12:26 PM [+] ::

If I have a top 5 guilty pleasures that i've never really admitted to anyone, how would it make sense to post them in front of everyone? And now, the list.

1) Baking. Shut up.
2) Yeah, I'll admit it, sometimes I sing along to songs sung by girls...in their register. It's just not the same down an octave. Shut up.
3) Little Giants was on tv earlier in the week, and I really wanted to watch it. That's the movie I watched when I was 12 and they were keeping me awake because they weren't sure if I had a concussion or not. Did I mention I'm 20 and I wanted to watch it? I also watched Fools Rush In twice in the past week. I love that movie. Shut up.
4) I dance stupid when I'm alone in my room listening to music and getting ready for something or just messing around. I said shut up.
5) When you go to bed, do you sometimes talk like the dialogue of a play and talk in the voices of the characters? Yeah, me neither. Shut up.
.....

:: Ryan 11:52 PM [+] ::

Leave it to Heath to do exactly what i said he would do.
and if you looked at my site so closely, you would have seen that I already posted the list there.
My New Blog
if you really want to read it that bad, go there.
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:: Heath 3:07 PM [+] ::

LOL at Ryan watchin Dawson's Creek and admitting it online. Wow. Which brings me to the next list, even though Ryan still hasn't posted his last one yet....lazy.

Top five guilty pleasures that you really haven't admitted to anyone.
.....

:: David 11:04 PM [+] ::

So my AOL stopped working. Not my AIM, my AOL. I can't get to my email. It's really retarded. I think I'm going to have to get a new address, but until I do, if someone needs to email me, they should do it at dburkh3@mail.utexas.edu. It'll probably take me awhile to remember to check it. But that's ok because I don't get any conversational emails anyway.
.....

:: Heath 9:30 AM [+] ::

Spring me vs. Shawnee me...

1. I get more done here. When i'm at home i have a tendency to be lazy and just sit around. Here it seems like i get alot of stuff done mainly because i have to if i wanna stay here.
2. It's weird...first year or so here i was more sociable back in Spring and less of a people person here. Now it seems it's the opposite. I go out of my way to talk to people now here at school and at home I kind of hold back.
3. When i'm here i don't make fun of Chewy
4. When i'm at school I talk to "free and liberated Weasel" as opposed to the Spring version "locked up for life Weasel".
5. By the way...Ryan's the same no matter where i go. Works and sleeps.
6. You appreciate family more when you're away from them.
7. I play more games in Spring.
8. Like Ryan, i probably spend more money doing stuff at home.
9. I'm around the alcohol alot more here...that's probably because i live with a borderline alcoholic.
10. I gotta go take a shower before class.
.....

:: David 11:18 PM [+] ::

Quick and dirty.

1) I'm way more social in Spring. Here I'm always working on something. M-Th this semester, I spend more than 45 hours on campus, and those are during weeks that I don't have extra work to do. Plus I'm really shy anyway.

2) Unlike Weasel, I keep more regular hours in Austin. I like sleep. A lot.

3) I'm not much of a city kind of guy. I like the suburbs because it feels more home-y and more outdoors-y, less confined. Austin isn't even a big city, UT is so crowded and there's so much concrete everywhere. I'm just not all about the gray.

4) I eat better when I'm not here. That's just the truth.

5) I'm a lot lazier at home and in Spring than I am here. I can't afford to be lazy at school.

6) A lot of people say they're glad to be "free" from their family, but mine never rode me like Weasel's rides him. I had a ton of freedom back at home, and for the most part it was all at my own discretion. I do miss being closer to my family. That'd probably be the hardest part is I ever go out-of-state since nowhere I'm looking at outside of Texas is within 1000 miles of family.

That's it. Yee haw!
.....

:: the wease 6:31 PM [+] ::

Ok, lets talk about what I'm like in Spring and what I'm like in Dallas.

1. I keep slightly more regular hours when I'm in Spring because it's forced upon me by my parents. I can't stay out or up as late because there is nothing to do and I have to be home. Also, my Dad gets really mad if I sleep in on Saturdays. And on Sundays I have church or the occasional Texans game. All this makes me wake up before noon.

2. I swear more when I'm in Dallas. Do you guys remember Susannah? (I know Heath does) Her foul mouth is contagious. BALLS!

3. Things in Dallas are open later. I can get Jack in the Box 24 hours a day. Not like that crappy JITB on Steubner. Same with Cafe Brazil. In Spring all we have is IHOP with creepy waitresses. It has a certain charm, but I have options in Dallas.

4. I am much more competitive in Spring because there is an outlet for it. No one here plays SSB, RISK, A&A, Spades or Monopoly well. All people do here is drink and dance.

5. I'm lazier in Dallas. Again, it's parents that make me do stuff at home.

6. I'm socially awkward and shy in Dallas. Maybe I was in Spring, also. But it's more apparent here because I don't know very many people. In Spring I knew a lot of folks and always hung out in places where those people were. (Church, drama or debate rooms, honors classes, the backseat of a 1989 Plymouth Voyager)

Fatty and Nerdy, you guys are up.
.....

:: Ryan 12:36 AM [+] ::

A post from everyone in two days?? holy wow. dont drop the ball now fellas. usually i would just let someone else post next, but lets be honest, that wouldnt happen. So....

Since we all went off to college in 4 different spots, what is different between "spring" you, and "insert college town here" you. you could even go as far as saying whats different with the towns n such. i dont care. just post. anything. please.
.....

:: David 5:52 PM [+] ::

Brace yourselves gentlemen, I've come out of my cave to lay down on the blog...

Things that have changed since high school? Come on, we're almost halfway into the "Aughts" here. Let's see what I've got up my sleeve.

1) My weight fluctuated. I started at 125, got to about 147, and now I'm hovering somewhere between 138-140. I think.
2) Weasel's right, I have to shave. Not because it grows thick, but because I don't want to look like I've got dirt on my face.
3) I study now. I never studied back in the day.
4) I watch a lot less TV. I don't have time for it.
5) America is at war in Iraq instead of hunting down Milosivic, which is a name I can't spell. That's us, the champion of our own interests while we disguise it in "the wellfare of the world."
6) This will be hard to believe, but I'm a bigger nerd now than I ever was in my last three years of high school. I won't talk about my freshman year.
7) Cher is younger now than she was 4 years ago. Wait, let me rephrase. Cher's components are younger now than they were 4 years ago.
8) Weasel makes it sound like he got play during the majority of high school when we all know that it was only the last 6 months or something like that.
9) Now, Weasel will come back with a vicous attack on me via this blog public forum. In the olden days, he just would've said it when we were around a group of people.
10) The 15 year old me could probably beat the 20 year old me at basketball.
11) The 20 year old me could probably whomp the living crap out of the 15 year old me right afterwards, though. I'd steal my wallet while I'm at it.
12) I wear glasses.

Oddly enough, I've still got a ton of the same clothes. I guess my clothing turnaround is fairly slow. My body is in 2004, but my fashion is still in 1999-2001.
.....

:: Heath 5:30 PM [+] ::

Hmmm what has changed since high school?...this is the best i could come up with:

1.) Nowadays, i can't feed a small African country with my excess body fat.
2.) I don't make fun of Chewy...crap nevermind.
3.) I value money alot more than i used to
4.) I don't kidnap people anymore.
5.) Supersmash brothers is not the first thing that comes to mind when i wake up in the morning or go to bed at night.
6.) I don't work in hell (pappasitos for those that don't know me well)
7.) I don't make a daily habit out of listening to Nsync....just wait till a new record comes out though.
8.) I'm closer to my family
9.) I'm not as into the long hair thing as i used to be
10) Krista Allen is #1 on my celebrity list...over and over

K i'm sure there's more but chew on that for awhile.
.....

:: Ryan 12:05 AM [+] ::

i must agree with the "not much has changed" idea...in general.
but...

1) i dont sleep, or at least i usually dont go to sleep until 2 or 3
2) I don't always have to go out to do things, staying in is fine by me
3) I can see myself getting married (dont take this too far, please)
4) I went through my facial hair stage right after college, and now shave daily.
5) heres a kicker....i am not a huge fan of sarah or ani much anymore, their latest releases were not up to par. still a fan, not a huge one.
6) I can't hang onto money to save my life.

thats good for now.

when i think david will post: about a week
when i think heath will post: about a month, if ever
.....

:: the wease 11:53 PM [+] ::

Weird. It double posted. First of all, I would like to say that not much has changed since I graduated. I think that should tell me there is a problem. It does tell me that, in fact. But I'm sure I can come up with three things....

THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL

1. I don't get any play
2. I can stay out past 11:30. (Why not just say midnight?? Why was it always 30 min before everyone else?)
3. I play far less SSB
4. I have to shave more often
5. Chewy has to shave
6. Now I'm bitter and mean
.....

:: the wease 11:46 PM [+] ::

Hey, guys. What's up?
.....

:: Ryan 11:45 PM [+] ::

i refuse to let that post be it.

give me (at least) 3 things that have changed since you graduated high school.

there is an appropriate post
.....

:: the wease 11:43 PM [+] ::

Hey, guys. What's up?
.....

:: Ryan 10:09 PM [+] ::

http://www.vh1.com/artists/az/jones_norah/362774/album.jhtml

Yes, she is my #1. No doubt in my mind.
.....

:: the wease 12:49 PM [+] ::

Get off my saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaac
.....

:: the wease 12:41 PM [+] ::

That is an even bigger load of crap. Your post is completely innacurate, Chewy. For me to tell a girl I can't go out with her would mean SHE would actually have to ASK me out. And we all know that isn't happening.
.....

:: David 12:27 PM [+] ::

I figured it was time I got into the action. The biggest let down that by Wednesday afternoon, the time I would've left, Weasel hadn't even started his work. So I was in Austin...for nothing. And he was alone...for nothing. Now I see why girls don't oft come his way. "Yeah, I'd love to go out with you sometime, but I've got sitting around to do, so I don't think I'll be able to fit it into my schedule."
.....

:: Ryan 3:42 PM [+] ::

Thats the biggest load of crap i have ever heard
.....

:: the wease 12:16 PM [+] ::

I have papers to write. I can't be distracted with friends coming over. School is important.
.....

:: Heath 8:17 PM [+] ::

I think a better topic to write about is the fact i don't even know Weasel anymore. I heard from Chewy himself that it was WEAS who cancelled Chewy's trip to Dallas. Either he's started to hate Chewy or we're seeing a whole new side of our friend.

Kinda sad actually.
.....

:: the wease 6:43 PM [+] ::

Reading Connie's blog one wouldn't exactly come away with the idea that she won the spelling or grammar bees in school. At least she types a lot...
.....

:: Ryan 6:25 PM [+] ::

Spelling by Connie

found on Connie's Blog
'Pronociation by my math teacher:
He likes saying the word determine....
de-ter-mine # '

post
anyone
please
- posted by Ryan @ 4:23 PM "
.....

:: the wease 11:39 AM [+] ::

Saturday Oct. 25th 2003 David B

"Next week: Why unicorns and mafia don't mix."

Several weeks later....nothing. Damn you and your empty promises.
.....

:: Ryan 3:47 PM [+] ::

"You do it to yourself, you do. And thats what really hurts.
You do it to yourself, just you. You and no one else.
You do it to yourself."
.....

:: the wease 10:53 PM [+] ::

ok, so i saved a post, but i think it disappeared. anyway, i was just making excuses for why i can't keep up. Excuse # only - my internet hasnt been working. It's killin me smalls.
.....

:: Ryan 1:17 AM [+] ::

i wasnt mad, i actually did it as a joke to see if i could get a rise out of the blog members (to no avail), but i do like how you didn't refer to me by name on your blog. Your link is back. I guess blogger messed up for a while on our site at the same time it was messing up on yours.

On another note, i have a new car. a new old car. ask me about it. it comes with a story.
.....

:: David 5:32 PM [+] ::

I know I read the blog between the 15th and the 20th because I saw the Alisa quote but not the link post. If you're paying attention to this post, you can see it's on the 25th. I guess that would mean I read it ever five days. Just enough to keep up, and just enough to be ineffective in posting.

Next week: Why unicorns and mafia don't mix.
.....

:: Ryan 8:22 PM [+] ::

It seems Connie removed our link from her site. Who knows if it was done purposefully, but I took the appropriate actions. I think its funny that not only does no one read this blog anymore, but you three dont either.
.....

:: Ryan 3:09 PM [+] ::

Alisa: "The blogs don't write themselves".
.....

:: the wease 3:27 AM [+] ::

That's true. And if anybody actually found out about 2 hours of dead air, we could say some bullshit like it's a protest against the war. I don't know what war, but there's bound to be people killing people somewhere.
.....

:: David 5:53 PM [+] ::

I'd be willing to bet that if you just took up a two hour block of airtime and left it blank, no one would notice.
.....

:: Ryan 12:00 AM [+] ::

nothing.

Its a show

about nothing.
.....

:: the wease 4:37 PM [+] ::

EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE

I come to you good people now in my hour of need. Actually, I'm simply too lazy to think of ideas on my own, so I want to steal yours. It's like this - I can get a radio show on KPNI, SMU's ghetto no programming, no range, 5 watt radio station that plays in the student center and on the tv station. However, I don't have an idea for a show. Hence, I ask this question:

What should my radio show (feat. roommate Tim) be about?

And now I need to vent about a few things:
1. My apartment is really hot
2. In my 8AM required class we are learning html. I already know it, and HOW WILL MAKING A HYPERLINK PREPARE ME TO BE A JOURNALIST??
3. Everytime I go into the create-a-post screen it's slightly different. When will the blogger gods make up their minds on an interface? That's all i ask.
.....

:: Heath 10:53 AM [+] ::

Hey...SORRY for the loooong delay. My room doesn't have internet yet because the incompetent bastards at this school don't know how to allocate the extra 200 dollars they charged in tuition this semester. They didn't figure that with more students this year there wouldn't be enough bandwith. So i'm stuck with no internet unless i go to the lab. I'll be back in no time i'm sure. Go ahead and post someone and i'll do a better job of keeping tabs on this thing till my internet begins to come alive.
.....

:: the wease 11:39 AM [+] ::

Any of you seen a fellow by the name of Heath? About yay high, no hair, teeth, probably giggling like a girl.
.....

:: Ryan 3:38 AM [+] ::

i will be gone for the next four days, but im sure all i will miss will be silence. have fun.


.....

:: the wease 12:53 AM [+] ::

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?
.....

:: David 10:11 PM [+] ::

My internet has been on the fritz the last couple of days, but luckily it looks like I'm not the last one to post.

1) Parking. In probably what is the most densly packed campus in the nation, they have very little parking, and certainly none of it is free. In a time when we need more parking on campus, they recently closed off a big parking lot to build a museum. Did I mention that this new museum is across the street from, you guessed it, a museum?

2) Housing is at a premium. I paid more to live in Jester East, the ghetto of UT housing, than they pay at A&M to live in the plush modular dorms.

3) Chris Simms, but he's gone now.

4) Flat rate tuition. This university knows how their students work, and that is that they take as few hours as possible as soon as possible. So what does the university do in the largest colleges on campus? Flat rate tuition. It costs as much to take 12 hours as it does to take 15. Nobody takes 15 for the most part if they don't have to. All of the upperclassmen are lazy and take 12 or 13 if at all possible. And with deregulation about to take effect, the tuition certainly won't be going down. Luckily, we're not getting screwed like Weasel.

5) In a national survey, UT was found to have the worst food among college campuses. This must be true because I can't imagine it getting any worse.
.....

:: Ryan 8:54 PM [+] ::

1. not letting me off campus because.....who knows why.
2. everything is about money
3. nazi-lecture-only prof's
4. prof's that take attendance
5. hiring the most inconsiderate, cold hearted, elderly men and women to teach classes they know nothing about and dont mind failing 3/4 of the class as long as they still get the paycheck.
.....

:: the wease 12:12 AM [+] ::

1. Tuition
2. Fees
3. Tuition & Fees
4. Fees & Tuition
5. Mustang Football
.....

:: Heath 5:58 PM [+] ::

Well i posted earlier but it didn't take...

So here's my list again: Top five ways your school takes advantage of you financially, academically, etc.

go
.....

:: David 1:25 AM [+] ::

I'm way past late on this. It's been a long week with too much to do. I'm glad to see you all had fun in Ruston, and that my name was there to sling around as a petty insult. It's like I was really there. I'm just going to do this quick and dirty because I'm tired.

Batman - Weasel said it all.
Doug - Because I always identified with him back in the day.
Duffman - What other "superhero" can thrust in the direction of the problem?
Homer - He's kind of like Jesus, but not in a sacreligious way.
Papa Smurf - I've got to give props to him because you know that all the smurfs called him Big Poppa and we just never got to see it (especially, but especially, that botch smurfette).

My apartment has the chance to be B-A-double L-er, but right now it just looks kind of bland. I need to get more stuff up on the walls or some more furniture-esque type things, but since school is about to start I don't see it happening in the near future. It'll have to remain par for the course for the time being.

Heath's up.
.....

:: Ryan 12:50 AM [+] ::

tony montana

or

tan'e manta'ya

you can refer to me as either from now on, and once i remember how to change my posting name to the aforementioned name, consider it done.
.....

:: Heath 6:08 PM [+] ::

Haha...

Yeah that was basically the day in Ruston in a nutshell. And just trust us on this one...everything was hilarious in person.
.....

:: the wease 2:27 PM [+] ::

"Say hello to my little friend"
"Neither do I..."
"The Barren Wasteland of Relationships"

W: I'm leaving after this hand.
H: Alright, David.
W: Shutup. I've been here twice as long as you, hypocritical bastard.
H: You're just going to play video games.
R: There's time for a game of spades....
W: I told you I'm leaving.
R:...or Risk.
W: Let's do this.

(2 1/2 hours later)
W: Bye guys.

.....

:: the wease 2:22 PM [+] ::

Until I get internet at the apt., you guys can keep going with the lists. I won't be able to keep up, and I don't want you to wait for me.

Batman is better than Superman. Sure, Superman would win in a fight, but that's because he has the power to do anything. Come on. Batman has done way more with way less. Superman is a total jackass for ever losing a fight. If Batman had even 1/2 the super powers of Superman, he would destroy him. And let's not forget that Superman gave Batman a Kryptonite ring, in case Superman ever turned evil and had to be taken down. So actually, Batman would kick Superman's ass in a fight without any superpowers. Plus, Batman is a womanizer.

yeah barf so yeah
.....

:: Heath 9:53 AM [+] ::

"So yeah David is gone but yeah seeing him again reminds me why a long distance relationship is worth it. Yeah the time when you are apart blows but when you DO finally get to see each other, you are just so happy and all you want to do is just hold each other and look at each other."

(barf)
.....

:: Heath 9:44 AM [+] ::

1. Superman-He's the man of steel and can only be harmed with kryptonite or when ya catch him in the shade. Batman sucks. In reality, one punch from Superman would take Batman out. Yes he has cool gadgets, but the intangibles lie with Superman.
2. Roger Rabbit-To be able to save ToonTown while still maintaining a sense of humor AND holding onto Jessica Rabbit....that's amazing.
3. Thundercats-All of them...Lionel was the best but all of them together formed an unbeatable arrangement.
4. Aladdin-He saved all of Agraba from Jaffar not once, but twice if u could the sequel "Return of Jaffar". He had his trusty sidekicks in Abu, Genie, and the carpet. And he had his fine galpal in Jasmine. Sounds like a hero to me.
5. Spiderman-He's just cool.
.....

:: Ryan 4:45 PM [+] ::

1. cartman
2. calvin n hobbes - they are super heros, have you read any of them? thats all they do.
3. garfield - am i less of a man because i felt compassion for odie with all of the bad things garfield did.
4. ive never been big into animated things. never a big superman/batman fan at all
5. so, i am less equiped to answer this list, sorry fellas.
.....

:: the wease 2:30 PM [+] ::

Chewy, I can still sit around and do nothing without coincidence. You could too, but you're too afraid to try. While Heath and Ryan play NCAA, I'm going to post my list.

Cartoon Heroes-

1. Batman - Even though I've probably watched and read more Superman stuff, Batman is a lot cooler than Superman. He's a rich, womanizing industrialist with all sorts of kick ass gadgets. And he fights crime without superpowers, and actually has weaknesses beyond a green rock. If he'd only ditch Robin and find a real partner.
2. Hobbes - From the Calvin and Hobbes comics. I can't think of why he is heroic, but I like him.
3. Gizmoduck - Someone at the BCM here in Ruston forgot my name and called me Gizmo, so that's why its on here. Gimme a break, we were up til 6.
4. Homer - He's always fighting the man, struggling to preserve the ideals of laziness and senseless rage, and he's funny. So there ya go.
5. Stewie - He's the baby from Family Guy bent on world domination, a child after my own heart.

not up to standards. I'll get back with it some time.

-The Barren Wasteland of Relationships
.....

:: David 7:59 PM [+] ::

Since Weasel has effectively detered any of us from really posting on the blog for this list, much like he deters women of all shapes and sizes (thereby supporting my 3rd item from the previous list), I'll post something. It's my turn, anyway. A life lesson we've learned from this last list is that lists centered around one specific person = death. I went back and read a bunch of the entries from the beginning of the blog, and now it's just got me thinking about cartoons. I like cartoons. I miss cartoons. I wish I were 5 again so I could really mindlessly sit down and watch cartoons. With that in mind, I'm going to revert back 1 and a half decades and say the new this is the top 5 cartoon/comic heroes. This can range from animated Disney movies (heroes such as Aladdin, Simba, Peter Pan, etc.), comic books and comic-based cartoons with your favorite superheroes (I had Weasel specifically in mind for this one), or even the average Joes from the animated or comic genre that might not be considered the "classic" hero, but could be seen as one (Doug, Dick Tracy, various characters from The Simpsons, Mickey Mouse, Popeye, etc.).

Good ol' cartoons. They remind us all of a better time when we could sit around and do nothing without consequence.
.....

:: Ryan 12:58 PM [+] ::

top 1 way to kill a blog where its standing:

1. see below
.....

:: the wease 1:41 AM [+] ::

Excuse the pun...

1) That's
2) Her
3) Job
.....

:: David 1:39 AM [+] ::

1) Blow
2) Me
3) Weasel

And let's not forget that one of us has a girl, and the other has Milton Bradley.
.....

:: the wease 1:36 AM [+] ::

"That's because I'm quite fond my balls being attatched to the rest of my body, as they currently have been for some time."

Bullshit. When you said "Besides, there aren't things I hate about Connie, " you proved that your balls have in fact been removed once again. Oh, you kid with her. LOOK OUT CONNIE! You don't want to be kidded.

She has to annoy you somehow, someway. If you're too scared to post it, that's fine. But don't try to pretend your balls are anywhere other than College Station.
.....

:: David 1:27 AM [+] ::

Alright, here we go, top 5 things I hate about Connie:

1) Weasel's a prick.
2) He's always trying to get me in trouble.
3) He always talks about how much he can't wait to make out with Connie by either: a) Having her cheat on me or b) Getting her to dump me. In reality, girls find Weasel highly avoidable in the romantic sense, perhaps because of apptitude for doing prickish things.
4) His fondest hobby and, in all likelihood, most serious romantic relationship to date is with Axis and Allies.
5) He doesn't like it when I call him "Birthday Buddy".

I hope everyone caught my subtle hints that my list does not, in fact, mention Connie. That's because I'm quite fond my balls being attatched to the rest of my body, as they currently have been for some time. Besides, there aren't things I hate about Connie. There are things that I kid with her about...like her sink (come on, Connie, you know what I'm talking about)...but I don't hate anything. Just like I don't really hate anything about Weasel.
.....

:: the wease 1:00 AM [+] ::

Ok, here's a list some of you have been expecting. I just hope you back me up on it. Top 5 things you hate about Connie. Go. (I'm posting last, but I call "whore")
.....

:: Ryan 1:59 AM [+] ::

wow, thanks for the superb posting times, fellas. I will continue the speedy posts....

1. make contact - most say eye contact, but i think if a girl you are getting to know does things like touch your arm while talking, or start hugging you at the end of nights, etc etc., its a good sign.


2. being a waiter, i walk past other waiters all the time, and some just walk past, and others will smile as we pass, and i will smile back. when you see someone, and just smile, no words or anything, just smile, i like that. So much is said without saying a word.


3. hanging out together - so often things begin with hangin out in groups, but it is much different when you break out and just hang out the two of you, and that is a huge step. If she didnt want anything to do with you, she would "wash her hair" 5 times a day, but if she makes the effort to hang out with you on a one on one basis more than just every once in a while, its a good sign.


4. get (as my roommate says) G'd out whenever yall hang out - G'd out means get real dressed up, like if you are about to go out on your first date with a girl, you would wear some nice clothes, smell good, etc. If she goes all out whenever she knows she will see you, and you notice this, another big plus.


5. something i really like is if a girl will grab your arm and let you escort her while walking a short distance. Its not as far as holding hands, but almost the same thing. I dont know. all these ideas are sounding as corney as can be, prolly cause i am writing them, and not saying them, but its ok, its 2 am, and i could really care less.


6. joke about being together - could be good or bad, or sometimes misleading, but its always fun when alisa IM's me and we discuss how we should get married. by the way, i would bear Alisa's children.

i think wease is up next, lets see if we can keep up this pace, i like it.
.....

:: Heath 9:02 PM [+] ::

Top Five Ways a Girl can Flirt...

1.) Say something along the lines of, "Yeah i used to have a huge crush on you." This is fairly obvious because why would she be bring this up if she didn't still have a bit of a crush on you? Think about it...if she didn't have current feelings for you, that statement would more than likely create awkwardness. So by saying that line, a girl leaves things wide open for the guy to chime in and say, "Really? I had a major crush on you too. Let's go out."

2.) She can walk back into your place of work...we'll say blockbuster in this instance...after she just finished walking out of the building after her purchase. When she approaches you, she gives you her number on a slip of paper and says, "Hey, just wanna let you know i'd really like to hang out with you sometime." Chewy, if you couldn't pick up on that...you're hopeless.

3.) After talking with you for a while, she says something along the lines of, "My parents are out of town and have this great collection of movies in their bedroom, if you wanna go take a look with me." Something like this never happens in the real world...but a guy can dream, can't he?

4.) If you're both at a party or get-together, she can stare at you the entire night and make it obvious she's interested. When you finally get the courage to talk to her, she says, "I've had a little too much to drink...would u mind driving me home?" You, without a doubt, say yes...knowing full well the only thing she was drinking all night was coke. PS..only give her a ride home if u find her attractive. If you don't, when she asks for a ride due to her over-consumption, point out how all she's been drinking is coke and that she needs to get a better pick-up line.

5.) She pinches your butt and says, "I wanna make out with you." Again, if she's hot...u accept. If she isn't, then tell her to never talk to you again, unless she becomes more attractive.
.....

:: David 5:05 PM [+] ::

As several people out there in Blogville are aware, I'm not one who picks up hints easily. Or at all. So if you're going to flirt with me, I'm usually not very receptive because I just don't know you're flirting. Coincidentally, I'm also not good at flirting in general, so it takes patience, which is why I'm surprised that Connie stayed with it and finished. Anyway, here are 5 sure-fire ways that a girl can let you, or even me, know that she digs you.

1) Lay down an obvious, obvious, pick up line. I'm not talking like "So what did you think of that quiz?" or "What did you do this weekend?" I'm talking about "Are those moon pants?" or the oh so subtle "I think you're great. I've got feelings for you. Let's go do something." I'd say that makes things fairly out in the open. It'd be hard to miss those.*

2) There's flirting, and then there's shameless flirting. When she is "so scared" during movie previews...yes, previews...that she liberally grabs your shoulder/arm/hand, then chances are she's moving in. This happened to me. It took me 15 minutes to catch on, and another 15 to do anything about it. Don't worry, ladies, other guys move faster than I do.

3) If you wake up and there's a bra on your face with a name and telephone number written on it, but you didn't go to bed with a girl nor did you wake up with one, I think that'd be a fairly strong indication that you've got an admirer (and a stalker).

4) If a girl asks you to help her out with some school work, and you meet up with her and she knows the material better than the person who wrote your textbook, then chances are that she doesn't care about the studying too much.

5) She tattoos your name to her forehead. Backwards. With a heart around it.

5a) Hit you over the head with a hammer and chain you up in her basement.

* If a girl were using the moon pants line, it'd be best to change it so that the punchline had something to do with a rocket.
.....

:: the wease 1:28 AM [+] ::

I know nothing about women. I don't get women. I don't "get" women, either. And they aren't to be trusted. I never know what's going on.

Ways a Girl Can Flirt

1. DO ANYTHING - Yes, that's right. Anything. Whatever a girl does, I probably think she's somehow flirting with me. Don't believe me? When the girl in the drive-thru makes smalltalk with me at 1am, I think that I should date her. When the bank teller uses my name during the transaction, I think, "I've still got it." When I make eye contact with a girl, I call that our first date.

Welcome to Delusionville. Population - Me.
.....

:: Ryan 1:13 AM [+] ::

now that we have 4 entries....

top 5 things a girl can do to effectively flirt, or get across to you that she has feelings for you.

123go
.....

:: the wease 12:59 AM [+] ::

I've been busy, but really I could have made time to post. I need to priorotize, and make room for the things that matter. Like posting deep dark secrets on the internet for all to read.

Ways to Make People Talk

1. Fried Gangrene Tomatoes - Use wire to cut off circulation to certain appendages, starting with a few fingers. After a few days, do things like crush them with a hammer or place cinder blocks on them. Keep tying off more appendages, let the infection spread etc etc. Promise them medical treatment if they talk.
2. The Fiery Gaze - Unless you can dig up some relatives or friends, you've only got 2 chances at this one. Gouge out one of their eyes - leave the other in so they can watch. Maybe smash their eye, or feed it to them or something. Then, get a metal ball and heat it til its red-hot. Put it in their eye socket. Repeat.
3. Tank You Very Much - Leave them in a tank full of salt water. They'll be cold, hungry, thirsty, and stewing in their own feces after a few days. And make it so they have to hold onto a bar to stay above the water line.
4. The Sound of Silence - This one's simple. Leave them in a sensory deprivation tank until they talk. If it's taking too long, just use a torture from above.
5. Queen of the Harpies - Chewy, here's the torture you told me to put on here, and since I'm out of ideas it might as well be my #5: Make them talk to Connie for 10 minutes.

So this is what it's like to post. Fascinating.
.....

:: David 7:14 PM [+] ::

I'm doing my best to come up with good stuff. Let's see what I can churn out.

1) I like this one. It's more horrible than you might think simply because it would be mentally and physically exhausting. Assuming our informant-to-be is a normal sized adult, get a metal box. The dimensions are in question just because I've never done this before, but let's say it's 4.5 feet tall and 2 feet wide. The real point is that the box isn't big enough to stand in or sit in, only big enough to allow for crouching. Now the real kicker of this personal hot box is that by touching a second side (remember, they're already touching one with their feet on the bottom), they "bridge the circuit" so to speak. A shock runs through them. I don't really know how much, that would take some tweaking, but it would be...uncomfortable. The longer they go without telling me what I want to know, the longer they get to crouch in the box. I hope you've got strong legs.

2) You'll need a miniature wood chipper for this one. This classically involves digit removal, but patiently. If at first Mr. Informant doesn't want to talk, run his finger through the mini-chipper, but only down to highest joint on the finger. So, now he's missing one-third of a finger. Take off a third at a time until you get to know what you want to know. That gives them 28 chances (the thumbs only have 2 segments a piece) to spill their conscience out to you. I wouldn't expect them to lose all of their fingers because after you remove each segment, you cauterize the wound. After all, we wouldn't want them to pass out from blood loss. If you don't know what cauterizing is, it's where you burn the opening with something extraordinarily hot in order to close the wound. Two words: Yip. Eee.

3) For those Informants with longer hair (or at least hair that's long enough), there's a fun little thing that can be tried. Human hair is actually very strong, and a full head of good hair can actually hold a very good amount of weight. Easily as much weight as a human body. String 'em up by their hair with their wrists tied behind their body for hours at a time. If the hair didn't pull out eventually, and painfully, I guess I would expect the skin on the scalp to stretch out to it's capacity and lose most of it's elasticity, leaving one loose headed person. If they have an iron will, you can add 5-10 pounds every few hours.

4) Have you ever had a live mouse in your stomach, struggling and clawing and biting as it dies in your pH-unfriendly gastric juices? Neither have I, but I'd be willing to be it isn't much fun. Of course, to get it down there it would have to be physically shoved all the way down your throat with a long rod, kind of like packing an olden day black-powder gun. I'd bet that's not much fun, either. One things for sure, though. That mouse would tear up all the tissue between your tonsils and your pyloric sphincter. But don't worry, by the time it gets into the small intestine, it's probably already dead. The only problem with this one is that there's the possibility that you'll render them mute because the animal might shred their vocal cords, so make sure you've got a pad of paper and a pen handy just in case. Repeat as necessary with animals getting larger in size each time. Rats, baby possums, squirrels...

5) If you freeze someone's foot/hand/arm/leg/special no-no zone/any other appendage with lots of liquid nitrogen, and then immediately pour hot water on it, I'm pretty sure that one of two things could happen: 1) The appendage thaws with great pain (if the nerves aren't dead). Imagine running around outside naked in sub-zero weather for 5-10 minutes, then running inside and jumping in a really hot shower...times 100. 2) The appendage explodes. Ok, maybe explodes is an exaggeration. Maybe. But I'm not so sure. A piece of ice will crack when you put it in room-tempreture water. If you're pouring 80 degree celsius (about 170 degrees fahrenheit) on an appendage that's colder than simple ice, the energy produced would be much more staggering. The water actually might need to be hotter than that, but you could just guess and check on your informant until you got the equation right. And you've got to admit, it'd be pretty cool to see a foot explode.

6) For the lightweights that would just give it up without a lot of coercion: A shave...from a blind man...with tremors.

7) For the heavyweights who won't give it up: Do all of the above things to various family members all at the same time with your champion informant watching. The 5 or 6 separate cries of anguish should be enough to mentally scar and break even the toughest person.
.....

:: Heath 5:57 PM [+] ::

Hmmm torture you say?...i think i can do this

1.) If the guy you're torturing doesn't wanna give up the information, put him in a dress and take him to the nearest prison. Tell him if he doesn't talk you throw him in the cell block with the biggest, roughest black guys. And also, tell him they haven't seen a woman for three years.
2.) Paper cuts...all over the body. In the creases of their lips, the webbing of their fingers, nipples, and any other cracks/crevices/creases that would be painful with a tiny cut.
3.) I think this would be painful...if they don't talk, tell them to life their arms up as if doing the wave at a baseball game. As they continue their silence, begin to slowly pull their arms farther and farther back, all the while keeping them straight. The sounds of their shoulders popping out of socket should ease them into conversation.
4.) I saw this in 2fast2furious recently...and don't laugh. It was better than the first one. Anyways, lay your victim down on a flat surface. Next get a metal bucket and a rat. Put the rat on your informants stomach and place the bucket over it. Then, grab the blowtorch you had lying conveniantly beside you. Begin to heat the metal bucket with the blowtorch, while firmly holding the bucket down. The rat, discovering there is no escape from the heat through the bucket, will begin to dig for another way out. Yes that's right...the rat begins to dig through the soft flesh of your human informant. It's sick...but it works.
5.) Take an aluminum bat to their kneecaps. You could add a railroad spike and use the bat as a hammer...if you wanted to.
6.) Cover the guy's body with raw meat. Then, hang him upside down with a crane over a den of lions. Lower him slowly until he decides to talk.
7.) Get a really rusty hand-saw from your garage. Tie the guy's body to a chair and just go to town on his appendages until he talks. Because the saw is old and rusty, it'll make the process even more painful for him.


I could go on..but i think i'll leave it at that.
.....

:: Ryan 12:44 PM [+] ::

today is my day off
here is your list

- i know this great way to make a bomb, heath knows this as well. i would make one, and then duct tape to whoever is going to be talking. It makes this ticking noise right before its about to blow, and if that didnt get them...Its loud as can be, and it shatters into many many pieces. it wouldnt kill them, but they wouldnt be able to hear, and they would have unbelievable pain im sure, and then we would repeat the process.

- have you ever been run over by a car? well, i ran over my mom once when i was like 5, and she said it hurt like heck, and it broke her arm. that being said, i would have someone tied between two trees, or other large objects, to where they could about 3 feet in either direction, and just start slowly approaching them with the car. im sure their strong will would get them far into the ordeal, where the car would be pressed against their body, and the three feet of slack would be taken out, and now it is just a human streching machine. I guess it would have to be an SUV, or van, so they dont just go over the hood. If all else fails, just floor it from 20 feet away and smash the crap out of them.

- cut off their fingers, one by one, asking them to talk in between....and feeding them their own fingers as you cut them. I know after I had about 4 fingers in my mouth, i would spill.

- lets say a group of people did something to a certatin someone. have a mutual friend go and get one of them, and just start driving. he will soon realize that he is being driven to the house of the individual he just harmed. He will either spill prior to getting to the house, or get the crap kicked out of him once he gets there. sound familiar? sorry crackers, im still bitter. Next time pick folks that dont spill, namely me, because a prank isnt good unless the ones who commit it arent found out.

- novacane to many different parts of the body, such as the no-no-special-place, arms, legs, stomach. if after the no no spot shot, they dont talk (they would be more of a man than i would), beat them with a hammer/baseball bat/other large object. they wouldnt feel it, but they would see their body turning black and blue, and soon, the stuff would wear off, and the sudden pain would be unbearable. plus, you get to beat someone for a good hour while watching their body turn colors bodies arent supposed to turn.

thank you, someone else post, slackers
.....

:: David 11:38 PM [+] ::

Mormors ran along the valleys like the banchee's lonely croon, and a thousand pikes were flashing BY the RISing of the moon. BY the RISing of the moon, BY the RISing of the moon. And a thousand pikes were flashing BY the RISing of the moon.

At least some of you get that. At least one, I'm sure of it.
.....

:: David 3:13 PM [+] ::

Ok, I guess I've thought of something. Weasel's twisted mind should enjoy it well enough, he'll have to do something thinking, but I'm sure we'll see some wonderful things come out of his list. Top 5 ways to get information out of someone. I'm talking torture, gentlemen. Be creative, though. Remember: torture doesn't always have to be physically painful. Try to be original, that is to say, don't fall back on the classics. Sure, we all think bamboo chutes through the fingernails, Chinese water torture, and testicular zapping work really well, but those have been done. Feel free to incorporate them somehow if you feel like it, though.

Like I said, I expect Weasel to shine on this list. He's been thinking about doing this kind of stuff to his enemies since he was 7. Heath, you should do well, too. You're pretty sick.
.....

:: Heath 2:55 PM [+] ::

Who's up next?
.....

:: Heath 2:54 PM [+] ::

-Chewy: His head is too big...literally. But he is goin out with mrs. surething, so he can't be all that bad. :)
-Weas: Same thing Chewy said about him. I'd hate to have a curfew and Nazi parents like he has. My I were in his place, the parents would have probably been found in the backyard by now.
-Ryan: Because i'd hate to have to make up excuses as to why i lose to Heath in NCAA football.
-Monte from up at school: He tore his ACL. I never want something like that to happen to me.
-Connie: because she gets upset too easily...like she did when i referred to her as mrs. surething. Ya know i'm kidding connie
.....

:: Ryan 1:33 PM [+] ::

• David - when heath gets in the mood to rant on him


• Me - when it comes to going to class, or getting out of school in under 15 years


• Heath - when he realizes he can't beat me with anyone but K State in NCAA


• Connie - who works to go at olive garden, and is slightly.....big bodied....and is slow as get out. not just slow like most large people are, i mean takes her sweet damn time to do everything, including walking. If she has to go from one side of the kitchen to the other thru the alley that isnt that big, not only does she take up the whole damn isle, but she takes about one step every three seconds. She even talks slow. Whenever she is not around, EVERYONE talks of her, and its sad, but extreamly funny at the same time.


• beats me - another gimp list from me.

.....

:: the wease 7:16 PM [+] ::

I'm having trouble with this list, but I'll give it the old college try:

People I Don't Want to Be

1) Tim (my roommate) - Even though he's got a woman and I don't, I wouldn't want to be him. He's struggling through school, and if he doesn't make some good grades he won't get into his major and will fail out. Too much pressure, and he's going to have to study.
2) Chewy, for obvious reasons.
3) Bob Hope - he's like dead and stuff
4) Tanner Boyd - this is based on one very important assumption. Chewy, can you verify this? I believe Tanner only has one ball.
5) A stupid person - there are too many of them to single any one out, but I couldn't stand being stupid. I'm already lazy. I can't afford stupidity.
.....

:: David 4:22 PM [+] ::

When making a list such as this, one must consider many factors and how much they mean to you. Weight, intelligence, position in life, and likeability are all very important things to consider. That having been said, I just picked 5 people off the top of my head.

1) Tanner Boyd - Welcome to a world of pain. Tanner likes to punish himself by being not only an electrical engineering major (notoriously the most difficult engineering discipline at UT), but is also a pre-med and works as an EMT. To top it off, he's a Hellraiser (for those of you who don't know who the Hellraisers are, they're the guys at UT football games who paint their faces and chests and scream obscenities for the duration of the game, especially when the other school's band is on the field. They're extremely obnoxious, and I haven't met anyone who really likes them as a group all that much...but to keep from getting beat up, I'll say that I'm sure they're a great bunch of guys...or something). Did I mention he's taking the MCAT this August? I'm glad I'm not him.

2) You. Yes, you. Don't play dumb.

3) At this very moment, I wouldn't want to be Ryan. He's working a double today. Plus, I'm not exactly a big fan of Louisiana. No offense. Oh, and when he goes home, he's got to put up with Logan pissing his dad off all the time. I've been around that a couple of times, and let me just say that it isn't pretty.

4) Weasel. For a couple of reasons. First, his parents hate him. I mean, they must what with all the rules and stipulations they put on him...as if you were a 5 year old girl. Maybe they just wish he was a 5 year old girl. Either way, when someone is 20, they shouldn't have an 11:30 curfew. Second, he goes to a school where all of the girls are a) dancers or b) rich spoiled daddy's girls. On the level of incredibly stupid things that get uttered around that campus, I'm surprised Weasel hasn't either shot someone else or himself. However, there is a redeeming side to this otherwise horrible fate. That is that dancers are flexible and the girls are RICH (notice the key word). As an added bonus, the varitable living atm machine that is SMU apparently also houses some of the loosest crackwhores this side of Mississippi. I'm sure that that at least makes things almost tolerable for Weas.

5) If you'll notice, I've listed two of the other 3 bloggers for this page. I'm not going to list Heath because he has the luck of a teenage girl and, for some strange reason, women seem to flock to him like sand to a butt crack. So really, there's no viable reason why I could list him. So instead, I'll have to say my genetics prof, Dr. Pierson. He is in his early 50's, has lost a good amount of his hair, looks somewhat grizzled most of the time, took something just shy of two decades to complete his doctorate in biology, raised a couple of small chickens in his apartment, and (go figure) isn't married. He's a real nice guy, though. I say that as if it mattered.

I forgot. Weasel's also in Lubbock right now. Just one more reason why I wouldn't want to be him.

I thought I was going to be disappointed with my list, but after having made it, I'm fairly content with it. It'll do.
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:: David 3:55 PM [+] ::

I'm not sure, but I think she means applesauce. I guess she's been hungry or something.
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:: Heath 5:07 PM [+] ::

Side note...

Chewy, according to Connie's blog, ya'lls relationship deserves a round of "applase". Not sure if she meant applesauce or applause or some word i've never heard of. But congrats.
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:: David 12:58 AM [+] ::

Geez, Weasel, you need to pay some attention here. Heath and I switched spots last time because he had a list ready and he didn't want to forget it. Now you just jumped the gun and forced him to go early. Shame on you, and your injust lack of patience.
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:: Heath 12:29 AM [+] ::

Well i thought Chewy was gonna post one...BUT, if you insist on me i'm gonna make it hurt...

So, the new list is...

Top 5 people you know personally that you would hate to be...for any reason
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:: the wease 2:56 PM [+] ::

Heath, list, now
.....

:: the wease 3:54 PM [+] ::

Now we can move this board along, get this ugly list behind us. I'm a very angry person, but it's hard to remember specifics. Let's try it anyway....

1) Ben Palatiere and Cody Robinson always picked on my in 6th grade English. I wanted to kick their asses, but I weighed about 42 lbs back then.
2) Freshman year I was on a religious message board kick...I even suckered Ryan and Heath into a few posts before it died. But there were some people, and some things that were said that were so illogical, incoherent, and hate-filled that I literally would jump up from the computer in a fit of rage and pace around the room until it subsided.
3) My brother and I used to fight all the time. So...all those times we were beating each other up I wanted to beat him up.
4) Let's go ahead and put losing on here, even though the only person I'm mad at then is myself.
5) I got into a fight with my neighbor, Matt Taylor, years ago. I don't remember why, but I do remember his older brother coming over to back him up. That's when I suddenly heard my mother calling.

I was an angry little bastard. Ryan, I'm addicted to NCAA football 04. I've played through almost 3 seasons in 2 weeks. I know and care nothing about football, but my fake dynasty team is very important to me. (The Suburbans from Spring)

Who's got next?
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:: Ryan 1:49 AM [+] ::

explain "NCAA addict", wease ?
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:: Heath 1:16 AM [+] ::

Hmm David seems upset...here's my list, dedicated to the three of you....minus Chewy.

1.) People at blockbuster: In general. Especially the ones where i'll scan their movies, hit the total button, ask for their money, and they'll see that they don't have enough...making my life more difficult and the others waiting in line. I must then void the movies they don't want, give them a dirty look, and say, "Have a nice day," in my most unsincere voice.
2.) People that cut me off on the road: I just hope they like the finger.
3.) People that use characters such as $%*& instead of real curse words.
4.) When people call up to work to ask for another store's number...and right as i start giving it they say, "Wait let me get a pen." Why can't you *#$%@^ just be ready when u call me.
5.) Stupid hoes
6.) Confused hoes.
7.) Parents that bring their kids to the store, knowing full well the child wreaks of fecal matter.
8.) Losing...at anything.
9.) People who say they're retired from certain video games because they're too lazy to improve.
10.) People who lie.
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:: David 9:52 PM [+] ::

Is anyone other than Ryan and me going to post here? Let's get some &*#^ing posts up so we can move this $#&*ing thing the @^&* along before I have a *@#$^#$%*@ aneurism. *&@%$^ *&#@ &^$%@&!* **@#^$*&# ^%@ *&#$^@.
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:: Ryan 8:09 PM [+] ::

I dont get mad often, so this was difficult, thus my delay, but lets not look backwards, lets look forward.


1. stupid drivers - more specificly, those who use the left lane for slowing me down, rather than passing.


2. The people last night at olive garden who ordered an appitizer, ate it. ordered wine, and drank it, ordered food, then picked up and walked out before they got it....and before paying...and before leaving a tip.


3. Chris Welch, after what he did over Christmas break my senior year. I dont even know if any of you know about this one. I would have broke his gay @#$ in half.

Im gonna post this for now, just to get a post out there, but its all i can think of for now. more to come, maybe.
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:: the wease 2:20 PM [+] ::

"-People who pick on people maliciously with no other intent than to make the kid's life hell and entertain themselves. "

Ouch, Chewy. That hurts.
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:: David 12:46 AM [+] ::

This is going to be short, sweet, and crappy (and, since I accidentally closed the window while I was typing this the first time, revised):

-People who like to talk loudly and say stupid things (BJ Schaffer immediately comes to mind).
-People who say "dude" or "like" 30 times in a sentence. See above. It's as if they're trying to create an extended simile. Like, dude, you know what I mean?
-Stupid drivers who do dangerous things because they're stupid.
-Old people who drive 20 mph slower than the limit.
-People who pick on people maliciously with no other intent than to make the kid's life hell and entertain themselves.

Fin.
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:: the wease 4:27 PM [+] ::

Ok, here's a violent, malicious list to relieve the insatiable rage that boils up inside all of us....growing stronger and stronger with each passing day.....having no outlet....eating you away from the inside until the inevitable day you snap and rip out the still-beating heart of the person standing next to you.

Top 5 times you've wanted to beat up or kill or hurt someone physically. (or for the women out there, emotionally) GO!
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:: Ryan 9:26 PM [+] ::

First off, it has been custom for whoever posts the list to post theirs last, so i have been checking up each day, and geuss who was keeping me from posting. He posted yesterday, and i worked a lock in from 6 pm til 7 am this morning, and now you will get my list, so clam up.

worst on the job moments

1. We'll start with the lube, and say although the pay was great, i wasted many a year there. I went through 7 managers in 5 years. Some of my favorite memories include every 5th customer who said "30 dollars!?!?!? last time i came in here it was $15!?!?!?!?", at which point i informed them that they were an idiot, and i had been working here for five years, and it had been the same price for all 5 of them. Even better was the guy who someone forgot to put a sticker in his car, so he decided to pull back around, into the bay going about 30 miles an hour as i was walking across it. My manager jumped in front of the car screaming at him to stop, and once he did, with a surprised look on his face, as if he didnt know he was flying through, my manager went up to the door, opened it, said "dont you ever do that *&$% again, now keep on drivin and get the @$!% outta here." i was still standing in the same spot that i was whenever the whole thing began. Maybe my most favorite lube story was when i was an AGM under Steve, and a Midget couple brought in their mini-van. Everything was fine until I went to cash them out, with Steve working at the desk behind me, and Mrs. Midget paid with a check, and I asked for her drivers license number. She refused, saying we didnt have it posted anywhere that we needed it, at which point i showed her where it was posted. Then she said that she wouldnt give it out, because I would try to steal her identity, and I just laughed, trying to think how I could pull off being a 4 foot tall woman. after a few more minutes of similar banter, Steve just jumped up and started yelling, as he is prone to do with his short temper, saying in various ways that she just give her DL number and leave and never come back, and then ended a comment by calling her husband "little man". THe whole time I am wanting to crack up and instead I am trying to calm steve down, and end up ushering him out of the room, and eventually getting little-bit's DL#.


2. His Word - i could list things about certain customers who come in, or people that worked there, but instead, I will surpass everything I could ever put by telling this story. Back in the gap, every girl had the hots for JB, including JB's current significant other, Amber, and Nicole, a daughter of one of one of the employees, as well as being a part time employee herself. One night, they were all working, and Nicole and Amber were both taking their turns throwing game at him, when nicole went back into the back room at one point, and Amber saw her time to shine, and shine she did. So much so, that when Nicole came back out of the back room, she was so furious, that she yelled out "WHY DON'T YOU GET OFF HIS NUTS AND LEAVE". Thats right, on a busy weekend night, in the Christian Coffeeshop, and she yelled very loudly why dont you just get off his nuts and leave. That, ladies and gents, is the best.


3. Olive garden - there are several things that have happened, such as people leaving me no tip for their food taking to long to cook, as if i was back there taking so long to cook it, or people asking me what dressing we have, me naming off "ranch, italian, and honey dijon", then the customer asking for blue cheese, but none can compare to that last story, so I'll just end here.

.....

:: the wease 7:10 PM [+] ::

It's my ball, but I won't bounce it until Ryan posts his late list. Let's hope he gets around to it sometime this week....man, I thought Heath held things up.

And does anybody have any ideas for a list? I left my thinking cap at home.
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:: David 6:28 PM [+] ::

Ryan is the last one, and it's his very own list. Who's list is next, anyway? Weasel, I do believe it is your ball.
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:: Heath 4:55 PM [+] ::

Hmmm...this is a tough one....mainly because although i complain about my jobs in general, pinpointing certain events are kinda tough...but i'll try nonetheless.

1.) Pappasitos, in general: I say in general because i hated the place. Today, i call it hell. I didn't mind the tips, but what i did mind was the military approach management took about the restaurant. Never occurred to them that maybe a more cheerful waiter would bring better service. It's no wonder people go through there like a revolving door.
2.) Blockbuster incident #1: This guy came in with his girlfriend...i told him he had a late fee and he asked what movie and what day it was turned in, etc.. Well, i told him the movie was due before noon on a certain day and he turned it in that afternoon. And he said, verbatim, "Well that's probably ya'll's mistake so you can take that off." He said it as if i was going to, without a doubt. I shot him this mean look and shook my head...and he said, "don't get angry." And i returned that comment with, "No i'm not angry...tired is more like it. I have to deal with people exactly like you everyday who don't think they do anything wrong." He walked out mad, and I, for some reason, was even more mad. I hate people.
3.) Reffing at school: I was reffing a bball game that included a senior who was pretty much the right-hand man to the intramural coordinator. So he thought he was big stuff and knew everything about everything in reffing. Well, this guy is a rather clumsy basketball player, and has trouble moving laterally. Anywho, i called him twice for blocking because he kept sliding his knee to the side, trying to catch the guy dribbling. He would then fall on the ground as if he took a dramatic charge. Well, he didn't like my way of reffing, and went on to insult me the entire game after those two calls against him. Every call i made, he, and pretty soon, his entire team would give me crap because they all thought they were entitled to a little more leniency. Oh well, they lost...and that guy's still overweight.
4.) Blockbuster incident #2: This isn't as much an incident as it is a general venting about a fella named Shannon. He is the laziest person i've ever met in my life, save for his wife, who is even more lazy than him. Why God put those two together i will never know. I really don't see how their kids get fed. Anyways, Shannon takes a smoke break every half hour, sits behind the managers desk eating chips or candy he doesn't pay for, and occasionally pops his tub of lard body out to give free movies/candy away to any girl over the age of 8 who looks relatively attractive. When he's not being busy eating or trying feably to set up a statutory rape appointment, he can be found telling a story to anyone who will listen. The story is always set back in his days from high school, and always ends with some girl that he did. No one believes him because he is unattractive and gives a bad name to white trash. I hate his voice, his stench of cigarette smoke, and his fatness.
5.) Cavewear: Yeah i worked there years ago. I hated the clothes and i hated having to sell them. I now have about two drawers in my dresser containing nothing but this brand of clothing. So if anyone needs t-shirts, towels, car wash rags, or ultra thick toilet paper...lemme know.

K those are the best i can do guys...sorry to disappoint.
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:: the wease 5:31 PM [+] ::

I think all of my worst job moments will come from the radio station. I've fucked a lot of stuff up.

1) I left someone on air, but she thought she was clear, and she started badmouthing the very restaurant where they were on location. The worst part is, I didn't even realize it. Someone had to tell me a few days later.
2) Dead air - I've had too much
3) I called Lubbock's Congressman by the wrong name. (It's Larry, NOT Gary!)
4) I haven't completed numerous newscasts in time, and have had to replay stale old ones from earlier in the day.
5) Today I was too slow editing the audio from the Patrick Dennehy press conference and didn't get a cut of it on the air in time.
6) Although it wasn't a job, sound for Joseph was a train wreck. I suffered through that.

It's all very frustrating. But this is my first real job, with pressure and consequences. If I screwed up the filing at the office no one cared. I'm sure there are all sorts of valid life lessons here, but I refuse to learn them.
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:: David 12:10 AM [+] ::

My time in the workforce has been limited. Once I start at the hospital in the fall, I'll bet that I'll have some more cool things to talk about. And when I have been, I haven't had to deal with alot of people, so my list will suck.

1) Dealing with Mr. Cox - His last name describes everything you need to know about how he treats his employees (and people in general).

2) People trading in books - So at the bookstore, we not only sold books, but also bought used ones. Much to the dismay of a few people (namely one weird old man), I didn't personally handle this. I had to inform them that I didn't do that, but Terri (who did) would be in the next day to take care of it. Most of the time, the people were begrudgingly accepting of this. Sometimes, as in the case with old weird guy, they were a little less enthused with the plan. And spoke to me about it. Openly. What this guy didn't seem to understand is, and here's the crucial part, THAT I COULDN'T DO IT! It wasn't that I didn't feel like it or just didn't like him, so I wouldn't do it. I could not check in the books. Get it straight, moron.

3) People trading in lots of books - Have you ever had to unload 15 to 20 boxes full of books from a redneck's pick-up? I have.

4) People wanting to know if we have books - If you're bright, and most people aren't, then you'll look at Copperfield's and see a little "Mom 'n' Pop" kind of place. Not only that, but the constant influx and selling of books made it hard to keep much of an inventory. And if one more person told me that we should keep one on the computer, I was likely to speak my mind that yes, that would be good, and no, you aren't the first person that ever thought of that. Bottom line: only 4 people work there + small business + one (non-business oriented) computer + nobody cares = we don't have a computer inventory, so go piss in your hat if you've got a problem with it.

5) Dealing with Mr. Cox - I know I already put this one on here as my number 1, but it was so awful that it derserves to be on here twice. Did I mention his first name is Buel? Did I mention that 100% of the people I've met that are named Buel are morons who own questionable flower shops? He actually owns two, and the other is downtown next to a cemetary (and it's actually really close to my mom's house). Point of this is that when we had flowers that were too dead for us to use (and that meant they had to be fairly dead), we'd send them over to that shop. I'm telling you, this guy is...quite a businessman.
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:: Ryan 11:21 PM [+] ::

alright fellas. to go along with my new job, please give me a list of top 5 worst things you have done/have happened to you while on the job. I think I can pick my top five all out of my first two weeks here at Olive Garden, as waiting tables gives you so many opportunities to make a goat out of yourself. Hook it up.
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:: David 12:39 PM [+] ::

I actually had a list that was somewhat of a success. It makes me feel so alive. I'd better post before too much longer or you guys will get impatient. Besides, I have to study anyway, so I'll just do it now.

1) "I don't care about money/a nice car/a big house/that hideous scar on your face. I'll love you no matter what." - Ok. So let's see what happens when you've got no job, a 1984 Cadillac with no muffler or AC, live in a shack, and you tell her that the scar on your face is actually as good as it will ever look since the plastic surgery to remove the crowbar and shovel (it's a long story). She'll leave one day to go "run an errand" and you'll never see her again. If they didn't care about those things, guys like Donald Trump and Bill Gates would be lonely, lonely men. This lie is usually followed immediately by...

2) "I'm attracted to your personality/who you are as a person." - See above.

3) "Oh, don't worry, he doesn't even compare to you." - This can mean one of two things. 1) He doesn't compare to you because he's so much better than you it's ridiculous to try and compare. 2) This is more likely. He compares to you, and boy has she already thought of in what ways. Doesn't matter who this guy is: ex, friend, random guy, celebrity. The minute she looked at him, she started comparing him to you. And here's a tip: Chances are she can only think of the ways in which you come up short. Lucky you.

4) "You're better than he is/was/will ever be." - Once again, this can be two fold. She could be saying this because she honestly believes it, although erroneously in some respects because she's bias to you (if you're lucky). More than likely, she's just saying it because if she were to say "You're not as good as he is/was/will be," she'd be in Dumpsville with only her own money to spend. (Note: What you're "better" at than the guy in question can be anything, ranging from checkers to getting busy. The point is that she's got to make you think that she doesn't think about this other guy because you're tops...and because she's connected directly to your wallet.)

5) "I don't mind if you hang out with her. Really, it's ok." - It's not ok. For the love of God, don't do it. "Her" can be just a friend, not even an ex or anything, she could be freakishly tall and weigh 400 pounds, but it's still comparable to stepping into a bear trap the size of Montana. And God help you if you end up paying for anything, even if it is just a loan. The next day, expect this other girl to have been murdered where she sleeps and yourself to have a crowbar and a shovel implanted firmly in your face.
.....

:: the wease 12:10 PM [+] ::

Woa, "jigga," if that is your real name.....Ryan. Slow down, son. Chewy still has to post his worst lies list. Let me start you off, Chewy:

"Don't worry, it's just a church retreat."
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:: Ryan 9:40 AM [+] ::

i am about to go to work, so ill make this quick.

1. nothing - i know its already been used, but its the one that stuck out in my head, so im putting it here.


2. I had a great time - "dont call me again"


3. I dont want the ring, i just want to be engaged - but we arent getting married unless i have one that covers 3 fingers


4. We can go dutch- If I pay, this will be our last date


5. We need to talk - "I need to talk".

I know, this is quite possibly one of my worst posts ever, but I dont want to hold up the blog, but now, I have to go to work. Is it my turn to toss up a list again?
.....

:: the wease 4:18 PM [+] ::

Seinfeld knows everything. And damn you, Heath, for taking all the classics. Well, most of them....

Lies from Women

1.) "Nothing," said in response to the question "What's wrong?" Guys, if you're even asking her what's wrong, then something IS wrong. For every signal you've picked up on, there are 82 you've missed. Seriously - these aren't my numbers. Argue with UC Berkeley.
2.) "Oh, you don't have to get me a present" - BULLLLLLSHIT! Run, boy! Run to the store as fast as you can! My friend Susannah actually told this to her boyfriend for Valentine's Day, and when she didn't get anything she came crying to me and Tim (mostly Tim). Why? Because he could have "at least sent her flowers or something." FYI: Flowers don't count as a present.
3.) "You should go out with your friends. I want you to have a good time" - This lie* is 2-fold. First of all, she doesn't want you to go out with them, she's testing you to see if you'll be "spontaneous" (screw your buddies over) and stay with her. Second of all, if you do go out with them, she wants you to be MISERABLE. Why? Because you're not with her, of course.
* If she's cheating on you, part I is true. But she still wants you to have a bad time.
4.) "Oh, Oh, ahhhh, oooooh, OOOH, oh baby yeah...yes! YES! YES!"
5.) General rule of thumb - Everything she tells you is a lie, unless you have specific evidence to the contrary.

Good list, Chewy. I had fun.
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:: Heath 2:09 AM [+] ::

Hmm I'll be honest and say this wasn't the easiest list to post...so i apologize in advance if it doesn't meet up to usual standards.

Top 5 Lies Women Tell Men

1.) "Size doesn't matter"- Pshh...we're too dumb to fall for that one ladies. Every guy knows that size does in fact matter, and the ones that believe it doesn't...well let's just say they're trying to self-assure themselves due to (cough cough) shortcomings. So let it be known to all men...size does matter and SHAME ON YOU WOMEN for trying to give some poor saps false hope.

2.) "It's not you...it's me"- I feel that my thoughts about this topic would best be expressed by a dialogue from a Seinfeld episode. It goes as follows...

girlfriend: "George, things just aren't working out. It's not you...it's me"
George: "Wait a second. You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' speech? I INVENTED the 'It's not you, it's me' speech. Believe me, if it's anybody, IT'S ME!!"
girlfriend: "Okay, it is you."
George: "You're darn right it's me."

Nuff said...we move on.

3.) "We're just hanging out as friends"- This line is used when your woman wants to hang out with another guy that she has the hots for, but she doesn't want to break up with you because you still buy her stuff. Ya see, by calling him a friend, it gives her the green light to hang out with him, and makes us look like jerks for even hinting we're uncomfortable with the situation. I give girls that use this credit because in reality, that line's a stroke of genius. Vindictive snakes.

4.) "I just want to be friends"- Yet again, another stroke of genius. Yes, of course, sometimes it's the truth. But many times, it happens that a girl will say this, just to buy herself time to discover whether she really has feelings for you or not, AND at the same time, testing the limits of your feelings for her. By uttering this lie, she can buy weeks, even months, and use that time to flirt with and internally destroy a guy.

5.) This last one is more a general rule of thumb- Whenever you're dating a girl, and it gets to that point in a relationship where you both ask one another how many people you've made out with, girls will more often than not give a low number. They do this so they can fulfill their innate desire to be less of a lip-slut than the guy they're dating. So, fellas, when a girl tells you how many guys she's been to second base with, you, in turn, multiply that number by approximately 3. That number will give you her actual make-out partner count. (PS...Also, if you take that number you got when you multiplied by three, and divide that by the square root of how hot she is on a scale from one to ten (in reverse order for this, one being the hottest), it is my theory that you will find how many times she has lied about her actual make-out partner number)

Hope all that math didn't confuse you all too much.

And girls that just read this, i know it's tough to stomach the thought that your secrets have been exposed for all our readers to see. But, suck it up and take it like a man...this day was bound to come sooner or later.
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:: David 10:18 PM [+] ::

That means it's my turn to come up with a list. Luckily for me, one popped into my head last night and I don't think it's too horribly crappy. The top 5 lies that women tell men (that's right, ladies, we know you're lying). We've got lots to choose from, so take your time to make sure you come up with the 5 that are right for you.
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:: Heath 8:33 PM [+] ::

This list has been everything i'd hoped it would be. And i've kept you waiting long enough for mine...so here we go. Five worst ways to break up with someone:

1.) Walk up to your woman with arms outstretched and fingers rolled into fists. With a big smile on your face, tell her to choose one. In each hand, you put a piece of paper with a written message. On one piece, you write, "I hate you...we're breaking up," and on the other you write, "You've never been that attractive to me...it's over." She'll read one of those and most likely storm off mad. If, however, she wonders what you had in the hand she did not choose, you might as well show her the other message cuz you're no longer getting any from her.

2.) On her birthday, do something special for her and make her a cake. After all, it is her day. In fact, go the extra length to ask her what flavor cake she wants. After baking it, you must now put the icing on. Mix it up, and as you're doing so, throw in that spare vile of herpes you have lying around. Get into her house with that spare key she undoubtedly gave you, and place the cake on the table with a note saying, "May the memory of this special day live with you for the rest of your life." (PS...if u don't have herpes lying around, ask to borrow some from one of your three friends or just substitute some other ingredient like AIDS or razor blades....man i'm sick)

3.) When you two are having a really romantic night, slip a mickey in her drink and call over your local, corrupt tattoo artist. Give him a couple hundred and tell him to give her a special tattoo. When she wakes up with, "WHITE SUPREMACY FOREVER," across her forehead, she'll probably figure out it's over between you both.

4.) Before she leaves for work one day, give her a mix tape you made especially for her. But tell her you want her to listen to it about ten minutes after she leaves the house so you can be in your car on your way to work imagining her listening to it (PUHLEASE...you only want that extra ten minutes to know for a fact she'll be on the freeway). Anyways, when she puts the tape in, your voice comes on and says, "Sweetie, i hate your cuts. And no this is not a joke...that is why i cut your brakeline once you reached a speed of 65 miles per hour...which, in fact, should be right about now. Man i'm glad i'm not you."

5.) (This last one was inspired by Scrubs) When you two are fooling around, make the move for the bedroom. Say you wanna try something kinky and you wanna tie her up. When she complies and is in restraints on the bed, go get a big plate of cheese from the fridge. Cover every single square inch of her body with slices of good 'ole American cheese. When she realizes this isn't sexy at all, that's when you go into the hall closet and get the cage of rats you've been raising, waiting for this moment. Set them free and lock the door behind you. (PS: you may have wanted to gag her so no one could hear the bloodcurtling screams) (PPS: this is better done at her place than yours so as not to mess up anything of importance to you)


K that's it...i apologize to anyone who's disgusted b/c frankly, i dislike myself for what i wrote...:)
.....

:: David 6:02 PM [+] ::

Oh where to begin. I'd first like to say that I'm sure the girls out there can easily think up worse ways than anything we can think of because women have the whole edge of being inherently evil. Now, on to the fun.

1. Tell her you'd really like to stay, but that your babies' mommas (note the plural) are hot on your track and you've got to go lay low for awhile because "if they prove I'm the father of those little bastards, I'll have to pay child support."

2. Present her with a restraining order...without provocation...or warning.

3. Leave subtle hints around her place. You know, things like a picture of the two of you with darts strategically placed in her face and chest. Or a voodoo doll of her with pins in the eyes. Or hang all of her stuffed animals (because let's face it, she probably has more than a few) in nooses from the ceiling fan after ripping holes in them. But here's the kicker: if she asks you about any of it, tell her it was the dog. If she doesn't have a dog, that makes it even better.

4. Take her out for a romantic evening, and when she thanks you for it at the end and tells you how much she enjoyed it, remark, "Yeah, me too. I had some free time tonight because my hooker told me she was taking some time off, so I thought to myself 'What the hey, I'll take the little lady out somewhere nice so she'll get off my back.'" She'll undoubtedly ask about the hooker first. When she does so, calm her down by letting her know that it's not really a hooker, Debbie from the office just likes to roleplay.

5. You know the angry dragon? I'll let you fill in the rest from there.

Honorable Mention: "It's not me. It's you."
.....

:: the wease 4:03 PM [+] ::

Being at work, now is the perfect tme to waste a few minutes posting my list. Otherwise I'd have to do something.

Ways to dump her sorry ass*

*if her ass isn't sorry, then why are you dumping her?

1. Murder her pets....and mail them back to her.
2. Go on a romantic weekend getaway, and GET AWAY! before she can get in the car.
3. Tell her she's fat.
4. Tell her you want to get married, not because you love her, but because you, "need a tax break. And no, of course we won't live together."
5. Buy a Hallmark card that says somethng like, "You're my one true love. You make the sun shine brighter, the birds sing sweeter, and every day of my life better. Our love will last forever." Then, use a magic marker to write "PSYCH!" in big black letters.
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:: Ryan 3:37 PM [+] ::

I like this, but by being the "top 5 worst ways to break up with a girl", it also is sort of the "top 5 best ways to break up with a girl". Think about it... You would always have the story to tell, and a year down the road, you and your 3 friends could sit and laugh about it...onto my totally untrue 5 ways to break up with a girl.

1. Just stop talking to her. Avoid her at all costs. Don't answer your phone, get your roommates to, and if it's her, get them to say a fine array of excuses, such as "he's in the shower", "OH! You just missed him", etc etc. If you see her walking anywhere near you, turn the direction away from her, and pick up your pace. Sure, it will take an extra ten minutes to get to class, but you cant have any contact with her for at least two months. Hopefully, by the she will get the picture, and whenever you see each other past then, it will just be one big uncomfortable moment, full of glares and cuss words said under your breath.


2. Start dating her best friend - better yet, dont date her, just make out with her. If you have a "trooper" on your hands, one willing to "work through this", i guess you are going to have to go ahead and seal the deal.....with her best friend....and her sister. If she still wants to stay together after this....why do you want to break up with her??? You are in a situation where you have a girlfriend, and get to have other girlfriends, and have her not get upset about it. I'm sure it will all boil over at one point, and you will get a request to go on Jerry Springer, but until then, milk it for all it is worth.


3. Keep talking about your X, and how great that thing she did with her tongue is....i mean was.

I can only think of three for now, as they come to me though, I will post them.
.....

:: Heath 12:00 AM [+] ::

While waiting for Chewy to post his list, i came up with a good one i think. This should provide us with a few laughs.

The List: Top Five Worst Ways to Break Up with a Girl
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:: the wease 7:13 PM [+] ::

Yeah, Ryan, that was pretty good. I got caught up fighting with Heath, and forgot to give you props. Chewy or Heath, call the next list.
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:: David 6:36 PM [+] ::

By the way:

XVI - Thou shalt not get on the elevator on a floor, then get off the elevator one floor later...morons. This is a job for a stairway.
XVII - Thou shalt wait to enter the elevator until all that are exiting it have done so.
XVIII - Silly rabbit, Trix beith for kids.
XIX - Some assembly required, batteries not included.
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:: David 6:29 PM [+] ::

"The female that teases shall be the female that pleases."

That, my friend Ryan, is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
.....

:: the wease 2:59 PM [+] ::

You should. I get tired of beating Tim at everything all the time, and the girls are much hotter.
.....

:: Heath 2:58 PM [+] ::

good point...maybe i'll transfer

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:: the wease 2:58 PM [+] ::

All they see are my grades
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:: Heath 2:57 PM [+] ::

For what?...twenty-something thousand a year?...they should be
.....

:: the wease 2:56 PM [+] ::

Yeah, my parents are proud.
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:: Heath 2:54 PM [+] ::

I occassionally need statements like that to help me focus better...i mean, it's not like we all go to SMU to major in video game playing.
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:: the wease 2:51 PM [+] ::

I don't remember that so well. I blocked it out. But if you wouldn't have died so fast, maybe things would have turned out differently.

And let's not forget your famous quote," I won't lose again."
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:: Heath 2:48 PM [+] ::

Eh i think we all have broken it except for Chewy, for obvious reasons. That commandment was made to serve as something to strive to attain. I got the idea when i thought about how we lost to Chewy and Tim because you couldn't beat Tim one on one at the end. It was as if your entire world crumbled that very second. Sad, really.
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:: the wease 2:17 PM [+] ::

Wow, Heath. You didn't make a commandment about going to Lubbock. I'm surprised you took the high road this time. And I think you've broken your commandment XV a few thousand times.
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:: Ryan 11:37 AM [+] ::

oh wow@i wake up today and heath has already posted. im amazed. onto my list...full of made up old-timer words and all, but im sure you will catch on.

XI - If thoustist a female, as well as attractive, thou mustn't smoke, resist being struck immediatly by lightning.
XII - If thoum interuptus in excess, receive a big boot up thine tail while sleeping.
XII - The female that teases shall be the female that pleases. (I am a fricken Genius.)
XIV - If Jigga-alla-Blogger says "we only have italian, ranch, and honey dijon", you mustn't be an moron, and ask for bleu cheese.
XV - Thoseum who playeth hard to get...will get got...with the anger of 1000 angry dragons...got it?

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:: Heath 2:21 AM [+] ::

Never passing up the opportunity to imitate the powers of God, i give you my list...(this was a good one Weas...i like):

XI: Women shalt always initiate conversation with men
XII: Thou shalt never lie about turning your movies in on time when it is quite obvious thou did not.
XIII: Thou shalt always shower before wanting to cuddle with your woman/man
XIV: Thou shalt not allow theyself to become a fatty
XV: Thou shalt never go into a Super Smash Brothers match overconfident
XVI: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife...unless she's extremely attractive and/or flirtatious
XVII: Thou shalt get a life besides this blog, Michael Snyder

Okay i added a few...and i may even edit it later on if i think of more. Sue me.

.....

:: David 12:26 AM [+] ::

What they never told you is that Moses left a tablet atop the mountain. I mean, after all, those big stone tablets are heavy, and they didn't stress weight training in the olden days. Just for good measure, I threw in a bonus one. And with a mighty rip through the sky that sounds like the unzipping of the fly of the Lord Almighty (is there anyone reading this that knows where I got that?), here they are:

XIa - Thou shalt not smoke. (Thou shalto no fumar.)
XIb - Thou shalt not bare theyself falsely to others.
XII - Thou shalt not grow a mullet.
XIII - The left lane is for driving.
XIV - Thou shalt not be ditzy for it is truly heinous.
XV - Woman, hold thy tongue. (Imagine Charlton Heston saying that one. Glorious, just glorious.)

By the way, the afore mentioned Lord's fly came from Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five if anyone cared to know, but I know no one did care to know.
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:: the wease 4:27 PM [+] ::

Commandments XI-XV (11-15 for you unschooled persons)

XI - Women shalt not lead a man on unless lying with him as his wife
XII - Give not thy trust to a tearful woman
XIII - The left lane is for passing only
XIV - Thou shalt not endanger other men when imbibing alcohol or other party-riffic substances
XV - Thou shalt be prompt in all thy postings, Heath Ceren
.....

:: the wease 3:56 PM [+] ::

Pretty harsh, Heath. I'm proud. This next list is either hit or miss, but since it's all I have in mind let's hope it hits.

We all know, or at least know of, the 10 Commandments. Some of you follow them, some of us don't. But we all have our own moral system that extends beyonds the original 10 commandments. (And before you attack me, yes - "none" is a moral system) Well, God has asked you to add 5 rules from your own righteous life to the tablets. These can be funny, or they can be important rules of right and wrong that aren't in the original 10.
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:: David 9:50 AM [+] ::

Aw, Heath, David Cole? I know you already apologized for it, but I just can't help it.
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:: Heath 1:31 AM [+] ::

Sorry to hold up things once again...a few VERY late nights at work will make ya wanna be in bed more than at the computer typing stuff out. Anyways, i apologize in advance to anyone who reads this and is on the list...but, with that in mind, if you see your name here...u really sucked at that point in time.

In no particular order...per the usual:

1.) Michael Mealy- I know i know he's already been listed not once, but twice. Well, make this thrice. I was in that show as a newcomer...and i desperately needed help in my scenes, at least people that could show me the ropes. Kristen did a wonderful job in the scenes i had with her. But with Michael...it was like acting with a board of wood who had the uncanny ability to occasionally lift his hand to his mouth to mimic a yawn. This bottle of water sitting next to me would have had more stage presence than him.
2.) David Mac- You may think i was not in the department long enough to see his display of forgettable characters. Well i couldn't stand him in guys and dolls or in three musketeers. And i was also quite glad to see him without a role in the OAP his senior year. Side note: there was a feeling of sheer dominance there knowing that i had bested "mr. klein drama" in the fight for a girl we both wanted...i hated him, he hated me. I couldn't stand how when we were around eachother i could tell he had been talking about me behind my back. And now, only one of us has a blog to post our hatred today for the other. You'll figure out the truth about yourself someday Mac...we all see it.
3.) Laura Magee-I think that's how you spell it. Anyways, i truly am sorry if you read this but i feel you belong on this list. Take your pick of either RBG, Amadeus, or Streetcar. In Robber Bridegroom she had one line about legs getting kicked off or something and she could never say it right...or she would have to throw in a "Damn" or two to spice it up. Or in Amadeus...the word "Moosecall" (coined by Chewy) still comes to mind when i think of that show. AND FINALLY, Streetcar. Given, she was thrown into that role rather quickly and had other stuff on her mind at the time. Out of the four main characters, Stella had to be the easiest to master and i couldn't stand watching those scenes with her in them. Also, how we do we "row"?...Nuff said.
4.) David Cole-i feel bad putting his name on here for obvious reasons. But the list calls for it to be said...however, i will not go into detail. Just realize this David: For the love of God, don't move while in the plainly visible shadows. It's called standing still.
5.) Steve Walton- Sorry if you read this Steve but i had to put ya on here. Yes you looked like a Stanley, no you did not act like one. "Tiger Tiger...you want some rough house? I will give you some rough house." Now try reading that quote again putting as much emphasis as your can on the word "will". It never sounded right. Even though Chewy doesn't look remotely like a Stanley, he would have been 20 times more convincing. But Steve, if you read this, I do applaud you for your efforts.
6.) I debated to put this last one on here...but now i realize to be fair to myself and to the list I must. So the last person on my list is Mr. Fenley. This may come as a surprise to many of you. Well i guess at Shakespeare he had a talent. But in everything else, especially in scenes he tried to show us/me, he seemed melodramatic. This could be the truth or maybe i could be biased by the fact that every time i would get a scene going with Kristen in rehearsal for RBG, he would say something to the effect of, "No wait Heath you're doing it wrong...THIS is how the scene should go." And at that moment he would shove me aside and do the scene with Kristen. Shoot man, i know how romance goes. Mr. Fenley, you leave me and Kristen alone for a few hours to "rehearse" and i'll show ya romantic chemistry. Hi Kristen...hope you read this.

Well anyways, i'm sure there's people i'm forgetting but those were the ones that came to mind. And i'm tired...so i leave you all without a funny ending to my post or some interesting quip that will leave ya wanting more.

PS...a girl asked me what the angry dragon was tonight at work and laughed, turned bright red, and walked out of the store.
.....

:: the wease 8:00 PM [+] ::

The cop out list was a joke. You should know I'd never pass up a chance to belittle my former classmates. Let the festivities commence...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Roscoe Awards. This night celebrates the boys and girls who bring that special something to high school stages across the nation. That special something is the ability to elicit silent screams of pain from hundreds of audience members, disgust romantic counterparts, and ruin carefully constructed scenes with mechanical awkwardness. Without further adieu, here are our first two presenters."

"He taught canadian and midwestern children that heart and stealing star players on a redistricting technicality can overcome skill and dark colored uniforms, not once, but 3 times. You might know him as Gordon Bombay, but I call him that guy from Men in Work - Emilio Estevez. "

"Also a hit movie star, she redefined the term British Invasion as 1/5 of the supergroup Spice Girls. Give it up for Scary Spice!"

SS: Cheerio, Gordon.
EE: Umm...my name is Emilio. Gordon Bombay is a character I played.
SS: If I still have to be f***ing Scary Spice, then you're Gordon Bombay! Just announce the category, wanker.
EE: These actors are so bad they make SpiceWorld look like A Hard Day's Night. Here's Weasel with the nominees for the Roscoe for worst KHS actor-

Thanks, Gordo.
Mo`ni`ca` Ri`o`s - I wish she would have abstained courteously from 1776. Most annoying line ever, except for everything she said in the chorus of Robber Bridegroom.
Michael Mealey - As Clement Musgrove in The Robber Bridegroom, he showed us the plight of a rich, dumb rancher with hand spasms everytime he yawned. "I'm so tired I could sleep standing up" *whack!*
Karma Lords - She was part of the influx of Mormons to the department, and played a bratty annoying child TOO well in Harvey. I wanted to run up on stage and regulate.
Steve Walton - This was a tough call. Steve tried really hard to step in at halftime as Stanly Kowalski in A Streetcar Named Desire. He gave it his all, he worked really hard, but...he just couldn't get it. This is more of a "didn't measure up to Roger" than a flat out "sucked." I could never watch Steve without thinking how Roger would have done.
And the last nominee is Gabe Al-Rafai (sp?) - He always struck me as flat and boring, yet he landed 2 major roles in straight plays and I couldn't figure out why. I never saw him to be leading man caliber.

EE: And the Roscoe goes to..... a write-in candidate! Can we do that? Well, since it's not me, I guess its ok. Worst KHS actor is...Michael "weasel" Snyder! Come up here and say a few words.

I feel sorry for anyone who saw an audition, tournament piece, or classroom scene of mine. I couldn't do anything worth watching except prance around as a faggoty Emperor, but I thought I was good. I apologize to everyone for this, especially to Kristen Bowden, who got stuck with me as a duet partner and whose chances of victory at TFA State I crushed. Trust me, you don't want to be responsible for Kristen's failure in anything theatrical. Thanks for not throwing it in my face, Kristen. Oh, and I hope we can get a president who wont lead us into an irresponsible war. Shame on you, Dubya. Shaaaaaame.

Heath, it's all you. At first I thought you'd have a hard time with this list, only being in shows for a year. But then I remembered you were in Robber Bridegroom and Streetcar. That's some ripe territory.
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:: David 5:35 PM [+] ::

Weasel, you are in fact the next to post a list. Not only that, but I think you owe us a real list for the current ones. Looks like you've got your work cut out for you.
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:: Ryan 2:22 PM [+] ::

TaaDaa

My List:

• Ryan Eneix - no, I'm not just all out down on myself, but i think during OAP senior year, i cost us first place fo sho. I doubt many will disagree with me either.


• Ashley Anderson (from her entire resume, WSS leading the way) - my favorite show, people still talk about it, and people still talk about her. Her acting began before she even got the part, as she drove up to the school the night the cast list was posted, jumped out of nikki nored's car, and ran up to the glass, pushin folks out tha way to see her name on the list, when she had already been told she got it. High pitch screams followed, along with jumping and crying. I'll just stop with this, and won't even touch on things onstage. KILLAR KILLAR KILLAR


• Nuns (from The Sound of Music) - Now, some of them were great, Adrienne Rumsey was one, and i loved her, but majority of the rest of them just couldnt get things together. They couldn't carry tune together in a bucket, they just sort of mosey'd out on stage, stood there, then mosey'd back off. There was a certain girl named Tara ... there was one scene where the curtain would start off closed, and the nuns were to start singing as soon as the curtain opened. She would stand in front of the group and waive her hands, as if trying to conduct, but it was more like violently throwing, moreso than waiving, and its not like it did any good. I know it sounds like the things i am naming arent really acting, but to justify...she couldnt act either. there.


• The Hot Box Girls (from Guys and Dolls) - The songs were written to be a little annoying in the first place, but boy did our girls find their part well. It amuzed me how long they spent away from the cast, and then come back with nothing but complaining towards one another. Many a heated argument came from within. The group mostly made me laugh, but a certain couple of the girls just made me cringe. Don't worry, if you read this blog, i doubt you are one of the ones that made me want to vomit.


• Micheal Steinbach - Fricken wow. Senior will 2000 was one of the funniest pieces of literature I have ever read, as he justified how much better he was than everyone, and how our director who took us to state couldn't direct. I will forever live with a picture of GladHand doing that damn dance in the middle of the circle during WSS. This too, makes me want to vomit.


• David Mac - There was a time were we got along well, but after that time, everytime i saw him I couldn't help but either laugh or turn away in shame. So sue me, sue me, what can you do meiloveyou (in my best wanna-be lounge singer voice). I also loved how he daily discussed before OAP 00 cast was announced how if it was this play, he would get the role, and if it was another play, I would get the role, and how this is how it shouldbe etc etc etc vomit vomit vomit. I'm through with this one.


• The cast of The Shadow Box - *Convulsive vomiting* They had fine alternates....and thats about all they had going for their show, minus bringing the same play for one act every year, no matter if it had a different title from the year before. It always looked/looks the same.

Ok, I am done with my battery of high school actors. I could have come up with more, but 6 is enough for now. I tried to stay away from David's list as much as possible, and copout weasel made me laugh, where is heath's post? He's holding up the blog......again....
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:: Ryan 2:07 AM [+] ::

Its beacause i am the name fairy, and im not about to call myself by a woman's name.

I just got back in town from a beautiful wedding in Alexandria. I am off to bed now. I will post my list tomorrow.
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:: Heath 2:47 AM [+] ::

Ryan, you know i can take a joke...just found it interesting how i get "man whore", chewy gets his usual "Susie" and you get..."Playapleez".....someone's been screwing the name fairy.
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:: David 5:26 PM [+] ::

Amidst all this talk of manwhoring and closets makes me think of the days back in the drama hall. And here are some of the least enjoyable actors of my day.

First of all, me. I always felt like I could've done better. That said, let's move on.

Michael Mealey - Nice kid. Bad actor. "I'm tired (yawn, mechanically bring hand to mouth)." His Clement Musgrove wanted to make me wanted to hit him over the head with a blunt object. But like I said, nice kid. And he could play the piano.

Michael Steinbach - What...a...jackass (only Josh Darwin would get that). But other than the obvious problems, his acting was poor at best and intolerable at worst. His only good role was when he was Glad Hand, and that's because of a little something we like to call type casting.

Ryan Adudell - He was The Captain, but of what, exactly? Cocky swagger? No no, I've got it. The Captain of talentless egocentrics. He was their leader. (P.S. Michael Steinbach was their general.)

Kelly Howard - Now hold on just a second, I don't mean this in the overall sense. There was just this one thing in 3M that she did. She could never pronounce "monsieur" right. Anytime I heard anyone say "monshur" (that's the phonetic spelling of what she actually said), I knew it was Kelly. Killed me every time. We were supposed to pay a dollar every time we screwed that word up (even though we never did). Kelly must've owed her family's entire savings. Other than that one thing, she was fine.

Ashley Anderson - Oh yeah, that's right. The Orange Maria. Keelar, keelar, killar, killer, killer. I doubt any of you get that, maybe Ryan will. She's doing the pageant circuit now, and if she ever actually becomes Miss Texas, I'll know that the world is in fact ending. Ryan, at the end of the show when you shot Tony in the back, you should've revised the script so that immediately thereafter, Chino blew Maria away.

That's all I can think of right now. If anymore pop up, I'll mention it.
.....

:: the wease 5:25 PM [+] ::

Worst actors from Klein HS Drama:

1) All of them
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:: Ryan 4:58 PM [+] ::

nice cover up attempt...but...

by man whore we all know i mean whore for men.


Chill out man, we all know it was a joke. If it really ruins your day, consider it erased, but let me know when you can take a joke as easily as you dish them out.

Now post.
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:: Heath 4:16 PM [+] ::

BTW...Ryan, i'd rather be a man whore than a closet flamer
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:: the wease 3:05 PM [+] ::

HILARIOUS

We should get AF to guest post for this list, now that she answers to nobody.
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:: Ryan 9:19 PM [+] ::

welp, the stragglers have posted, i guess that means its back around to me. The next list...

People from High School Drama who you think couldn't act their way out of a wet paper sack, or you hated watching perform. Give me 5....or more if you feel hateful.


.....

:: David 9:03 PM [+] ::

I feel like smashed dog crap, so I'm going to make this short and sweet.

Brother
Ryan
Heath
Weasel
Eriks

With a healthy smattering of any of the following:
Bride's brother(s)
Certain guys from dorms
DT
And perhaps a Josh Darwin
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:: Heath 9:02 PM [+] ::

Well it's about time i answered my own question. Here it is fellas...

Best man: Shane. aka my brother...he told me i was gonna be his best man and i'd feel wrong if he weren't mine.
Groomsmen, in no particular order
-Chewy
-Ryan
-(Weas is teetering on the edge b/c of this whole lubbock stunt he pulled this summer)
-Mikey from school
-probly my friend James also from OBU
-Matthew my new brother in law.

Ushers
-(Weas depending on if he gets his act together or not)
-Higgs from school
-Monte from school

There ya go...and considering that a warning weasel

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:: the wease 2:46 PM [+] ::

Things to say that I keep forgetting:

Ryan, did you know Katherine Hepburn died? I think it happened while you were on vacation.

Chewy, I heard a funny anecdote on Jimy Kimmel's show from Lou Ferrigno, the original Incredible Hulk. The exchange went like this -

Lou: The writers of the show changed his name to David Banner, because they though the name Bruce Banner (from the comic book) sounded gay.
Jimmy: And David doesn't ?

There ya go, David Bruce. We're not the only ones suspicious of you.
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:: the wease 3:13 PM [+] ::

Wow, I blink and 8 million posts come up. Welcome back Ryan. Chewy, good call with Patrick Plunk. Consider him and Sean Ob'rien added to my list, because they branded me Weasel for the rest of my life.

My groomsmen/ushers list will also be a very gametime decision, once I'm finally forced to get married. I'm in a place so far away from marriage right now that I know the real list will be different from this one, if it ever happens. But, if married today, I'd take people from different stages in my life that have meant something to me:

- You guys
- Brad
- My bro
- Tim, college roomie

Uhhh....I'm out. I have no friends.
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:: Ryan 1:52 AM [+] ::

Ahh yes, Heath and I did discuss the topic of groomsmen this afternoon, and I had been thinking about it alot after being a groomsman in My old roommate Micheal's wedding. I will throw an unneeded disclaimer in here, saying that this list is in no way a solid rock, as who knows when I will need to employ this list. Without further adeau...

If I got married tomorrow, my groomsmen would be...

• JJ Jordan - roommate and friend from college.


• Josh Haywood - roommate and friend from college.


• David Burkeholder - beachwalker and friend from high school.


• Heath Ceren - Who my Tech friends call "Heath with the teeth" and friend from high school.


• Weasel - man by no other name, and friend from high school.


• Jonathon Burroughs - Yonni Pistoles, and friend from high school.


• Mike Van Brocklin - girl crazy and friend from high school.


• Logan Eneix - because of heath, i feel obligated to...and brother of the groom.

Yes, i know there is more than asked, and yes, i know there are alot. Either my wife will have to pick a bunch of friends for bridesmaids, or i will have to shorten the list, but that will be determined at that time.
I always thought about how beside each groomsman's name, they had either "friend from high school", "friend from college", "friend from work", "brides brother", etc etc., and i wonder if i could convince my wife to let me put what I did above, but I dont see it happening.
I currently don't know for sure who my best man will be. I think it depends on a couple of things, such as who i am closest with at the time, who my wife knows well, etc etc. It will be a game time decision. Thus concludes my list.

By the way, Heath, if you didn't post this as the next list, I was going to.
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:: Heath 11:47 PM [+] ::

Hmmm well looks like i'm the last to post. I won't bore you with some fruitless banter aimed at making you laugh...so here goes the list. PS-Susie's not that bad of a name

1. Parents-This is an easy one. No matter who you are, it's very difficult to prove that you're parents have no influence on who you are/become as a person. I'm more like my dad than i'd like to admit. Sad, yes, i know. But i love them and continually thank them for the little stuff that goes unnoticed. I'd like to give a shout out to Mom's chicken parmesan.

2. Leigh, Janae, Shane, Kacey- for all of you readers that don't know me well...that's not a list of interesting pet names. Those would be my siblings. They, like my parents, keep me grounded and make fun of me enough to where i keep my place. I don't feel like listing invidual reasons for their presence on this list so we'll just say i like them all a little.

3. AF- She's an amazing individual and anyone who's come in contact with her and wanted to be shaped has felt her impact on their life. Yes that means you have to be willing to be molded. That's why those ungrateful to her in the past...who shall remain nameless but we can each think of a few...should be ashamed at themselves for blaming her for shortcomings in their life. She's my second mother to be honest. Guys, that's just between us...and now apparently the world wide web.

4. Lindsey- Man i just saw her today when me and ryan went to see her baby. Dang that sounds weird...her baby. Craziness. Anyway, i'm sure ex-girlfriends have influenced you all, good or bad, Lindsey has done the same for me. She's a great individual when she lets herself be and she truly does bring joy to those around her. Even though i really don't talk to her much now, i'm grateful just to know her.

5. Friends- Yeah you guys are included on that list. Don't flatter yourself...i just couldn't think of a fifth one to put on the list. Everyone who knows that you're my friend...you're special to me for different reasons. And for those of you who are not sure you're my friend...you're probly not, so get on with your life. J/k...maybe

Aight there you have it...my list.

K now on to something else...my first list idea in a while. Me and Ryan were talking today and we were listing our groomsmen if/when we get married. So here's the list...name who would be your groomsmen and ushers if you were to get married today. First give a list for g'men if you were to have 4 g'men and 4 ushers, then your list of 6 g'men and 2 ushers...u don't have to make it very discripted as it will take some thinking i bet.

.....

:: David 9:49 PM [+] ::

Ryan likes the circus and camping. Why? The tent poles, ladies and gentlemen. The tent poles.
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:: David 9:49 PM [+] ::

We've all always known that you're a playa, Ryan. If you were any more of a playa, you'd wear a jersey everywhere you went (like Heath does). The first rule of this playa jersey, however, is that it must be velcro because everyone knows that playas have to be able to rip off their clothes at a moments notice. Thus is the life of a playa.

Anyway, the list, with no order.

Jeff - He's my brother, and the first person that popped into my head when I thought about the list. We were polar opposites in our impressionable teen years. Very, very polar opposites. However, despite the natural laws of physics and chemistry, these two opposites did not attract. He's the single reason why even to this day, I'm so very straight-edge. Thanks, Jeff. You're a blessing in disguise, and I love you. (p.s. I'm almost positive he doesn't read this. Could be wrong.)

Parents - see Ryan's entry below.

Ms. McDaniel - She was my fourth grade teacher. By the time I had her, I was 9 and well on my way to being a real person. To my rememberance, she was the first teacher I ever had that really fostered me academically. That's when I started to realize that I was capably smart. I had a teacher in 1st grade named Mrs. Matkin, and I remember that she was great and that she loved me in her class, but that's about all I remember, so she doesn't make the list on account of me not being able to remember stuff from when I was 6. Other teachers of note include Mrs. Wright, Mr. Raddin, Ms. Juneau, AF, Ms. Wilson (now Mrs. Evans), and Ms."The Magistra" Miller.

Monica - Whether or not the audience in blog land likes to admit it, at an impressionable age she was my first real girlfriend. Things at 16 will do that to you.

My Name isn't Susie - Weasel's a whore.

Patrick Plunk - If he hadn't (eventually) remembered to pick me up for the WSS audition, I never would've been in theatre. And how many people out there still call me Chewy? That's right: millions. My RA even found out about it this year. Incredible how that stuff sticks.
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:: Ryan 4:30 PM [+] ::

for clairification, when i say i met a girl in mexico, i dont mean "met" = hooked up, or am interested in, i mean met = hi my name is ryan met. we talked, and thats it. dirty dirty dirty. I thought you guys knew me better.
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:: the wease 3:56 PM [+] ::

Did this girl from Mexico make tus pantolones grande?
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:: Ryan 12:28 AM [+] ::

Well, i Just came back from a great week in Mexico, with many stories to tell, but none of which will go on here, ill tell in person or over IM, just ask. Anywho, i came back with a weeks worth of posts to read, and it was good to see that there was more than one. The first thing i saw was "topic: blah blah by: Susie".
HA! Yalls stupidest things said/done put mine to shame, i fell out on a number of them. Onto the current topic:

Most influential people in my life thusfar:

• Parents - everyone should have them on their list, weither they would like to admit it or not. and can i get a shout from folks who would agree that you dont realize how much they really mean until you move out and go to college?


• The Tech guys - a group of upper classmen who took me in during my first week of school up in LA, knowing no one, and being the only underclassman in their whole squad. I would probably be at school at HBU or UT if it weren't for them.


• Women - a startling entry, i agree, but let me explain. No specific one, but the whole clan of them. Through a part of life, and sometimes even now, I would change actions, words, patterns of going to class, going to class period, etc. etc. Having given a few examples, i think this is another one that should be on everyones list. Even this week in mexico...there was a girl named ... well....we'll save that story for another time...


• AF and Jennifer Marshall - at fresh. orientation, jennifer marshall did a piece advertising drama, and that alone made me do drama in high school. once i got in, AF took over, and made me a thespian at heart for life.


• Friends - all of them, for all different reasons, some good, some bad, all worth it.

And thats it for me. yay for mexico. Mis pantalones son muy grande. Si? gracias.
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:: the wease 8:11 PM [+] ::

Most influential people:

1. Parents - Can't deny it, whether I like it or not.
2. Matt Greoning - 90% of my personality is the Simpsons
3. My brother - this goes with the "temporary" impact thing. I'm in Lubbock because of him, who knows if this will scar me for life
4. Krystal - girlfriend for a long time, at least in teen years
5. Head programmer for super smash brothers

This list was too hard. Fellas, roll 'em out and we'll move on
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:: David 11:33 PM [+] ::

We all know how bad I am at coming up with lists. In fact, I've been pretty bad at it. Damn bad at it. And while I type this, I still have no idea what my list is going to be. I'm drawing a blank. Total blank. Tabula rasa, blank slate. Crap on a stick, I've been sitting here for a good half hour or so trying to think of something, and it's just not working. Ok, ok, I think I just thought of one. Alright, I think it's a pretty good one, too. Top 5 most influential people in your life. This can be influences that made a permanent impact or temporary one, good or bad. I do have to put one stipulation on this one. We're looking for tangible people here, so no deitic influences (i.e., Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, the 9th Order of Angels, Mary, etc.) If you can't think of five, then just list as many as you can think of. I don't know if I'll be able to think of five.

Ready...GO!
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:: Heath 3:29 AM [+] ::

Hmm this is a tough one. I, like Chewy, am sure i've done some stupid things. In addition, i'm sure i've said things that were stupid. Trying to narrow it down to five is tough...but here goes.

1.) None of ya'll were there. It was in Oklahoma and a big group of us went to see a movie. My friend Bekah brought two of her friends that none of us knew. Well, we go to IHOP afterwards and are talking and something like our biggest pet peeves comes up. I say mine is how (please no one take offense to this or ever bring this up to me in the future) black people can get away using the word {insert slang racial term here} and everyone else is crucified for it. I should have noticed the awkward stares halfway through this comment. Yes, one of Bekah's friends she brought along was black and i guess i just forgot. Errr yeah.

2.) Telling Ashley Hesseltine i had a crush on her. Yeah it was 8th grade i think. She had a special place in my heart for about three weeks that culminated in a rejection...from her end not mine. Yeah i miss the days when i was fat. Right.

3.) This is a bunch of stupid things tied together but constantly making taking cracks at "her" to Chewy. Yeah i still let one slip every now and then, however, you have to admit i have gotten better about it, don't ya think Chewy? I do apologize...if i do it from here on out it's a habit dying a slow agonizing death. Hey, why did the {insert name of her} cross the road?...$%^# i did it again. Just kidding man.

4.) Saying i love you to a girl. Granted, i've only said it to one person...and i thought i knew what it was. Heck maybe i did. But ya know, if i knew then saying i love you would mean breaking up a few months later, existing through a couple years of awkwardness, and then one day offering to babysit for that person, i probably wouldn't have said it.

5.) Hmm this again was during my fat years. Weird how stupidity goes along hand in hand with weight. Anyway, I believe it was freshman year in highschool. I was in P.E. and it was at the end of class when everyone was putting away the basketballs. This bully type kid...i forget his name. We'll call him Cleatus. Anyway, Cleatus kicks a basketball into the scoreboard hanging over center court. Coach Nelson comes into the middle of the crowd demanding to know who did it. Funny thing is he hears me at that exact moment tell one of my friends, "Hey, did you see Cleatus do that?" Yeah so Nelson pulls me over to him and tells me to point out who did it. It was the dumbest thing ever but i was a scared, overweight freshmen....i pointed him out as he walked right in front of me. He threated to beat the $%@& out of me, but jokes on him..he got ISS for a week and somehow got transferred out of our class. I never saw him again. To this day, even with all the trash i talk, i've never once been beaten up. No that's not an invitation.


Well there ya go...sorry to write so much but stupidity calls for it.

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:: David 11:25 PM [+] ::

I've had some questions about the word 'prognostication', so here's the definition for all of you low-brow...I mean...people who don't know the word.

Prognosticate - to predict the future
Prognostication - the act of predicting the future
Prognosticator - one who predicts the future

This is not, I repeat, this is NOT me misspelling 'procrastinate.' This is also not slang for any of the following: whacking it, jerking it, beating it, choking it, spanking it, or moving furniture.

Heath, you're up.
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:: the wease 2:39 PM [+] ::

But there's something you love about SSB. You keep coming back for more. Deep down you like the abuse, which is sick. And what do you mean you can't win? I believe last time we all smashed you and I took Ryan and Heath to school. Admittedly, it was after losing many a match in previous meetings, but right now we're on top.

And happy 7-months-and-1 week anniversary to the blog. Let's celebrate by looking back at history.

The Historic First Post

":: Ryan 5:57 PM [+] ::

Welcome to our first attempt at a group blog. hopefully it will end up being too funny to pass up. as for now, i just hope we can work it. more to come soon. "

What immortal words. And if you haven't gone back to check out the archives, do so. I just read February and got some good laughs.
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:: David 11:36 PM [+] ::

As I start this list, I have yet to come up with a full 5 things. And yet, I have so many times to choose from. Ah, where to begin?

1) WHAT: I said, and I quote: "I never said 'I'm not gay.'"
WHEN/WHO: To Maryanna freshman year when I was visiting SMU.
WHY: I said it because I was stating that I never USED THE PHRASE "I'm not gay," NOT in the manner of questioning my sexual preference. Unfortunately, it didn't sound that way.

2) WHAT: The Great Sadie Mishap of 1999
WHEN/WHO: With Bethany Wicker my freshman year in high school.
WHY: I didn't want to go with Bethany...but I didn't bother telling her until 4 days after I said I would go with her. Physical abuse was threatened on me by her brother. Good times.

3) WHAT: Prognostication
WHEN: Lots of times.
WHY: Let's just face it, this has never turned out good for anybody in the history of man. It doesn't work, don't try.

4) WHAT: Arm Wrestling
WHEN/WHO: Lots of times, and I lose to almost everyone, and that includes girls.
WHY: It's pretty crappy when you lose arm wrestling to a girl. I'm just really bad at arm wrestling. Really bad.

5) WHAT: Playing Super Smash Brothers
WHEN/WHO: Lots of senior year with the fellas.
WHY: I can't win at it. Not only can I not win, but I lose horribly, and it's the worst game anyone can play ever. It brings out the worst in me and drops my self-esteem to nothing. I don't think I'll ever be able to get Heath's little girl giggling out of my head.

These are five, and yet there are so many more. Things I've said and things I've done. From age 1 to age 20. At home and abroad. Everyone knows I'm really really really really really really stupid with that stuff. If you know me, then you've talked to me, and if you've talked to me, then you've heard me say something stupid. If you've even ever seen me, then you've seen me do something stupid. It truly is my greatest talent.

p.s. Ryan - props for the archives.
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:: the wease 8:46 PM [+] ::

I forgot how fun it was to have this blog, at least fun until the novelty wears off as it has before. The "current list" is just one of many improvements coming to serve you better. Crap, now I have to come up with some more improvements. Oh, ok. Got some. And they will be big, huge, amazing. The internet will never be the same after I get through with them. Whatever, let's try this list -

Top 5 times I've "pulled a Chewy" (in order, off the top of my head)
1. It's a secret from some people, but I'd like it to be a secret from everyone. If you know, I hate you for it. And if you don't, I will never tell you.
2. Totalling my minivan. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I rear-ended someone. Ryan's right - I hate cars.
3. This was going to be "the note I wrote to Suzannah in 2nd grade telling her I liked her," but then I remembered that I did the same thing in 8th grade, and 11th grade, plus telling a few people in person how I felt. So let's have this one be "anytime I've spoken to, written to, or attempted to date a girl." Yeah, that covers a lot.
4. doing something stupid on my president's scholarship application. Ask me.
5. saying shit, or maybe it was fuck, in the sanctuary at church. Not because anything bad happened, but just because it's a bonehead move and it's all I can think of for now.

Heath, Chewy, it's your go.
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:: David 1:03 PM [+] ::

I like the new blog format, what with the "current list" thing at the top and the by-line. That's neato. I'm about to have lunch at Mom's, so this top 5 stupidest things i've said/done list won't be done in this post. Besides, I've got to go through my "stupid things" archives and pick out my top five out of hundreds. It might take awhile, or I might put it up tonight on the fly. Who knows, I'm a wild man. In the meantime, anyone out there who's reading this and remembers something stupid I've said or done can email me with the memory and it will be considered for the list. I know I open myself up to having my email crash with the volume of mail that I could receive for this topic, but I'm lazy and this could keep me from having to think as much. I'd also like to thank Weasel for the dedication on this list.

So how about it, smashers? What are the top 5 times you've pulled a Chewy?
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:: Ryan 1:32 AM [+] ::

Ha@"can't compete with that".

About the archives, i just went into the settings section, found the archive settings, and changed it to archive monthly, rather than weekly. It didn't change at first, but I think the next time it was due to archive, it changed them all, and I am glad, it looks alot better that way.

I will tell you number 5....when you IM me.

About the next list: I say and do stupid things all the time, I will try to remember some of the most memorable. I figured I should go ahead and post, seeing as i am leaving later on today for a week long vacation. Without further blabber...

Top 5 stupid things I've said/done

• We'll start recent and say "The Car Incident". Lesson to be learned: don't drive your car through water, no matter how shallow it looks.


• Anytime I have said "I like (insert name here)". You may laugh and think I am referring to a specific individual, but I am not. Anytime I say this, something always goes wrong, or has a way to blow up in my face. From now on, I don't like ANYONE.


• Another car story. The time i went to visit in Louisiana in my stent away from there, and I got pulled over... doing 103 in a 55...... in someone elses car. Ya...that was pretty stupid. I hate cars.


• Cancun 2000. Ask me, and I will tell you. It's bad though.


• I can't really think of stupid things I have said, although I am trying hard. If any of you three can think of one, please, post it, you have my permission. That would pose for a good surprise whenever I get back. I think I am asking for it. Ah well. If it is really dirty, I can always "Respond", if you feel me.

Ya'll have fun this next week working/schooling/sitting, while i sit back on the beach, doing nothing, and being happy about doing nothing. I'll think of you guys. Take care.
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:: the wease 11:15 PM [+] ::

--- Posting to get Chewy in trouble is much more fun than posting a silly little list. Did I say silly and little? I mean to say the most profound expression of my deepest feelings, right Connie?
--- I would never go after a girl Ryan was going after - I can't compete with that.
--- Nice archives, tell me how.
--- And tell me #5
--- My list may or may not include people I'd like to date.....it's a mystery. But rest assured there will be no guys on it. If I were Connie THAT's what would worry me about Chewy's list.

• Ms. Sarah Corbin is a pretty little thang with whom I've had some great conversations. Plus she loves to play games, even if she is way too lenient in Scattergories. A fun, happy girl that studies too hard.


• Next on my list is an oldie, C(K?)atherine Pisano. I haven't seen, heard from, or heard about her in over 2 years, but we always had some good times in physics bad mouthing Chewy and Monica.....I mean deriving formulas for rotational acceleration. No, she's a smart, hard working girl that seems comfortable around a lot of different people.


• My friend Brad's girlfriend, Laura Love. (real name, not a porn star, but descended from a long line of them) Actually, I know very little about her and we're not really friends, just friends of friends. But she's always been incredibly nice to me, she's baked cookies or brownies every time I've been over to her house, she's pretty, and I trust Brad's judgment. At least I do now that he's dumped all his girlfriends I didn't like.


• My cousin Lynn. She's graduated, married, "all grown up" and still watches cartoons. A friendly person that let my siblings and I break the gestapo's rules when they were out of the country. And she taught me everything I know about Scrabble. She's one of those helpful people that won't hesitate for a second if you need a favor.


• #5 already. My memory is failing me. I swear I'm forgetting someone, but I can't think of who. So this spot is open. I'm currently accepting applications. Ladies, send me your headshots and resumes. If I get impressed sometime soon I'll fill this spot. Corey was close, but apparently she wont call people big poppa. That's just not cool.

Nope, no Valerie. I had to buck the trend. Besides, I hardly know the kid. But she's definitely a looker, and a singer.

This next list is dedicated to Chewy - Top 5 stupid things you've done or said. And Chewy, you can limit your list to the past week. We need room to post, too. (I get the feeling we've done this list or something similar, maybe top 5 regrets, before. Let me know and I'll call a new list)
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:: Ryan 8:11 PM [+] ::

1. Heath, why the comment about amanda?


2. David, why the comment abtou Connie getting mad? Certainly she didn't, otherwise I would have to call her silly.


3. Wease, you've posted, but yet no list. Where be it?


4. How bout them archives?


5. here is my list, no order, and just an additional comment, the list in no way states "people i would like to date" or "people i think would be good girlfriends". those are other lists, this one is just people i think put forth a great total package.

• I'll make it 3-3 and say Valarie as well. She's a sweetheart, and i have honestly never seen her in a "bad moment". I'm sure she has her down times, but I certainly can't see them. Yes, she's attractive. Yes, she can sing, but I think these things play second fiddle to just getting to sit down with her and chill, she'za cool cat, and I don't even know her all that well, so imagine what all i could say if I did.


• There is a girl named Steph from Louisiana whom I admire a great deal. Here comes the tough part, because none of you have even seen her. She is a very attractive girl, long brown curly hair which i love, but she also sometimes straightens it, and it looks equally as good. She's down to earth, funny, and totally sold out for God, which is a huge plus. Come take a trip to Ruston, and maybe yall can see her.


• We'll go back a couple of years, because I havent really spoken to her in quite some time. I was captivated with Tasha D. for quite some time back in the day. Everything about her kept my attention. Her laid back nature, how she could talk forever about whatever. i can't really explain it all with words. She just amazed me.


• I havent spoken to this girl in forever, either, but I think Kelly Howard is a baller. You just can't beat all of the times i would drive over to her house and we would sit on the hood of my car and talk til nearly sunrise. I wish she would pick up a phone every once in a while and give a brotha a call.


• I withold my 5th choice, ask me and I will tell you who it is.

There it is, yes my 5th is a cop out, but at least i didnt put a guy on my list.

Wease, you are up, and go ahead and start another list while you are at it.
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:: David 10:40 AM [+] ::

Weasel, the last thing I need you doing is butting in to help get Connie mad at me.

I can do that well enough on my own, thank you very much.
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:: Heath 1:17 AM [+] ::

Hmm well after being prompted many a time to respond...i give my list (although this IS a troublesome list for many a reason). Here goes...

1. I'll agree with Chewy and say Valerie. She would be the perfect girlfriend. She's smart, funny, pretty and is just easy to be around. She's definitely the type of person you'd be proud to say, "hey, that's my girlfriend" or bring to a wedding for your family to meet...ha yeah.

2. Kahki- You all have heard me talk about her and/or seen the picture i have of her in my room. Man, when i fell for her i fell for her hard. She's everything a guy could want in a girl. Maybe the best personality i've ever come into contact with. Yeah too bad she's becoming hardcore catholic and wants a catholic guy. Ah well some things were never meant to be.

3. Amanda Seidl- Umm she's just about perfect in every way. Great to talk to, great to just hang out with. And she gets along real well with ryan. Maybe they should hook up. Ryan's single, weasel's single...maybe ya'll could both go after her. Odds would be with ya that way. I think it could be arranged with just a $1.50...right Chewy?

4. Connie- Yeah she's who i dream about every night. I like it when we get to hang out when Chewy's not in town. She'll come over...we'll tell my parents we're just "hangin out" in my room, "talkin about Chewy". And somehow whenever we "talk about Chewy" we end up wrestling...weird. It amazes me how she does that thing, night in, night out, with her...oh wait. Nah i'm just messin Chewy. I would never do something like that to you...and then post it.

5. Umm I'll say my cousin Heidi. No no i don't wanna hook up with her. But she is a great person. Good Christian, plays the piano like nobody's business, and likes shootin hoops. Sorry fellas...she's married.

K there ya go. Now i think i'm off to bed. First night in a week i sleep without an hour or two...or five...of reading Harry Potter before bed.
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:: the wease 6:01 PM [+] ::

Wow, a new look for blogger and this blog. Did you change our colors, Ryan? Now, on to business.

(cleans barrel)
(loads shells)
(switches safety to 'off' position)
(scratches crotch with gun)

Chewy, how could you NOT put your girlfriend on the list?? Are you saying you'd rather date corey, melissa, sarah, valerie and....eriks?! (i'll get to that in a second) Yep, that's what he's saying, Connie. And what's with switching teams in the middle of the list? Eriks is on Chewy's 5 most perfect girls list - statement of fact. Draw what conclusions you will from this. (but in case you're having trouble, think Liberacie, Batman & Robin, and Richard Simmons)

(BOOM)

gotcha in the neck
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:: David 12:53 PM [+] ::

Ryan poses an interesting (and somewhat dangerous) question. In my mind, out of the 3 billion women on the Earth, I don't think I could think of 5 perfect or near perfect ones. 3 would be as far as I could stretch it...maybe 4. However, since it is the blog policay to answer lists, answer I will. And now, for the first dangerous part...

DISCLAIMER: Due to the sensitive nature of the subject, I am placing girlfriend Connie Banks in the "out of bounds" catagory for my own personal list regardless of her placement on it.

See, I feel like I've just loaded some sort of horrible weapon that will reign down terrible anger and great fury upon me if I'm not careful. And now, for the second dangerous part...

1) Valerie Vinzant - All catagories taken into consideration, she is the leader. Looks, talent, personality, etc. etc. Note: I don't want to elaborate too much on this list because, let's face it, it's a loaded gun waiting to happen just by me answering it.

2) Melissa Carpenter - The surprise on the list, she's hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilarious. And from talking to her, I've recently found out that she has a good ol' fashioned real boyfriend. Congratulations, Melissa.

3) Corey Bradley - If she's reading this, she's probably surprised to see herself here. SURPRISE, Corey! Your gentle and kind demeanor have not gone unnoticed, as well as your good sense of humor and understanding nature.

4) Sarah Corbin - Sarah is a friend of mine. Never one to raise much of a fuss, she takes things as they come with a brilliance that resembles that of a young Art Vandalay.

5) Eriks Dunens - Ok, Eriks isn't a girl. But he is the most perfect guy I know, and since I could only come up with 4 girls for the list, he has he honor of coming in at number 5.

Literally only 1 in 750 million. Now you'll have to excuse me while I got put on my bullet proof vest and kevlar helmet.
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:: Ryan 1:30 AM [+] ::

<< has been checkin up on this, to find nothing. what else to put the spark back in the blog than.....a list.

ladies and gents, although not so much the ladies because we are four males:

Your top Five "perfect" girls you know personally. we know noone is perfect, but throw out names of those who come close. the total package. i looked back, and couldnt find if we had done this already, so do it. If it is someone from school, someone we wouldnt know, then give an avid description, looks wise as well as personality wise.

this is my list choice, someone else get next, and as long as we do this, the blog shouldnt die off.
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:: the wease 11:14 PM [+] ::

Does anyone know how to fix the archives on the side? Does anyone care about this site anymore? Raise your hand if you've visited it lately.


Yeah, that's what I thought.
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:: the wease 9:39 PM [+] ::

Things are ok out here, Ryan. I have a great time driving around in my car. You know how that goes, right? Actually I'm bored a lot of the time, but my job is pretty interesting and I don't have to be home by 10 every night.... even though I am. Old School is funny, isn't it? I remember when I saw it with Heath and Chewy in the theatre that night I "went back to Dallas" and stayed at Heath's. Good times, good times...
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:: Ryan 1:24 AM [+] ::

sup wease, i am posting from heaths house, as we play egiptian, watch old school, etc etc, the three of us. i bet its this fun in ......where ever TX Tech is.
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:: Ryan 1:48 AM [+] ::

what is going down on the homefront? i may be in on the weekend of the 14th.
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:: the wease 5:06 PM [+] ::

Let this be an open invitation-

anyone and everyone who has spare time on their hands this summer is welcome to experience Lubbock, TX via me. My brother's house accomodates 2 comfortably or 3 uncomfortably, so line up your groups now and come visit. We have it all - dirt, tumbleweeds, dust storms and vending machines where everything still costs 50 cents! Ah, the good old days....
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:: Ryan 11:46 AM [+] ::

let this be an open invitation.

anyone and everyone who has spare time on their hands this summer is welcome to expeirience Ruston, LA via Ryan E. my house accomodates 7 comfortably, or 500 uncomfortably, so line up your groups now and make reservations with ryan ASAP.
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:: David 3:59 PM [+] ::

I'd like to take this time to say happy trails to one Weasel Snyder. While in Lubbock, you will be missed in Ruston, Spring, and Lake Jackson*.

(* - Weasel will also be missed by several hookers/drug dealers/bookies/strippers in the "red light district" of Dallas.)

On a related note, Lubbock's unions of street-walkers (local 458), gambling associates (local 330), exotic dancers (local 877), and opium den managers (local 761) would like to welcome Mr. Snyder, and his business, to the city.
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:: David 3:49 PM [+] ::

It seems as though the "would you rather" game has officially met it's demise in the great pit of despair known as our blog. Fare thee well, would you rather. We hardly knew ye.
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:: the wease 12:27 AM [+] ::

Echo echo echo echo.....
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:: the wease 12:51 AM [+] ::

Hmm, after having a few experiences almost drowning and having no intense burns, I'd have to say drowning. It's more familiar, and although it's scary, it's probably no scarier than burning. And since there's less pain and time involved, we might as well let everyone get home in time to catch the last 10 minutes of American Idol.

Now as for the nakedness - I think I would have to be the one with the "nude-o-vision." Yeah, I'd see a lot of scary shit, (ewww....a lot) but at least I could hide it from everyone. But if I were seen as naked to everyone else there would be a lot of explaining to do. And I'm uncomfortable being naked in public places. And I'd have no surprises left for the ladies. So I would bear the burden of seeing people naked (which would be very good at times) to keep the world from seeing me. I'm going to feel very strange around people no matter what I choose. Might as well minimize the awkwardness and keep it to myself.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one." - Spock
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:: David 12:46 AM [+] ::

Simply because there are too many people out there that I definately don't ever want to see naked, I'd have to say I'd rather everyone see me as naked no matter what I'm wearing. At least I could always pretend that they couldn't see.
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:: the wease 2:52 PM [+] ::

Sorry to double up on the questions, but I don't want to forget this one. Would you rather always see everyone else naked, no matter what they were wearing, or have everyone else always see you naked no matter what you're wearing?
.....

:: Heath 7:06 PM [+] ::

Hey i'm not misty-eyed. You have to keep up appearances. Should have seen it coming, you taking the high and mighty approach as usual.
.....

:: David 12:19 PM [+] ::

I'd have to say drowning. The great part about drowning is that I hear it's relatively painless, which I could see being true. I mean, you're submerged under water, breathing in said water. No oxygen gets to the brain, you get dizzy and light-headed, etc., and then pass out before you actually die. Relatively painless. Not so with burning at the stake, though. You've got all that fire and burning flesh, starting at the feet and working it's way up. Maybe eventually you'd pass out, but it'd be from the pain. I go drowning.
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:: the wease 12:13 PM [+] ::

I'd rather be mute. That way I could pretend to be deaf and take people by surprise. Take the world by storm. Would you rather drown or be burned at the stake?
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:: David 12:13 PM [+] ::

Oh, Heath. Come now. Don't get all misty-eyed. The question was just too over the top.
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:: Heath 10:29 AM [+] ::

Game's over...at least for me. You suck the fun out of everything.
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:: David 10:23 AM [+] ::

That is answering one, and that's all you're going to get. I warned you no sex with corpses or relatives long before you posted the question. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo, one is just the same as the other, it's so entirely repulsive all together that it doesn't matter which one it is. So, if you like, you can say that I chose my brother. Or, if you'd rather, you can say I chose my dad. Whatever works for you.
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:: Heath 1:47 AM [+] ::

Chewy the game's called "Would you rather"...answer one, even if it's just a random pick
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:: David 1:44 AM [+] ::

I was going to abstain to the rephrased question because it's a horrible horrible question, but then I decided just to list reasons why there is no possible way that this could ever work. I mean, really man, no way.

1) Ew.

2) In order for there to be sex, I'd have to be able to get "up" for this, and there is no way, NO WAY that I could get "up" for that.

3) Ew.

4) Ew.

5) Makesmewanttovomit

6) Sick

7) I love my family, but I don't love my family...ever.

8) What? No.

9) Ew.

10) See above.

With the list of reasons in mind, I can actually answer this question by being technical. I would rather do neither. Because of that, since I'd not want to do either of them, period, it wouldn't really matter which one got picked. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo for all I care.
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:: David 1:16 AM [+] ::

Sounds like I'm taking a bullet to the head.

I'm sure, Heath, you're saying I have to pick one, I can't choose the bullet, but here's my reasoning. By saying that there is a gunpoint involved, you inevitably and accidentally leave open a third door to the bullet. It is naturally insinuated by the phrasing of the question that in order to live I must have sex with one or the other, therefore making the third choice choosing neither family member and getting shot. Hidden though it may be, it is there. And in all seriousness, if there were ever a situation where I would have to have sex with either my brother or my father or I'd be shot, I'd actually choose the bullet.
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:: Heath 1:13 AM [+] ::

Question's gone
.....

:: David 6:23 PM [+] ::

Man, no sweat, I'd rather be mute all the way. Two reasons: 1) it would kill me not to be able to hear anything and 2) when you're deaf, you can't really talk well anyway because you never get to hear the proper way to phonate. Mute, totally mute. And as for my own question…

Much like Ryan, stupid me says lose the legs, and smart me says lose the junk. Unfortunately, I like the way stupid me thinks. Plus, you can't have no kids no matter how many legs you've got. I would want my children to look down at me and know I'm in that motorized wheelchair for THIER good. Thankless little urchins!
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:: Heath 5:41 PM [+] ::

Easy question Chewy....

I'm losing my Junior All American. I think i could pull a lot of sympathy for being in a wheelchair. Lots of sympathy=lots of tang. And yeah i won't have the use of my member, but i'd be able to do alot more things without mr. Southern than i would without the legs. Plus i could disribute my surplus tang to other markets that would appreciate said tang (you guys).

And as for being deaf or mute....

I would rather not be able to talk than lose my hearing. I'd hate to not be able to hear people talking crap about me...and u don't need your voice to hit those guys with a blindside punch. And also, i've talked enough in my life to last me the rest of the time. I can give that up. Plus, "don't ever underestimate the use of body language," as Ursula from Little Mermaid puts it.
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:: Ryan 5:40 PM [+] ::

this message was david posting on my name, instead of his, so its now deleated.
.....

:: Ryan 1:16 AM [+] ::

selfish me says hit the kid, real me says hit me.

stupid me says lose the legs, smart me says lose the junk.

Would you rather be deaf, or be mute (be able to talk, but not hear, or not be able to talk, but hear)?
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:: the wease 5:29 PM [+] ::

Legs...duh. 100% No question about it.
.....

:: David 5:24 PM [+] ::

I thought of something. As we all know, we just got done answering the paralyzed question. Something I noticed is that it was a fairly common question as to what happens...down there...when paralyzed. Whether or not you actually get turned on by anything, etc. etc. And this got me thinking...

Would you rather lose the use of your legs, or lose the use of your wedding tackle?
.....

:: the wease 10:52 PM [+] ::

I guess it's time to answer my own question. I think I would rather....umm....hit the kid. Yeah, all the lawsuits and court fees would make me poor, but I think since it was an accident I could avoid criminal charges. As terrible as I would feel, it's not as bad as being paralyzed. Sorry, Little Billy.
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:: the wease 7:09 PM [+] ::

hahaha, wow. Whats the link?
.....

:: Heath 6:25 PM [+] ::

Can i just say how weird it is to view a klein forum because you read about it in connies blog, then to see a link for the klein lesbian page thinking it had something to do with GSA, and then seeing girls that you'd seen around campus in high school...shirtless and making out. Ummm we don't see that kind of stuff here at OBU. I'm reading my Bible now.
.....

:: David 6:15 PM [+] ::

First of all: I'd rather be bald. No one will notice or care much if you're bald, but if you don't have eyebrows, that's like walking into a dog pound with steaks tied around your ankles. Whoopi Goldberg, 'nuff said.

To Weasel's question: There are lots of things to consider here, more than just the guilt of paralyzing a child (even though that would be somewhat overwhelming). You've also got to think of other consequences. There would be insuing law suits from the family, an investigation possibly, a criminal trial maybe (reckless endangerment), and who knows if they'd give you prison time for that kind of thing. Homie don't want to be paralyzed, but homie certainly don't want to go to jail. For the guilt, the law suits, the court problems, and the guilt involved with it all, I think I'd rather be the one paralyzed.
.....

:: Heath 6:11 PM [+] ::

And also...

My answer to my own question was...i'd rather be bald. I don't wanna have to pencil in my eyebrows like some girl would or how BJ Schafer should have in high school.
.....

:: Heath 6:03 PM [+] ::

Excellent question weas...

Well i'm gonna have to go with the selfish route on this one. As much as i hate guilt, i'd hate to lose the use of my legs and functions down there. How would one go to the bathroom when paralyzed from the waste down? I'm assuming you'd have to have a device to help ya out with that. And that answers the question for me right there...i don't wanna spend the rest of my life in a wheel chair with a little bag of urine being dragged behind me. And on my honor, i'd visit that kid at least once a week...twice until he's out of the hospital. Maybe even buy him a toy or something. Knowing how i drive, it was probly the kid's fault anyway for jumping in front of my car as if i had candy glued to my front fender. Poor kid...let this be a lesson in self-restraint.

Btw...i guess for now on for every "round" we do this everyone get's one turn in. So Ryan and Chewy are up next.
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:: the wease 12:55 PM [+] ::

Well, google recently bought blogger, or started sponsoring it or something. Since the two companies are in bed together, I bet they scratch each other's backs. I bet google ranks google.com with a 10. Arrogant bastards.

I'd go with bald. Would you rather run over a child and paralyze him or be that child?
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:: Ryan 9:25 AM [+] ::

holy crap, im on one of the lab puters, and on the toolbar, it has something called "page rank", and is descirbed as "googles measure of the importance of this page".......and our page is ranked a 7 out of 10. what the crap do they see that i dont???
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:: Ryan 9:23 AM [+] ::

bald, because its a social norm, whereas no eyebrows would be a social outcast. btw, your hair traits can be traced to your mothers side, so take a look at your mom's dad, and thats most likely who's hair yours will look like. i would like to say that i will grow old with a full head of never graying hair if things follow suit.
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:: Heath 9:33 PM [+] ::

Well it's been a while since i've posted. We need to get this thing back in order dangit. As far as holidays go, i'd have to say Christmas. We get so much time off school...or at least i did (cough cough February). And it just seems no one can be in a bad mood for it cuz it's such an awesome time of year. Not even to mention the toys...uhh i mean manly stuff you get for presents. It's gettin more and more now that our group doesn't have alot of time to hang out together and this is probly the best time cuz there's no school like there is in summer. And that's my answer...

NOW...to spice this site up...i've got an idea. We should play a game called "Would you rather". You give two options and we all have to choose one of those options regardless of how gross they are. These can be really simple or they can go to the gross side. Either way is cool with me. We played this weekend and it got a bit out of hand...but that's encouraged.

So i'll go first...Would you rather be completely bald for the rest of your life or have no eyebrows for the rest of your life? Go
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:: David 3:09 PM [+] ::

Does summer count as a holiday? I guess at this point, as far as actual academic holidays go, I'd have to say Christmas simply because it's the longest one and therefore allows me to do more things. That is, unless you count summer as a holiday. At least when you don't have school, I feel like it is. I'm sure if we had one, I could like fall break, too. Seeing as how we aren't a posh private school (cough, Weasel/Heath, cough), we don't have one. Ok, OBU isn't really posh per se, but it is private and it does have a fall break. As far as SMU goes, that school might as well be encased in diamonds and platinum. And maybe some cocaine.
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:: the wease 11:07 AM [+] ::

Ryan, that sounds like something I wouldn't love. You're weird.

And I might change my answer from Christmas to being in college. When I'm here almost every day is like a holiday. I stay up late, sleep in, play video games, watch movies. Oh sure, I go to classes here and there, but it's not that much of a hassle. I probably do more work via the chores I'm assigned at home. All that's missing are my friends.....and a curfew.
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:: Ryan 10:58 AM [+] ::

you know what i love, i love lower level computer classes that give you hours of work that you already know how to do, but you still have to sit and prove to the teacher that YES, YOU CAN PUT IN NUMBERS IN AN EXCEL WORKSHEET. YES, YOU CAN TYPE UP A RESEARCH PAPER THAT WAS ALREADY TYPED IN YOUR BOOK. YES, YOU CAN DO ALL OF THE SAME THINGS YOU COULD DO IN 3RD GRADE. FRICKEN WOW. I QUIT.

we have 15 printouts due at noon, i have four right now at 11, and that will be how many i am turning in, and this is how much i care.

0

I love Christmas, cause its when i get to see everyone for sure, and im home for quite a while. Thanksgiving is next because of food consumption, and i heart turkeys.
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:: the wease 9:05 PM [+] ::

Post, you deadbeats!
.....

:: the wease 10:43 PM [+] ::

Hmmm, holidays. My answer won't be very original.

Christmas is definItely #1. Presents, time off of school AND work, and a smorgasboard of meats, cheeses and sweets.

I guess Thanksgiving is next....for the whole food thing again. Or Spring Break. Although it's not an "official" holiday, it's a chance to do all sorts of crazy things, and then you can buy the videos for $9.99 afterward.
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:: David 11:01 PM [+] ::

Have we been neglecting this blog or what. As we all know, this weekend was Easter, and I just thought that I'd ask what's your favorite holiday. We'll even go so far as to say top 2 holidays (because there really aren't that many major holidays). Actually, just throw out whatever you want, but definately give your numero uno.
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:: the wease 5:17 PM [+] ::

Let's see...update:

Friday: Saw Hamlet in Waco. They rocked my socks off. Then Chewy and I stopped in Dallas to drop off his car and have an elegant meal at Jack in the Box. Then we drove to Heath's. Half of Oklahoma smells like ass. They watched Friday After Next, I fell asleep.

Saturday: Lunch, Anger Management (funny), Scrabble, the OBU variety show (featuring Harry Carey), dinner, museum caper, sleep.

Sunday: Lunch, the drive home.

It was a fast weekend, but you should have been there.
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:: Ryan 2:28 PM [+] ::

i at least expect an update on the weekends happenings

.....

:: the wease 1:05 AM [+] ::

*cough, cough*
*pin dropping*
*door creaking*
*change rattling*
.....

:: the wease 5:54 PM [+] ::

Tomorrow...
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:: David 6:59 PM [+] ::

Boy, I would. I'd bathe myself in relish and hot mustard. I'd be so delicious.
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:: the wease 11:17 AM [+] ::

If you must
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:: Ryan 12:30 AM [+] ::

brown mustard?
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:: the wease 11:16 AM [+] ::

It's a simple question
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:: the wease 11:16 AM [+] ::

If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
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:: the wease 2:41 PM [+] ::

Let's see....weird crazy teachers....

1. Mrs. Foster, in 7th grade English. We learned absolutely nothing in that class, she rewarded us with candy, and she got a little emotional when the class before our period made her cry.
2. Coach Long, in 6th grade gym. "I'm gonna tie your head into a double knot, bubba jack." He called everyone bubba jack. And he was old. And he filled up his pockets with pretzels before we went out on the track.
3. Mrs. Durio, 11th grade physics. One word - MOODY. Every morning we'd test the waters with a few well placed quips or pen fights to see how she was feeling. I'm just glad I wasn't a girl or Ronnie Urwin. She hated them.
4. Dr. Gosney, electronics course freshman year. This guy was just kooky and strange. His class was easy, he was nice, and his late penalty was only 2 points every class day late. I think he's just a big science nerd.
5. Mr. Henderson, 10th grade English. We watched Casablanca three times. He hated Mattress Mac and would have no problems telling us. He typed REALLY LOUDLY and with only 2 fingers. He would clip his nails with scissors into one of his desk drawers.

I guess that's all. Most of these teachers weren't very good, but boy were they crazy.
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:: David 9:51 PM [+] ::

In that case, I remember Ms. Alford (crazy in a bad way) and Ms. Durio (crazy in a good way), and other than that, the rest weren't really that unstable.
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:: the wease 9:50 PM [+] ::

Ok, I posted the question sort of wrong. This isn't necessarily a best teachers list - its a crazy teacher list. Like oh....let's say, for the sake of argument, that ms. sandoval was crazy. And we've all heard Dr. Frnka stories, I'm sure. SO keep in mind these don't have to be people you've liked, or that have influenced you in any way other than intense emotional scarring.
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:: David 9:44 PM [+] ::

Oh, but I forgot Dr. Haney. He was great, too. Weasel sat in on one of his lectures, the one that he played Kitchen Woman in. Remember that Weas? I can't even remember some of those lyrics, but man, I remember what they were all about.
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:: David 9:43 PM [+] ::

Let's see who I can come up with:

5) Ms. Wilson (now Mrs. Evans) - Choir teacher in 8th grade. She was great, especially after Ms. Alford (to all you choir students out there..."I got scratched by my cat. If this line reaches here on my arm, it means I have blood poisoning." Nightmare...). Maryanna I saw her over the Christmas break at TCBY, and we all had a fun talk. I still need to email her. Now I feel guilty. Let's move on.

Instead of doing number 4, we've got a 3 way tie for 2nd:

2) Dr. Salinas, Mr. Bennett, and Mrs. Durio - Dr. Salinas was my 301 intro prof. Hilarious guy, reminded me of a bigger Alan Alda. Plus, he told us stories. Now he's my 341K Learning and the Brain prof. Still a funny guy. Mr. Bennett was just a really great teacher. His class was always interesting. You know you've got a good teacher when you make the lowest grades you ever made in high school in his class, and you'd still take him again. I'd recommend him. Finally, Mrs. Durio. Man, did she ever hate Ronnie. Weasel knows what I'm talking about. She was just a fun teacher. I always enjoyed going to first period physics.

And now, my number 1 teacher...

1) Ms. McDaniel - She was my 4th grade teacher. I liked her so much, that when it came time for me and Jeff to have a babysitter the next summer, I asked if she could do it. And she did. She was just one of those really great teachers. I remember one time when we were all playing with her daughter's daughter, something happened and I sid something, I can't remember what. Then she told me I should be in psychology. Go figure. She was just special.

I've got to give an honorable mention to Ryan's mom. She was awesome, Texas History. Way to go, Mrs. Eneix.
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:: the wease 8:58 PM [+] ::

Chewy, for your own future best interests, I deleted your post. Trust me, it's better this way. Now for the next list. Top 5 craziest/weirdest/wackiest/most memorable teachers or professors.
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:: the wease 2:32 AM [+] ::

Don't forget our token jobs at a radio station, record company, casino, or oiling up models for their photoshoot.
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:: Ryan 6:05 PM [+] ::

truthfully, i am stumped. i could come up with something crazy or funny, but i look at these shows and say to myself "there is no way i would ever do this junk". not even for a million dollars would i marry a stranger, or even marry someone i just met a month ago, i just couldnt do it. personally, i am more of a fan of the real world type scenario, which founded all this reality mania. so my idea would be to tape the four of us living in an amazing house in houston, and we'd still have all the friends there, able to come over and what not at any time, and then we could have the taboo beatings on tape. at the end of the show, we would each get 2 million dollars, not for doing anything, but just because this is my made up show, and i would like 2 million dollars. thats my idea.
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:: Heath 5:32 PM [+] ::

Okay here's my idea...

It's kinda like Joe Millionaire meets Temptation Island meets ER. So here goes...

You have an attractive male that sadly has HIV. He's put on an island with i'd say 10 or so beautiful women. They're all fighting to win his heart and hand in marriage because whoever he chooses, they'll get five million dollars to live off the rest of their lives together. Here's the thing though...he narrows it down each episode by sleeping with a girl. He leads her on, then at the end of the date has unprotected sex with her. This makes her think she's the one he'll choose. But after they go out and do it, he dismisses her at the weekly council. On the plane ride home she's given a bouquet of flowers by the stuardess (sp?). In those flowers is a card from the male saying something to the effect of, "I'm sorry things didn't turn out well for you. PS...i have HIV and now you do too."

This goes on for all the girls until he gets to the last one whom he's in love with. On that last date with the one he's going to choose, he tells her the truth about his HIV. And if she stays with him they get the five million. But if not, they both get nothing.

The show is called "STD Roulette" and would of course be carried by the FOX network. What do u guys think?
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:: David 5:13 PM [+] ::

Alright, here's an idea for a "reality" show:

Get a handful of washed-up celebrities, 8 or so should do. They can't be any old regular washed-up celebrities, though. They have to be in financial trobule. Chapter 11 and in debt, up to their chin in the red. Give each celebrity loads of cash, hundreds of thousands, maybe even a couple of million in jewels, checks, cash, and precious metals. The money is theirs to keep, but there's a catch. the network drops all of them off in the ghetto somewhere for two weeks after alerting all of the local thugs that these loaded celebrities are there. The game continues until only one celebrity remains. If they get mugged, the can continue in the game and try to get their money back. If they get whacked, their game is over, and whatever thug took their bling bling gets to keep it. Also, the celebrities can whack each other and take each other's money. Whoever is the last survivor gets all the money that he's got on him, whether it be his own or from the cold bodies of celebrities he took out with a homemade shiv. They could call it "Hood Rats." It would be carried by either Fox or the WB.

Possible list of celebrity "guests":
MC Hammer
Vanilla Ice
Bruce Campbell (from the Evil Dead series)
OJ
Anyone from New Kids on the Block
Jose Canseco
LeBron James (come on, we all know it's going to happen)
Al Gore
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Joey Lawrance
.....

:: the wease 12:00 AM [+] ::

I will rant on my journal about reality TV, but I thought we could get a list out of it here. Long story short, I hate reality TV, but I have an idea for a new show:

3 eligible bachelors have unprotected sex with one lucky lady who gets pregnant. But we don't know who the father is, and neither do they. The men go through challenges to get clues to see who the father is, and they each try to convince the mother that they aren't the father. Eventually she has to pick one man who has to pay the child support. If she picks right Fox gives her a million dollars or something like that. If she picks wrong, Fox gets the baby. The show is called "My Three Dads."

The list is ideas for new TV shows - maybe reality, maybe not.
.....

:: Heath 3:39 PM [+] ::

And the answer is "this is the sound a dog makes"

MOOOOOOOOOO!!!

That is incorrect Mr. Connery

WELL THAT'S THE SOUND YOU'RE MOTHER MADE LAST NIGHT.

I'm sorry...the correct answer we were looking for was bow wow or ruff.

AH ROUGH. JUST THE WAY YOU'RE MOTHER LIKES IT.
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:: David 3:25 PM [+] ::

And the answer is "This movie title is taken from the name of the book Gone with the Wind."

DOLLY PARTON!!!

Famous titles Mr. Connery...

Not a fan of the ladies, are we, Trebek?
.....

:: David 2:13 PM [+] ::

That's the Saigon whore that bit my nose off!!!

Anyway, I've got a story that you guys should appreciate. I got a letter today in the mail from Connie (stay with me, you guys will like this well enough, I promise). I open the envelope to find a comic strip inside. At first glance, I notice it's a Foxtrot comic, which is my favorite. Thusly pleased, I go on to read the content of said strip. In it, nerdy little brother Jason is...that's right...folded in half in a lawn chair. While in this position, he says to his best friend Marcus who is sitting in a lawn chair next to him "Remember...what goes on at spring break, stays at spring break."

Folded...in half...in a lawn chair. Oh sweet irony.
.....

:: the wease 1:17 AM [+] ::

Let's change the topic to legal activities. Who wants to go pick up some Asian whores? Oh, right. That's not very legal. Unless we're.....in Nevada! Or Asia for that matter.


.....

:: the wease 8:47 PM [+] ::

Hmmm, we have to be careful who we kidnap and how we do it. 4 guys kidnapping a girl some of them hate and others have a painful history with crosses the line between friendly pranknapping and 4 party sexual assault, especially if we leave them naked at the border. The chloroform is all fun and games... until someone loses an eye. No matter what we do, we shouldn't discuss it here in public.
.....

:: Heath 12:10 PM [+] ::

Lots of blog action lately...i'm gonna have to start reading it more often then i have been.

Let's see...what are my plans for this summer? It's nice that you ask. I plan to go back home once again and work at Blockbuster where i will undoubtedly slack off and pretend to do actual work, all the while chatting with customers and friends i haven't seen since high school. Everyone and their mother comes into that place. Also, i plan to look pimp in my tux for my sister's wedding. I think i wanna be a tux model. Anyways, it is in Spring where i will decide whether to go back to OBU again or try my hand at something else. Either way, Heath needs to make some money this summer. I think a trip to ruston would be in order.

Now, as to the kidnapping talk. Yes Ryan we should have included you...maybe at the expense of Chewy. I know you would have come through. Next time we do it to someone though i'm makin sure one of us brings the chloroform. It'll be a less hectic situation that way. And i'm up for kidnapping someone, chloroforming them, and driving them to the border where we leave them with nothing but the clothes on their back...maybe not even that. But i'm getting ahead of myself. We have to decide first who to kidnap. If we're talkin maybe a female kidnapping you all know who gets my first and last vote. But a guy is harder to come up with.

Your thoughts?

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:: Ryan 12:32 AM [+] ::

nevermind, thats funny
.....

:: the wease 4:54 PM [+] ::

But how will we know we're getting the "real deal" from you, since as you imply, you have no obligations to us?

It's like joining the mob - we have to know you're not workin for the other guy before we let you run some drugs. It's nothing personal. It's good business.
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:: Ryan 2:57 PM [+] ::

now thats funny, not including me, and then somehow i have obligations to any of you? first off, never assume, you are all asses in the first place, but i dont want you drawing me into the picture, as the phrase goes. secondly, if you want to know the real deal, you can ask me individually, and i may tell you. you two should know better. shame on you, mr wease. shame on you, mr chewy.
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:: the wease 11:10 AM [+] ::

What? Ryan, you'd better 'splain yourself. If you're a liability I'll have no qualms about cutting you loose. None whatsoever. That goes for all of you. If you feel a tingling sensation on the back of your neck, don't worry. It's just a bullet entering the base of your skull.
.....

:: David 10:46 AM [+] ::

You know, I talked to Steve about that last time I saw him, Ryan, and he was very adamant about you being on his side at the time and saying that you were ready to go hand out a whoopin' and all he had to do was say the word. Why you playin' for both teams, Big Man? Why you bein' a hustla?
.....

:: Ryan 2:35 AM [+] ::

just dont make david the one who is to kidnap you. he will stand by and watch, thinking it just happens by itself, right?

you can all take that as me still being upset that i wasnt in on things.
.....

:: the wease 12:17 AM [+] ::

Teeming. Shouldn't biologists know how to use their own words? And that fake kidnapping or death idea is verry appealing. We could probably pull off a kidnapping if the victim was one of us, and willing. Or I could murder someone and steal their identity, or steal the identity of a missing person. Hmmm....
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:: David 12:02 AM [+] ::

Well, Weasel, if you really wanted to skip out on working that bad and I was in Lake Jackson, I'm sure you could fake your own kidnapping or death or something like that and hide in my brother's room since it's vacant. Oh, but if he visits you'll have to stay out in the shed. In biological terms, it's teeming (via correction by Weasel) with the miracle of life. In lay-man terms, your face will get eaten off by ants and lizards.
.....

:: the wease 6:23 PM [+] ::

Wow, Ryan. That sucks. Guess that teaches you a life lesson about paying your bills on time. And I'm all for taking a trip to Ruston (if you've paid your gas bill). Either during the summer or sometime before school is out.

As for my summer plans - I've got nothing. Job? School? Dont know. I don't need summer school. I'd like to work, but I don't have to. The only place I have to live is with my parents in Spring. It won't be so bad, except it will be. Curfew? yes. Chores? yes. Being forced to work? yes. I have no idea where to work or where to live. Frankly, nothing sounds very fun or appealing. Oh well.

Tim bought the new Zelda game. It looks really fun. I might get addicted.
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:: Ryan 5:59 PM [+] ::

i am an old man

will i be staying in my respective college town this summer? yes

will i be home for more than a months worth of time altogether thoughout the next year? prolly not

to see me outside of the times i am in spring, will you have to travel to ruston, la? most likely

did our gas bill go unpaid this past month? yes
in response, did the gas company turn off the gas to the house? when they said the gas would be turned off on monday, they meant monday 8 am.
did ryan try to take a shower, where the hot water is run by gas? sure did
was it fricken cold? without a doubt
did he scream like a little girl, thinking this would make it less cold? of course
did it help at all? of course not
did ryan shower elsewhere? yes, mostly at a friends house, but once, i had to venture back to where i never thought i would return to. thats right, the dorms. ick.
is the gas back on now? thank the Lord, yes
was this a total waste of time? do i even have to respond
.....

:: David 5:41 PM [+] ::

Been awhile since I've been here. It's like stepping back into your old house when it's about ready to be demolished and remembering all the memories that you had there. Except not. It's been busy as of late. With birthdays, tests, and sleep taking up most of my schedule, I haven't exactly been chomping at the bit to blog anything. Spring break is behind me, and May, while it feels decades away, is right around the proverbial corner. With all of this going on, it begs the question "David, what are you going to do this summer?" Um...good question. I know I need to take some hours, and as far as that goes right now my plans are to take literature for part of the summer and genetics along with my research lab for the second half. That's the closest it gets to be set in stone. I know the genetics and lab part will be in Austin, but the literature part is in question. I could be taking literature anywhere* (* - denotes "anywhere" as either Spring or Lake Jackson). What about a job, David? Ha, fat chance. As we all found out last summer, people don't like to give jobs to college students for only the summer unless you're working for the company of one of your parents. There is a slight exception to the rule, it is possible to get lucky and get 9 or 10 hours a week of minimum wage somewhere (as I did), or find an internship through connections (as Corey did). One thing is for sure concerning jobs and where I'll be: If I'm in Lake Jackson, I won't have a job for sure. Then again, if I'm in Lake Jackson I won't really need one because I wouldn't exactly be doing tons of driving during the week, nor spending lots of cash on various superfluous luxuries or events. Nor would I be paying rent to anyone. I'd actually probably end up getting an absolutely killer tan because I'd wash my car about 4 times a week for fun and do lawn work for several of the relatives that I have that live there. This will also be the last summer until I graduate that I live outside of Austin, as it is for lots of people my age and their respective college cities and towns.

On a related note, the summer course schedule comes out tomorrow (Tuesday), with the fall semester course schedule following right behind it on April 1st. Call me crazy, but I always get so excited planning my schedules. It's the only actually fun part of academics. Of course, now since I'm starting my upperdivisions, there aren't as many sections of the classes offered, and therefore not much variation in any combination of schedules I could have. Example: I have to take organic chem. 2 next fall, and there will be only one class of that. I'll probably be taking micro bio. too, and they don't offer a ton of sections of those. Throw in the organic lab, which is always a pain to try and schedule around because part of it is a 4 hour block, and there's really not a ton of leway in scheduling. Right now, I'm thinking that I'll be lucky if I can keep my Fridays relatively open. I need to start working in a hospital, too. Well isn't that just dandy. Just freakin' dandy.

The Oscars were...alright. I don't understand what Keanau needed to be there for. Was he going to win something? Honestly, couldn't they get someone else to present whatever he presented and just not invite Mr. Reeves. I think the most interesting part of the evening (other than Michael Moore's acceptance speech) was when Barbara Streisand (whose name I'm pretty sure I killed) announced that best original song went to Eminem. I'm almost positive she suffered a stroke on-stage as soon as she read the card, but had the good grace not to collapse until she got backstage. I don't think the Academy even bothered inviting Eminem. I doubt they wanted him there. I did notice, however, that his producer who accepted the award was wearing a rather snazzy throwback Grant Hill Piston's jersey. Oh, and by snazzy, I mean classless. Come on, this is the Academy Awards. At least spring for a Larry Bird or Wilt Chamberlain.

And you've just wasted 5 to 10 minutes of your life.
.....

:: the wease 12:40 PM [+] ::

Where'd you guys go? Are you hiding? This blog is quieter than a Tracy Morgan stand up special. There's so much going on in the world right now. Isn't it our duty to comment on it? No, it really isn't. But the oscars are tonight, hosted by Steve Martin who, despite Bringin' Down the House, is actually a funny guy.

You got me straight trippin' boo
.....

:: the wease 5:21 PM [+] ::

I'm a simpsons fan
.....

:: David 8:18 PM [+] ::

Or, for those Simpsons fans out there, "schowdair".
.....

:: Ryan 5:25 PM [+] ::

you mean "chowda".
.....

:: the wease 1:43 PM [+] ::

Neither can I, but it's probably because I focus on the negative things in life - What I don't have, what I don't know, what I can't do, who I don't know, who I can't do, what's wrong with everyone else. I'm seeking improvement for myself and the world. I'm not negative. I'm empowering. I'm helping to make this world a better place, a place where the streets run white with chowder.
.....

:: David 1:37 PM [+] ::

A more clearly stated version of my second to last post: I am not able to remember a period in time when things were awful then took a dramatic change for the better because my memory is not that spectacular.
.....

:: the wease 1:37 PM [+] ::

That doesn't help clarify. Learn to use a little thing called antecedents next time you post.

We're going to war tonight, fellas. Let's hope we don't get drafted. I'm in college, they can't touch me.
.....

:: David 1:28 PM [+] ::

Yeah, Weasel. Look at Ryan's post from the 14th.
.....

:: the wease 9:25 PM [+] ::

What's a really rough blog post? Did I miss something, chewy? what question are you responding to?
.....

:: David 6:52 PM [+] ::

You know, that's really a rough blog post. I mean, that's awfully hard to point out. I can't even remember what happened a week ago, much less a week that could've been years ago. Although, I've got to say that this week certainly is shaping up to be ugly, and next week doesn't look much better. Homework, biology studying, revision of a psych paper, still have to find a place to live for next year.

Speaking of a place to live next year, come Wednesday I'll be looking at a house. It's a 3-1. From the description, it doesn't sound bad. Wood floors, carpeted bedrooms, yada yada yada. The $1150 a month rental makes me wonder what's wrong with it, because I can't imagine a 3-1 being that cheap here unless it's A) delapadated or B) inconvenient. It could be both. Let's hope it's neither. Oh the fun of it all.

And another thing, what's up with gas prices? A few more months of this, and I'll barely be able to afford to breathe. I mean, really, come on. I remember the days when you could get a gallon of regular unleaded for 99.9 cents. And now look at what we've come to: If I see unleaded for less than a dollar fifty, it's a bargain. I actually paid 15 bucks to fill up my car. 15 dollars?! I own a civic! I should never have to pay more than 11.50, 12 tops, to fill her up. Maybe I should go out and win the lottery.
.....

:: the wease 11:19 AM [+] ::

Just to dispell rumors on other blogs out there, the girls did win in taboo, but the guys went a little easy on them, made some concessions to make it fair. Too many concessions, it would seem. They're lucky ryan wasn't there. And Ryan was lucky he wasn't there....disgraceful. Just disgraceful.
.....

:: the wease 5:52 PM [+] ::

I had a pretty good spring break. Nothing big ever happened, but I was able to have some fun and cause some mischief, especially when my parents were out of town. Being in spring when the fam is gone is great. A week of spades, axis and allies, movies and taboo. And the occasional menial task around the house. It was good to see everyone, and now I'm back to the blog and the journal.
.....

:: Ryan 11:39 PM [+] ::

to further explain my last post that each of you so anxiously jumped to respond to...

This week started off like crap, starting to tuesday, where i had to go and register for classes at 8, but unless i wanted to wait in a line that formed down the three flights of stairs all the way outside for hours, i had to get there at 7 and just wait, which i did, getting up around 6:30. When i got to where it was supposed to be, someone that worked there (person A) said it wasnt being held there, so we went where they said to go, at which point people there had no clue what person A was talking about, and told us to go back, where we found a line full of people greeting us. there were about 5 seats left in each of the classes i wanted to get into, but whenever i tried to get them, they were both taken. how fun is that??

i ended up getting a seat added to one class, but as for the other, i would have to wake again at 6:30 the following day to stand in line for drop/add, to try to get into the class i couldnt get into earlier, or another class with the same time, which i did, and got all the classes i wanted. i was tired of getting up early, tired of getting the run around, tired of a whole lotta crap.

that night, my date to the spring formal had to inform me that because of complications, she was unable to go to the formal. i totally understood where she was coming from, but still felt like this week just kept taking its punches at me. i decided that even tho i had already rented the tux, and made reservations and such, that i prolly wouldnt go to the formal any more. there was only one person that i really thought of asking, if i were to ask another to the formal, but i didnt see it happening for several reasons. i wanted instead to come to Htown and party in the fake beach with yall, but what do you know, that was no longer the plan. yay for this week

thurs night, i was at family group at someones house, and i got a phone call. it would be as if we were all at weases, and the phone rang, and it was someone asking for me, really odd, but it was a friend asking if i was planning on asking anyone, and if i wasnt, she had this great girl that she wanted to suggest to me. i asked for her suggestion, just to see who she would say, and it ended up being the same girl who i spoke of earlier. one thing led to another, and i asked her, she said yes, and we were both psyched to be going with each other. last night was amazing, the dinner, the dance, staying out just talking with her, my roommates, and their dates until 4:30 am, knowing we all had to get up at 8 in the morn. everything was amazing, and i am really glad that i chose to go to the formal, otherwise my crappy week would prolly still be going.

this was a really long post, but its my post for the list. hope you all jump on posting as quickly as you did last time. can i also get a posting of taboo results, and the high showing for the night? lata
.....

:: Ryan 3:15 PM [+] ::

can i just take this moment to say that its really amazing how things always work out? even when your week is p00, ad everything is going wrong, everything always comes full circle. theres a list for you. give an example of when you felt like the world was crashing down on you, but then everything took a dramatic change for the better before you knew it. I will be able to post mine after tonight. hope yall are havin fun down there.

lata
.....

:: David 4:37 PM [+] ::

Well, this was just an interesting list. Heath took away the obvious stuff (i.e. things pertaining to and/or involving Connie), so since then I've been racking my brain to come up with things that really get my blood flowing. As I've come to find, there aren't 5 things that get me really excited. Not only that, but the ones that do have already been listed for the most part. All in all, I was disappointed with this turn of events. But I'll go ahead and list what I can (being current, of course).

-The whole performance thing that everyone and their mom has already said. When Heath and I did the intro at the musical, that was straight up fun. I've also got an oral presentation of my psych paper at the end of the semester that I'm actually excited about. You heard me right, I'm excited about presenting a paper on memory for emotional events. A sad, sad day.

-I just thought of this one. I really get excited when I can come back and spend more than just a few days in a place that I actually find familiar and homey. I don't think alot of people really understand what I mean. It's an EXTREMELY rare occurance and won't be happening for awhile yet. And along with that usually comes the whole seeing old friends aspect of excitement.

-Doing stupid things for fun. I don't mean stupid like getting someone knocked up at a party or something, I mean stupid like Weasel's making "videos of a humorous nature." Stuff like that.

-At the risk of certain humiliation at the hands of Tweedledee and Tweedledumb (you know exactly who you are), I'm going to go ahead and stick my neck out and say, yes, I am excited about prom. I know, I know, please before you even bother to open your mouth or start typing a response, let me just give you a premptive shut up. Don't even say a word. Not one. I don't want to hear it, nor am I interested in your opinions or witty repitoire of "you're lame" jokes. I'm excited about prom for reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that it is prom, so keep it to yourself.

That's...really...about it. All I could pump out was 4. We'll just call it 4.5 for good measure. And now I'm hungry.
.....

:: the wease 1:07 PM [+] ::

more things that excite me

- getting dressed up and going out
- doing things late at night, like driving to the west end or going to IHOP and watching Ryan beg for free milk.
- making videos of a humorous nature
- making videos of an adult nature
- going to theme parks with lotsa roller coasters
.....

:: Heath 2:14 AM [+] ::

Five things that really excite me...

1.) hangin out with old friends that i don't get to see very often
2.) getting to perform in front of other people...i've gotten to do it a bit lately and i really miss it.
3.) intramural sports- it's sooooo competitive here and it gives me a break from school.
4.) watching 24- it comes on once a week and i get excited every time i get to watch it
5.) right when you're starting out liking someone

I'm sure there are more but i'm stumped for now...i'll probly post later.
.....

:: Ryan 6:14 PM [+] ::

exciting things.

1. seeing old friends
2. hanging out with marjie and cassie (marjie and cassies answer when asked "what are things that get me excited".)
3. music
4. getting dressed up.
5. shows from high school, but they arent current, if i had to make a current pick, it would have to be sitting and getting into deep conversations with people who can open up and carry one.

yay
.....

:: the wease 3:43 PM [+] ::

Ok kids, I'm killing time in the student center while I wait for hannah to et out of class. Let me try to finish out the rest of my "exciting things" list. 5 things, not ranked:

- Traveling is still on there. I like the feeling of leaving for a journey, of picking up with my life in a bag and my trunk. If gas just weren't so damn expensive. Fucking arabs. Fucking eskimos
- Even though it's been a good 2 years, show nights. Plays were fun and will always be a part of me.
- Not finishing something like a paper or a scholarship application on time, and then receiving an extension. It's revitalizing.

oops, gotta go. To be continued...
.....

:: the wease 11:40 AM [+] ::

Disclaimer: I did not sleep last night. Yes I'm a idiot.

1. SLEEP
2. Travelling, taking a trip
3. Having sex with chewy's girlfriends
4. pissing chewy off
5. repeat steps 3-5
.....

:: Heath 1:48 AM [+] ::

Okay, here's a list that i think will suffice...

Name the top five things that get you most excited. I mean when you're about to a certain something or see a certain someone or anything, it gets ya all giddy or pumped and you can't wait to start. Yes, yes Chewy we all know you're giddy about connie, so try to focus on other things.
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:: the wease 12:59 PM [+] ::

Then heath, post a list that's exciting or substantial. Remember, it takes a village to sacrifice a virgin...or something like that.
.....

:: Heath 12:47 PM [+] ::

As i've stated before...

I'm a child of pop culture therefore i can't think of any songs i like that no one has heard of. Well you can consider plenty of Bebo Norman songs of the love variety...and he's not that famous. So there it is.

Now as for songs that describe me...
Sisqo- "The Thong Song"
Ludacris- "Fantasy"
Sir Mixalot- "Baby Got Back"
50 Cent- "P.I.M.P."
Nsync- "Makes Me ill"

Maybe i'll think of some others later on.

PS...these lists used to be a lot more fun. We need ones that create excitement. Songs are okay every once in a while, but we need lists with more substance or humor.
.....

:: David 12:39 PM [+] ::

Allow me to drop some knowledge on you: the "rg" combination in certain words is a root meaning "hard work." An example of this is the word "orgasm." I kid you not. Does anyone else find this ironic or funny? The things you learn from old professors in medical terminology just blows my mind.
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:: David 11:45 AM [+] ::

I had no idea what I was going to put up for this blog, but then the song popped up on my winamp, and I knew that it was me...

"Take it from me, it's hip to be square." - Huey Lewis and the News

I hate to acknowledge it, but it's true. So very, very square. I'm sure there are some other ones out there that would work just as well, but this one just popped up at the wrong time.
.....

:: the wease 11:18 AM [+] ::

Heath, where are your love songs? You know others besides "Girlfriend" right? If not, that's ok, too. It seems to work well enough for you.

This crazy music kick yields a lot of topics. I've got another one, but feel free to propose something non-musical if you're tired of it. I'm getting all verklempt. Discuss. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic - song lyrics that remind you of yourself.

I'll start the bidding with THE lyric for me:
"Divine apathy, disease of my youth. Watch that you don't catch it" - Lucky by Seven Mary Three

My only fear is that it's not a disease of my youth.
.....

:: the wease 11:11 AM [+] ::

Saddam Hussein has a moustache. That, I think, clinches the fight in favor of him. Plus I think Bush's body (and mind) have been ravaged after years of cocaine and alcohol abuse. But Saddam, he gasses his own people, which is a great work out.
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:: David 7:50 PM [+] ::

That's a no brainer. Saddam has at least 3 inches on Dubya, but what you're really got to look at is reach. Whoever has the longer reach will be able to land the jabs easier, and once the jabs start falling, the fight is all but over. All we need now is Mickey to come along and say "Rock, you got no talent, but you got heart!"
.....

:: the wease 11:23 AM [+] ::

Who do you think is taller? Saddam Hussein or George W. Bush?
.....

:: Ryan 3:14 PM [+] ::

FYI - i played "the way you look tonight" at senior drama banquet, im positive i did because i danced with AF to it.

forever - ben harper
anything lionel richie, hes a balla fer shure
ready for love - india arie
cupid - 112
ill have to look up the rest. holla back yungen (wooo woooo)
.....

:: David 1:00 AM [+] ::

I second Weasel on Live - I Want to Dance with You

But check this out, I've got to go old school with something. Eric Clapton - The Way You Look Tonight. The man is simply a genius, and I'm sure no one from our generation even thinks about that song.

Also, Nat King Cole has a plethera of excellent love songs. Fly Me to the Moon, Sweet Lorraine, Love (L is for the way you look at me...), and of course everyone knows Unforgettable. Great, great stuff from a great, great man.

Tal Bachman - If You Sleep. I'll bet that no one knows this song.

Sarah Mac - Song for a Winter's Night. Oh my GOODNESS! Spectacular song. Fellas, put this song on when you're with your girl next to a roaring fire and let the love commence. Maybe I should take my own advice more often.

Bob Seger - Why Don't You Stay. I hope I got that one right. I think that's who sang it and I think that's the name of the song, but I can't be too sure. I'm only fairly certain.

I could go on for a little while more, but I'll contain myself and end it here. Besides, I'm tired and I've got a long drive to Lake Jackson tomorrow. It feels longer than it actually is, which is either good or bad depending on how you look at it.

.....

:: the wease 11:45 PM [+] ::

Love songs - I want to dance with you, by Live. And All I Want is You by U2. There might be others but I'm not in a thinking mood. Of course "Let's Get it On" is the all time greatest love song, but we all knew that.
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:: the wease 11:08 AM [+] ::

I demand satisfaction
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:: Ryan 6:03 PM [+] ::

to catch up....
reason ive been quiet? cause i started the last few lists, wanted to give others a chance.
copulate fornicate....eh.....just say do it, get freaky, or say nothing and do repeated pelvic thrusts.
new list? best love songs that most dont already know. no songs that youve heard at every dance since 8th grade (lady in red).
.....

:: David 2:27 PM [+] ::

Weasel, do you realize that by using the word "fornication" and the phrase "I demand satisfaction" in the same paragraph, you have unintentionally posted one of the single funniest things on this blog to date?
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:: the wease 12:08 PM [+] ::

I disagree, Chewy. Say fornicate with a sophisticated, southern gentlemen accent. (Like the I demand satisfaction guy) You will see it take on a whole new light. "She was caught in the act..... of fooornication!"
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:: David 9:56 AM [+] ::

I disagree, Heath. It's all about the sounds that are made in the words. There is nothing fun about saying the word fornicate, nothing you can do with it, and no way you can look good saying it. Think about it, face all scrunched up from the "forn" at the beginning, a nasal sounding "ate" afterwards because you have to overcompensate for being all diminuitive with your face in the first syllable. No, there's nothing spectacular about the word fornicate. It's a blue-collar word at best.

Copulate, on the other hand, can be said in good form, smoothly, with tall vowels and a raised soft palet. Now THAT'S what I call a word. High-class all the way.
.....

:: Heath 8:37 AM [+] ::

Yes they are very similar words but at the same time have a distinct difference in definition.

But let me ask you this...doesn't it just sound better to say, "Chewy was caught fornicating on the kitchen table"? Yes you could substitute "copulate" in but it just wouldn't have the pizazz it does now.

Agreed?
.....

:: the wease 2:07 AM [+] ::

But now we're comparing apples to oranges. Very wonderful apples and oranges, but apples and oranges nonetheless. Now we're asking if it's better to use a term that means "sex" or one that means "sex between two unmarried (to each other) people." That's like asking if it's better for Bill to do Hilary or Monica. The answer may be neither, but they are two different sides of one very ugly coin.
.....

:: David 11:58 PM [+] ::

An amendment to my fornicate/copulate arguement:

Fornicate just means sex out of marriage. Two unmarried people.

I still say copulate is better.
.....

:: David 1:09 PM [+] ::

The blog has been slow for the past few days, so now it's time for me to post something at the very least. This isn't a list, nor is it a proposition for a list. It's simply a little summary of my day. I only do this because today was special: it was an ice day.

We got school off today. Not that I had any class, just my usual work in the Mabry lab, but even that got cancelled. And now to the amusing part of my story. I'm walking to the bio labs not more than 20 minutes ago to see if it's actually cancelled. My usual route takes me across a blacktop parking lot that runs at a fairly nice angle. So, me being infinitely smart and full of common sense with the knowledge of ice and it's properties with friction, decide not to deviate from my normal path. That being said, I ate it. Mind you I only ate it once, but I ate it nonetheless. Then, to really cap it off, on the way back to the dorm, I saw a bra hanging from a tree. Which leads me to ask just one question...

...what kind of sick tree wears a bra?

Ice days make people do some crazy things.
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:: David 4:51 PM [+] ::

If you want to be technical, copulate would really be what you're looking for. 'Copulate' simply refers to the act of sexual intercourse, or "doing it" as you so succinctly put it. 'Fornicate' is used explicitly to mean sex for the purpose of procreation.

Plus, copulate just sounds better.
.....

:: Heath 1:34 AM [+] ::

Quick poll...

What's a better word for "doing it"?

Copulate or Fornicate?
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:: Ryan 1:22 AM [+] ::

are you that somebody - aylliya (i dunno how you spell it) - when i first got my car, i was driving it back home on 45, windows down, thrilled, and this song came on, i dont remember any other song that came on other than this one. it was the jam of that summer, and it always reminds me of this moment when it comes on.
.....

:: the wease 1:19 AM [+] ::

All the wrong places, apparently. I mentioned her way back in the early posts about girls you liked but with whom nothing ever happened. She was probably my best friend for a year or so there, before she went off to college. We kind of helped each other through difficult times that year, and for that I'm lucky.

And we copulated on the hood of her car behind 7-11
.....

:: Heath 1:07 AM [+] ::

Weas wrote: "Slide reminds me of Emily. It came out when we got to be really close and we listened to it a lot driving places."

Now my question is...how close were you and what places did u drive to to get that close?
.....

:: the wease 9:52 PM [+] ::

"...Chewy, we must have looked quite funny..." Wow, Heath. That's a very careful way of saying you and chewy must have looked like butt buddies. Almost....too careful. Hmmm...

Ani Difranco: Stefanie Ceretta, for obvious reasons. Where is she anyway? I liked her. She thought I was funny....
.....

:: Heath 9:39 PM [+] ::

Hmm this is an interesting topic...i doubt i'll get them all in here but i'll try.

Gotta start out with of course Nsync...

No Strings Attached (Bye Bye Bye and It's Gonna be Me mainly)- Well like chewy said this reminds me of senior year variety show. But there's a whole lot more too. There's junior year lunches hangin out with Casper, Shane, and Lindsey. They couldn't get enough of NSync. I was kinda like the drug dealer who would bring "the stuff" each day.

Celebrity- This reminds me of the two concerts i went to with the drama group and then the one where it was just me and chewy. Man Chewy, we must have looked quite funny being there but i had a blast.

Ludacris- This is a split one. When i hear "Saturday" i think about when ryan first showed it to me. Great song...sends a solid message. haha Then there's "Fantasy" and when i hear that it goes to Chewy cuz we always would sing that and get hoes cuz of it. Seeing a pile of library books has never been the same after that song.

Anything from Science by Incubus- the brief time me and Amanda Seidl dated she'd get hot flashes just thinkin about it

I'm goin to have coffee with AF...be back to finish in a bit
.....

:: Ryan 5:38 PM [+] ::

lets hear it for having your blog post all typed out, and then the power goes out as you press "publish". lets try this again

breakdown by mariah - oh what a wonderous day

shimmer by fuel reminds me of david because it seems to come on the radio everytime we are in a car together.

the surfacing album by sarah mc reminds me of catherine for many reasons, esp. one song, and its not the song you would think of first. ask me and ill tell you the story.

walk away by ben harper reminds me of kim, becuase i introduced that song to her, and she really liked it, but afterwards it took on new meaning. check it out.

baby got back - guess who birthed that tradition on WSS??

im blank now, ill send in more later, im just gonna make sure this one gets posted. power, please dont fail me now.
.....

:: David 3:28 PM [+] ::

Weasel, I've just got to give you mad props on those last two entries for this list. Who could forget the "mormons" running along the valley and Live playing loudly in the auditorium, not to mention through the thick clouds of tension in the car on the way to banquet? Good times, man. Good times. Excellent entry on Weasel's part.
.....

:: the wease 3:09 PM [+] ::

In "as i remember them" order-

-Walk on the ocean: After all this "WE SPOTTED THE OCEAN..." talk it will remind me of Ryan. Before that it reminded me of nothing.
-Shimmer, by Fuel; and Wonderwall by Oasis will both remind me of Brad, my best friend from 3rd grade until sometime in high school. Shimmer because he would always sing the wrong words to it, and Wonderwall because, well, it's a long story so I'll just say, "Jennifer...like a wall."
-Brilliant Dance by Dashboard Confessional: Krystal was obsessed with this song.
-The Goo Goo Dolls' songs Slide and Name: Slide reminds me of Emily. It came out when we got to be really close and we listened to it a lot driving places. Name takes me back to a totally different era, my 7th grade year. It reminds me of hanging out with Michael, Leon, Adam, Todd, and Brad. Specifically I remember when Michael bought the CD and we listened to it in his room while playing the brand new Mario 64 - the greatest thing we had ever seen.
-Bush songs will remind me of Cassie because she's so pathetically obsessed, except for Come Down because Leon really liked that song.
-Run to the Water by Live and By the Risin' of the Moon (an irish drinking/folk song): The Beauty Queen of Lenane all the way. This play was one of my best high school memories. Klein Drama wouldn't be what it is to me without this memory.
-Live Lightning Crashes: Driving to drama banquet junior year in Chewy's dad's 2000 Honda Accord with the windows down and the music pounding all around us. Or maybe that was Monica summoning her brethren from the depths of Hades while she sat up front. Can anyone say "5th wheel?"

Aight, dogs. That's all for now, but I'm sure more will come to mind. This list will most likely be an ongoing topic that we always go back to. At least for me.

.....

:: David 8:45 AM [+] ::

This is a good call. Lots of people don't think of this kind of stuff. Right now, I'm going to keep it short and sweet because I've got class here in a minute, but later on this afternoon I might add some stuff onto it. In chronological order:

Sir Mix-a-lot - Baby Got Back and Herman's Hermits - Henry the Eighth, I Am
Always makes me think of sophomore year drama. The second one really makes me think of Charlie. That was all good.

Shawn Mullins - Shimmer
JB. We discovered that song together. Actually, I think he found it and had me listen to it. Either way, almost the same thing.

Mariah Carey - Breakdown
Yeah, Ryan, you know what's up. Word. That's about all I can say to that one. Break, breakdown...

Sarah MacLachlan - Angel
Drama banquet sophomore year.

Bic Runga - Sway
First kiss.

Slender - I Think God Can Explain
Unfortunately, this is the song that was playing when I got called downstairs so my parents could tell me they were getting divorced. Kind of put a murky glow on the entire cd for the rest of its days.

Train's Drops of Jupiter Album
Trip to Florida with Ryan. Man, that was just off the heezy...fo sheezy.

Toad the Wet Sprocket - Walk on the Ocean
Makes me think of Ryan. "WE SPOTTED..." (click).

Nsync - Bye Bye Bye
You know I've gotsta think about variety show senior year. We were fly, Heath. Straight up dope. Word.

Harry Connick, Jr. - Wink and a Smile and Philadelphia Orchestra - Clair de Lune
Both of these actually make me think of Connie. The first one because I sang it to her in the park one night (I sucked, by the way. Downright awful. I was really nervous, shut up). The second because it was playing one night while we were in my car and we were both quiet, but it was one of those times where no one needed to say anything. Quite nice.

Time for class.
.....

:: the wease 7:54 PM [+] ::

ooooh,methinks melikes this list. Good call, ryan. Very good call.
.....

:: Ryan 6:31 PM [+] ::

ok, new list. i think it shall be a good one.

I often associate songs with people, or times in life. This can be good (everytime you hear that certain song, it reminds you of that time/person) or bad (everytime you hear that song, it reminds you of that time/person....). Do you have any songs that just remind you of certain times, and is it a good or bad thing. I wont give my entire list right now, but i will give examples, just to start off.

"heres to the night" by eve 6, as well as the entire second train cd remind me of Florida vacation with david after my senior year. We must have heard Heres to the night about 200 times over that week, as it was in its peak on the radio, and it was/is a jam. Each night we would walk along the beach and just talk, often accompanied before or afterward with the train cd. The main jam i remember about that week was "hopless", it was the first time i was introduced to it. Both are a good thing, because it was a good week, a great week. also, everytime "walk on the ocean " appears on a mix cd of mine, i remember how much david made fun of me for it being on over half of them. we got to the point where we just skipped over it when we heard it, so all we heard was "We spotted the ocean.....". To this day, when david wants to poke fun, all he has to do is sing those 4 words, and we both know what is being said. see, you get three for the price of one example.

There you go, run with it from there. ill post my others later on.
.....

:: the wease 2:10 PM [+] ::

Before Chewy relented (WEAK!) he asked us if Heath was the biggest crybaby ever, or something to some such effect. Yes, yes he is.

[edit] I can't believe I just saw this one now! I'm getting old. Anyway....here goes nothing.

"But Heath, I'd still like to say that your crack is inappropriate here." Sounds like Connie's the one with an inappropriate crack!
.....

:: David 1:33 PM [+] ::

I relent. But Heath, I'd still like to say that your crack is inappropriate here.
.....

:: Ryan 11:01 AM [+] ::

i am the best singer EVER
.....

:: the wease 11:49 PM [+] ::

Walk on the ocean - Ha! Ryan, your rendition of it is one of the funniest things I've heard. Record a cover of it and send it on over here.

I hate putting the same version of the same song on multiple mix CD's. In fact, I'm making list of all my mixes so I don't do that. Crazy? maybe. Particular? Yes. Resulting in varied mixes? You betcha!

And I've got another sort of project, but you guys might hate this one, too. What if we made a Super Smash Bros mix. A mix that represents what we're about, or gives the essence of this website. Could be cool, could be a disaster.
.....

:: Ryan 11:21 PM [+] ::

complete cd's -
weezer - blue album
lifehouse - no name face
sarah mc - fumbling (she has a new album coming out this year, btw david, in which her manager says the greatest song she has ever sung will be released on, read more about it on her official website)
splender - halfway down the sky
alison krauss - double live

im sure there are more, this is off the top of my head, and yes, i had them there before i saw everyone elses, we just all have great taste in music.

mix cd - i have too many, but as david can attest, there are staples that are sure to be on majority of them, ie. walk on the ocean - toad the wet sprocket, fast car - tracy chapman, pardon me - incubus etc etc. most of my mixes go fast to slow, rather than jump around. weeeeeeeeeee

.....

:: Heath 10:41 PM [+] ::

Well i'm gonna go with david and say weas's idea about listing your favorite mix isn't a good one. They kinda are all the same in likeness so i can't choose between them. But as for the CD's that never get old, here goes...

Nsync- No Strings Attached and Celebrity- yeah Chewy said i'm sick for liking them. But i'll tell ya this...one of us named a part of Connie's anatomy "Justin" because it would make him "feel more comfortable about doing stuff"....and it wasn't me.

Lifehouse-No Name Face- i agree with Chewy on this one...it just never gets old. There new one was an utter disappointment.

Wallflowers- there first Cd i think- it's the most famous one and it's famous for a reason....it's another one that always stays in my disc changer for long drives.

Michelle Branch- her debut album- yeah it may be chick music but it's catch and puts me in a good mood.

Justin Timberlake- Justified- yeah you all are gonna laugh but you have NO idea how many people up here love it- and we're talkin hardcore punk rockers and Christians...the two hardest to sway when it comes to music.

Bebo Norman- his first CD...it's name is on the tip of my tongue but i can't remember it.-AMAZING, simply amazing. His second CD is gettin to that point too where it doesn't leave the CD player.

Moulin Rouge soundtrack- One of those that no matter how many times you listen to it, you wanna sing with it. I don't care what others say but Ewen McGregor is a beast in the stuff he sings. It may not be the best but it illicits a response from ya.

Chicago soundtrack- You may say that this hasn't been out long enough to make this list. But it's stayin on here. I think after this movie i'm gonna be in love with Renee Zelwegger (sp?) and Catherine Zeta Jones...take your pick as long as i get one.

Aight i'm sure there's more i'm not thinking of...i'll post again if they come up in my head.

.....

:: the wease 9:14 PM [+] ::

shitface
.....

:: David 9:12 PM [+] ::

Weasel says I'm "screwing him" on this list, so ok, I'll stop holding out on him and list my favorite mix. It's that one with the songs on it that I made that one time before I went a long drive to (name of a relatively far off place). Yeah, that was a good mix. It had that slow song by that girl, and then that rock song by that band. Oh, and let's not forget the ballad by what's-his-face. What a great mix.
.....

:: David 4:59 PM [+] ::

While I take a study break, I'll go ahead and answer this list. Unfortunately, Weasel, not everyone can play this game. Picking between my mixes is like you trying to do your homework - it just can't be done. My mixes generally have no theme to them, nor do I mark them with anything. I'm equal opportunity. When I stick that cd in the player, it's like Christmas (or a game of Monopoly). Igitur, heu, non possum respondere tibi. Sorry.
.....

:: the wease 11:17 AM [+] ::

Aight, to continue on this music kick and to make a game that hopefully everyone can play, here's another question. What's your favorite mix cd or tape that you own, and what's on it? I realized my mixes (of public domain, non copyrighted material) are my favorite cds. Heath, you've got a lot of catching up to do. And I have some homework to do. I'll come back to this one.
.....

:: David 11:15 AM [+] ::

I thought of another good song that falls under the list two lists ago, but I have to put it up now because I've just got to. Besides, we're still talking about music.

Shawn Mullins - Shimmer
.....

:: David 12:00 AM [+] ::

Wow, most complete albums of all time. That's a tough one. Ryan's right, there aren't many out there that can make the cut on that one, but I can think of a few off the top of my head. I don't know if I'll be able to think of any others. These are all going to be on the older side of things since I haven't bought a cd in awhile. Either that, or I'm just starting to show my age. Next thing you know, I'll be talking about the "young whipper-snappers" and how "I never had things like that growing up." Uh oh...I've already used that second one before. Let's just move on before I start to wrinkle like a prune.

Weezer - The Blue Album (of course)

Sarah Mac - Yeah, Surfacing, but ESPECIALLY Fumbling Towards Ecstacy. I can't get enough of that album. I could pop in Fumbling and just listen to it for days on end.

Goo Goo Dolls - Dizzy Up the Girl. One of my favorite bands of all time.

Third Eye Blind - Um...I'm pretty sure it's a self-titled album, don't quote me on that, though. To make sure you know the one I'm talking about, it's the one with Semi-Charmed Life and Jumper. My favorite song on there, though, is Motorcycle Drive-By. Goosebumps just thinking about it.

Nine Days - The Madding Crowd. I don't know how many of you out there actually know this album, but you'd probably recognize some of the stuff from the band if you heard it.

Brian McKnight - Anytime. Of course, there's a song by the same name on the album. Talk about some jams, that album could set the mood for some sweet sweet lovin'. No lie. You could lay it down with this one.

Splender - Halfway Down the Sky. Yes, the band spells it with an 'e'. This album takes me back. I certainly can't deny the depth of it. Heavy stuff.

Lifehouse - No Name Face. Like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going and going...until it ends.

Vertical Horizon - Self-titled album. It's the orange one. I'd completely forgotten about this one until a song of theirs popped up on my winamp.

Train - Drops of Jupiter. The title song isn't even the best one on the album. Some nice acoustical work.

The Sleepless in Seattle Sountrack - I know this isn't what you had in mind because it's compelation cd, but I listened to it about 20 times this weekend. Makes me think of umbrellas.

That's my list. Now, you might be saying "Chewy, I thought you were an 'Nsync freak almost as pathetic as Heath. What about their stuff?" First, I'd like to say that when it comes to 'Nsync, I'm in no way as sick as Heath (Did you know that Heath birthed Joey Fatone's kid? Well, if you didn't, the cat's out of the bag now. Sorry, Heath. I know the love child was supposed to be your little secret with Joey, but I couldn't live with the horror of it any longer). Now, in all seriousness, I will say that I do enjoy both Celebrity and No Strings Attached, but neither of them are complete albums. And everyone knows the first album isn't a complete album.

And Ryan, where oh where is your peeve list...?
.....

:: Ryan 9:46 PM [+] ::

to maybe make it a little easier, you may also throw out some cds that no matter how old they are, or how much you listen to them, they never get old to you. By the last two posts, can you tell that im in a music kick?
.....

:: the wease 9:26 PM [+] ::

Wow - this is sad. I don't have any. Sure I like music and all, but I never buy Cds. I think I own about 10. Maybe I'll put U2's greatest hits 80-90 on there, but I dont really think greatest hits albums count. So with that said - I have none.
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:: Ryan 9:15 PM [+] ::

ok, give a list of the most complete albums of all time. cds that you can for the most part just push play and let it ride. for example (just cause i want to be the first to list it), Weezer's first album, the Blue one. There are not many that can fit in this catagory, so i wont make a limit, just list what ya got. I bet you i can guess one of davids already....as it will be on mine as well.
.....

:: the wease 1:37 PM [+] ::

I missed a spot shaving yesterday. Damnit.
.....

:: the wease 11:57 AM [+] ::

My own list and I can't come up with anything.

1. Missing a spot shaving
2. Zit
3. Getting a toe cramp. Ouch.
4. That indescribable sick feeling that takes over your whole body but has no real symptoms
5. The laughter of children
.....

:: David 12:36 AM [+] ::

This goes back to the last list, but I just listened to it and had to list it...

Song for a Winter's Night by the incomparable Sarah Mac.
.....

:: Heath 8:29 PM [+] ::

K, top five pesky/annoying/worst feeling things, in no particular order...

1.) Those who you talk to and can't come up with anything to talk about...i hate hanging out with people who don't have enough of a mind to carry a conversation.
2.) A zit...but not the ones u can see. The type that you know is coming in but you can't do anything to stop it, you can feel it, and it can only get worse. Bad feeling.
3.) Waking up in the morning, knowing you have alot of stuff to do, and also knowing you should have gotten to bed earlier than you did.
4.) When people refer to something vaguely, and then say, "Oh i can't tell you." Don't bring it up if you can't tell me what the heck you're talking about.
5.) This is along the same lines of number three but not really....Knowing you have something big to do or work on but instead of getting started you do stupid stuff like watching tv or goin to the gym. And if you had started working on it, it wouldn't have been so bad. But since you've put it off for so long, it ends up being more stressful and time consuming than it should have been.

And yes Chewy, you do have a big head. Also, what kind of people is it again that breathe heavy?
.....

:: David 5:31 PM [+] ::

Pesky things, top 5. No order. Here we go:

1) If you say, like, like to me like 20 million times in like one sentence, then like my face like might like explode...like. (After reading that sentence, the word "like" has lost all meaning to me now. Whooooaaaaaa...)

2) 10 year old skater kids. Come to think of it, skater kids in general, especially if they can't even skate. What's the deal there?

3) Likewise, 10 year old pop music look-alike hoes. My daughter better not think she'll be wearing that stuff. When and if I have one, anyway.

4) When I can hear people breathing. And I don't mean when someone is asleep, so the only thing you can hear with all the quiet is their breathing. That's actually good. The breathing I mean is if you're talking to someone who's just standing around, and for some reason you can hear them breathing...flagrantly. WHY ARE YOU BREATHING SO HARD?!?! YOU'RE JUST STANDING THERE, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!?!

5) Headaches. Do I ever hate headaches. And I've got a pretty big head, too, so you can imagine how much I hate headaches. I wish I had a normal sized noggin.
.....

:: the wease 11:43 PM [+] ::

Ok, new topic. For the love of God let's get a new topic. This one is your top 5 worst feelings, or sounds, or annoying things. I know this is vague, so here are some examples - fingernails on a chalkboard, Fran Drescher's voice, Fran Drescher, feeling that first bead of sweat run down your back into your ass crack. This isn't really pet peeves, more like uncomfortable feelings or noises or sights.
.....

:: David 10:41 PM [+] ::

Man, this latest blog has gotten way out of hand. It's like it's got a mind of its own.
.....

:: the wease 8:02 PM [+] ::

i dont do that
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:: Heath 11:50 AM [+] ::

So Weas....

This kid that read our blog was probly thinking, "So this is the Weas i read about that takes peters up the pipers from mustangs?" If that's what you call making a difference then i'm sure chewy's made many a difference.
.....

:: the wease 11:20 AM [+] ::

I judged the speech tournament at Klein this weekend, as you all know. And I met all sorts of weird young klein kids with random connections to me. First, I met Olivia, a friend of my sister's. Then I met some girl who went to Tim's church and randomly asked me if I knew him. I told her Tim was my room mate, and she totally freaked out. Totally. Some people are so high strung, such as every person running the tournament. And then I met some senior kid, whose name I can't remember, that got all excited when he heard Daniel Smith call me Weasel. Why? Because he reads the blog. And there I was in person, not 3 feet away from him. It made his day. It's nice to meet the little people, to give back to the community. In that way I feel I make a difference.
.....

:: the wease 11:38 PM [+] ::

i deny these allegations
.....

:: Ryan 11:34 PM [+] ::

via AIM -

AWChewy: weasel likes the beastiality
pablosuki: lol
pablosuki: by a mustang
pablosuki: which supposedly have 2 feet long peters
AWChewy: that's nothing to scof at
pablosuki: by no means
AWChewy: makes me think of poor poor lil bow wow
pablosuki: HA!
AWChewy: you can bet he was barking...barking and sobbing
AWChewy: bow wow boo hoo
pablosuki: lol
pablosuki: braids used as handlebars
.....

:: the wease 11:20 PM [+] ::

What are you talking about? Get your mind out of the gutter.
.....

:: Ryan 11:17 PM [+] ::

dang wease, sounds like you are the one getting bent over....and by a mustang at that.....dirty.
.....

:: the wease 6:12 PM [+] ::

Don't worry, you aren't. But I'm [saying things that have been said by many people before] with all this talk about your back door lovin'.

I can't download anything anymore. SMU has blocked almost all of the file sharing programs, and they track any use of them. If you download any copyrighted material they deactivate your internet connection. So....I can't expand my music horizons until I move off campus. They are stifling me!
.....

:: David 6:00 PM [+] ::

We needn't hear about your fantasies, Weas.
.....

:: the wease 5:59 PM [+] ::

You are homosexual. And that's by Bruno's choice, bitch
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:: David 5:34 PM [+] ::

Weasel - you are asexual. And that's not by your own choice.
.....

:: Ryan 5:14 PM [+] ::

good list wease, reminded me of a few favs, such as seven mary three and the rock crown album, tracks 1, then 6 thru 10, some jams fer shure, look em up, and DL em. i heart u2 as well, the live versions of one and with or without you are amazing, as well as the accapella version of WOWY done by stanford mixed choir. ColdPlay is amazing. Yellow, trouble, in my place, great stuff. more more more.
.....

:: the wease 1:08 AM [+] ::

Heath - you are a 12 year old girl. So watch out, Chewy might try to date you. As for some music...

-Led Zepplin: Black Dog, Dazed and Confused, Fool in the Rain, Going to Calif., and stairway if you must. ("No stairway? Denied!")
-U2: 80's rock. It happens. My favorite is bloody sunday. Others are One Love, Where the Streets have no name, with or w/o you, All I want is you. IM me if you really want more.
-Velvet Underground: Heroin
-Seven Mary Three: Lucky, Cumbersome
-Candlebox: Cover Me, featherweight, far behind
-STYX: Mr. Roboto, Come Sail Away as sung by Eric Cartman
-Coldplay: parachutes
-The Nixons: Sister, Sad sad me

Ok, that's all for now. I've got some other obscure stuff I remember from about 8th grade and some songs Tim has given me, if you really care. This list was by no means comprehensive. I just went off the top of my head, and put 80's rock in there so chewy would get off my back.
.....

:: Heath 12:07 AM [+] ::

This is gonna be a sad post for most of you who admire my opinions....

I am a child of pop culture. Thus the only real music i ever "get jiggy with" are those songs that are normally widely known. So whatever society says is good, that's what i'm going with.

Also, i am a fan of songs from musicals...sadly, partial to Joseph.

K go ahead and make fun of me now.
.....

:: Ryan 11:46 AM [+] ::

i really didnt research like david did, but off of the top of my head.

songs you should download

• Let it fall - glen phillips (from toad the wet sprocket) and sean watkins (from nickel creek) - two outstanding musicians on a really amazing song. One of my new slow jams


• Forever - ben harper - THE slow jam, this is the song i played for kevin dailey a few weeks before his wedding, and he immediatly inserted it into his wedding, as well as some of his playlists for concerts.


• Anything from the band 238 (two thirty eight) they both get responses on kazaa, songs such as let go, just dropping a line, this town will eat you, the songs will write the words, chase what makes your heart flutter, moving too far, the spoiled one, stripped of all, there is no dana. i know i listed a CD's worth of songs, but download a few, and you will then download the rest. they are even better in concert.


• Alison Krauss - I know she is widely known, but DL stuff other than "when you say nothing at all", such as The Lucky One, Let me touch you for a while, maybe, everytime you say goodbye, stay, forget about it, faraway land (sung by a band member). If you have the cash, go pick up her double live album, its off the hook fo sho.


• Ginny Owens - Own me - life


• Hainging by a thread - jann arden - officially the saddest song ever


• this womans work (from MTV unplugged) - maxwell - officially the second saddest song ever.

I think Ill stop there, cause thats alot. most say that i have a good taste when it comes to music. if you agree, feel free to holla at me, and we can discuss and trade some more music ideas, and steal more music from artists off of kazaa, one song at a time.
.....

:: David 6:44 PM [+] ::

I was looking over my winamp for a good hour on this blog before I went out looking for a place to live next year. After such an ugly day and getting back from not really finding anything good, I'm tired of looking at things and I just want to post. I don't think many would enjoy this list as much as I do, but I still say it's a good one. If you get the chance, listen to as many of these as you can.

Bob Schneider - The World Exploded Into Love
Comments: also see Metal and Steel and Big Blue Sea

John Rutter (arr. Holst) - I Love My Love
Comments: This is a choral piece. We sang it my senior year and for the entire Spring semester that year, I walked around school singing my part, especially when I had some alone time in the auditorium. The sound was incredible.

Philadelphia Orchestra - Clair de Lune
Comments: Obviously, an instumental. Excellent.

Alan Silvestri - Fast Forward
Comments: This is another instrumental. Piano. Another great sound.

Jason Wade - You Belong to Me
Comments: This is the guy from Lifehouse. The song was on Shrek, but chances are you didn't notice it. I definately suggest listening to this one.

The Brown Derbies - Romeo and Juliet, and Anna Begins
Comments: These guys are an acapella men's choir from Brown University. Some of you out there know who they are. These are two of the best songs I've heard them do, especially Romeo and Juliet. Listen to it and just let your mind wander.

Stephen Speaks - Out of My League, and All These Things
Comments: Wow. Just wow.

Harry Connick, Jr. - A Wink and a Smile, It's Alright with Me, and Promise Me You'll Remember
Comments: Three very good songs. Makes you want to sing along with all of them.

Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
Comments: One of those songs that you have to listen to. Nothing really spectacular in any regular sense, but for some reason it gets stuck in my head all the time.

Nat King Cole - Sweet Lorraine
Comments: Smooth, smart Nat doing what he does best. This is an original jam.

My Friend Steve - Victoria
Comments: Acoustic. Totally excellent. There's a John Mayer song by the same name that's really good, too.

Randall Thompson - Choose Something Like a Star
Comments: Another choral piece. This one is from sophomore year. The only people that would like this one are those who like choral music, so I'll admit it isn't for everyone.

The Lion King - Can You Feel the Love Tonight
Comments: NOT the Elton John version. I mean the original version from the animated cartoon. When I hear that version, something about it just always does it for me. Towards the end, there's a crecendo and a key change and...wow...goosebumps. It's just so uplifting.

That's all of them. Seriously, if you get the chance to listen to any of these, you should. They're all excellent songs and (hopefully) will not disappoint.
.....

:: Ryan 2:27 PM [+] ::

ok fella, list a few songs that arent widely known that you would request others to download to expand their musical collection. you can do as many or as few as you like. go.
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:: the wease 8:53 PM [+] ::

oh....that's why you don't have one.
.....

:: David 7:02 PM [+] ::

That's exactly why I don't keep a personal blog or diary. I know I'd never update it.
.....

:: the wease 11:51 AM [+] ::

Hey Heath and Ryan - your personal blogs have been in disarray for months. What gives?
.....

:: Ryan 10:22 PM [+] ::

top five games...

1. Tecom super bowl
2. no other game matters, so just imagine this list full of tecmo.

Can i just say how much i enjoy the smell of certain females.
.....

:: the wease 10:19 PM [+] ::

Oh lord....don't make me choose. Only 5 video games....gosh. This is like picking 5 friends to take into a bomb shelter while you watch the rest die. Here we go. I love you all...I'm sorry....games....

1. River City Ransom - Think Double Dragon with money. You can buy items to revive your health, increase your strength, and learn new skills. It's not quite as ninja karate bad ass as double dragon was, but the story is exactly the same. A rival gang member stole your woman, and you have to kick everyone's ass to get her back. Plus, there's a character named Logan who always runs away screaming "Mamaaaaa!" when you beat him up. How did they know?

2. Ice Hockey - This is the game where you had the fat, skinny, and medium sized players. It kicks ass and I still love to play it. The one problem is that the computer is way too easy, but when you get to play your friends it's fun stuff.

3. North and South - A civil war strategy video game. That says it right there. A bunch of things I love all thrown together. You could hijack the other side's supply train, lay seige to states, take over forts, and you got to fight on the battlefield with infantry, cavalry, and a cannon. Another game that loses something against the computer, but gets really fun with a friend.

4. Metroid - This game was good. Not as good as I hear Super Metroid is, but it had a lot of cool elements. Different weapons, the screw attack, a free roaming universe, maze-like worlds, bosses, and when you beat it you got to find out Samus was a girl. (and if you beat it fats enough, you got to see her in her underwear)

5. Mario freakin' 3 - I was so excited about this game. I went and saw the movie The Wizard just to see screen shots of the game. My brother got it for his birthday and all we did was play it. You could fly!! Compare the game to Mario 1, and you will quickly see how much more complex and fun it was. Revolutionary. Classic all the way - and who doesn't remember the secret of the white blocks?

One of the hardest lists I've ever had to do. Tecmo Super Bowl isn't on there because I haven't gotten into like you guys have, but it is a good game. Tim thinks Zelda should be on there, but I've actually never played the original Zelda, though I assume it's good. And I had to pull Punch Out off the list because I just don't have the memories like I have with the others. Tetris, Marble Madness, Castlevania, Contra, Baseball Stars, Baseball Simulator 1.000, Kirby's Adventure, Double Dragon, The Rocketeer, Dick Tracy, Rescue: the Embassy Mission, Dr. Mario, Duck Hunt, Marios 1 and 2, are all pretty good, too. I'm sure some classics have been left off, but I've already spent way too much time on this list and proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am the biggest dork here. Time to play Dungeons and Dragons. Later.
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:: David 8:11 PM [+] ::

There's no way in the world I can possibly rank these things, so consider the numbering completely arbitrary. Welcome...to the list.

1. Tecmo Bowl

No no, not Tecmo Superbowl. Tecmo Bowl. Tecmo Superbowl is a fine game, but Tecmo Bowl opened the door for it. Anyone who's ever played the game knows it's incredible in its simplicity. 4 offensive plays (2 passing, 2 rushing), 4 defensive plays. Now that's what I call a playbook. I can still remember how the teams aren't even named after the NFL teams, but they have the NFL players. I always played with the faux-Raiders. Bo Jackson was unstoppable. No one could touch him. As soon as he got open in the flat, it was over. Over! I must've gone undefeted in that game.

2. Tecmo NBA

Two tecmo games in a row? Well, I just remembered this one out of the blue. As we all know, in early video games there were always certain things you could do and always get the same outcome from it. This was no different for Tecmo NBA. On the game, if you defended the players a certain way, you could always force them into the corner and block their shot like clockwork. I'd blow teams out. Why I really liked it so much is because I could play with Charlotte and be Muggsy Bouges. He is my favorite player of all-time because he was just 5'3" and he was still a baller. Mad skills. I liked him because I was so short for a long time. Anyway, I'd run around and score 100 points with Muggsy. What a game.

3. Keystone Cops

This...is an old school atari game. You were a cop chasing a burgaler through a mall. The point was to catch him before he got to the edge of the roof (apparently, he could jump off a 3 story building to safety...go figure). The catch was that he started on the second floor, and you started on the first! Man, was it ever a lame game, but I had a lot of fun playing it. You had to dodge raido-controlled airplanes and shopping carts and stuff, too. Fun.

4. Punchout

I agree with Heath, except I never used the code. I never even knew the code. Then again, I also never got to fight Mike Tyson. The furtherst I got was Mr. Sandman. He was tough, there was no beating him. The best was fighting King Hippo. He was just so fat. And what was the deal with the bandage over his belly button? Did he have a bleeding problem? Or what about Piston Honda? He was so crappy when you fought him the first time, and so good when you fought him not more than one circuit later. I don't buy it. Still, I think this is probably my favorite Nintendo game of all-time.

5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade

I was always Michaelangelo. Nunchucks rule.

There are several other games that I wish could be on this list. Chip 'n' Dale, Dick Tracy, Roger Rabbit, and Pitfall (once again, that's old school Atari). The Mario games are also classics, but not worthy to be on the list.
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:: Heath 4:42 PM [+] ::

Yeah i looked over old posts and realized we had done this one before. So good thing we're scrapping it. K for top five video games...old school style.

1. Contra- just don't get any better.
2. Marble Madness-some didn't like this game that involved full hand-eye cordination. I was addicted.
3. Castlevania-I loved this game so much that my parents bought me the Tiger handheld version. The week after i got it, i took it to school for one of our game days. Yeah...fat kid and bully Eric Jones stole it....i hated that kid.
4. Mike Tyson's Punchout- Yes i admit it...i would always use the code to get to Mike Tyson. I was too young and inexperienced to go through each fighter before him one by one.
5. Tecmo Superbowl- Ryan i hoped i gave some suspense here for ya. Although this is listed as number 5, it really is number one. I just like keeping people anticipating (if they care enough to read this list.) What's not to love about this game? And the replay value is the highest on any game i've ever played....with the one exception of course being Super Smash Brothers (hence our blog name).

There u guys have it...my top five old school video games
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:: David 4:30 PM [+] ::

We have done this list before. It was pretty early on in our blogging experience. So, rather than list everything all over again, I'm just going to say that the good things = Connie. Connie = girlfriend. You can do the rest of the math. (And Weasel, if Connie was a whore, then I wouldn't be with her. So there.)

Instead of doing this list (because it's been done), let's do a different one. Weasel's mention of video games made me start thinking. Top 5 old school video games. Old school is anything that pre-dates super nintendo, so basically either nintendo or atari.

And for the last time, I'm not gay.
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:: Heath 11:47 AM [+] ::

Weas...

The "attracted to someone" part was left openended just in case any of you three are closet homosexuals. This way you can list what attracts you while not being persecuted for your flamingness.

Actually, i just made a mistake but i like this explanation better.
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:: the wease 11:41 AM [+] ::

I swear we've done the "what attracts you" list before. Since I'm in an angry, bitter, I hate everyone mood right now I will go with the "run for the hills" list.

1. Bad teeth
2. Can't take a joke
3. Stupidity
4. Says bad things about video games, especially SSB
5. Makes fun of this crappy list because I can't think of anything right now. I feel like we've done both of these before. Hopefully I'll come back and edit this later.

Wow, that list was hard, and here's why. I tried to sit here and think of girls I know that I wouldn't date, but none came to mind. Either I know a really great group of people, or my standards have gotten so low every girl meets them. Most likely it's the latter.

Heath, please explain this - "Top five things that attract u to someone..." Hmmm. Someone. Someone?? Don't you mean girls? Why are you leaving it so ambiguous...Freudian slip, perhaps? (And please, come up with something more original than chewy is gay. At least some of us have the manners not to bring it up.)

Connie is a whore.
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:: Heath 11:09 AM [+] ::

Hey guys...

It's been a few days for me. Classes are tough but hopefully i'll make it out of this semester alive.

K Top five places i'd wanna live (this being difficult because i really haven't gone to many places)....

1. Houston (Spring)- It's just so comfortable and familiar. After being raised there myself, i could picture me raising a family there or working there or both.
2. Definitely anywhere BUT oklahoma- This has to be the ugliest state there is. And the weather sucks. I actually think my car was about to tip on its side the other day from the wind. Who wants to deal with that? And everyone here is unattractive...i mean everyone born here. There are a few exceptions for those that go to school here from out of state but all the ones that were born and raised here are just disgustingly ugly. Bad weather, ugly scenery, grotesque people....that's oklahoma for you.
3. North Carolina- I have family out there and i've visited there twice. It's just awesome out there...weather's really nice. And it's laid back. That's the only place i've liked being in a small town.
4. Big city- I like the idea of having like a downtown loft or something. Very sleek.
5. Somewhere exotic- I could do work from a laptop on the beach while sippin down virgin pina coladas. Ain't that the life.

K those are my places.

Now for the next lists....

Top five things that attract u to someone and top five things that make u wanna run screaming for the hills just to get away from them. (in other words...what doesn't attract u)
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:: Ryan 2:00 AM [+] ::

good ol H town
lil country town in LA, like ruston or haughton
cancun
florida
somewhere hot, cause i just cant deal with weather that is too cold
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:: the wease 12:08 AM [+] ::

As much fun as it is to insinuate (true) things about Connie and Chewy, I will change subjects back to my list from a week or so ago. It was "top 5 places you want to live". Chewy answered, but no one else did. Here are mine, in no order.

- A cabin in the mountains. Yeah, I know it's a little Unabomber-ish, but I like the forest and I like the feel of a homey log cabin with a fireplace and a bearskin rug.
- San Diego area. I hear great things about the weather, and I've never been out there. Cost of living will be a bitch, though. I think an earthquake would be fun, too.
- New York. Gotta try it. Big city, happening place, one of the major centers of the world.
- Europe. After watching all these spy movies on TV Europe looks really cool. A bunch of inept police officers, sexy French women, and cobblestone streets. Too bad I only speak English, and not even the King's English at that.
- Not sure about the last one. Maybe DC, maybe some small southern town where everybody knows your name. I have a lot of cities on here, so maybe somewhere more natural. Oh, I'll say Hawaii or the Caribbean.
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:: the wease 3:22 PM [+] ::

In response to the post on Connie's blog:

If all you two are doing is talking, then why does it matter if your family is around? Poor Connie, can't stand a little ridicule from your parents. I still don't buy it. The obvious truth is that you two want to get freaky deaky but don't want momma to hear. Or maybe Connie lives in a trailer...excuse me, mobile home, and doesn't want us to hear about it.

"Hey ma, look at dem crazy critters!"
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:: the wease 11:24 AM [+] ::

Chewy - "there's really nowhere for us to go except hang out and talk in my car"

You're not fooling anyone. Hang out and talk....that'll be the day. By the way, doesn't she have a house?
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:: David 11:57 PM [+] ::

Ah, a relationship update. I figure this question was asked more so we could know about Heath than any of us, but I have an actual update nonetheless.

It turns out that my girlfriend is totally amazing. Take this weekend, for instance. As we all know, I've got no house or anything, so most of the time when I'm in town and it gets late, there's really nowhere for us to go except hang out and talk in my car. I felt really bad about this because a car isn't the best place to spend quality time. I actually apologized for it not once, but twice, even though there really isn't much I can do about it (note: I realize we could sit outside somewhere, but it's the winter. Cold). And do you know what she said to this? SHE DOESN'T CARE AS LONG AS SHE GETS TO BE WITH ME! Excuse me?!? That has to be too good to be true, right? But it IS true! I just can't say enough about her. A couple of weekends ago I was actually up talking with her until 4 something in the morning because her shoulder hurt and she couldn't get to sleep. For some reason, she thinks this was some amazing gesture by me, like I wouldn't have talked to her if her shoulder wasn't hurting. The truth is that if she just would've called for fun, I STILL would've sat up until 4 in the morning talking to her if she wanted. Her family apparently likes me, too. I've got to say, I haven't been this happy in a long time. She doesn't even care when I say stupid things, which is good because I say them alot. She doesn't get upset over stupid little things and she doesn't try to boss me around like I'm some kind of slave. AND she appreciates me. That's very important. You guys probably aren't really interested in hearing all of this. Tough break, you asked the question. She called not too long ago and really put me in a good mood. Connie really is special to me. Although I know I don't have vast experience with it, she is the best girlfriend I've ever had. For those of you who have known me for awhile, you know that when I say that, it has to mean something. Did I mention how beautiful she is? I didn't, did I? She's absolutely gorgeous. Even when she says she looks bad, I just don't see it. Beautiful, just beautiful in every way. When I hold her, she's just so warm and soft and comfortable. She fits so well, it's amazing. I love Connie. She makes me happy.

Smiling. (Did you see that? I love you, Connie. Smile!)
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:: the wease 10:10 PM [+] ::

I'm tied with ryan
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:: Ryan 9:41 PM [+] ::

lets have a relationship update. ill start with where i am, and that is no where. next?
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:: Heath 6:59 PM [+] ::

K i made a post that was harsh...

To recap i said something about "taking the bait" and then i defended Jenny B....bout it.
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:: the wease 4:09 PM [+] ::

Ladies, ladies. Let's not fight. Heath, we all make fun of you behind your back. Chewy should be the least of your worries. And Chewy, you're dating a girl in high school?! God, didn't your parents teach you any manners? That would be like someone our age having a crush on Jenny Bowden. Sick, just sick.
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:: David 2:43 PM [+] ::

That was a relatively good burn, Heath, but let me give you a little clinic on forming a correct phrase with pronouns:

If Connie were two years my senior, she would be 21. What you meant to say is that I'm two years her senior. You get brownie points for trying, though. I'll give you an 'B' for effort...and butthead.

Besides, there's no Sadie that weekend anymore. Chances are you're just jealous and heart-broken, anyway. Go cry yourself to sleep.
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:: Heath 2:16 PM [+] ::

I was distressed to see that Chewy makes fun of me to Connie behind my back...no less he was talking about me flirting with 8 year old girls.

Well, let us all for the record remember who of us still looks like an 8 year old, is dating a high schooler two years younger which isn't lawbreakingly bad, but is also going to Sadie Hawkins where he will undoubtedly run into Paul Reubens and the principal from Ferris Beuller...all three of course hunting for the same thing.

And Chewy, i didn't even mention those pics you have of Ryan's brother.

Shame on you.
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:: Heath 9:34 PM [+] ::

I've fallen in love.

If only she'd divorce and have me.

Jennifer Garner, if you're reading this, at least consider it.
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:: David 1:46 PM [+] ::

Three days later, the first list of where to live is being posted. Not a lot of blog activity going down. Needless to say, this list isn't going to be that funny, but it is a tough one. I don't think that I can actually come up with 5 places to live. We'll just have to see what I can come up with. No order.

1) Colorado - A little cold, but other than that I could deal quite nicely with it. Dry climate, breath-taking scenery, lots of rich people whose money I can take. All in all, I think it's a pretty solid pick.

2) Virginia - I'll always remember spring break my freshman year in high school. My mom, my brother, and I went to D.C. and Virginia for the week. D.C. was nice, but what I really enjoyed was driving from Washington down to Williamsburg. We took this country backroad and I swear to you it was one of the most amazing natural settings I've personally seen. Tall, sloping hills with yellow, red, and green leaves on the trees. The hillsides were covered with forests. I think I'd be able to get lost in there for days and not even care. Spectacular. You've just got to see it.

3) Bora Bora - Tropical. Secluded. Gorgeous. Need I say more? I think not.

4) Italy - I had to say it because I've spent so much time studying "the classics," so I guess I'm just naturally drawn to a place as stuck in the classics as Italy. I think I'd want to keep close to the Mediterranean, though. I don't know, something about the shore or a lake is nice. Maybe staying on one of the islands would be nice, Sicily or Capri. The entire place is so romanticized, I guess there's just a mystique about it.

5) I can't come up with a fifth, so I'll just say not a big city. Living in outlying areas is fine, suburbs or rural, but when it comes to living in the city, I just don't care for it. Cramped, crowded, cement everywhere. Just not for me.
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:: the wease 7:44 PM [+] ::

What is the rule on attending funerals? How do you know if you're expected to go to someone's? How long do you have to know someone before youre allowed to go? Expected to go? How close do you have to be? I know there are a lot of variables, so what's a rule of thumb? For simplicity we will say it is a funeral in the same city where you are and its on a saturday morning of a non-holiday weekend. <--- It sounds like I'm going to a funeral on saturday. I'm not....I hope.
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:: the wease 7:07 PM [+] ::

The weather sucks. It's too cold. Maybe if I had heat it wouldn't be so bad. The warmest place in my room is the shower. I spent like half an hour under scalding hot water trying to warm up. It was nice, until I had to get out. Brrrrr. But enough about me. Let me ask you people your top 5 places you'd want to live.
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:: the wease 12:40 PM [+] ::

OK, top 3 romantic places:

1.) An airplane bathroom
2.) The alley behind a porno theatre
3.) Your best friend's wedding

That list is just a simpsons reference, for those of you who don't know. It's not real. I've never even been to the wedding of a close friend.
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:: David 12:27 AM [+] ::

Consider this a self edit. So...how 'bout this weather we're having?
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:: David 12:27 AM [+] ::

By the way, I think I come up with the stupidest lists. Maybe I should just stick to answering them.
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:: the wease 8:52 PM [+] ::

Man, everyone's list is at least 4 times as long as mine. I'm surprised I wasn't one of those guys that ended up taking his mother to the prom.
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:: Ryan 6:30 PM [+] ::

ok, im sure my list wont be as long as the previous ones, nor will they be as funny.

1 - katie cornett, i loved goin over to her house late at nite and throwin rocks at her window, and talkin til too early in the morn, but i think friendship is all i wanted from that relationship.

2 - sandy - there were a couple of reasons why not, and i really dont feel comfortable listing them here.

3 - maryanna - i never knew for sure, but my junior year, david and maryanna's soph year, i was involved in that little situaiton too (ahhh sadie). shes a sweetheart, but i obviously wasnt the one for her, as she has found that here recently.

4 - i dont feel comfortable putting anymore, cause that might make things dirty in certain places, so...thats it.


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:: David 5:10 PM [+] ::

I really don't know what to say to this list. I'm hard-pressed to come up with the names of people who I actually remember having crushes on me because I don't really think I know anyone who did other than the few obvious ones. Let's see who I can come up with. No order.

1) Yes, Heath. I remember that girl, the first on your list. And yes, yes she is definately on my list as someone I didn't want having a crush on me. No me gusta.

2) Connie brought this one to my attention earlier. There were about 80 little girls in the Joseph children's choir that I certainly wasn't going to have anything to do with. Especially the little girl and her cronie that kept calling me gay. Where do they come up with this stuff? I'm sure Heath had something to do with that one...

3) Maryanna. You know the one I'm talking about, Maryanna, and I can hear you laughing as we speak. To those of you who were unaware, Maryanna had a...slight...crush on me during sophomore year. We joke about it now, it's a lot of fun, but I certainly didn't want anything to do with Maryanna other than friendship. I know she now agrees.

4) This one just came to me. Lindsay Miller. That was freshman year. Freshman year was not the best of my years, I'll say that much. More on this to come. Anyway, Lindsay "liked" me around the time of choir trip that year. I, as was usual with most every girl that has ever liked me except for a select few, was not interested. As it turned out, at the end of the year some things went not-so-well and let's just say I got a note from her to hear about it...complete with a few four-letter words. Ah, memories...

5) Bethany Wicker. I know she doesn't take it personally...anymore. Once again, this was during freshman year. Now, for the real hilarious story from freshman year (I had to save it until I talked about Bethany because she's in it). Freshman year, Bethany asked me to Sadie. When she asked me, I said yes. I think it must've been just before MLK Day because she asked me on the last day of a week and the weekend was a long weekend. Anyway, I got to thinking about it over the weekend and, in my 14 year-old mind, decided that I did not want to go with Bethany. So I came back from the long weekend, and after 3rd period history with Mr. Bennett, I broke the bad news to her. Needless to say, she was not thrilled with me. Nor was her older brother. Ah, memories...we all laugh about this story now. We really do. (Interesting side note: Freshman year, I didn't go to any dances. Not a one. I'm what one might call "socially anxious." I had not the guts or even the desire to ask anyone to homecoming, and I really wasn't all too interested in Sadie, either. As it turns out, I'm still a spaz, I just hide it better nowadays.)

6) There was this girl in elementary/intermediate school. Katrina was her first name (I think her last name was...Timmons?). If I remember right, she liked me in the 4th grade or so. During recess, she'd get about 10 or 15 of her minions to chase me around the playground. No lie. One time, they got a hold of my jacket and I had to take it off to get away from them, and they started pulling at it and it got torn. The only time they caught me, they took me over to Katrina and she grabbed my wrist. I pulled away and ran. To this day, I still have two scars on my left wrist from where her nails dug into my arm from that. Good times. Of course, I moved to Spring after 6th grade, so I don't really know what happened to her. I know she was a cheerleader in jr. high and I'd swear the last thing I heard about her was the she was pregnant, but I could be wrong. Desoto was a very interesting place, but I liked it well enough. I don't think you Spring kids can really appreciate what kind of really nice community you live in. Seriously, nice.

7) There is no number seven.

8) Britney Spears. She just kept calling and calling and finally I had to say "Listen, I'm sorry, but you cheated on Justin. Homie don't play that." She was understandably upset, but I think she's picked up the pieces and moved on. She's a trooper.

9) I'm saving this space for someone who I met in college who has a crush on me that I don't want anything to do with. As far as I know, there isn't actually anyone that falls under this catagory here at school seeing as how I really don't know many girls, but out of the ones I do know, I know I wouldn't be interested in any of them. Hypothetical ladies, eat your heart out, I've already got a girlfriend. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

A special thanks goes out to all those little girls from the children's choir. With help from your humongous size, I officially became the most sought-after guy in the world for 10 or 15 minutes. I'm sure the Guiness World Record folks will be happy to hear that. I'd also like to thank all the other afore mentioned ladies for not kneeing me in the groin when you had the chance. I appreciate it.
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:: Heath 12:41 AM [+] ::

Mkay...well it's apparent to Ryan that my list of the four should provide the most entertainment so here goes...hope u enjoy.

In no particular order of course...

1. We'll call her Sarah- That's because i can't remember her name. She was in the drama dept. but i'm not sure if she is anymore. She's short with brown hair. But the thing that sticks out the most was how at the Ag show one year she had a pet rabbit and kept asking me to pet it. I kid u not. And she said it with this glazed over look in her eyes. I just acted as if she hadn't asked anything and said see ya later. That's enough of that. It gives me shivers just bringin that stuff back into my head.

2. Whitney Burgess- Man if she sees this blog and sees that i've written about her in my last two entries she's gonna get the wrong idea. Damn ho. During theater 3/4 i'd catch her staring at me from across the room, tapping her nails slowly one by one trying to entice me. She'll never be touched by me. No man should ever do that to his body...ever.

3. Erin Macanulty- True story. I was doing something behind the house right balcony one day, my back facing the stage. I turn around and i catch half a face of Erin as she ducks behind the side of the balcony. She didn't think i saw her but i did. Anyway, i had turned around because i was carrying something back to the drama room so i walk in the direction that i saw Erin. As i round the corner i see her sprint...YES SPRINT...behind the middle balcony. That's the first time my life ever felt threatened from a stalker. Oh and let's not forget about her staring at me as i undress for Joseph. Yes Erin...if you can see me through a mirror, i can see you.

4. Lisa something- She sat behind me and to the left of me in my concepts of fitness class. I come in there one day early and it's like just me, Chase, and a few others. He ushers me over to tell me that during the last class that i had missed, Lisa told him that she had a major crush on me. She had had this crush since the beginning of the semester and that God had told her i was "the one". God told me then right there that i should be "the one" to ignore her for the rest of the semester. Psycho.

5. Maryanna Cannon- kidding...i've never been more serious.

6. Katie Cornett- I'm sorry to say but i would never have done it. Loved her as my friend but never would have hooked up with her. I lived vicariously through Chewy i guess on that one (hahaha). Me and her just wouldn't mix. Two strong personalities...oil and water, man...oil and water.

7. Monica Rios- see #5. ALTHOUGH ....
heathbar433: hey...can you think of people that have had a crush on me that i would never have gone out with no matter what
Cowgirl62902: I'm sure although she would never admit to it...Monica

8. Cara- She's my cousin dangit...and it's just disgusting. I see her once every two years but each time it's the same. She stares at me or my brother, touches or gropes my shoulder every time she walks by, and makes comments like, "heath your family is just so good looking." She's currently blocked on my buddy list. And i hate to do it that to family but sometimes u gotta do what u gotta do. Isn't it ironic she's from Arkansas?

9. Marissa- This was one of those obvious ones that has kinda slipped my mind. But dang...i need a girl with rhythm. And let's be honest...i had more rhythm in Joseph than she did. That's not a good thing.

10. David Brown's Mom- It's like i enter a room and she has this magnetic pulse toward me. You know what i'm talking about DT. But i just can't get involved with her...you've told me about your step dad and he would break me in half. (Side not: If a girl ever says she'd break you in half if you guys were to get it on...you respond, "well that would be some loooooooong division"...HAHA i thought it was funny). No but seriously, DT your mom is hot and everything but i couldn't do that to you or your stepdad. I refuse to be a home wrecker...even if it would mean me getting it on with an older version of Britney Spears. What i wouldn't do....okay i'm gonna stop.


Well kids i hope you've enjoyed it...i'm sure there's one or two in there i missed. But for the most part, i guess if you've had a crush on me which i doubt u have, i've probly considered it at one time or another.

Goodnight and Godspeed



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:: the wease 8:56 PM [+] ::

There was only one, that I know of. Some other girls had crushes on me for about 10 minutes (I DID have a scene with Kristen, after all), but there was only one girl I know of that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with. Her name was Jennifer, and I met her at a church dance. That night she told me I was "cute" and was all hoeing up on me. The worst part is that once she became a freshman, (i think she was a year younger) I saw her around Klein all the time. Talk about awkward. I think we talked maybe 3 times in our lives. Once at the dance and twice on the phone. But after I broke her heart, she was EVERYWHERE. I guess I can't blame her. Being denied a piece of the wease is like being denied water. Too bad some people drink coffee, and too bad she wasn't one of them.
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:: Ryan 6:19 PM [+] ::

taking on the role of creative one of the group, i guess ill spark up another one.

list all, if any, of the girls who you think had a crush on you in high school that you wanted nothing to do with. the main reason i do this is to read heaths list. it should be quite funny.
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:: David 10:27 PM [+] ::

1) Connie - I'd totally hit that. Wait...you guys actually meant really hitting. See, that's what I thought at first, then I read that Heath listed Whitney Burgess and remember the huge crush he had on her, so I just figured you guys meant play...

Alright, joke's over. In an effort to put off doing my organic chemistry, I'm here trying to come up three girls I would want to hit. Now, before I begin, I'd like to point out that I'm not sexist, in fact I'm equal opportunity pugalist. Actually, I don't even hit girls at all because it's just wrong unless there's some sort of extenuating circumstance (i.e. she goin' kill you). But here's my answer to the list, anyway (no order):

Sarah from Middlestaedt's DI team - I kid you not, this 10 year old terror was a complete bother to me for multiple weeks. Day in and day out, that little girl made my weekday afternoons a high-pitched squeal of snobbery. Weasel and Heath should know who I'm talking about. A constant, unrelenting pest. Not only that, but she abused the kids her own age, too. I don't think anyone liked her. My kingdom for a pair of ear plugs...

Molly Shannon - I know that I don't actually know her personally, but I can't stand her. Ever. Ever. For the love of all things holy, bring it down a notch. If the only comedic skill you have is acting like a retard on heroine or a paranoid war veteran who is on hallucinogens, then you've got no business trying to pass yourself off as "funny". She epitomizes everything that is/was/will be wrong with Saturday Night Live.

Ashley Anderson - Man, was that ever a no-brainer. After hearing her name brought up this weekend, how could I not include her in this list? Stuck up, cocky, and no talent whatsoever. It's dangerous when you're good and you know it, but it's even more dangerous when you aren't good but you think you are. If there is such a thing as justice, then someday soon she will be in for a rude awakening. Hopefully, it'll come in the form of tripping and eating it on the runway at some pagent. I would like to be there for that.

Effort successful: organic chemistry put off for a half hour.


.....

:: Ryan 8:48 PM [+] ::

i had to think about this one. this list will be made up of people that just got on my nerves to no end. i am a pretty easy going person, and didnt lose my cool much, but when i did, it was most likely due to one of these people.

a) david cole - i know i know, how could i put him on here. he's not even a fricken girl. im sorry, but the kid made me lose it, and anyone who had that lunch my senior year saw where i almost snapped and just had to walk off. after that, i just avoided him at all costs, because i was the bigger man and didnt want to crack back at him, or throw rolls at his stinkin head.

b) we are going to make this a group number, and say
girls who are stupid - yes, vague i know, but i do this on purpose, and for my own good. stupid girls who either cant make up their minds, have a sudden change of heart without giving off any signals otherwise, who just want the benifits of a relationship but not the title or commitment (isnt it supposed to be the guy that says that?). i could go on for days, but some stupid girls almost made me flip too.

c) for another collective number, we are going to say...
people who you think you can trust that you say stuff to and they go off and blabber it to errbody and their momma. i dont care what your reason is, i dont care if they are your momma, or if they dont live in this country, or if they cnt even speak to pass it elsewhere, you were told in confidence that it wouldnt go past you, and look what you did, you silly silly girls. this can go for guys too, but ryan has learned his lesson, and he dont tell jack to no one x-cept his boys.

thats it, funny how two of the three contained guys. lata
.....

:: Heath 1:08 AM [+] ::

Well if any list we've posted before has screamed, "HEATH'S LIST", then i haven't been paying close enough attention. I will just say this is my favorite list to date.

So without further ado, the top 3 girls i would have loved "to hit" at one time or another...

3.) Whitney Burgess- You all thought i had forgotten about her though, didn't ya?? But, alas, that big-mouth, long-nail temptress falls in at number three for girls i've wanted to kick upside the head. Now, i'm not gonna comment on her looks because that would be wrong. However, the nails got to me more than anything. Actually, check that...her voice got to me more than anything. To quote Joey from Friends, when she talked "it's like i wanted to rip my arm off just so i'd have something to throw at her."

2.) Maryanna Cannon- Maryanna...i know you're reading this because Chewy just told me you read this. Let's be honest, you and me don't get along. And i'm sure you've wanted to hit me at one time or another, most likely out of jealousy. Well...the feeling is mutual...except not out of jealousy. Suprisingly, i never was annoyed with you in your Cabe-era. It was after that time, probably the summer after graduation, that i stopped liking you. There were other reasons for dislike of course....Chewy, you know. We'll just leave it at that.

1.) Monica Rios- Do we you even have to ask? Honestly, was there doubt in any reader's mind that this would not be my number one choice. IT'S MONICA. For the love of God...senior year was full of moments when i wanted to Bruce Lee her ass. I'm a good friend to my good friends. Chewy is my good friend. And i don't like to see my friends treated that way. I'll leave you with a quote from another good friend Weasel describing such a monster..."A fiery demon with the strength of 10 men, a demon who shoots fire from her eyes and calls down plague after plague upon lowly mortals. She wields untold power, and uses it for evil purposes far beyond what any single woman can accomplish."

Goodnight and Godspeed.

.....

:: the wease 10:15 AM [+] ::

When I first saw the word "hit", I was thinking something completely different. As in "hitting it". Shows you where my mind is. I'm sort of tired, so these are the first 3 girls that come to my head:

1.) Maryanna, when she was dating Cabe.
2.) Monica, but not for what you might think. When she "abstained courteously" in 1776 it really got my goat. The way she said it just annoyed me.
3.) I'm drawing a blank. My tentative answer is Corey, because I can't have her.
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:: Ryan 11:57 PM [+] ::

fine then, we will change it.

top 3 girls that you have wanted to hit at one point in time. and by hit, i do mean beat down ("beat her"....right daivid?).
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:: the wease 4:43 PM [+] ::

I dont know about this topic, Ryan. Talking about sweet sweet Mila is one thing, but this topic is a little too close to people I know. If there's one thing I know about girls, it's that they will all go home crying if they aren't #1 on everyone's list. I'm not sure if my conscience would allow it. Of course, if we made it a list of the 5 worst females, that would be different. If they're bitches then I don't care about their feelings.
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:: Ryan 4:28 PM [+] ::

children

rather than waste time saying how much we suck, why dont you just suck it up and say something like this.

5 best "all around " females that we have all come in contact with. what i am looking for is the "total package" females. attractive, great personality, carries conversation, etc. when i say we have all come in contact with, i mean people we all know about, doesnt have to be people we are friends with, but people we know about, feel me?

go

from now on, when you think its suckin, just post a topic that we can all respond to. that will illicit responses. we can only talk about how much we suck for so long.
.....

:: the wease 12:07 PM [+] ::

What happened to all these crazy promises of the blog regaining its spark and vitality once we got back to school? Now, more than ever, it sucks. One post a day? We might as well pack it in right now and let Kristen, Corey, or whoever else made all these wild claims of starting a blog take it over. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I don't know who we are anymore.
.....

:: the wease 11:17 AM [+] ::

Call me crazy, ill informed, or out of the loop, but I thought Ryan was in school? Please, fill me in. And does this mean you will be off during mine and Chewy's spring break? Because if so, then Heath, you're skipping school.
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:: Heath 5:52 PM [+] ::

So i posted last night and it chose not to show it for some reason so i'll just give the jist of it....

I'm bored here at home and i apologized to certain people because certain situations suck at the moment.

K that was it.

PS-my personal blog will be back once i get to school

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:: Ryan 6:06 PM [+] ::

i hate school

and im not even in school this quarter.
.....

:: David 1:12 PM [+] ::

Astute observation, friend, but that's just not the case. Being a doctor, I would like. School, being a necessary evil, I don't care for. If I were to get a degree in Latin, I wouldn't use it, anyway, because to use it I'd have to teach Latin in high school, and that's just not going to happen. Pre-med stays, psychology stays, Latin goes.
.....

:: the wease 11:31 AM [+] ::

Maybe instead of cutting Latin out of your schedule, the one class you like, you should cut all that pre-med stuff out. You seem to enjoy that a lot less. Besides, you don't want to be a doctor anyway.

In other news, I might get less cynical and jaded again. Just a warning. Maybe one of you can take my place until my life falls apart again. (That will be around march, when they tell me I didn't get the Prez scholarship). Now I'm going to eat my chikfila before it freezes.
.....

:: David 12:14 AM [+] ::

So I'm lying down in bed, thinking to myself about how much work I'm going to have to do this semester. As I'm reflecting on my schedule, I keep focusing on the fact that I don't have to be taking Latin. For those of you who are unaware of my love-affair with Latin, I'll give you a brief rundown: I took it for 3 years in high school and 2 semesters thus far in college. I love it, it's my only TRUE academic enjoyment. I mean, I've always thought education was important, but the only academic subject I was ever really interested in was Latin. Now, I've filled my language requirement because I'm a B.S. and I only needed the two semesters of Latin. But I didn't want to let it go so easily. So I toyed with the idea of double majoring, and I went ahead and registered for Latin again this semester.

Going back to my original problem, I made a startling realization: Latin has no place in my schedule. I'm pre-med, busting my hump in organic chemistry and biology, majoring in something else all together, and I'm going to try and take a pretty work intensive Latin course on top of it? It broke my heart to see it, but I couldn't do Latin this semester and still do the pre-med thing. I love Latin, but it has little more place than a simple hobby. I'll miss it, and maybe I'll be able to take it again one of these semesters, but right now it just doesn't fit. It's too much and it's too superfluous. Sometimes you just have to realize when a sacrifice has to be made, and when I line must be drawn. I just had to realize that I can't do everything, I'm not a superman.

Tonight was the end of an era. Tonight was the opening of a door. Tonight was a revelation. Tonight, I dropped Latin.
.....

:: David 5:03 PM [+] ::

If there was a mirror anywhere in that room, then my name is Colonel Sanders. All that was in the room was a big long table and a bunch of comfy reclinable chairs. I felt like a CEO.

I'm going to see Annie Get Your Gun.
.....

:: the wease 11:41 AM [+] ::

Actually, your psych prof was there. He was observing the class through a one way mirror, and now he knows everything about you. He's like Hannibal.

Who here is going to see Annie Get Your Gun?
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:: David 3:31 PM [+] ::

I don't know about this whole going to school thing. Sometimes you've got to wonder exactly how much you're learning. Great example of this is my organic chemistry class. We arrive today and he starts going through the syllabus, and we reach the part that explains the tests. He breaks to us that he makes his tests so that the class average is around a 50 so that he can more fairly distribute the grades. More fairly distribute the grades?!? What's wrong with these people? I don't see how that works. If a 50 is a C, then what's an A? It's a mystery, my very own Murder She Wrote. I'd also like to ask what the real point is of making impossible tests. From what I can tell, it's to break the students. It reminds me of my calc class my first semester. My test average: 45. My letter grade: B. All I can say is that I don't like where this whole organic chemistry thing is going.

On another more humorous note, my psych prof didn't show up today. What kind of message does that send to an innocent student such as myself? If I were lazy enough, it would tell me that I don't need to show up on Wednesday. What it actually tells me, though, is that this class is should be a little less strenuous than a walk in the park. Hopefully.
.....

:: the wease 11:36 AM [+] ::

Conica knows she's the only girl for me. I was just messing around, and really those statements could be applied to any girl*

*excludes girls that i have a chance of sleeping with
.....

:: David 12:40 AM [+] ::

Indeed wow to Weasel's last response. I was a little worried when I saw it because, hey, that's some pretty harsh stuff. Luckily (for me), Connie took it with a good sense of humor. You're going to get me in trouble one of these days, Weas, and I'll not have even said anything to put myself into the trouble. I guess it's your gift.

Something that I learned over Christmas break is that Heath welches on his deals. Heath, I do believe you owe Connie $1.50 if I remember right.

And as I sit here writing this, the moron next door has decided that now is a good time to listen to some techno...loudly. What's the point? Does the kid have a club in his room? "Live from midnight to 2 in SJH 3120, DJ Retard. Cover charge at the door." I don't want to be the one to break his heart by telling him that most techno isn't real music and certainly isn't fun to just sit and listen to, but when you hear it blaring through a wall for an entire semester like I have, you start to want to make him cry. He should learn to do something constructive with his time, like tie his own wrists and ankles together with duct tape. Everything I just said was completely and utterly stupid.

I have school tomorrow. Welcome back.
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:: Heath 11:06 PM [+] ::

Well it's been quite awhile since i last posted on this thing. All i can say is wow towards Weas's last post. Wow. Anyways, going to see Chicago tomorrow night so i'm gettin pumped about that. Get this...i'm workin from noon to three tomorrow. Three hours. What kind of shift is that? It's gettin kinda boring around here too. I'm lookin forward to goin back to school now. I do enjoy the sleep i'm getting though. Okay there's really nothing to write about that i want the entire blog fan base to know so i'll just leave it at that and wait for one of u to propose a list for us to make. Lata
.....

:: the wease 11:00 AM [+] ::

Fill you in, ok. As you know, Chewy had been dipping his hand into the nookie jar labeled "connie." Now some people, including myself, made the brilliant connection that connie, like chewy's previous woman (excuse me, the girlfriend before last. Let's not forget his misdeeds during Amadeus), well connie also has a little gold sticker on her foot that says, "made in latin america." In my infinite wisdom and compassion, I came up with the idea of merging his old latin girlfriend and his new latin fling into one person. They all look alike anyway. Thus, from the ashes arose Conica. A fiery demon with the strength of 10 men, a demon who shoots fire from her eyes and calls down plague after plague upon lowly mortals. She wields untold power, and uses it for evil purposes far beyond what any single woman can accomplish.

Whew
.....

:: Ryan 2:12 AM [+] ::

hi from ruston, this means i am not in houston, and that you will have to fill a brotha in, so he doesnt read this saying "what???". work sux fer shure. everyday, 8-530. boy how i cant wait until the end of feb. i will respond tomorrow to the list, cause tomorrow is my ONE DAY OFF. work sux fer shure. lata
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:: David 9:04 PM [+] ::

Oh, and as far as those Nobels go, I don't think we really established that you had to honestly win them. I think we used a vague word like "get", "recieve", or "steal." Steal isn't so vague, is it? Well, life goes on.
.....

:: David 9:01 PM [+] ::

Might I say, Weas, that the "nickname" you so graciously bestowed upon her has really stuck. As far as I know, just about everyone has picked it up. I'd say it's stuck as well as my nickname, but for Connie's sake I hope it doesn't have the same staying power as mine. Her's is a little more connotatively...how shall I say...negative. Weasel, anytime you feel like you want to go ahead and un-bestow it from her, feel free. Very free.
.....

:: the wease 1:31 AM [+] ::

Do I actually have to win the Nobel Prizes, or can I just acquire them somehow? That would be less work.

As for a major in college, many people change their major all the time. Or there's me. I took a bunch of crazy non-related classes to see what I like. So now I'm 19 and I'm picking a career forever, but not really because journalism is so broad. Maybe I will end up working at my dad's office forever. When you get a piece of mail from me it will say

Michael Snyder
Finance Records Manager
Myron Steves & Co.

But even then, I will still be better than you. And we still have a lot to rag on you about. If you think Conica gets you off the hook, boy are you mistaken. This is what I warned you about - getting your confidence back. Or getting some in the first place. Oooh, I like the double meaning there.
.....

:: David 12:31 AM [+] ::

Holy crap, it's already 12:30. I completely lost track of time.
.....

:: David 12:30 AM [+] ::

Upon reflection, I've realized that it's tough to come up for interesting things for this blog as of late. I mean, unless Weasel actually starts listening to those voices in his head or Heath gets some sort of rare form of STD, then pickings are slim. All that leaves you with is ragging on me, and even that is going downhill due to recent developments. Unfortunately, that means we have to start getting creative...which is really more Weasel's department.

So what are the rest of you going to do with your lives? The more I think about it, the less I know. I used to think medical doctor, but who honestly actually PLANS to be an M.D.? You can't simply because it requires making the grade to get into med school, it's not like you can just walk right into it just because you want to. So really what you plan to do is take a lot of science in college and hope for the best when admissions time rolls around. Personally, I've gotten tired of this whole "training for a career" thing, but that's just me. Call me crazy, but not everyone should be expected to pick out a lifelong career when they're 18 or 19. From what I've seen, you just kind of fall into a major and that becomes what you do. Take mine, for instance. I came in as a psych major and I like it well enough, but I really don't have any basis as to things that I might like doing more than psychology. So I can just say that psychology is "good enough" for me to major in because it doesn't completely drive me up the wall (Note: anyone majoring in engineering is driven completely crazy, but it's ok because they can usually get fairly good jobs right away). Then there's Latin. I genuinely enjoy Latin, but what could I ever actually do with it? I could a) teach it to (bratty) high schoolers or b) somehow become the Pope's Latinist (yes, that is actually a real job. He's the guy that comes up with "Latin" words for the Pope to use for things that the Romans never had). Basically, what it boils down to is that both of the two majors that I could have (or if I do end up doubling up on them) are inherently useless unless I go to graduate or med school. Two useless majors. What's a kid to do? I just look at it this way: ideally, no matter what I do, be it PhD or M.D., someday there will be the abbreviation "Dr." in front of my name when you get something from me in the mail, and to me, that's just cool. And yes, I realize that neither Weasel nor Heath would ever call me "doctor". Heath wouldn't just so he could piss me off, and Weasel wouldn't because he will still think himself to be superior to me.

Let me just remind you, Weasel, that you've got a lot of requirements to meet before you officially become Superior Weasel. You'd better get off your lazy can and get it done.
.....

:: David 3:11 PM [+] ::

Yes. To use the present-day vernacular, this blog sucks. Right now, I'm a little too lazy to fix it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to write an email to set up some research times in the bio lab. I'll try and say something interesting later.
.....

:: the wease 7:46 PM [+] ::

I like Scrubs.

We should get this thing going. What say you, men? We need something interesting, really interesting, to spark conversation. And I, of course, have nothing.
.....

:: the wease 8:35 PM [+] ::

I only watch good movies. Not really, but I can't think of any at the moment. Office space is on right now. Heck yeah. I have nothing to say, but I really want to go back to school. Screw work. Screw curfew. And I'm excited about this mafia game....if only people would reply to my damn emails.
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:: Ryan 4:36 AM [+] ::

top 3 guilty pleasure movies
1 - pretty woman - everytime it comes on TV, i cant help but watch her.....i mean.....it.
2. Dirty dancing - dont know why, just do, and no im not queer.
3. beats me, those two stand out big time, i guess a very very distant third would be something like elvis movies, or office space, or a few good men. i guess the last two arent bad movies, but i watch them way too much none the less.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
.....

:: the wease 12:14 AM [+] ::

Sorry. I've been busy lately. Pet peeves are as follows:

1. My parents, especially involving when I go out and blah blah blah. I'll stop before I go off.
2. People who confuse "you're" and "your", and the three spellings of "there". Instant messaging is making our grammar go to shit.
3. People who dont understand how to drive on a 2-lane interstate. The left lane is for passing, not driving. If you disagree, let me know. I'd love to tell you why you're wrong. (ahem, chewy)
4. My sister and her annoying friend who is over right now.
5. When people mispronounce words.
6. Stupid people, obviously.
.....

:: David 4:22 PM [+] ::

Post number 3 for the day. It's kind of boring over here thus far, so let's make up a new list, shall we? But what kind of list? Alright, I've got it, list your guilty pleasure movies. These are movies that are not exactly good movies. We're talking the movies that get played like on a UPN Sunday or maybe late at night on PBS or Disney or something. In other words, the best bad movies. I really don't know how hard this will be, so we'll only go top 3. And the winners are (in no order):

1) Can't Buy Me Love
Starring Patrick Dempsey and a bunch of other people who I've never heard of, this love story begins in chickanery and ends in romance. A nerdy Dempsey gives the local popular girl $1000 to date him for a month so he too can break into the popular crowd. She does it because she needed to money to get a new leather dress, but as the month progresses she finds herself falling for the nerdy kid. What happens after that? Well, you'll just have to watch it yourself to find out...

2) Rocky IV
That's "Rocky 4" to all you Roman numeral illiterates out there. Now I know that this isn't really considered to be a bad movie, per se, but when it's shown at least a half dozen times on TBS and TNT every weekend, I think it qualifies. Apollo Creed, looking for a comeback fight, decides to pit himself against the ultra-masculine Russian, Ivan Drago. As James Brown entertains the crowd before the fight, we can all sense doom for Creed. The Russian pummels Creed and in round 2 lands a blow that sends Creed into convulsions and, eventually, death. Meanwhile, Rocky (Apollo's best friend) blames himself for his death because he was Apollo's corner man and didn't "throw in the towel" in time to save him. He needs to get his revenge, and the only way is to fight Drago himself...IN MOSCOW! Does the Russian bury Rocky? Probably not, since there's a Rocky V...but then again, you never know...

3) Back to the Future 3
Awful...awful movie, but I just can't say no to little Marty McFly, crazy Doc Brown, and a Delorian time machine. In the final of the three movies, young Marty has to go back to the old west to save Doc Brown from imminent death at the hands of Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen. He succeeds, but before the two can leave for 1985, Buford targets Marty as his new victim. Marty, backed into a corner and with his quick Irish temper, can't back down from a duel...especially since Buford has Doc held hostage! Will marty prevail? Will Doc and Marty ever get back to 1985? And what about Doc's dog Einstein and Marty's girlfriend Jennifer, who were left in the alternate 1985, will they be ok? The world may never know...

Wow, look at those suspensful bad movies. Makes you want to go out and watch them, doesn't it? Ok, maybe not.
.....

:: David 1:33 PM [+] ::

Oh, I'm hot just like your oven...
.....

:: David 1:27 PM [+] ::

I know that none of you really care about this, but I got out of the organic chem class that everybody fails in and into the organic chem class that everybody wants into. Hip hip hooray for add/drop! Let the good times roll...
.....

:: Ryan 12:52 AM [+] ::

because I wasn't just home for the past week chillin with yall? I wasnt even the one who wasnt around for most of the time, so back up. If we are gonna talk about how far you gonna go for a friend....I have been to see each of you 3's respective colleges.... how many of you have been to visit me???

~waves
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:: Heath 12:42 AM [+] ::

So that's Ryanese for "No way in hell i'm coming back to houston to spend time with my friends"
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:: Ryan 7:10 PM [+] ::

sup fellas, new years went well. didnt do a whole lot, but i enjoyed it. I am now back up at Tech, and glad to be. what did everyone else do?
.....

:: Heath 6:31 PM [+] ::

Guys...

I talked to Alisa about this before i came home. But, i thought it would be fun if i put my picture up at hotornot.com. At least, i think it would be fun. Any of you guys be up for it for kicks?
.....

:: David 2:43 PM [+] ::

I think I'm just going to hurry through this one. If I have time later to come back and expound on it, then I will. No order:

- Stupid People - you know the kind of people I'm talking about. Let's move on.

- Smoking - and yet so many people I know do it. No, it doesn't make you look cool, and no, we don't want to smell your stank breath. When I ride with my brother, I won't even let him smoke in his own car, but that's the price you pay for letting me ride shotgun.

- Players - man, come on, you know you can't play nothin' but a fiddle. That was a little stupid.

- Chirpiness - don't get me wrong, happy people are fine. But when they act like their happiness is cocaine induced, but in acuality it's not, I can't stand it. Think hummingbird if you want a mental picture.

- People who do stupid things just because they can, and not because they have an actual reason - there's nothing like hearing someone justify something by saying "I just felt like it." You know what I'm sayin'?

Honorable mentions go to belief sacrificers (who, for the sake of arguement, I lumped with the stupid people), people who talk like surfers even though they're from the midwest, and the devilish games of women.
.....

:: Ryan 2:06 AM [+] ::

my 5, in a lil different manner

1. things about girls. When they think play "games" such as "hard to get", or "lets not return his phone call that we said we would because that might actually show that i like him, which i do, but i have appear as if i dont". These are not fun games, despite how fun they may be for you, "you" being the collective female sex.


2. things about parents - after you have been gone to college for years, sometimes not coming in at all, and them demanding you be in at 11......oh wait, thats wease's answer.


3. school, altogether, school. the work, the getting up, the profs, the school. i wish i could just forge a degree.


4. I dont really have pet peeves, so ive been winging these past few, ill stop now.

sorry bout new years, i bet I will not be returning afterwards. hope everyone has fun, especially heath, having to be at work, how fun is that?
.....

:: Heath 12:59 AM [+] ::

Well i think New Years is gonna suck hard this year. Today has been a bad day...and really, there's no reason for it. But anyways, here are my pet peeves...in no particular order...

1.) Girls that have this thing where they don't call guys. I mean, yes i can understand it as being labeled proper or old fashioned but i just think it's stupid when it is expected of the guys to do all the calling. I mean, if you call us, it's not like it means we automatically think u want us. Guys like it when girls show a bit of effort. It's not a bad thing...get the hint.

I'll finish the other four tomorrow...monopoly time.
.....

:: David 8:33 PM [+] ::

Ryan, my question to you is if you are going to come back from Louisiana after New Year's, because starting New Year's Eve I'm in town for a full week and I'm going to have to be pissed off at you if I'm in town for a week and you decide to stay off in Louisiana. Word? Word.
.....

:: the wease 7:45 PM [+] ::

It doesn't look like I'll be around for New Year's either. I'm going to hang out with Brad, Drew, Erin, and other old friends that I've really lost touch with. IF the Gestapo let me go. Read about it

"never deciding what i should really do, or after i decide, realizing that I made the wrong decision" - I second that

"This world is full of people that live theire lives being content to just settle. I don't wanna do that. But life has a way of breaking you down to the point where you end up settling." - and i second that. Except I don't get the feeling I will be great. I'll just be another faceless slug in the world and my life will be as insignificant as the breath of a butterfly.

Pet peeves. Top 5. Go.

.....

:: Ryan 5:38 PM [+] ::

sorry for my tardiness.
in no real order

- letting those close to me down. may be my parents, or friends, or stuff to do with school. who knows. i am a pleaser, and if i dont please, then what am i. A BIG FAT failure. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

- never deciding what i should really do, or after i decide, realizing that I made the wrong decision. Ive got my future profession down to two choices, two very different choices, and the decision must be made in the upcoming months.

- nope, there is no death on my list, because i am not afraid of death. this doesnt mean that if a mac truck was coming towards me at 80 mph, i wouldnt pee my pants, it just means that i dont think about death, and am not worried about it. if anything, it brings me happiness, because this earth is not my home. also, being alone doesnt make this list either, because my well being doesnt reside in or with someone else. i guess if i had to come up with something, it would be not being able to provide for a family, or live the life that I wish to lead, which if being able to afford everything want, along with everything i need.

sorry for the cop out. i havent been paying much attn to this as i should. ill pick back up once im back up at school.

on that note, it looks like i will be spending new years in LA. My roommate called and said we have a place to stay, and I have heard of nothing that is going on around here. sorry, guys.
.....

:: Heath 3:13 AM [+] ::

I guess i should post my three biggest fears since i was the one that asked...that means ryan is only left to tell us his. Mine are as follows...

3.) Death- Now this covers both my death and the death of maybe someone close to me. It scares the heck out of me when i start thinking that at any second i could die. Yes i know where i'm going and yes i should be esctatic that i'm going there...but regardless of how much better it is then here...you only get one chance on earth and for God to decide to cut that short i think would really suck. Also, i don't think i could stand having someone in my family or a close friend die. I mean...it hasn't happened yet and when i think about it, i just can't picture my life without certain people in it...especially my parents. I've always told them i wanted them to outlive me. That way i wouldn't have to go through the agony of dealing with them dying.

2.) Being alone- And no i don't mean this as in being alone tomorrow night or something like that. What i mean is being destined to be single. You all are scoffing...heath being single for the rest of his life?..couldn't happen right? I realilze how blessed i've been to gotten to know some of the people i've been able tp get to know. But what if someday or some unknown reason girls just don't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm screwed. And yeah this is the soft side of Heath but i can't wait to have a wife and kids. I just can't picture being happen without them. Love for someone else is something that gets you through anything in your life. I don't care what happens as long as you have that one person you're meant for, you'll have the support and love you need. So what happens if i don't get that? That's right...i turn into a bitter old man who sits on his porch, scowls at little kids, and gets bags of sh$* thrown at him.

3.) Not achieving anything- Do you ever get that feeling that you were meant to do something great with your life...something that changes the way people think or feel? I've had this feeling for a few years now and it kinda depresses me to a point because it hinders me in trying to choose a career. I feel i was destined to do something or be something great. Once again...if i'm wrong then it sucks. I play out my life thinking back and wondering what if this and what if that. This world is full of people that live theire lives being content to just settle. I don't wanna do that. But life has a way of breaking you down to the point where you end up settling. I can't do that. The only loophole out of this one i think is being a good servant for the Lord because in doing so you. Any idea on how to be great? I'm stuck at the moment besides of course being a servant for the Lord.

PS connie is a mega-whore
.....

:: the wease 12:31 AM [+] ::

Connie Banks is a dirty whore
.....

:: David 1:56 PM [+] ::

About death...

I've never been afraid of dying. Doesn't scare me in the least. I don't really know why, I guess it's just because no matter what else you do you'll die someday, you just don't know when. So be it, that doesn't scare me. What I'm afraid of is how I might use the life I have (or, rather, not use it).
.....

:: the wease 11:29 AM [+] ::

I've been absent from this thing for a while. My Christmas was good. It was pretty laid back and I got a great meal and fun presents. Can't really complain.

I'm sooo tired, but it's worth it. Last night was fun, but I didn't get satisfied from Taboo. Corey needs to get into town so the girls will play against us and we can represent. All the other stuff we did was fun, too. IHOP and whatnot.

Alright, 3 biggest fears:

1) Dying - I don't want to die. I don't want to think about dying. My life is good, but who knows how death will be? No one knows, that's for sure. It's been my solid #1 fear for a long time. There are a few death-related sub fears included in this #1, like watching my friends and family die. And trust me, I will watch them all die! Also something with my principles/beliefs, and then there's always looking back on my life and regretting it.

2) Hating my Job - This might not be #2, but I only had 4 hours of sleep so back off. Anyway, I would be very miserable if I had to work at a job I hated everyday just to make money. Especially an office job. I'd turn into some bitter old man who hates everything he's doing but is too trapped by habit, social convention, and a family to find something I like doing.

3) Being alone? - I'm stumped for a #3 at the moment, and I'm in a hurry. That's one I've heard from many people. Or "being unhappy", which is so vague I might as well make my last fear "bad things."

Yeah, this could've been better. Sue me. And can I just say Congratulations to Chewy. I think your balls have moved back in, just give them something to do before they get bored.
.....

:: David 2:36 AM [+] ::

At first I thought this 3 biggest fears question would be easy, but the more I think about it the harder it is, so let's see what I can come up with. No order on this one, I'm afraid of all 3 of these things equally.

1) Failing. Not academically, not professionally, but personally. If I crapped-out in school and/or totally blew a career, but I was happy in my personal life, then I would still be happy. If I aced school and became a successful doctor, but was unhappy with my personal life, then my days would feel very long. I want to feel like I'm a good person, and I want to have good relationships with my friends, family, and girlfriend/wife because if I don't then I'll feel like I let someone down, and I don't like that at all. Right now, my biggest fear is letting down my dad in some way or not appreciating him enough. I never used to feel that close to him, but as soon as the divorce happened, Mom moved out and Jeff went to college, so my last year at home it was just me and him. It helped out our relationship leaps and bounds and now the last thing I want to do is let him down in any way. He's really understanding and a sweet guy. Anyway, that's a completely different topic, but that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about when I say failing personally. Letting down friends and family, not liking who I am, that kind of stuff. I guess it all adds up to not living up to my personal potential. I know I've got a ton of it, I just want to make sure I can live up with it. Scares me to death.

2) Being regarded too highly. This kind of fits in with the first one. I've found that the higher you hold someone the longer the fall from grace and the easier it is to be let down. Guess what? It works in the other direction, too. The higher you are held, the longer the fall, and the easier it is to fall short of what's expected of you. Don't get me wrong, I want to be respected and thought of well and looked up to if anyone wants to do so, but I want it to be realistic. I'm a man, and I'm going to make mistakes (very often, might I add), and that's ok. But if I get held to unrealistic expectations, then it gets a lot easier to not live up to them no matter how hard I may try. When you fall from that kind of height and hit the ground, it can be hard to get back any respect from the person who used to hold you so highly. (i.e. I don't like letting people down.)

3) This next one is really a combo having to do with any kids/family I might have in the future. I'm afraid I won't be able to provide for them like I want to. I want my family to live comfortably. I'll do my best to make sure that my wife and kids never wont for anything. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "But David, that means professional success would dictate your personal happiness. I thought you said if you were happy with your personal life, then nothing could touch that?" But that is in fact still the case because it will make me feel personally happy to know that my family and household is well taken care of. I could only be so blessed, because that can be a very unrealistic goal, so I could just be setting myself up for disappointment, but at least I'll try my best. And if it turns out I can spoil them, then that's ok with me. I'll try not to spoil them too much. The second half of it has to do with raising good kids. The fear is that I won't be able to raise them right and they'll turn out messed up because of me or something. Once again, I'll do my best. I feel like I'll be a great father, though. I just want the best for my kids (not that I have any)...

...of course, if I have a daughter, then it doesn't matter how much money I make because she'll be completely spoiled not only by me, but also by my entire side of the family. That and I wouldn't let her date until she's at least 35 because I know how guys are, and there's no way I want her even so much as talking to any of them. I don't think she'll go for that rule too much, which means it won't happen because I'm sure I'll be a big softy if towards any daughter I might have. Whoa whoa whoa, let's take a trip down to reality here for a minute: I'm 19 and I'm writing a blog. I've got time.

Those are my big 3. There are other ones, but I don't feel them as much as I feel those. Sorry that was so long, I tend to ramble. Hopefully it makes for good reading. Welcome to my mind, sorry it's so cramped in here.
.....

:: Heath 1:34 AM [+] ::

Well i'm kinda saddened with the blog being this quiet, so let's try to liven it up a bit.

First off, i'll tell ya what i did today. I slept and i slept and i slept. All day, waking up occasionally to eat lunch or dinner or to use the facilities. It was glorious...glorious i tell you. All together with last nights sleep which started at 2, i'd say i slept a total of 15 or 16 hours today. And now i'm not tired but i must sleep.

Hmm so how can we brighten this thing up? Umm give me your three biggest fears...could be anything from how your life will turn out to a certain way that ya die.
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:: Ryan 7:23 PM [+] ::

if you remember anything i have said to you

remember this one thing

no matter what a stripper tells you

there is no sex
in the champagne room

none
.....

:: Heath 5:44 PM [+] ::

Well...

I guess home for me is here with my family. I mean, i know i don't see them much even when i am home, but i know that when i'm up at school i look forward alot to the times when i get to come here. Yes yes i'm having fun at school and i love my friends up there...but it's not home. Shawnee will never be my home. And i also consider my friends home too. At first after high school i thought i'd keep in touch with all the friends i had from high school. But that didn't last. There are very few that i keep in actual close touch with now. Less than ten...and probly even less than that. I know this is short but i really dont know what else to say. I mean, Texas, and Spring, and my house and my family and my friends...they're all my home. And who knows if those would be true if my parents decided to move. Ya never know. That's home to me though.

How was everyone's Christmas by the way?
.....

:: Ryan 11:26 PM [+] ::

big props to david.
can a brotha get sum luv?
word.

Its funny how i can call my parents house "home", and then go up to Tech and call my house there by the same name. I dont think you can hit the nail on the head any better than david did in the previous post. I feel that home isnt any one place, and it really doesnt even have to be a place for the most part. anywhere that i am surrounded by the people i care about the most, weither it be in houston or in ruston, and you just get that feeling of total happiness, that nothing can go wrong. thats it. but, because the members of this here blog are all from houston, i will list my favorite things about coming home to houston from college.

First, i love seeing my family. despite how much it may not seem like it, and how much i stay out of the house, i love em, and i love spending what little time i get to with them.

a close second is friends. you just cant beat the group that i hang out with. they are the best to chill with, group wise, but also is composed of people i love to spend one on one time with as well. i look forward to this big time, not because i dont have friends up at school, but because none of the friends down here can ever be replaced with anyone in LA.

third. the places to eat, and late night availability of those places. i can count the eateries in ruston (minus fast food) on one hand, and only waffle house and huddle house are open past.....hmmmmmm....7pm. i spent just about the same amount of money over thanksgiving break as i did the entire first quarter up at Tech. but i love it, broke or not.

i also miss my usual spots (lake, etc) and chilin with peoples parents, but after a while, im always ready to get back to tech. thats all for now from me.
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:: the wease 11:22 PM [+] ::

I look forward to a few things - laundry, food, and friends. Laundry because my mom does it, and i hate washing clothes. Food because sometimes its good (my mom makes a few good meals) and because its not the same 4 things from the cafeteria.

As for friends, I have a great time seeing everyone. I don't do much sociallyor have many friends at SMU, so home is a nice change of pace. And my junior and senior years were 2 of the best in my life, and coming back here helps me relive those moments and make more memories. (ex: spring break) Perhaps its unhealthy to live in the past, but i still enjoy coming to a place where i'm weasel. Since we are about to play monopoly i'll end this lil post.
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:: David 10:17 PM [+] ::

That question deserves a tiraid by yours truly. For those of you who don't want to read the long answer, the simplified version of the answer is friends. For those of you who are prepared to read the longer version...

Home is a very important word to me. Just a month or two after I started college, Dad moved to Lake Jackson (a mere 80 miles away from Spring, and by "mere" I actually mean "long"). Early the next Spring, Mom moved downtown. This left me with no family in Spring, where I had done a lot of my growing up. Ever since then, I've felt like I don't have a home in a true sense of the word. I have a place that I live at in Austin, and I have two parents whose places I stay at in Houston and Lake Jackson, but that's about the extent of it. If you look at my weekends in college, I only go "home" to my parents' places if there's some sort of family function that I'm supposed to go to. It's hard to really tell you what it's like.

So you might be asking "Why don't you consider Spring your home, then?" Maybe you already know. It used to by my home, but I don't live there anymore. It's just as hard to come in and visit people as it is to come "home" to visit my parents. It's rough to come in and hang out and know that I have to leave while everyone else gets to stay and do anything they want to at any time they want to. As I sit here typing this out, a lot of you are probably at Marjie's. I'm not there, but I'd like to be. But no matter how much I'd like to be, I'm not. It's tough to have to plan so far in advance to do something as simple as going to a movie or staying at someone's house. It's tough to come into town and know that I have to leave when I don't really want to. Here I am on Christmas break, and I'm almost as limited in visiting friends as I am when I'm away at school. It was tough to come back to see Midsummer, which is why I never even made it to the show. I flaked out and went right to Mom's after spending a couple of hours eating and thinking at Meyer Park.

But in a truer since, Spring is the closest thing to home even if I don't live there myself. When long breaks come along where I'm away from school, I can't wait to get back into town and unwind with my friends. Nothing is as great as hanging out with my friends. Watching a movie, playing a game, just talking, doing stupid stuff, going out to eat. It's all gravy. It's a blessing that I can come back into town and be with people who make me feel at home. Some of my oldest and most faithful friends are there. I was lucky enough to see during this Christmas break that I am getting closer to people who I didn't even realize I was missing out on. And I am very glad that I didn't, or might never have known what I was missing. So when I think of coming home, that's what I look forward to, and that's what I enjoy. Monday night really couldn't have been any better, and I'd like to thank everyone for that.

On a similar note, I'm going to need to find a place to stay the night of the 27th...
.....

:: Ryan 4:12 PM [+] ::

I haven't the slightest, obviously it wasn't a huge ordeal for me, otherwise I would remember. on another note, what are the things that you enjoy or look forward to most about being home. anything from people, to food, all the way to (in my case) actual civalization.
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:: David 10:34 AM [+] ::

Next time I come into town: Friday, Dec. 27th

I can't really remember when I found out that Santa wasn't real, although I'm fairly certain it came in the form of a phone call one summer when I was at my grandmother's place. I was close enough to my brother in age that they just told us both at the same time (thus, he got more Santa time than I did). Jeff was devestated. It didn't really make a big impression on me, and I can't say that I was suprised. And even though Santa was dead, the Christmas spirit lived on - jolly fat man or not.

That's a pretty lackluster story, isn't it?
.....

:: the wease 2:09 AM [+] ::

My Christmas present to both Chewy and Connie is a subject change. For a holiday related question, I turn to memories of my past, of childhood fantasies crushed by time marching on. ...

It was an unseasonably warm december afternoon. I was a curious little rugrat of grade two, and I had just spent a long and boring day of shopping with my mother. Riding all over town, wandering through the clothing racks of department stores, and probably driving her crazy. As I'm rummaging through the bags on the way home I pull out a roll of wrapping paper and begin to play with it, probably as a sword or gun or something violent. All this wouldn't be memorable, except for the fact that I accidentally tore open the cellaphane wrapper around the roll and my mommy yelled at me. The wrapping paper was red, and had either stripes or little stars or something on it. I can't quite remember now, but I did remember Christmas morning when all of my gifts, including those from "Santa", had been wrapped with that paper. It could have made sense. Maybe this overweight Norseman not only broke into my house, ate my food, left me gifts, and didn't swipe our TV, but he also went and got some wrapping paper from the closet before he dropped the gifts off. I didn't really buy that story, though. That morning, Santa was dead to me. And every Chistmas since then has lost a little magic.

How did you find out that Santa isn't real?
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:: David 4:31 PM [+] ::

Here's a list for you: top 5 reasons why I didn't kiss Connie under the terms stipulated in what I like to call the Ceren Compromise of Christmas 2002.

5) I'll kiss when I actually feel the desire to kiss and it's reciprocated, not because someone's getting paid a buck and a half.
4) It was demeaning to Connie. It's one thing to call someone a ho, but to literally make them one...
3) Moreso, it was demeaning to me (I'll have you know I'm almost certain I can get at least a kiss without someone having to get paid to do it).
2) It was a no-brainer decision. Homie don't play dat, word.
1) I'm not THAT desperate...yet.

There you have it, the top 5 reasons why I wouldn't accept the deal. And come on Heath, a dollar fifty? You can do better than that, don't act like you got no bank.
.....

:: Ryan 4:08 PM [+] ::

the offer would have been declined by ryan because i dont even kiss a girl on the first date, let alone kiss a girl that I dont have any interest in. As i said before, its nothing against Connie, but I just dont care for her in that manner, and as little as a kiss may seem to some, it means more than that to me. Secondly, i wouldnt kiss anyone period for money, especially for such a small amount as heath could fork over. I havent dated anyone in over a year. does that make me want to go and kiss someone any quicker than if it had only been a month? no. even if it was 5 years? still, no. kissing is not a quota i must fill, nor is it a pleasure that i must have. When i find someone right, then it will come as a sign of affection and an added bonus, but not something that i strive for first.
.....

:: Heath 1:26 AM [+] ::

Well...

I would have declined the offer. But that's me. There isn't meant to be anything mean here but the situation is different for Chewy. We all know that. I would say if i were Chewy, i'd jump at the chance to kiss someone...especially with someone that he flirts with as much as Connie. So yes the situation might have been morally or ethically wrong, but Chewy knows in his heart that he regrets not doing it.
.....

:: the wease 12:14 AM [+] ::

1) At the risk of not getting an answer for 3 weeks, I ask you Ryan, why would you have declined the offer? And I guess I'll pose the same question to Chewy....and Heath and myself. Would you have accepted the offer? Why or not? Please explain your answer, citing specific examples from the text.

2) Hmmm, we must have a template-changing gremlin in our midst. How odd. Someone must be jealous of our amazing website.

3) My house is out for New Year's, unless you all want to go home at 12:30 and not be allowed to use fireworks. My dad has serious ethical and safety concerns about them. Every year its an issue....My parents are so fucking dumb.

Lord of the Rings on Monday! Hell yeah!
.....

:: Ryan 4:08 PM [+] ::

sorry about my abense, work sucks. Im sure once i get home on the 23rd, my posting will be back up to par. a few points before i go, though.

1) sorry to say, but i would have politely declined "the offer", just as David did. In fact, i think it took more "balls" to refuse the offer, as opposed to the amount that would have been required to accept it. and it has nothing to do with the person, or the amount of money, I just wouldnt have done it.

2) i havent changed the template, but feel free to change it back.

3) We need to find something for new years. If nothing is found soon, I will most likely go to LA for a new years bash that is sure to be huge, as 50+ ppl will be there, mostly from the BCM here at tech. So somebody better get to plannin.

see yall soon


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:: the wease 11:28 AM [+] ::

Who keeps changing our template around? Ysterday the column on the left was really skinny, and then the URLs to connie's blog and coneball were erased. Now our names at the top of each post are big (and ugly looking). As long as it's one of us I'll be ok. If it isn't, then I'd be a little worried.
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:: Heath 2:00 AM [+] ::

Well well well....quite the interesting night here. I'm only going to give you one little snippet of tonight's happenings.

I offered Connie a sum of money to kiss chewy for a certain amount of time (7 seconds is like nothing). She agreed so all we needed was consent from Chewy...you wouldn't think it would be that hard because after all, it's getting kissed by someone other than your mother. However, Chewy for whatever reason declines the offer. He even declined it after Connie asked what would happen if she offered to NOT GET PAID. He refused and thus, his balls packed up and left. The two even went so far as to lie about kissing eachother in another room, just to make it look better that they wouldn't do it in front of us. I question Chewy for declining this offer and i question Connie for not just pinning him up against a wall and planting one on him. After all, money is money.

I'm disappointed.
.....

:: David 1:25 PM [+] ::

When I talk to people from Spring, they'll sometimes ask me when I'm coming home next. It feels weird, kind of weird.

Everyone knows how Charlie's Angels get down like that. Due to the massive amounts of LSD and PCP that they do off-camera and the mindaltering effects that they cause, the Angels are able to do a meriad of things that are defined as "getting down."
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:: the wease 9:39 PM [+] ::

You must hve SOME money, even if it's 2 bucks. That's still money. But way to rain on the parade. You're like Michael Jordan in that respect, quitter.
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:: David 6:41 PM [+] ::

Life savings? I didn't know I had money. I've decided that I'm coming into town tomorrow night (Friday night) after I eat some dinner. So all of you out there better be ready to mix it up...or, you know, hang out with me. At least chill out with a movie or something. I'll see you guys tomorrow.
.....

:: the wease 6:38 PM [+] ::

Question: Charlie how your angels get down like that?

Hey folks, a few things. Chewy, I agree that you were never an MJ at anything, but I was letting your self glorifying comparison slide by to make my point about coming back. And what about all the crappy support players that have had long and lucrative careers? Just be one of them.

Let's do fun stuff this weekend. Party Hardy. And we need to plan our business? I think the 4 of us should start some fledgling project. It'd be fun to watch our life savings go up in smoke....go up in smoke, together.
.....

:: David 5:00 PM [+] ::

Come on, Weasel, I was never a Jordan. Jordan is legendary. I'm a role player, much like Bill Cartwright, BJ Armstrong, or Bill Paxon on Jordan's Bulls of yore. I made an occassional game winner or saver, and every now and then would have a big game, but I was really there to compliment the big names. I wasn't a franchise player myself. I helped bring the game to you, starting with that first tag team rampaging at Bryan's of Heath and me taking 14 straight games before nobody wanted to play us. And now my time has come, time to hang up the competitive play. My thumbs are old and worn and need surgery for the joints, and I just can't keep up with you youngsters anymore. Besides, I hate losing.

On another note, Dad's was pretty boring and it doesn't look like Mom's is going to be any better. I hope all of you at home are having a nice time.
.....

:: the wease 7:02 PM [+] ::

That is unacceptable. I need a partner. And Michael Jordan came back, mind you. You really are French, Chewy. Le Chewy I should say. I don't think your skill level has depleted, either. You can still beat Ryan. You can't refuse to play this game, too. You're really cramping our style with your no SSB, RISK, AA, Scrabble, or have sex with your mother policy. You've got to give us something to do.

I think I want Rachel to pick Ross, too. I'm much more a Ross than a Joey, so I've got to pull for myself. It would give all the other Rosses out there hope. Come to think of it, that hope won't ever be realized outside of TV or movies. Maybe Joey should get her so everyone sees how it works. So all the Rosses out there won't spend their life hoping for something that will never happen. The best ending for Friends, the one I have always advocated, is a 6-way hippie wedding where they all end up with each other. That would mean everybody wins, and it seems like they have exhuasted almost every possible combination of hooking the 6 up anyway. Then they could go live in a nudist colony and Phoebe would be the normal one.
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:: Heath 6:55 PM [+] ::

Chewy...

You're not retired. I'll tell you when you're retired. This isn't some easy, fun game you can leave at any time you choose. This is like a gang. The rest of us will tell you when you can get out...i'd hate to have to break your kneecaps over this.
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:: David 2:37 PM [+] ::

Yeah, right, whatever. On another note, I've got some bad news for you guys. News that you aren't going to like or agree with, but it must be done anyway, if only to save my sanity. I'd like to take this time to announce my retirement from the game Super Smash Brothers (otherwise known as SSB). It's been "fun", but, like Michael Jordan, the time has come for me to leave the game. I've already stayed too long, and I now realize that my skill level has depleated to the point that necessitates retirement. Thus, the end of my Kirby career.

And Rachel damn well BETTER choose Ross. There will be hell to pay if she doesn't. Hell to pay.
.....

:: Heath 9:37 PM [+] ::

Yeah chewy you should be ashamed of yourself. Where would we be now if after a day of playing Super Smash Brothers we just said, "Hmmm this will be tough to not suck at...maybe we should just give up for a while." I'll tell ya where we'd be. Not on a blog titled "Super Smash Brothers". And who wants to live in a world like that, honestly?

Well i'm about to post on my blog the happenings of the last few days...so go visit it after you read this.

Lata for now

ps...Rachel has seemingly already chosen Ross. If only the two would quit skirting around the issue and just do it. I'm tired of this close-but-not-quite hookup moments. If it doesn't stop, i'll start pullin for Joey again.
.....

:: the wease 6:20 PM [+] ::

No! Don't say that! Negative talk like that is what screwed up this country. Maybe if the South had had more positive energy, maybe if our GI's had support for 'nam, we wouldn't have these shameful memories. The last you thing you want to do is give up and admit defeat. Geez, Chewy. You're worse than the French.

So....Ross or Joey? Who should Rachel choose?
.....

:: David 12:21 AM [+] ::

As any moron with 2 eyes can see, the blog has lost steam. Such is the deamon of being home for Christmas break. All of you blog-readers out there would probably be best to check back after awhile because I doubt anything new (or at least entertaining) will be posted for a little while.
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:: the wease 12:39 AM [+] ::

You guys need to get home. And I shouldn't have told the office I would work over break. I haven't even started and I want to quit....so it begins.
.....

:: Heath 11:09 PM [+] ::

Well....i've been working the last five hours on my paper and still have a lot to go. Then tomorrow it's two classes, my computer lab final, working on another computer project, doing my new testament paper, studying for my english final which means preparing another essay, studying for my new testament final, ummmm and maybe i'll fit in sleep somewhere in there. The seventh circle of hell exists here at a baptist school. Go figure.
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:: David 10:42 PM [+] ::

We were being polite and not mentioning it to you, Weasel. You know, like when a kid wets his pants at a wedding or something, but no one wants to say anything about it.
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:: the wease 6:22 PM [+] ::

Oh no! I just discovered something about myself today...I'm an asshole. And I don't just mean when I am trying to make fun of people and be a jerk. I mean all the time. I'm a horrible person.
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:: David 3:04 PM [+] ::

I'm pretty busy, so I'm just going to post the tv characters list without any explanation. Right down to it...

1) Homer Simpson
2) Fraiser Crane
3) Dr. Cox
4) Maxwell Smart (I hope at least some of you know who that is)
And last but certainly not least...
5) The incomparable Aurther Fonzarelli
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:: Ryan 11:31 PM [+] ::

if the cage has a top to it, prolly tori. if it does not, sarah, because i would hop in and beat the flame headed piano wailer, and then beat sarah for going so long without putting out new material.
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:: David 7:06 PM [+] ::

Tori, easy. She's got a lot of pent-up anger. And about my characters, I'll get to them...someday...probably.
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:: the wease 7:00 PM [+] ::

Alright guys, call it:

Sarah MacLachlan vs. Tori Amos

Cage match, no weapons, ultimate fighting rules.

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:: the wease 11:43 PM [+] ::

Ok, I need to make an amendment to my 5th favorite TV character. I'm a little sketchy, but for now Baby Stewie has been reduced to the status (pronounced state-us, not stat-us) of an honorable mention.

The new # 5 ) Kevin Arnold, Wonder Years: He's a good kid from a good show about girls, friends, growing up, parents, school, and all the other things that seem to appear on this site. The show was somewhat more serious, and I feel I haven't done justice to non-comedy shows. Kevin Arnold, I salute you.

Other Honorable Mentions include Hawkeye Pierce (MASH), Niles Crane (Frasier), Dr. Cox (Scrubs), Chef (South Park), and Zack Morris (Saved By The Bell, Saved By The Bell The College Years).
.....

:: the wease 6:50 PM [+] ::

I have grown up on the TV, so this is going to be a hard list. That should probably tell me something about myself and my life, but I refuse to learn what it is. There are so many characters I want to put on here.

1) Homer Simpson, The Simpsons: I'm not sure if Homer really is the best character on the show, but he's great. As the main character, who is better to signify the show than he? Really, I would have a hard time coming up with a Top 5 Simpsons character list. It's too hard to narrow it down, so he is here to represent the entire cast of the show. Almost any other Simpsons character could occupy this #1 spot. The show is that good. Best Show Ever!!

2) Kramer, Seinfeld: Seinfeld is my other all time favorite show, and Kramer is so hilarious. Giddy up! Think of the life he leads. He never works, he gets free food from Jerry all the time, he pulls crazy stunts like driving a truckload of bottles to Michigan. It's sweet.

3) Cliff Huxtable, The Cosby Show: Another TV dad, perhaps the best TV dad. Cliff had hilarious facial expressions and let his kids know who was boss. There was always some funny scene with him playing with Rudy or Olivia, lecturing one of the kids, or getting whipped by his wife.

4) Red Foreman, That 70's Show: Hahaha, I am watching it right now. That 70's Show is another show with a strong cast. Fez, Hyde, Eric, Kelso and Jackie. They've all got something. It was really hard to give this spot to Red, but I love his bitter jackass nature. "How'd you like to own my foot in your ass?" "Son, bad things don't happen to you because you're unlucky. They happen because you're a dumbass." I think we can all learn from him.

5) Baby Stewy, Family Guy: The last one was tough, but I really identify with Stewie's contempt for idiots and desire to rule the world. I didn't watch enough family guy when it was on the air, and I think it's been cancelled for good.

Wow, that was hard. I watch too much TV. I noticed these were all comedy characters. I don't watch many dramas, apparently.
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:: Heath 1:28 AM [+] ::

Top five favorite TV characters....this is too easy.

1. Kelso from that 70's show. He's just so stupid it's funny ("OUCH MY EYE!!!"). Plus he's been with sweet sweet Mila. You have to respect a man like that. Check that...a man like that that's gotten to know Mila better in his van many a time.
2. Jack Bauer from 24. He's just a B.A. He's a government agent with a pass from the President to do whatever he wants. He chopped a guys head off ("GET ME A HACKSAW!!!") to get him into an inner circle of underground crime...B.A. man. That's all i can say.
3. Joey from Friends. Another stupid guy on the list ("MMMM noodle soup...DAMNIT!!!"). But Joey has feelings and a deeper personality than most give him credit for. Remember the thing he had for Rachel. He deserves her more than Ross. Plus if they were to have children, they'd be alot better lookin than that little rat Ross and her had.
4. Fez from that 70's show. He's on here purely for his accent i think ("Quit grilling me you bastard!!!"). On top of that he's got a cool style goin on. AND, he has always had a thing for Mila. Sweet Mila.
5. Simon Cowell. Given, yes he is himself on American Idol. But he's just so good at making people feel like crap ("Right now, i am jealous of the deaf"). I can't wait for the second season that starts in january. He also gets to sit next to Paula. What i wouldn't give to have her and Mila in the same room together. It would be like Christmas...for adults only. KIDDING EVERYONE.
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:: the wease 12:52 AM [+] ::

Did you guys talk about it or something? That's quite similar. But I've got to say that I've worried a lot about figuring out what i want to do, as well. And being worried that I won't figure it out in time. Thats why I need to transfer to a cheaper college. This one's too expensive to putz around at.

The losing touch with friends is also an issue for me. It's happened before, and I don't really like it. I don't keep up correspondences very well, and I can see it happening again with a lot of people I know now.

All that's ever on here are lists. We should strive for a little more conversation. But in case that idea dies, as so many of my ideas do, then let's talk about favorite TV characters. 5 favorite, once again. And what do you guys want to do over break? If we want to plan anything fun, like a lake jackson weekend or anything, let me know now so I can ask for that day off.
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:: Ryan 9:55 PM [+] ::

My List that will sound like Davids list

• being unsuccessful at what i do, or better yet, not deciding what "i do" until i am at an age where I am supposed to be retiring.


• not being able to not only provide for my family, but provide a higher than average living. As much fun as being ghetto fabulous is, I wouldnt want to remain that way.


• Not dying in itself, but dying and leaving loved ones without saying goodbye or how much they mean to me, or without leaving certain people with certain items.


• Not doing what i was put here to do.


• losing touch with those who have meant the most to me in this beginning portion of my life while transitioning into the next.

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:: David 4:20 PM [+] ::

Yeah, I guess I should post my list seeing as how it was my question to begin with. Let's have a looksee...

-Being in a war. I'm against killing and all that, but I'm also against being killed. Either way, a war is as close as you can get to Hell on Earth. I wouldn't want to be in that position, but more altruistically, I wouldn't want my loved ones put in that position. I sure as hell would not be coming home in a body bag.

-Not ever getting married. This is one I'm actually worried about. I'm a pretty picky guy, and it's bound to catch up with me sooner or later. Hopefully, it won't catch up with me here.

-Not being able to provide for my family. Come on, you know what I'm saying. Psychology bachelor degrees can get you a job at places like Exxon on the top floor, where all the big cheeses have their offices. Only problem is, you'll be the janitor. This whole doctor thing...better work out.

-Not being able to teach my kids right from wrong. Granted, these last two fears really hinge on fear number 2, but still, it's there. If my kids turn out to be rotten, horrible people, or they make some bad decisions that get them into trouble, I'll blame myself. I don't want that to happen to them.

-Failing. I don't like failing at things, and that can encompass alot of stuff. In fact, to me, failing applies to most everything. If something doesn't go the way I wanted it to, then it's my fault and I could've done something more to get it right. Other people might not see it that way, but I do. If something goes wrong that I didn't want to, then there was something I didn't do right, so I failed. Needless to say, I don't like failing. At anything. Ever.

And that's my list. It's not really in order, but those are definately my top 5.
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:: the wease 11:40 PM [+] ::

Aight, fellas. Where are the lists? And when does everybody get home for break. I'm back Friday the 13th around 4. We need to stay at someone's house once or twice so I won't get the 3rd degree if I'm out after 2:30. It's in the journal.

"Fucking Germans. Nothing ever changes." - The Big Lebowski
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:: Heath 1:04 AM [+] ::

To whom it may concern.....

This site is fun and nothing on here is meant to offend any of you. So please don't take things so personally.

Thank you everyone else for your continued support.

Sincerely,
The Management
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:: the wease 5:15 PM [+] ::

Ok, that last top 5 was laced with bitter laziness, much like I am. Here's a top 5 more along the lines of the question, but I'm not making any promises about curbing the bitter laziness:

- Auditioning for a musical. I sing as well as I adhere to deadlines.
- Having a friend die. I don't think I'd adjust well....No. not at all.
- Ving Rhames position...nuff said.
- Boot Camp. The military eats pieces of shit like me for breakfast. And if it were the Navy that whole Ving Rhames situation presents itself again...not pretty.
- Addicted to drugs. I have about as much self control as Robert Downey Jr. Look at me! I can't stop playing video games and posting on stupid websites long enough to write a paper 3 days late! I'd never get that monkey off my back.
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:: the wease 4:11 PM [+] ::

Heath, I agree with most of your top 5, (I never went to HC senior year) especially your #1. But chewy asked for realistic situations, and I don't see that happening. I think a top 5 imaginary situations would be a fun list to do after this one. Alright, here are my top 5 situations I do NOT want to be in -

1) Turning in my final philosophy paper 4 days late.
2) Turning in my second history paper 3 days late.
3) Turning in my second philosophy paper 2 days late.
4) Turning in my first philosophy paper 2 days late.
5) Turning in my website project a day late.
6) Being me when my parents see my grades.

Some might say I brought this on myself, but I contend that I'm a victim of society....so BACK OFF!!!!!
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:: Heath 12:27 AM [+] ::

Hmmm top five situations i would not want to be in.....

1.) Ving Rhames position in Pulp Fiction....you know what i'm talking about. I honestly can't tell you what i would be thinking.
2.) Living at Weasel's house. I wouldn't be able to put up with that.
3.) Chewy....when he's being folded up like a lawn chair by Ryan or Weas.
4.) Ummmm some embarassing situation...you pick.
5.) On the girls side when we're whoopin them in taboo or mad gabs.
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:: David 11:49 PM [+] ::

Hey, there's nothing wrong with being limber. Someday, some fine woman will appreciate me.

I mean more realistic stuff. Doesn't have to be completely realistic, but on the more realistic side of things.
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:: Ryan 11:44 PM [+] ::

who knew david could fold up faster than a lawn chair?

and about the next topic...are we talkin like "be in 4ft x 4ft room with a naked richard simmons"? or something more realistic?
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:: David 11:35 PM [+] ::

I second that emotion.
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:: Heath 11:30 PM [+] ::

If by dominate you mean Weas gettin stuck in the corning gasping for air, then i guess you can call it dominating. But i'd rather call dominating what me and chewy do to you guys in spades...it's just downright awful.
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:: Ryan 6:56 PM [+] ::

and corpus is on my list too....you cant beat wrestling...which might i add... heath did NOT win at, and given the chance again, me and wease would dominate once again.
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:: Ryan 6:54 PM [+] ::

sorry about my lag in posting. here you go

not really in order, somewhat

• westside - that was the ultimate cast. always a good time, inside rehersal or out. not only did i enjoy spending time with the people i already knew, but i first met some really cool people who i am still really close with as well. the play was amazing, but that wasn't the best thing i took out of it. Ill also list TBQOL as well, cause that cast and tech and alternates was off the hook, and going to state wasnt too shabby either.


• cast parties - not one in particular, but all of them were great. always surrounded by great people, just chillin, havin a great time doing nothing after blowin up a show.


• the long list of mischevious actions i have dipped my hat into. there are more than i can count, and rather than single them out and get in trouble, ill just say that people should hate me for what i have done.


• senior year. man, that was the start of what was to come in college......nothing. i did nothing, all year. i got out of every class every day and just chilled in the drama hall or auditorium and listened to music in the booth. it was a year full of thinking, bout what i was gonna do, who i was, etc etc. and alot of good music and good times. my best year to date...i think. funny...cause my senior year was david's junior year...his fav.


• again, to protect myself , im going to go general and say certain situations with certain girl. You just cant beat laying in the park and talking for hours into the night, or knowing that you would do anything for that person, drive hours every weekend to see them. the list could go on, but it will stop here.

i am dissapointed in my list. note that it was very rushed, as i am about to head out the door to go watch tech football get whooped by fresno state, you can watch too on ESPN2 at 8. i may revise later, but off of the top of my head, that is good enough for me.

PS - i prolly could have included some stuff from up here at college, but they wouldnt have included yall or people yall know, i.e. - peach orchard times etc., but i kept it local.

lata
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:: Heath 6:32 PM [+] ::

Guys...

I've been sitting in this lab for two hours trying to work with PaintShop Pro but we can only use the trial version and it's not cooperating. So now i'm downloading the trial version of Adobe PhotoShop and hopefully it will give me some better loving than the latter. As for some good times....

-Corpus Christi, as i said before....It was just two days filled with nothing but games, eating, and watching TV. Oh yeah, some good sleep too. We covered alot of ground in some of those conversations and also figured out that heath wins at every game we play.

-Robber Bridegroom...looking back, i realize how much i sucked in that show. But at the time i didn't care because i was having the best time in my life. First show, i get the lead. Man i was on top of the world. I got to make all the girls like me a bit and i wooed Kristen. Yeah she knows it. OH OH Kristen...remember when we would make comments right before second act started about a certain duo basically groping each other when they shouldn't have been? I had a lot of fun with Fenley directing. The show put most everyone in a good mood and even though it could have been better, i wouldn't trade it for anything.

-Joseph...this play was just fun because i really could just enjoy myself. Not much character work to do when you're a brother, ya know what i mean? Marcus was really cool too...i think that's how ya spell his name. I wish i had gotten to do Guys and Dolls, but this made up for it. Favorite part of the experience was getting to be the Pharoah the last performance when he's under the covers. Chewy broke character for like two seconds when he started crackin up. Man i could go on and on about this show.

-Streetcar...this was a really tough show to go and rehearse day after day. But i loved the character, what else can i say?

-Incubus concert...Guys, it was amazing getting to be 15 feet away and listen to CD quality music. You could feel the energy in the pit, or was it the girl behind me groping me?...i don't know.

-NSync concerts 1 and 2...i don't think i need to go into detail about this. You all know my feelings.

There's plenty more but those are a few of the really good ones.
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:: David 4:56 PM [+] ::

This is a little early for a new topic, but I want to say it anyway because if I don't say it now, I'll forget it:

Top 5 situations you would NOT want to be in

Now, continue on with the current list.
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:: David 4:30 PM [+] ::

Hardly a fiasco. I'll roll up next on this list.

1) Junior year of high school. There wasn't anything not fun about junior year, it was a roller coaster of kick-ass good times. If I ever have an extended period of time filled with so much fun and enjoyment like junior year, I might slip into a coma. Amazing year. 3M, OAP, G&D, school was actually fun, and I had quite the happenings in my outside-of-school life as well as my in-school life (if you catch my drift). Great year, best one in my life to date. I do feel blessed because alot of times people don't have a stretch of time that's SO GOOD for SO LONG.

2) Making "West Side Story". It was my first show, I met a bunch of people who I'm now either still close or fairly close to, and I got to play a Puerto Rican gangster named Rico. What's not good about that? Absolutely changed my life. Also here in spot number 2: drama banquet sophomore year.

3) Ok, so after the PSAT my junior year (it was something like the second weekend in October), I went to the zoo and planetarium with Monica because her church was going. That, for some reason, stands out in my mind as a really great time.

4) Break, breakdown...Ryan, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Not a proud memory, but a good one nonetheless. (Also for Ryan, "What are you pointing at, the wall?" Oh man...good times.)

5) ACDA in Chicago sophomore year with choir. Amazing. Simply amazing. Oh, another choir thing, always the nights after banquets. Those were fun, too.

Weasel made mention that all of his took place between 7th grade and senior year, and he thought that was sad because he's been in college for 3 semesters. I notice the same trend with mine, except it's even more compact. All of this stuff is within 24 months of each other at most. Damn, I need to have more fun, what's up with that?
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:: the wease 3:42 PM [+] ::

Come on, I've been there, too. Well, some of it anyway. But why do you insist on mentioning it and bringing it up? You easily could have just listed some good times you've had without this whole fiasco. And even though ryan said "don't hold back" I still contend that he was not asking for the 5 best times of your life, just 5 notable or memorable ones. I pray to God (geicko? I'm a gecko!) you've had 5 memorable times in addition to the time you spent with Monica. Anyway, why don't I try to get this thing going.

The High Points of my Low Life

• The Beauty Queen of Lenane - I had so much fun working on and being a part of that play. It was amazing. I was really lucky the way everyone more qualified than me quit so that I could have a spot, because that show was just great. I liked the play. I liked the people. I liked the rain downs in our stanky hotel room. Great fun all around....Heath, I'm sorry you missed that.


• Amadeus - Another play?! Yeah, sorry. It's a toss up bewteen Amadeus and Beauty Queen for most fun drama memory. I had my only role with a NAME in this show. I also loved this play. The cast wasn't as solid as BQL becauseit had more than 4 people in it, but for the most part I liked the people I got to work with. And it was really fun to flame around as the Emperor onstage and make people laugh. A nice change of pace from flaming around in my normal life and making people laugh. More specifically, I sat around backstage one night telling old war stories as the Emperor about how I got all my medals. Had a blast.


• Something with Krystal needs to go here, but I can't figure out what. We had a LOT of really good times together, just laughing and playing and making out. Huh? What? Who said that?? Hmmm....Well there's 2 that keep sticking out in my mind. Sophomore year (2 years before we went out) we were walking out of english making fun of West Side Story and came up with some inside jokes. Too much background for me to type them out here. And my other favorite krystal memory is the first time we "petted" or "necked" or "played tonsil hockey" or she "called me the gangster of love." I'll spare you the details.


• My friends and I, waaaay back in 7th grade, made a movie for a class project. I watched it over the summer and it brought back memories of fun and good times. I need to get a copy of it. This movie started my love of making stupid movies. These were the same guys who introduced me to Axis and Allies, so you can blame them. (Are we playing over xmas?)


• Last one....and I'll go with my church choir trip junior year. We went to Branson, MI. Don't worry, that's not what made it fun. I hung out with Drew Heaton a lot of the trip and we had some good times. We dressed up as firemen using plastic firehats from Firehouse Subs and solicited donations from the bus. We needed donations because, well, we were fighting fires with plastic hats. We made enough to cover the cost of lunch and the complimentary fire hat.

Well that's some of my life, take it as you will. As I've been sitting here trying to narrow it down to 5 memories I realized a few things. 1) I've had a lot of fun in my life with some wonderful friends. 2) I have almost no memorable memories from the past 3 semester in college, with Corpus being an exception. 3) There could be a lot more drama stuff up there. GP, anyone? 4) There could also be a lot more from my church group. 5) Most of my memories (even the ones not listed) are from about 7th grade and on. What happened in my life for 13 years?? 6) This is quite long enough.
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:: David 2:34 PM [+] ::

Gee, Weasel, I always knew I could count on you to be understanding.
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:: the wease 2:31 PM [+] ::

Ok, my mistake. Chewy, I stand corrected and you have, once again copped out. Allow me to post your list for you so that you can avoid being made fun of:

5 of Chewy's Favorite Moments

1. That time I did something with or somehow relating to Monica.
2. That time I did something with or somehow relating to Monica.
3. That time I did something with or somehow relating to Monica.
4. That time I did something with or somehow relating to Monica.
5. That time I did something with or somehow relating to sodomy.

Anyone else have a list?
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:: David 2:18 PM [+] ::

Oh, I see now. Yeah, my mistake. I just didn't know that when Ryan said "don't hold back", he actually meant "yes, hold back." My faux pas.
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:: the wease 2:15 PM [+] ::

Cry. Cry me a river. If you'd dry your eyes long enough to actually read the question, you would see that all it asks for is option B anyway. "What are some of your favorite moments in your life to date?" It didn't say the top 5, just some of the better moments. So really, you wont be copping out when you do what you're planning to do....at least this time. I still stand by my post, Coppy McCop-outerson.
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:: David 2:05 PM [+] ::

Ok, so what are my options? I can a) post an actual top five with probably 4 of those involving Monica somehow and then let you guys make fun of me for that, or b) post just five good times and have you guys make fun of me for backing out. Yeah, a real win-win situation there. I know for a fact you guys aren't interested in me posting a top 5 with a bunch of those being stuff with Monica, nor am I really interested in posting it for the world to see and thinking of it myself, thereby putting me in a bad mood. So sorry guys, but I opt for option b.

Grow up.
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:: Heath 1:46 PM [+] ::

Excellent point weas....i mean chewy has NEVER copped out on anything the rest of us wanna do...so why does he want to start now?
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:: the wease 1:14 PM [+] ::

Chewy, copping out?! I'm shocked! You never cop out of anything we do, ever.
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:: David 11:02 AM [+] ::

I don't know about this list. I might have to cop out on it and just put 5 good times that I had that aren't necessarily the best times I've had for personal reasons. We'll just have to see, now won't we?
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:: Ryan 10:13 PM [+] ::

oh, david, i heart boo as well. isnt she lovely.....
anywho...

as seen on one of heath's surveys that he sent thru the mail...

What are some of your favorite moments in your life to date?
we will limit to .....5....and don't hold back.

the reason i picked this is cause heaths first answer was "corpus with the guys over spring break".

w0rd.
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:: the wease 9:44 PM [+] ::

If any of our avid readers would like us to put a link to their page on here, we would be more than happy to. And perhaps you could indulge us by linking to our site on your page, too. Just send me an IM, and if your page cuts the mustard then you can be included in our Wall of Fame. Check it out!
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:: Heath 7:32 PM [+] ::

Well...

I'm helping support my brother's new passion....Coneball. He and his friends invented this game. It's pretty funny to see the videos (especially the last one) and read the rules.

www.coneball.com

Go visit it...i was amused.
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:: David 4:56 PM [+] ::

I forgot this, too. If you can get away with wearing no make up, then you'll steal my heart for sure. Natural beauty is nice. Oh oh, and I forgot about the back thing. A good back is so nice. I love to stroke girls' backs (not that I have a ton of experience). I could do that soft stroking for hours. Hours, I tell you.
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:: David 4:52 PM [+] ::

Oh, and if you go around people's backs alot and I know about it, you can kiss it goodbye.
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:: David 4:49 PM [+] ::

What attracts me to a girl? That's a tough one, and really, until I get to actually know her, there are only a couple of things that I can actually say attracts me to a girl (and the majority of those are shallow). So, I'll give those, but then I'll give more of what makes me NOT attracted to a girl. Here we go...

-I'm not going to lie, a good body and a pretty face are both initial things that attract me to a girl, and I can defend that as not shallow (kind of) because physical good looks are all basically subjective. They vary from person to person. Also, she's got to have some body to her, and when I say that, I mean that she can't have the figure of an anorexic sheet of paper.

-Brunettes are pretty.

-You know what? I love those little cotton shorts. I don't care who knows it, I LOVE those little cotton shorts. I feel dirty even saying it.

-When they say or do something goofy. You can't beat that, you just can't beat that.

-When I get to know her a little better, a soft touch. And I don't mean "Damn, baby, your hands are like a pillow" (but soft hands are nice). I'm talking a gentle touch, a warmth to her touch. You can feel those things much deeper than the skin.

-The afore mentioned "doe eyes". BUT I want to clarify this. Doe eyes does not mean eyes. Doey eyes are a look that girls give, but I in no way mean that eyes in general attract me. When it comes to me, usually, no ones eyes are screwed up enough to make me not like them because eyes are all usually nice, even the eyes of people who are skeezy and have awful personalities. Yes, eyes are nice and pretty, but when I look at someone and look them in the eyes before I know them, it's not going to mean a thing to me. The reason I'd fall in love with someone's eyes is because I fell in love with them first, and that's when I'd be able to look deep inside of those eyes and get lost in them (note: you can also use "like" in place of "fall in love with" if you want to).

-They don't have to look like it's a toothpaste commercial or anything, but you guys are right, the teeth can't be too bad.

-There's a scent that I like, but I'm not going to disclose it at this time. Sorry.

And now for the things that are don'ts:

-Vapidity and/or irresponsibility. If I hear you complaining about something completely stupid or that's your own fault, expect no pity. In fact, you should pity me, because I'm probably dumber for having had to listen to you.

-A complete lack of moral fiber. Like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. I like to get as freaky as the next guy, and it's always nice to find a girl who also enjoys getting freaky. BUT there is a limit. I'm not going to pretend that I'm a pure little angel or anything, but I'm no skeez either. If you're some skeezy ho, hit the bricks because you ain't for me.

-Hair dyed so much that it doesn't even look close to natural. We're talking hot pink, blue, green, etc. Need I say more?

-If you talk like a valley girl, that kills me...in a bad way. Lots of shrieking and saying "like" 20 times in what would otherwise be a 5 word sentence is not a turn on. That's a tough one to get past.

That's about it for now. I could go into more detail and name some other things, but then everyone might get bored and stop reading the blog. In light of that, I'll go ahead and stop now. I want to leave you with this one last thought, though...

I heart boo.

Ryan, you know what I'm saying.

.....

:: the wease 3:11 AM [+] ::

This log is a lot more fun than updating my journal(that old thing) or my homework. It's killin me here. I'm going to fail. Miserably. Ok, so when I say fail I mean make a B or B-. But that's how it starts....I get comfortable with accepting average grades and next thing ya know I'm flipping burgers and living in an efficiency apt. on minimum wage. Now a little more about the ladies:

-I've got to add an "amen" to the sweatpants/chillin clothes comments. The natural beauty thing is a big deal with me, so I like a girl that's genuinely pretty and isn't always trying. After all, I never do.

-Fat. Yes, you read me. Not huge 300lb women, just girls that have fat on their body. I'm usually much more attracted to women that have a little body. Most ultra skinny gals got that way by starving themselves, and you can tell. There are only a select few that can wear that look, and the rest look ill.

-back and shoulders: Have you ever seen The Devil's Advocate, at least i think that's the movie. Pacino (hoo-ah!) has a speech about how alluring a back and shoulders can be. I didn't think about it until then, but now I agree.

-And I have to agree with Heath's answer about making out during Sportscenter. I never watch it, but any girl who wants to make out with me while it's on scores a lot of points.

-Ok, one more on a TV vein. Appreciation for the Simpsons. None of this "i used to watch it" or "i never really got into it" bullshit. So many people just don't know....sigh. I cry for them.
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:: Heath 12:04 AM [+] ::

What drives me crazy about girls?...

-I'm gonna go with Weas and go good teeth/smile. I've never kissed a girl with bad teeth and i don't think i can do it. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those that have bad teeth, but it's just not for me. Plus, bad teeth just makes me feel like that person's gonna have bad breath...we can't have that
-A good laugh...not too loud, one that amuses me to listen to without annoying me after awhile.
-No awkward pauses when i'm talkin to them- i can't stand it when i'm on a date and she struggles to come with things to talk about. I'm a pretty chatty person and i hold up my end of the conversation, so i expect at least some effort on the part of the girl. This usually means there shouldn't be any blocks of time where i'm just sitting there, staring at the wall, wondering what we're gonna talk about next. It should just come naturally.
-I like Ryan's answer about sweats and a tshirt. I like it when girls get all prettied up for me...on occasion. But i also like it when we can just rent a movie and chill. This means comfort-wear. This is usually alot more attractive to me then makeup and a dress.
-Pretty much anything from bath and body works drives me nuts...i like sweet smells. Nothing to old-ladyish.
-I like it alot when girls can deal with my love for NSync music. It's a turnoff when they make fun of me for it...and it's just plain mean.
-Hair in a pony tail. I don't know why. Call my crazy, but i've always found a girl with her hair up in a ponytail to be attractive.
-Yes i like the stomach. And i'm not gonna lie and say it doesn't drive me crazy, but i love it when the naval is pierced. I think it's just cute.
-When girls like watchin Sportscenter with me...making out with me during sportscenter....same thing.
-I just really like it when i can be comfortable with someone and not feel like i have to impress them. I've had to do that lately and it gets me away from who i really am.
-The last thing i'm putting is eyes. I love a girl with beautiful eyes. That's what i like about Mila Kunis. A girls eyes important because in those moments where there's really nothing to talk about or you're at a place where you can't talk, you can just look at her and see those eyes and just know. DRIVES ME CRAZY!
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:: Heath 11:36 PM [+] ::

Hey guys...just had this conversation with Connie...pretty interesting

Connie3258: hey im a dancer AND latin, I wil be phoemnomal
Connie3258: it will take a certain kind of man to handle me
Connie3258: a man like chewy

And here's chewy's response after seeing this...

AWChewy: hahahahaha
AWChewy: good comedy all the way around
AWChewy: i've never really been called a man before

Well that just made my day.
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:: Ryan 10:46 PM [+] ::

Things that drive me wild


• as mentioned before, coolwater or happy for women, or the no longer available daffodil fields by bath and body works. all three are A-mazing


• long hair


• soft skin


• stomach


• being able to talk for hours on end....not just at the beginning when you are finding out stuff about them....but well into a relationship.


• laughter


• when she wears somethin chillin like sweatpants and a t shirt

I'll start off with these few, as Heath deemed this a "difficult topic". Hopefully this will help out a little bit. I may post more later, these are just what came to me off the top of my head.
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:: the wease 7:59 PM [+] ::

Hahaha...HI-larious. Ryan, thanks for waiting for the rest of us, but I don't think we'll all graduate at the same time anyway. Chewy might grad school it up. I might take a little longer than planned. So you've got the go ahead from me. Just finish school whenever you want.

Heath, I was at the library last night...and no dice. Maybe it will happen the next time I'm there. I'll let you know in a year. Oh, and when I was picturing the sexy librarian scenario, she just happened to be Tina Fey. Go figure...

So with that I transition into my list. I'll have to put brains on there, and there are some other intangibles. But I don't think that's quite what we're looking for here.

-Smile/teeth are always a big thing with me. Girls who smile a lot seem way more attractive, and because of that they need to have decent looking teeth. Yellow=no go. And since I have such hideous looking dinosaur teeth I can at least live vicariously through hers....it's like hair being a big deal to George Costanza.

-I just went blank, so I'll say cleavage. I don't mean a lot of it, or huge boobs or anything. But when there's some cleavage I can't help but notice. Once again, Seinfeld provides us with some guidlines: "It's like staring at the sun. You take a peek, then you look away."

I can't think right now. I need to meet more girls, something I can't do if I fail out of college. Gotta get to work, gotta get to work.
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:: David 7:54 PM [+] ::

Well that's interesting, everyone is last on their own list. How interesting...
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:: Ryan 7:12 PM [+] ::

What attracts you?

Take this not as "what you are looking for in a woman" or "your ideal girl", but rather, what things attract you to a girl. For example, Coolwater for women, or Happy. Both smells attract me to a female. take this and run with it. list as many as you wish.
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:: Ryan 7:10 PM [+] ::

sorry about my tardiness in posting, now that I am back at school, I don't have all that free time that i had at home.

the previous posts have cracked me up, by the way. I WILL graduate one day....now when that day is right now is sketchy, but it will happen. what if I was just trying to be nice and instead of being a year ahead of yall, take things a little slower so that we could graduate together and start our own buisness??? anywho, my list....

1) David - no joke, no mishaps. I just have a feeling. His traits that would impress a girl are there, he just has to get off his rear and get out, rather than wait for some girl to come find him. once this happens, its the chapel from there. *i must enter a clause to this though....if he pursues graduate school, this could set him back quite a bit. I'm not sure where he would land, but I don't think it would be number one anymore.*

2) Heath - let me relate this to baseball. A team's #8 hitter gets to the plate more times than the pinch hitter does. So, you can bet that the #8 hitter will get more hits simply because he gets more chances. such is the same with heath. Not one girl has noticed me in the past year, whereas EVERY, yes every girl, has noticed heath. Now don't get me wrong, Im not saying that heath doesnt have marrage qualities, or that he is a bad guy, cause dispite how much crap i give him, he is a good guy, and deserves someone that will treat him right...and allow him to see as many other girls as he wishes.....j/j.

3) Wease - the second spot was a toss up between wease and heath, and heath won out due to sheer numbers. I think wease has us all beat in personality, and all he has to wait for is the girl to get to know his well enough to see it all. I remember that I didn't get the complete wease expeirience until the end of my senior year. wease's marrage should be solid as well.

4) Ryan - no, i'm not down on myself, or think that i will never meet another female ever, i just thought about it and think i will be at the bottom, or near to it. I don't even know why I really think this, i just do. I've still got a lot to learn, but I am in no hurry. Marrage, as well as girls, are not a priority to me. If things are meant to be, then they will be, weither it is tomorrow or ten years down the road.

there you have it. now for the next list.............
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:: Heath 5:59 PM [+] ::

Hmmmm this is quite the interesting topic we have here...

I'm not gonna lie. I really enjoy the fact that both Chewy and Weas think i'm gonna be the first to wed. And, again to be honest, the thought of getting married does cross my mind. I could see myself gettin hitched rather quickly. However, to spice up this topic a bit i'm gonna shy away from myself as the top choice. I've learned that life throws lots of curveballs, so really, why treat this topic any differently.

With that said, here's my list...

1) Chewy- Like i said, life throws curveballs, and this would count as a mild (moderate?, somewhat of a?, huge?..yes, huge) suprise to us all. I took everything into mind when i decided that Chewy would be the first out of us all. What made me choose him? Well, he does look like a fifteen year old now, but girls will see that this means he'll age better. They'll like that. Maybe he'll find someone new that is totally swept off their feet by him, and he, of course, would jump at the chance to hook it up with someone that worships him and is out of grade school. ORRRRR, a past love may be rekindled. This I see as the most likely scenerio. Whatever the case, Chewy will be the first.

2.) Weasel-Weas is more of an intellectual than the rest of us put together. I see him going to the library late one night to cram three months work into a few hours. Once there, he sees a librarian checkin his assets out underneath the dim, amber light. He starts to notice her back and before you know it the two are rolling around on top of Great Expectations (ironic title eh?). They continue this casual fling for two weeks...meeting up in the old classics section late at night for a mid-study romp. Weas asks her to marry him and they get married the following summer. So, Weas will follow Chewy. Too bad Erma is sixty and the couple is unable to parent children.

3.) Ryan- I see Ryan getting married at the start of his career, whatever that may be. His marriage will be the best out of all of ours as he'll meet someone smart, funny, and as devoted to God as himself. They'll live happily ever after and have two children...Heath and Heather. Ryan thought it right to name them after his best friend who predicted exactly what would happen with his future.

4.) The Rest of the Free World...Excluding David Brown

5.) Heath- Yes, it's bound to happen. The Lakers will eventually have a mishap in the playoffs. Super Smash Bros. will get boring. Ryan will graduate from college. And I will run out of luck with women. As Chewy will agree, i always seem worried that a girl i really like won't respond with the same feelings. So far, i've been wrong...luckily for myself. But one day, this won't happen and i'll go into a great depression, make outrageous statements like I invented the question mark, and i'll die a lonely death. At my will reading, however, i'll give all of my assets to Brooke Burke and it will be announced to the world that i had many one night stands with whomever Chewy marries. Oh what a way to go.
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:: the wease 4:35 PM [+] ::

I changed the template around so that our names are at the top of each post instead of the bottom. Do you guys like it?
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:: David 4:06 PM [+] ::

Weasel, I agree with you entirely.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Heath will be the first one to cross into the realm of marriage. Even in his fickle nature, he meets tons of girls who all end up having a crush on him, and just by sheer numbers alone probability dicatates that he'll find someone before Weasel, Ryan, and myself.

Next in line is Ryan. He's got the head start being a year older, and he seems to get out and do things. Plus, he looks older than he is, so he's got a wider range of women to select from (where as I look like a 13 year old, which limits my selection quite a bit). Definately, Ryan is number two.

After that, it's a little sketchy. Looks like Weasel and I are both effectively bringing up the rear. It seems like a race to the finish line...and the pace is a crawl. I have to give this one to Weasel, though. I think he might beat me to it just because he seems to meet more people than I do. Out of all of the people that I am friends with here that I didn't know before high school, two are girls. Two. And one has a boyfriend (but I wouldn't date her anyway, no offense Amy). See, so really, I'm officially playing catch-up.

So the order is...
1) Heath
2) Ryan
3) Weasel
4) The rest of the free world
5) David

At least I can look on the bright side. Cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday for years to come and my lips won't ever get tired from all of that pesky making out. Lucky me.
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:: the wease 1:42 PM [+] ::

This isn't posting again.....I'm very impatient.
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:: the wease 11:49 AM [+] ::

Alright, fellas. Let's continue a conversation that we had at Marjie's without Chewy, this time for all the readers to see. Which one of us will get married first, assuming that any of us will?

My money is on Heath, surprisingly enough. Yes, I believe Heath is fickle is beyond all belief. But it's a sheer numbers game. Out of all the women he meets, there's bound to be someone in there he likes. And the way he's knockin 'em down it won't be long before he finds her.

A very close second place goes to Ryan. He's got us beat in the maturity and age departments, but then he said he wasn't getting married until after he finishes school. Lord knows when that will be.

Chewy, you will die a terrible, terrible death. Oh, I'm sorry. That was our last caller. Hang on, I'm getting something.....You will die a terrible, terrible death.

I think we're all forgetting the real winners, here, and they are of course the 9 Mormon wives I will eventually take. Here's lookin at you, ladies.
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:: the wease 5:01 PM [+] ::

Tara Reid...I forgot about her, but she does need to bulk up. And since our lists are done....now what?
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:: David 4:39 PM [+] ::

Oh, also I would've given an honorable mention out to Alyssa Milano, but her weird bangs just freak me out too much.
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:: David 4:38 PM [+] ::

Ok, let's see what I can do. I'm really not sure how this list is going to look when I get to the end of it, but I'll make it as good as possible. As far as suprises go, those of you who don't already know what it is, there is one coming. I'd also like to note, this is not in order. And we're off.

1) Susan Ward
That's right, a relatively no name actress who does relatively no name movies. And probably always will. Doesn't matter to me, though. This list is about the lookers, and she is one. Like Britney Spears (see below), Susan is a down home girl from Louisiana. I'll be the first to admit that I think "Louisiana" is French for "God foresaken inbred festering swamp hole", but now I'll take out the inbred part because, let's face it, so far the women they've produced for this generation have NOT had webbed feet and faces that would fighten even Michael Jackson. Becuase of this, Louisiana doesn't become my number 1 worst state in America (for the record, Arkansas and Mississippi are numbers 1 and 2, respectively). But that's another story, back to Susan. This 5'5" (I read that somewhere) temptress is truly attractive. She's part English, Spanish, and Cherokee. I'm not sure you can top that. What really puts it all together is the brown hair with green eyes...whoa mama. And get this, she studied psychology for one month at UL-Monroe. See that? Psychology. It was meant to be. She might be the perfect woman, I think if I were ranking she would be number 1. Her height, her look, her hair, her eyes, her everything. It's all perfect.

2) Jennifer Lopez
Don't roll your eyes yet. As far as I'm concerned, she's pretty fake. Come on, she's not as ghetto as she tries to portray herself (and she's marrying Ben Affleck...yeah, real ghetto). Bronx my butt. However, since this is a looks list, she's in. Besides, I mean Jeniffer Lopez, not J. Lo. My hang up on her is her curves. As Ryan would put it, she's got back for days. Her body just kills me. She's got a soft face too, really adorable. Throw in that tan skin and dark hair, and it's over. I'm putty in her hands. Thank God for Puerto Rico.

3) Mila Kunis
Just like the former three, tanned skin and dark hair. Do we indeed see a pattern? Hmmmm...I must have a type. Anyway, Mila is the fox on Fox. In fact, she's already been mentioned in one of my listing blogs, so you might go back and take a look at it if you can get to it. The great part about Mila is that she's younger than me. She was born in August of '83, people. In my mind, that makes her much more realistic for me to set my sight on. What's so special about her, you ask? Those big...brown...eyes. Good Lord, one doe-eyed look from her and I'd melt. There's no faster way to my heart than that doe-eyed look.

4) Denise Richards
You know exactly what I'm talking about. Just like Susan, brown hair and blue/green eyes. But Denise is more sultry. She's a vixen, I'm telling you. But everyone knows she's a vixen. In every movie she's ever been in, she's been the seductress/ho/resident hot chick. She doesn't have those doe eyes, she's got temptress eyes. She's all about mystery and excitement, and to tell you the truth, that's pretty exciting. Two thumbs up for Denise, she can seduce me any time she wants.

5) Brittany Daniel
I'm sure that none of you know who this is. To tell you the truth, I didn't for a long time. She was one of the actors in the semi-recently cancelled That 80s Show on Fox, and more notably in the David Spade movie Joe Dirt. She's even blonde (note: the only one on the list). I had reservations about picking her up on my list. There were some other people that under normal circumstances (see below) would've made the list, pushing Brittany to the back. But those folks, for one reason or another, couldn't make it, so here we are with Brittany Daniel. And in my opinion, it's not a shabby pick. I feel very solid about having her on the team. I've seen Joe Dirt, and I've seen what she wears in Joe Dirt, and I like what she wears in Joe Dirt. Enough said.

Now, to address what I'm sure you are all thinking...there's no Britney Spears (also down home from Louisiana) on here. That's right, there's not. There's a good reason: she cheated on Justin. There's lots of things that homie tolerates (see J. Lo), but cheating is not one of them. And now I know what you're thinking: But David, what about...? Ok, ok, so I've tolerated it, but that was a different time and different circumstances, and now I'm not a tolerator (let's hope I never actually have to make that decision because when it comes down to it I'm an extremely forgiving person). Anyway, sorry Britney, but you cheated, and now you're off the top five. Consider this your honorable mention.

Other honorable mentions go to Anna Kournikova (as usual, always close to the top five, but never actually in it), Catherine Zeta-Jones (I had to think long and hard for that last spot, another brunette), and Tara Reid (who is officially my number 6, but loses out to Brittany Daniel because of the body. She just needs to put some meat on herself. But, oh, those doe eyes of hers...).

And there you have it. A varitable shmorgousboard of radiated beauty. If you make a rundown of the list, you can easily tell that I have a type. I've said it once, I'll say it again. You can keep your blondes and red-heads, I'll take a brunette anyday.
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:: Heath 2:51 PM [+] ::

A little fun note as we wait for Chewy's list...

This is a conversation that happened the other night during the Taboo game (the guys were whoopin up on the girls):

Guys: Man this is just like the Nazis and the Jews

Girls: Haha...but who is who?

Guys: We're the Nazis...remember who slaughtered who.

Maybe it was funnier when it happened, i don't know.
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:: the wease 1:00 PM [+] ::

My list isnt going to be good, but here it is anyway. Maybe then we can move on. I've never really put much effort into "The List" before, and this one will be no different. Here they are, in no particular order:

Britney - Yeah, she's hot. But really she's on here because I have writer's block. She's the token hot chick in our society, at least for now, so why not put her on here.

Nicole Kidman - What can I say? Purty, blonde, a great voice, and a genuine smile.

Susan Ward - Ok, I had no idea who she was until Ryan put her on his list. I went looking for some pictures of her and boy oh boy, she's a looker. I don't know too much about her, though, so she might get bumped off of here at a later date.

Mena Suvari - I can't put my finger on it, but she's got something I like. There are other celebrities better looking than she, but I think she just knows how to work it, and Mena, I'm perfectly fine with that.

Tina Fey - As far as looks go, she can't compete with any of the other girls we've listed. They're in a whole other league. But she blows them all away when it comes to personality and humor. I'd date her just so I could hear her make fun of me. She could roast me all night long.

Well gentlemen, there it is. I know it's not the best list, but at least it's a list. Maybe we can get some conversation going on this thing again.

We need to find a team that can challenge our dominance in Taboo. There's got to be some ladies out there with the right skillz. Watching Corey play gives me hope for that. Who else is out there?
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:: Heath 1:32 AM [+] ::

I'm just gonna say...

Weas and Chewy...your lists better be pretty darn good for us to be waiting this long.
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:: David 8:51 PM [+] ::

You guys are going to have to wait another 15 hours or so for my list because school (when it comes to being busy) is the devil* (see footnote). I've got a test tomorrow that I haven't stu